[center]He'd only risen to deposit his plate in the sink, his gaze locking with Christian before he turned away. A shower and time to cool off would do them both good, he paused however and approached the male. “I'll meet you after I've settled the kids down and have showered, if you'd like we can meet in the library. It's under the stairs.” He whispered softly, his tone blank and tired-sounding. His shoulders felt heavy as he left the kitchen, he could feel three pairs of eyes on his back but he couldn't be bothered. 

His mind wouldn't stop churning with half-formed memories and sensations. 

Dinner had passed and with it, Kieran ushered the kids and Ryanair up to the second floor. A female wolf by the name of Evian had taken to caring for the kids, Kieran remained silent and allowed it. It was helpful having another set of hands, and the kids seemed to have taken a shining to not just her but everyone. As he entered their room he motioned for them to go to the bathroom, Evian following after them with clothes in her arms. Ryanair’s arms around his shoulders had Kieran tensing before melting into the embrace, he felt so damn hollow. 

“You okay?” Was whispered into his ear, Kieran’s teeth grit as the answer sprung to his lips. Sudden anger filled him and he spun to face the other, it felt primal and had his heart hammering in his chest. He wasn't aware when he pinned his fledgling to the wall, less so when he'd buried his face in the juncture between his collarbone and shoulder. His fingers spasmed in the clothe he gripped, Ryanair’s arms engulfing him and tightening. “This talk seems to be bringing back memorise you can't seem to understand. Will you still do it?” These words were whisperer into his hair, Kieran shaking his head in a sharp gesture.  

The sound of the shower turning on filled the silence as he tried to regain control. He swallowed and pressed himself closer to the other, his nose nuzzling against the blonde's mark. Terror, hunger and exhaustion were waring inside of him. The sensation of flame tracing over his body had him shivering, his eyes squeezing tightly closed. Why was the simple fact that the mention of the conversation had him reacting like this? 

Was he going insane? His eyes snapped open when warmth settled itself against his temple. Kieran pulled back and before he could think, his fangs had pierced his mark. Their bond flared and Ryanair melted into his arms, Kieran gathering him closer and he willed his mind to settle. He wasn't a child and scared of his father anymore, he was a man and he needed to try and make sense of the only part of his existence that refused to make sense. After a moment more, Kieran pulled away and licked the blood trailing down Ryanair’s neck. His fledgling shuddered and made a low sound, Kieran helped him stand and moved them to the door. 

Pausing before the door he knew Ryanair had claimed as his own, he dismissed it with a shake if his head. He'd taken what little energy his Ryanair had and he felt horrible about it. He led them to his own room, opening the door and guiding them to the bathroom. Twenty minutes later both emerged, Ryanair more asleep then awake. Kieran led him to his king-sized bed and settled him down amongst the sheets, he smoothed the others wet locks away from his face. Emerald eyes opened and blinked sleepily up at him, their bond flared with affection and trust. Ryanair was silently telling him that he wasn't mad, that he understood and accepted what Kieran needed of him. The elder vampire leaned forward and pressed his forehead against the blonde's, his mind was calmer but his heart ached. 

He pressed a kiss to Ryanair’s forehead before he moved away, his lips lingering over the others. He sent an answering wave of affection and regret, before pressing a chaste kiss upon the warm lips of his fledgling. “Sleep now, pet. Tomorrow is another day and we still have to plan, I'll be back shortly.” The blonde nodded and Kieran straightened to exit the room, he had the children to put to bed. Ten minutes later and a story read, Kieran sat in the library with a book opened in his lap. 

It was time to make sense of the mess in his head.[/center] 

[@earlymorninstar]