Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by Lmpkio
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@Crimson Raven Golem is where she should be I think as well.
Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by Sho Minazuki
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Back in the day Vega was the only edgelord with Golem being a masculine guild. Now Golem houses dark mages.

Hmmmm.
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Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by pkken
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This is gonna be very very entertaining, just chilling in the lobby.

Let alone our first group job.

@Savo

I feel as though Damien and Cyril's strong attraction towards beautiful women will establish a great friendship or fierce rivalry.
Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by Lord Sawsaw2
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Whew its done. Up for review.

So a word about my character here. Lots of her backstory is tied up with a different character of mine in another RP, so there are some answers to her questions there.

Lmpkio might know. hehe~

As for which guild, I’m not really sure. She could go either way. After reading it, which do you suggest?

Anyway, I feel like a took a few risks with these sheet. I’m open to any suggestions, anything you feel like needs changed.

So, without further adieu

*Snipped CS*


There are some serious changes that need to happen in the magic section of this character before it gets approved, she's incredibly overtuned at present, and either needs to scale back the utility by a large degree, or focus on it instead.

Starting at the top, with the problematic sections highlighted in red:

A powerful form of shadow magic, this magic turns the caster‘s very body into woven shadow. As long as she had magic and is conscious, physical attacks will pass right through her without harm. ((Noooooooo, no chance of this, or any long term effect of a similar nature without huge drawbacks. Karthus style ethereal casting is pretty much entirely off the table without a very obvious and very exploitable weakness)) The caster can teleport short and long distances by passing through shadows ((through a continuous shadow, or between patches of shadows?)), but the end destination tends to be slightly random and magic cost increases exponentially with distance. The caster can also pull things into their shadow and store them, similar to requip magic ((What's the limit to this? What happens to the items if you don't have a shadow?)). Both their shadow and body can be molded into nearly any shape and made substantial or insubstantial at will ((See previous statement)). The power of this magic is in its free-form use, allowing for a large degree of adaptability. As a Shadow magic, it also includes elements of Darkness magic (her’s is a dull slate color) and Shade magic, the caster can utilize some of both.

Shadow Body - More of a passive ability that turns her body into shadow, rendering physical attacks useless. It also allows her to change her body into any form she wishes. When in affect, her body becomes solid black and looses any humanistic features.

- See previous comments.

Erebus’ Shadow - A stronger Puppet that usually takes the form of a massive serpent. A resilient and dangerous foe.

- Shadow Puppets is fine, but this one needs to be better defined. How big? How long does it last? Is it linked to her in any way?

- For Fulminating Darkness, do the puppets do the casting, or does she turn them into shadow to attack with? Where does the magic come from?

The rest of your spells are fine, though could do with similar work as noted above on being more specific about how they work.

Apologies if this comes off as a harsh critique, but Lilith would be essentially unstoppable with the current cast. Only Vega would have even the slightest chance of actually beating her in a fight, and even then...
Hidden 7 yrs ago 7 yrs ago Post by Crimson Raven
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@Lord Sawsaw2

The body was the main gimmick...

You are familar with Juvia right? Its a shadow version of her water body.

I can’t really say much else about it, because canon doesn’t elaborate much on it.

But its clear that its not total invulnerability, magic can still harm her
Hidden 7 yrs ago 7 yrs ago Post by Lord Sawsaw2
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@Lord Sawsaw2

The body was the main gimmick...

You are familar with Juvia right? Its a shadow version of her water body.


Water can be interacted with though, which is what made her reasonably balanced. Shadows not so much, unless she's practically deathly allergic to light producing spells or something during the form.

Edit: It should be said that I would be exceedingly unlikely to pass Juvia as a character at all for a thread like this unless I was absolutely sure it wouldn't be abused. It works in the show because it all has to work out in the end for the plot to continue, but short of heavy-handing things as the Mod, I could do absolutely nothing to a Juvia character that they couldn't simply either ignore or flee from, without constantly harrowing them by throwing specifically targeted enemies at them.

My point is that what is 'balanced' in the Fairy Tail manga/anime does not translate to a balanced character for the purposes of PvP or running a story.
Hidden 7 yrs ago 7 yrs ago Post by Sho Minazuki
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What if sources of light affected it's effectiveness?

For example in a dark room, it's 100% effective, but anywhere out in broad daylight or even under moon or heavy starlight is enough to interfere (max 40% full moon, max 20% starlight on new moon), for example. With it virtually impossible under high noon directly below the sun or source of light.

This way he'll be able to use it, but he can't avoid everything completely without moving in normal circumstances.

If it needs more weaknesses, probably limit what he can do while phasing and choose between recovery time (delay after exiting the form) or startup time (delay before entering form).
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Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by Crimson Raven
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What if sources of light affected it's effectiveness?

For example in a dark room, it's 100% effective, but anywhere out in broad daylight or even under moon or heavy starlight is enough to interfere (max 40% full moon, max 20% starlight on new moon), for example. With it virtually impossible under high noon directly below the sun or source of light.

This way he'll be able to use it, but he can't avoid everything completely without moving in normal circumstances.

If it needs more weaknesses, probably limit what he can do while phasing and choose between recovery time (delay after exiting the form) or startup time (delay before entering form).


Sure, I like that idea. A scaling curve.

@Lord Sawsaw2 what do you think?




((What's the limit to this? What happens to the items if you don't have a shadow?)


A fair question

I imagine that the upper limit might be about the size of a medium sized person with a large pack. She might be able to fit a larger object, if the object in question is a solid piece.
Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by Lord Sawsaw2
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What if sources of light affected it's effectiveness?

For example in a dark room, it's 100% effective, but anywhere out in broad daylight or even under moon or heavy starlight is enough to interfere (max 40% full moon, max 20% starlight on new moon), for example. With it virtually impossible under high noon directly below the sun or source of light.

This way he'll be able to use it, but he can't avoid everything completely without moving in normal circumstances.

If it needs more weaknesses, probably limit what he can do while phasing and choose between recovery time (delay after exiting the form) or startup time (delay before entering form).


This could work with some deep restructuring, but the issue is that Lilith isn't bound by natural sources of light, since she can simply create her own dark spaces to fight in where she fights at 100% efficiency all the time anyway; anyone without a ready source of light goes back to having no chance of winning in a fight.

Time limits, form transformation effects, and in-form weaknesses are the only real ways to go towards making it balanced.
Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by Sho Minazuki
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Well not everyone without a ready source of light. If it's magic of any kind, Vega can cancel it out with brute force.

But yeah that'd a problem.

How about... It doesn't make them phase out completely? Meaning they'll be 50% solid, but it has the better application of being able to jump from shadow to shadow, sort of like from Aragami. You can be struck by most anything with 50% effectiveness and have high mobility in that form, although a clean hit will throw you out of it.
Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by Lord Sawsaw2
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Well not everyone without a ready source of light. If it's magic of any kind, Vega can cancel it out with brute force.

But yeah that'd a problem.

How about... It doesn't make them phase out completely? Meaning they'll be 50% solid, but it has the better application of being able to jump from shadow to shadow, sort of like from Aragami. You can be struck by most anything with 50% effectiveness and have high mobility in that form, although a clean hit will throw you out of it.


Sure, Vega could cut the magic apart, if darkness wasn't the absence of something, rather than necessarily its presence. If the spell just works by keeping light from entering its casting radius, Vega can't really cut away the magic without finding the edge of the bubble and attacking it there. And even then it's not really a corporeal thing that can be attacked...

Not that it would matter to Vega in the first place, since he'd be able to attack the body directly anyway since it's just made up of magic.
Hidden 7 yrs ago 7 yrs ago Post by Crimson Raven
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<Snipped quote by Sho Minazuki>

This could work with some deep restructuring, but the issue is that Lilith isn't bound by natural sources of light, since she can simply create her own dark spaces to fight in where she fights at 100% efficiency all the time anyway; anyone without a ready source of light goes back to having no chance of winning in a fight.

Time limits, form transformation effects, and in-form weaknesses are the only real ways to go towards making it balanced.


I see your point.

Time limit is easy, and someting I thought of but forgot to mention (and I see where my wording is misleading) She can’t stay insubstantial for more than a few seconds at a time after that, she becomes vulnerable, so continuous attacks (like say, a sword in her, or a drawn out blast) will eventually harm her, and can be fatal if she is forced to reform on them. (Ouch)

Following that train of thought, I can make it so once a part of her turns into shadow, that past is unable to do so again for 3-4 seconds (longer maybe?). A clever opponent might see this and take advantage, or a fast opponent might accidentally find this.

Another thing is that turning into shadow takes a modest amount of magic, which over time will really stack up, meaning that if she takes too many attacks, that alone could leave her nearly drained. Notice that without her magic, she is not that dangerous.

This is an inherent flaw, as any fight she might have would require her to burn through massive amouts of magic quickly. I don’t have any specific numbers in mind, but you can be sure that this will be reflected in how I write her.
Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by Lord Sawsaw2
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<Snipped quote by Lord Sawsaw2>

I see your point.

Time limit is easy, and someting I thought of but forgot to mention (and I see where my wording is misleading) She can’t stay insubstantial for more than a few seconds at a time after that, she becomes vulnerable, so continuous attacks (like say, a sword in her, or a drawn out blast) will eventually harm her, and can be fatal if she is forced to reform on them. (Ouch)

Following that train of thought, I can make it so once a part of her turns into shadow, that past is unable to do so again for 3-4 seconds (longer maybe?). A clever opponent might see this and take advantage, or a fast opponent might accidentally find this.

Another thing is that turning into shadow takes a modest amount of magic, which over time will really stack up, meaning that if she takes too many attacks, that alone could leave her nearly drained. Notice that without her magic, she is not that dangerous.

This is an inherent flaw, as any fight she might have would require her to burn through massive amouts of magic quickly. I don’t have any specific numbers in mind, but you can be sure that this will be reflected in how I write her.


This is 100% what I was going to end up angling for anyway, and is pretty much word for word what I would have wanted anyway.

Rewrite the set with those modifications for me if you would, and I'll see if there are any other changes that need to be made. Please don't forget the other points I raised in my first reply post.
Hidden 7 yrs ago 7 yrs ago Post by Crimson Raven
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I haven’t forgotten lol

Erebus’ Shadow - A stronger Puppet that usually takes the form of a massive serpent. A resilient and dangerous foe.

- Shadow Puppets is fine, but this one needs to be better defined. How big? How long does it last? Is it linked to her in any way?

- For Fulminating Darkness, do the puppets do the casting, or does she turn them into shadow to attack with? Where does the magic come from?


I should have been more detailed, sorry.

1. Erebus’ Shadow - lets make this one linked to her shadow (so she can only make one, and it cannot move far from her) Size, I’d say it varies with light, anywhere from twice the height of a person and about as big around as one, to four times that. It has very limited intelligence, but she can give it orders. However it’s difficult to control and requires constant attention to maintain, so no or few little puppets while it is active and she is limited to less powerful or complex spells. It will last about five minutes, and takes that long before she can use it again. Ten minutes if it gets destroyed somehow. As for durability, it can take most hits well, but a powerful spell will one hit KO.

Edit: No, wait, lets nix the time limit. That makes it impractical. It just requires a flow of magic to sustain

What this will do, is it turns it into a defensive spell, the serpent can protect her by interposing itself between attacks and her body, cover her back, while being able to strike out at opponents with a bite attack.

2. I imagined FD like Jose’s Dead Wave, except for her it’s obviously not as powerful, and it has her own spin on it. Notability, it would require two hands and longer to cast.

With this spell, the cost is two-fold, one she has to create Shadow Puppets to use, then two she has to use more magic to gather them into the attack.
Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by Lord Sawsaw2
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I haven’t forgotten lol

<Snipped quote by Lord Sawsaw2>

I should have been more detailed, sorry.

1. Erebus’ Shadow - lets make this one linked to her shadow (so she can only make one, and it cannot move far from her) Size, I’d say it varies with light, anywhere from twice the height of a person and about as big around as one, to four times that. It has very limited intelligence, but she can give it orders. However it’s difficult to control and requires constant attention to maintain, so no or few little puppets while it is active and she is limited to less powerful or complex spells. It will last about five minutes, and takes that long before she can use it again. Ten minutes if it gets destroyed somehow. As for durability, it can take most hits well, but a powerful spell will one hit KO.

Edit: No, wait, lets nix the time limit. That makes it impractical. It just requires a flow of magic to sustain

What this will do, is it turns it into a defensive spell, the serpent can protect her by interposing itself between attacks and her body, cover her back, while being able to strike out at opponents with a bite attack.

2. I imagined FD like Jose’s Dead Wave, except for her it’s obviously not as powerful, and it has her own spin on it. Notability, it would require two hands and longer to cast.

With this spell, the cost is two-fold, one she has to create Shadow Puppets to use, then two she has to use more magic to gather them into the attack.


Both of these are fine
Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by Sho Minazuki
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Things that make you say "christ how edgy".

Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by Lord Sawsaw2
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Things that make you say "christ how edgy".



This image hits me, so hard, makes me say 'oh my lord'.

*Illedrith holds up a mirror* "Can you see how ridiculous you look right now? Did you even choose this outfit yourself, or is it just what the inside of your head looks like?"
Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by Sho Minazuki
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You're just jealous because you don't get

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M A G I C
I M M U N I T Y
Hidden 7 yrs ago 7 yrs ago Post by Crimson Raven
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@Lord Sawsaw2

Changes made, please look over it once more.

Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by Squad 404
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I read the relationship thoughts of those who are updated. Quite interesting to see how some people think of Alexandria. A mutual dislike between Alexandria and Vega is also going to be a thing, from what I've seen.
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