Once she had opened up her emotions it was hard to stop it, the tears wouldn’t stop coming as she held onto Cas who was trying to soothe her through her sobs. Already her mind was racing from the fact she had tried to conceal it, the fact she wasn’t as strong as he may have thought she was to other thoughts how pathetic she must look right now and what an absolute mess she had to be. That she couldn’t handle being interrogated by the soldiers or being in a prison locked away for her crimes like she should be. It was all ridiculous thoughts but with all the pressure and emotional turmoil her mind was unforgiving making her truly believe she was not worth it. 

[color=f49ac2][i]I committed treason; how can you make that better?[/i][/color] Words she desperately wanted to ask him, but she couldn’t find the courage because neither of them would really like the answer to it. Death was the most common answer, but perhaps they would pardon her and allow her back into the districts as she had helped him home. It was funny, they had spent so much time on an adventure in the districts breaking him back into the Capital and now roles were reversed, she was the captive but she felt like their options for breaking her free were very limited. Security in the Capital was vastly different to the districts. 

Iris was calming down slowly, and she was trying to control her tremors, his gentle touch and kisses made her feel loved by him and of course gave her a brief feeling of joy. The way he brushed away her tear stained cheeks confirming to her just how much she meant to him prompted a slightly smile from her as she looked at him with puffy red eyes. [color=f49ac2]“I don’t think it will be that simple Cas.”[/color] As much as she wished it could all be over, that with a snap of his fingers everything would be normal, and they could just live some sort of life together, but that would never be possible. 

Reaching up with her pale hand she touched his cheek gently as her smile wavered on her face looking at Cas, [color=f49ac2]“You know the crimes I have against me. I’ll never be able to take back what I did to you and that’s something I have to live with.”[/color] Rubbing her fingers against his cheek she let her hand drop to her side before looking down at her lap, eyes downcast in shame. 

[color=f49ac2]“I love you Cas, but… I. I’m not strong enough to go through that again, the questions… the interrogation.”[/color] Already she could feel the tears well up in her eyes again as she tried not to remember the questioning, but the imprint it had left on her was hard to forget. [color=f49ac2]“I’d rather…"[/color] Hesitating before she said the next part. [color]=f49ac2] "I’d rather they just kill me already, let’s not pretend that’s not the punishment.” [/color] It was something that she had been thinking about, she had accepted the fact she was most likely to die. [color=f49ac2][i]What’s the point in me living anymore anyway?[/i][/color] Thoughts she didn’t dare to voice out loud to Cas.