A DEMONIC CHOIR PLAYS. RED LIGHT FILLS THE ROOM. FROM THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR, FIRE AND BRIMSTONE APPEAR. SEVERAL WARRIOR PRIESTS BEGIN TO HOLD OUT CRUCIFIXES AND WILL THE HELL AWAY, BUT IT DOES NOT WORK. FOR IT IS NOT HELL.

IT IS THE RED THREAT.

ARISING FROM A PORTAL COMES MOTHERFUCKING STALIN, HE TAKES THE NEAREST PERSON AND PURGES THEM LIBERALLY WITH AN AK-47. HE THEN PROCEEDS TO DROP IT, FOR THE DAMN COMMIE SCUM DOESN'T NEED A GUN TO SEND EVERY FIGHTER TO THE GULAGS. HE POINTS AT UNCLE SAM AND SCREAMS "YOU'RE GOING DOWN, DAMNED CAPITALIST BOURGEOISIE SCUM," AND HE SHOWS OFF HIS NUKES. FLEXING THOSE GODDAMNED NUCLEAR MUSCLES. GOD DAMN. HE PROCEEDS TO BOWL HIS WAY THROUGH THE CROWD LIKE THEY'RE NOT EVEN FUCKING THERE. HE'S GOT HIS GODDAMNED TARGET AND HE'S NOT GONNA GIVE UP.

THE PINKO SCUM INTERRUPTS UNCLE SAM'S FIGHT, TACKLING HIM WITH FURY ONLY A DAMN COMMIE COULD KNOW.