First, I think it's important we actually look at your interest thread instead of make judgements based on hearsay.
Don't get me wrong, the advice is helpful, and I appreciate it. But the reason I didn't link the interest check here was because, as I said, I don't want to make it look like I'm so desperate for players that I'm using this thread as an excuse to advertise my RP. Hence why I only originally asked how many people actually look at the interest check sections and how reliable those actually are. If you're willing to help regardless, of course I'm going to accept it.
#1) The tread title is too long in my opinion. A shorter title will almost always get more interest than a longer one. "Fate/Install" is fine. "Fate/Install (Fate/stay night RP, based on the mechanics of Fate/kaleid liner Prisma Illya)" is too long and might actually stop an interested party from checking it out. As a Fate/Stay night fan, I get it's a FSN RP without the explanation. The goal is to lure them into the interest check/OOC subtly, not advertise everything. If you let people get curious, they will look.
This is something I'm rather unsure about. I'm working under the assumption that
most people don't bother to look at anything beyond the title, at least at a first glance, so I wanted the title to immediately and clearly convey a general idea of what the RP is going to be about. If it was just "Fate/Install", some people might be able to tell that it's a FSN RP, and even those might just write it off as just another FSN carbon copy that they'd seen a hundred times before and thus nothing particularly noteworthy; the majority of people might not glean anything from the title, and not spend the effort to actually open the thread and read it. Are you speaking from personal experience that a longer and more detailed title is more likely to turn people off than a shorter and more concise one? Without some more concrete evidence, I'm hesitant to believe that the majority of people do anything more than "judging the book by the cover", as they say.
#2) The first paragraph is mostly about what you don't want in the RP. We're trying to lure, not push away. If you're worried saying "Fate/kaleid" is going to draw in a bunch of magical girl/loli fans, strike it from your description. Don't tell me what you hate, woo me with how awesome this RP is going to be, and all the cool things I WILL be able to do in it. That's what I want to see FIRST.
This is worth some consideration. However, to expand on what I mentioned in the previous paragraph, I didn't want people to think that this is just going to be another cookie-cutter FSN clone that they'd seen many times before. I personally have nothing against simply copying the premise of FSN canon, but I wasn't willing to take the chance with other people when trying to attract their attention. Additionally, one of the main points of my RP is that its main mechanics are
different from the main FSN, so I wasn't sure how I could convey that without saying something like "based on the mechanics of Prisma Illya". I didn't want to say something like "Fate/stay night with a twist", since that 1) actually tells people nothing about what the twist is, and 2) would probably just end up looking tryhard and/or desperate anyways. So I do think Prisma Illya still needs to be mentioned somewhere.
You do make a good point on starting with telling about what the RP will be, instead of what it won't be, however. For now I could rearrange the paragraphs and edit them a bit, so that readers are immediately exposed to the basic summary first, instead for the fact that it won't contain loli magical girls. If you have any other suggestions, though, please tell me.
I would also watch fate stay night or unlimited blade works. UBW is an easy recommend since it's on net flicks and has really good animation. I would have a hard time taking anyone seriously if they didn't experience the original work or one of it's more popular variants.
In the disclaimer at the end I did say I watched UBW, and did some fairly extensive research on the wiki. Do you think I should make that part more obvious or something? I didn't think it was as important, compared to actually grabbing the reader's attention and telling him what the RP will be about.