[center][img]http://i.imgur.com/CllpOun.png[/img]
[color=6ecff6][h2]Dallas Grenier - Whore of the Orient[/h2][/color]
[sub][url=https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eQSGw0hMd_I]Morning, sunshine.[/url][/sub][/center]

After so long being smacked in the ass by increasingly early sunsets in Europe...there was something peaceful about the Land of the Rising Sun. Like from here, mornings couldn't possibly come earlier. It was solace - like when you start feeling better under torture because it can't get worse. Or the ten minutes after you come where you feel Zen enough to do your calculus homework.

Was there calculus homework at this place? He couldn't imagine that a place where they would be learning to master their bodies, stop evil in its tracks, and pull kittens from trees would care much about putting letters in their math. And if they did, well...God gave everyone the right to come for a reason, Dal guessed.

He rose unsteadily on the plastic-wrapped couch, rubbing his bare neck with a loathsome wakefulness. Part of being comprised of maybe 30-50% clocks was that you were never, ever, ever going to miss a goddamn deadline. Between Dad's schedule and his Quirk, the last time he'd slept in was the last time he could still get his ass beat for coming home from school with one out of five behavior stars. Back when he still needed a reason to get his ass beat.

[color=6ecff6][i]They were the best of times.[/i][/color]

Dallas swiveled into a sitting position, hearing his slim legs drag on the plastic with a squeak that made him wince. There were plenty of advantages to living in an unused apartment in the center of a floor of unused apartments - cheap utilities, place to sleep, no need to decorate - but the sleeping arrangements made him wonder why he even tried to get his usual three or four hours of beauty sleep anyway. He might as well have parked his lithe ass on the coffee table in his quest for z's. At least he could move around without squeaking like a hinge.

He took a deep breath through his nose.

Let it out, Dally boy. Nice and slow. Layers can always be torn right off, you know that.

He blinked.

Smiled as awareness seeped in. Today was the day. Brave High. He'd finally weaved a lie good enough to weasel his way in. Admitting a shallow con or two usually took people off guard enough to drop the big one. People always believe the truths that come out the most reluctantly, and this was the big one - a past that was real enough to get him into the school of his dreams.

He was gonna be a superhero. In a year, they'd be slapping posters of him over Nightwing's. In three years, Wonder Woman's. Goals.

And as much as he'd love to fight crime in his Calvins...

[color=6ecff6][i]Today, I'm going to be presentable.[/i][/color]

***

Oh.

Oh God.

Why did he try this.

Everyone was so [i]reserved[/i] here. All that anime had lied to him - people didn't do shit for dick in the way of socializing here! In Europe, they said hello with three words, a kiss on each cheek and a healthy game of grab-ass. And Dallas [i]loved[/i] grab-ass. Shit, he would even kill for a good old fashioned American-style traffic jam in the hallway, at least it would make him think these Imperial shitheels liked talking to each other!

And these [i]desks![/i] As soon as Dallas walked into senior homeroom, he knew something was wrong. Granted, he had never stepped foot in a high school - and had been thrown out of middle school faster than a handsy art teacher - but he was pretty sure that the "student desks" were supposed to be ergonomic, re-purposed from days on the set of torture porn movies. The second he sat down and tried to push his chair back from his desk, only to find with horror that his seat was hooked to the preacher's-dick-tiny square table in front of him by a thick metal beam, he had to suppress a panicked scream.

He felt like he was in Silence of the Lambs, trying to get comfy in this thing. And he didn't even eat people.

...

Well...lately.

It's the greatest of men who can realize their mistakes the earliest...and right now, Dallas Grenier was feeling pretty fucking great.

[color=6ecff6][i]Hero school.[/i][/color]

How did this sound like a good idea, again?