[@Ornatur]

Looks great, really got a feel for your character there.  I'm accepting your character. 

[@ghastlyInc]

Much better. I still feel that the occult background is a bit heavy though. I don't want it to go as it'll make for an interesting character but it still feels like it's almost the sum total of his existence until now, with a little of hos struggle against it coming through.

A slightly niggly thing on my part in terms of formatting: if you could space between paragraphs it would make it a little easier on the eyes/to read/follow.

Very nearly there. Maybe add a bit about his personality just so we can get a bit of a feel for him but otherwise I'd say we're good.