[quote=@Prince of Seraphs]
<Snipped quote by Kafka Komedy>

Is this actually a game?
[/quote]

Yeah, its an old Xbox Live game called The Dishwasher: Vampire Smile. Its made by the people who did Charlie Murder and Salt and Sanctuary. Its a one of those DMC type games, but in 2d. 

Also the backstory is pretty wacky, yeah. It kinda takes a back seat to the combat and style. 

EDIT: So is that around the power level you were looking for at the start?