This poem is for/about someone that was once the most important person in my life. She was my best friend. And when she decided she didn't want to be my friend anymore, it tore open a part of me that will never be filled. Even though I am now married, I still miss my best friend. And I know I will never be the same. I hope one day things change between us. I still hope. Maybe I am stupid, maybe it's my stupid Virgo personality of wanting to cling to people I cared about. But here it is. A mashup of different songs mixed with poetry.

Maybe she will read this and know the pain I am enduring. Maybe not. Maybe it will make a D I F F E R E N C E. maybe not. Maybe she won't even care. I don't know. I just know when you are inspired to write you HAVE to get it down. And here it is. To quote a song from The walking dead: "you will find loss, and you'll fear what you found. When the weather comes, oh, tear him down." I don't wish this hell on anyone, not even my worst enemy. But sadly it happens to everyone sooner or later. And depending on the impact you had on eachothers lives, it is the worst pain you can possibly feel. I hope I did a good job personifying it. Because it is truly a hell of the mind, the worst kind of hells. I would rather burn an eternity than deal with this. But I have no choice.

If you read this, former best friend, I miss you so much...


I saw the light fade from the sky
     [i]You left me in the dark[/i]
I will say this last goodbye
     [i]And I'm left with a shattered heart[/i]
Night is now falling, so ends this day
     [i]Out of my life, just gone
     Now I'm left to carry on[/i]
The road is now calling, and I must away
     [i]But tears still sting my eyes
     Some nights I still cry[/i]
Many places I have been
     [i]The memories are strong, like the sadness that dwells[/i]
Many sorrows I have seen
     [i]And I tread through my personal hells[/i]
But I don't regret, nor will I forget all who took that road with me
     [i]You may have left me hurting, bleeding
     But I will never regret our meeting[/i]
And though where the road then takes me, I cannot tell. We came 
all this way, but Now comes the day to bid you farewell
   [i]  And from my life you may have part
     But you're always in my heart[/i]

Hello Darkness my old friend; I've come to talk with you again
[i]     And that, is a two edged blade
     Memories are also sorrows made[/i]
Because a vision softly creeping left its seeds while I was 
sleeping. And the vision that was planted in my brain. Still 
remains; within the sounds of silence
  [i]   Memories I hold so dear
     Memories of when you were here
     By my side
     It was a wonderful ride
     and now you're gone
     I must move on[/i]
In restless dreams I walked alone; narrow streets of cobblestone. 
'Neath the halo of a street lamp. I turned my collar of the cold 
and damp
    [i] But moving on, I don't know if I can
     When still I care, I'll always give a damn
     Memories of when you were here
     Thought I had nothing to fear
     I didn't walk alone
     Now my heart is shattered stone[/i]
And in the naked light I saw; ten thousand people maybe more. 
People talking without speaking. People hearing without listening.
    [i] I know I am partly to blame
     That my life will never be the same
     I know this sadness I partially wrought
     A very hard lesson I am tought
     I listened, but not maybe not as much as you needed
     I spoke, but the warnings were not heeded[/i]
  People writing songs that voices never share. And no one dared 
disturb the sounds of silence
      [i]And now this part of my life is taken away
      just a blink, a snap, you chose not to stay[/i]
Take my arms that I might reach you. 
     [i]I tried, in the end
     For us to make amends[/i]
But my words, like silent raindrops fell and echoed in the wells 
of silence
    [i] But once more I was left in tears
     As you brought about my fears
     And left me alone in the end
     Darkness, to ascend[/i]

Look around, there's no one but you and me
     [i]But now this is just an old memory
     You're nowhere I can see[/i]
Right here and now, the way it was meant to be
    [i] And I'm left wondering how all we had made
     shattered, crumbled, and began to fade[/i]
There's a smile on my face
     [i] But there are days in my mind I still see
      When I was smiling because I was happy[/i]
knowing that together everything that's in our way; we're better 
than alright.
     [i] And I just knew
      My friendship with you
      Was eternally strong
      But I was wrong[/i]
Off into the sunset, living like there's nothing left to lose
     [i]Even if I was having a bad day
     you were my ray
     of light, that I sought
     but you seem to have forgot
     Just what we once had, you and I
     And this...this is why I still cry[/i]
Chasing after goldmines, crossing the fine lines we knew
    [i] Not many had a friendship like we
     I still don't have anyone like you, I know you see
     Like the owl you so closely love
     I see you still watch from above[/i]
Hold on and take a breath, I'll be there every step walking 
between the raindrops with you
     [i]But that doesn't matter, you're not here
     And this emptiness I fear
     It still lingers on
     I can't see to carry on
     How can I move past my best friend
     How can I be expected to let that end
     You knew me like no one else
     You knew me better than I knew myself[/i]
Take me now, the world's such a crazy place; when the walls come 
down, you'll know I'm here to stay
     [i]You were supposed to be
     right next to me
     And now I have this rip in my heart
     Why did you part?
     Do you not care of my pain?
     THAT is insane
     There was a day this would never fly
     And now I ask why
     we let this happen to you and I[/i]
There's nothing I would change, knowing that together everything 
that's in our way...we're better than alright
      [i]There's much I would change, if only I could
      and you know fucking well I would
      but I suppose now it's too late
      I must endure this fate[/i]

 It's been a long day without you my friend, and I'll tell you all 
about it when I se eyou again
      [i]Maybe one day I WILL see you again
      Maybe fate will send
      the one person who truly was my best friend
      And here I sit, typing and crying
      Tears falling, sadness intensifying[/i]
We've come a long way from where we began
      [i]Too long, and not the right place
      this emptiness I face
      the sadness inside
      My heart is torn open wide[/i]
Damn who knew, all the planes we flew good things we've been 
through
     [i] I was supposed to be right here talking with you
      Who knew
      that we would be torn apart, ripped asunder
      That my mind would be burried under
      memories of you and I when we were friends
      But now the sorror rends
      heart and soul
      sandess and tears
      It seems OUR worst fears
      Have come to pass
      I pray it won't last[/i]
Everything I went through you were standing there by my side and 
now you gonna be with me for the last ride
    [i] So it was supposed to be
     You and me
     Standing together in the end
     Can we mend?
     Can we stand? 
     Will you one day again take my hand?
     Or will you let our friendship die
     as I cry
     as I bleed myself dry
     of emotion, and turn stone cold
     Grow emotionally old
     lose the one friend I thought would I would die for
     would die for me
     and now I see
     Doesn't want to be around me no more[/i]
It's been a long day, without you my friend and I'll tell you all 
about it when I see you again. We've come a long way from where we 
began, and I'll tell you all about it when I see you again
     [i]Maybe one day you we'll be friends anew
     you'll be with me, I'll be with you
     Maybe we'll stand together
     Forever
     As friends do
     Me and you
     I hope this comes to pass
     That this fucking sadness doesn't last
     That we find the same road
     share the load
     and once again
     become friends
     Cause despite what happened between me and you
     I miss you
     I wonder if you miss me
     I wonder if I'll ever be
     together again
     With my long lost best friend[/i]