Iris sighed to herself as Cas pointed out that she was more obvious than what she initially thought, something she knew she would have to work on especially as Cas was going through so much right now that he shouldn’t have to worry about her. Iris hated the idea of that, why add to his pile of troubles when she could feign ignorance and pretend like she was okay. If she willed it enough it would become true, it’s what her father used to do think on something so much that he truly believed it himself so if she started to believe that she was fine, then she would be fine. After all she had to be there for Cas. 

Even with him saying she wouldn’t be here forever she was finding it hard to believe that herself, she was going to end up spending a lot of time in this hotel room and already she began to dread what her days would look like hidden away in this suite. Today for instance she had just wasted it all watching the TV and she didn’t want to spend every day gawping at stupid programs that didn’t take her mind off of anything. [color=f49ac2][i]I’m being selfish, aren’t I? I should be thankful I have a roof over my head, not complaining about it all. Not whilst Cas is about to inherit a country and has far more important things to be worried about[/i][/color]. Fiddling with the sleeves of her clothing as she listened to him on the phone she tried not to sound disheartened at the fact that this wouldn’t just be over in a day.

It didn’t stop her from her original train of thought and for a split second she had nearly voiced it down the phone which would have only made things worse. That this was too much hassle than needed, that it would just be easier if she went back to the districts and went about her life without him. Things would have been so different if she had been born into any other family, maybe it would have been different if her mother hadn’t have died and her father wasn’t obsessed with bringing down the monarchy. Life would have been simple and a part of her wished it could be, maybe it was still an option for her if she left this hotel room. If she was caught she’d be thrown back in a cell and killed as his fathers orders of her would still stand until Cas could override them. [color=f49ac2][i]Would it be so bad? Cas would probably do so much better without me. What if I am holding him back?[/i][/color]

Smiling to herself as he returned the I love you she wasn’t prepared for how this call had gone. At first, she had thought it would just be nice to talk to him and that they could just talk random nonsense that would make one another happy. It hadn’t been the case though, instead she was left feeling more anxious and worried than before because nothing was set in stone on what would happen now. [color=f49ac2]“Of course I will, don’t party too hard without me okay? Sleep well…”[/color] It was easy to sound okay over the phone, but she was thankful he couldn’t see the look on her face as she knew it would only worry him. [color=f49ac2]“Well as long as you didn’t buy me anything fancy to eat, I’m sure I will be fine.”[/color] Making a bit of a joke at the end of it, her eating habits weren’t that great in general but she would try for him. 

As she said her goodbye over the phone, she ended the call only to hang her head as a sigh escaped her, the phone now held loosely in her hand as she took in the call. Iris knew it wouldn’t be forever, but she doubted she would be able to keep herself sane here being left to her own thoughts. Moving off of the sofa she moved to the kitchen to return the phone back to its stand as she walked into the room she ran her fingers across the smooth marble worktops in her suite already on edge. Nothing seemed to go right for them and she knew it had to be a sign that maybe they should quit whilst they were ahead.