A GIANT WOODEN HAND REACHED OUT AND GRABBED THE UNICORNS HORN, STOPPING ITS CHARGE COLD. THE HAND BELONGED TO SOME GIANT WEIRD ASS WOODEN STATUE MOTHERFUCKER WITH THE HEAD OF A NOBLE STALLION. THOUGH ITS FACE BORE NO EXPRESSION YOU COULD FEEL THE JEALOUSY POURING FROM ITS EVERY ORIFICE, IF IT HAD ORIFICES. REALLY, THIS GUY WAS PRETTY UNREADABLE. WITH A FURIOUS WHINNY THAT SEEMED TO COME FROM WITHIN HIS BODY THE GOLEM HORSE RIPPED THE HORN FROM THE UNICORNS HEAD, SPRAYING EVERYONE AROUND HIM WITH RAINBOW BLOOD. HE TOOK THE HORN AND, WITH ALL THE STRENGTH HE COULD MUSTER, SHOVED IT INTO THE MIDDLE OF HIS FOREHEAD. 

HE TOOK A MOMENT TO BASK IN THE GLOW OF IT ALL. HE RAISED HIS FISTS UP TO THE SKY, AS IF TO CHALLENGE APHRODITE HERSELF WITH JUST HOW FUCKING BEAUTIFUL HE WAS. THEN HE HEADBUTTED DEADPOOL OFF THE SCREAMING UNICORN.