[@Raijinslayer]

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As for the thing with your mom, that really doesn't sound good. I'm not sure what you should do, given all the factors. Is there anyone you can talk to about her behavior, because that seems unacceptable in my opinion. Like I get parents getting on your case, but this sounds like she's trying to break your self-confidence or something,like she's messing with your head. Sorry if I'm overstepping  my boundaries by saying this, but it pisses me off to think off people acting like that towards their own children.

There's always my social worker, and if things get back my psychologist.

That's the thing though, I know it's no purposeful. I'm very, VERY certain, gaslighting or not, my mom really does care for us, and it's just difficult because of her own mental illness.

I don't know if she's messing with my head or if I'm just losing it tbh. My mom can get manipulative as a coping mechanism when she feels endangered due to her PTSD (eg - My uncle Omed is a 35 year old man, wants to visit sister Saba. My mom tells him no, please let me drive you, it's cold, you could slip, etc. Uncle says he wants the excercise anyhow. Mom's mind panics. Mom lies to Omed, tells him that the kids want to go as well -which is a big fat lie because very few people have made me feel as betrayed as Saba has and I'm constantly on edge and anxious around her, a fact my mom knows- and that it's easier to just drive everyone. Omed feels guilty because he doesn't want to disappoint us. He agrees. Mom is relieved. Brother and I get dragged to Saba's. I call her out at home. She denies it ever happening. It's not her intention to hurt me - she just wants to keep her brother safe, even if the threat is really non-existent.)

Don't get the wrong idea about her, she wants what's best, she's just a little skewed in perception methinks.

All the same though, she's shrugged off some really disturbing stuff which I'd rather not get into here, but eh.
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