Warning: This deals with serious topics such as depression and suicide.
This is going to be everywhere, but I’ll organize it the best I can. I guess this short piece of writing is a vent, but... I don't think it's a conventional vent.
I used to want to kill myself. I used to wish that I'd fall asleep and never wake up. I wanted to die because I was in so much pain that I felt stuck in an endless cycle of complete misery. Even now, I'm still severely depressed but I refuse to die at my own hand. Why I have suddenly stopped wanting to commit suicide even though my situation hasn't changed much is beyond me. I think it just clicked and I finally found my will to live.
Even if I’m in agony, I won’t do it. I’ve promised myself that I won’t end my own life because I understand how painful that is to others. I understand how it can hurt people. I understand what it can do. The very last thing I want is to truly hurt those that I care about so much. Suicide won’t end my pain, instead, it’ll transfer to others like a disease. That won’t fix anything. So I’ve got to keep going and I’m not going to lie, it’s going to be hard, but it’ll pay off.
I’ll struggle, I’ll probably struggle a lot, but it’ll be part of the process. I want to recover from the diseases that have enveloped my mind over the past few years. I know that all I really want is a way out. I want to feel truly happy again. I want relief. I know it’ll be a long road ahead and recovery won’t be instant, but if I can be cured then I’m going to take that chance. If I can’t help myself, then I’ll help others. Maybe I’ll learn how to heal that way. Maybe it’ll help.
My will to continue living may sound cheesy and pretentious but it's my love and compassion for those who cared about me when I hated myself. I know that I'm not a waste of time and space because of them. They helped open my eyes and helped me breathe when I was drowning in my depression and self-loathing. They gave me a reason to keep going. I want to thank them because without them I'd probably be dead. If no one cared then I am certain that I would've committed suicide.
If you are suicidal, seek help from a professional or call a suicide prevention hotline. Someone out there cares about you.
This is going to be everywhere, but I’ll organize it the best I can. I guess this short piece of writing is a vent, but... I don't think it's a conventional vent.
I think I’m going to be okay.
I used to want to kill myself. I used to wish that I'd fall asleep and never wake up. I wanted to die because I was in so much pain that I felt stuck in an endless cycle of complete misery. Even now, I'm still severely depressed but I refuse to die at my own hand. Why I have suddenly stopped wanting to commit suicide even though my situation hasn't changed much is beyond me. I think it just clicked and I finally found my will to live.
Even if I’m in agony, I won’t do it. I’ve promised myself that I won’t end my own life because I understand how painful that is to others. I understand how it can hurt people. I understand what it can do. The very last thing I want is to truly hurt those that I care about so much. Suicide won’t end my pain, instead, it’ll transfer to others like a disease. That won’t fix anything. So I’ve got to keep going and I’m not going to lie, it’s going to be hard, but it’ll pay off.
I’ll struggle, I’ll probably struggle a lot, but it’ll be part of the process. I want to recover from the diseases that have enveloped my mind over the past few years. I know that all I really want is a way out. I want to feel truly happy again. I want relief. I know it’ll be a long road ahead and recovery won’t be instant, but if I can be cured then I’m going to take that chance. If I can’t help myself, then I’ll help others. Maybe I’ll learn how to heal that way. Maybe it’ll help.
My will to continue living may sound cheesy and pretentious but it's my love and compassion for those who cared about me when I hated myself. I know that I'm not a waste of time and space because of them. They helped open my eyes and helped me breathe when I was drowning in my depression and self-loathing. They gave me a reason to keep going. I want to thank them because without them I'd probably be dead. If no one cared then I am certain that I would've committed suicide.
You’ve got to keep fighting. If you do, I know you’ll get rid of it. You’ll triumph over this malady. It’s not an impossible task.
Stick to this, please. You’ve still got a life to live and a story to tell. You can and will win this battle.
Don’t give up on yourself, because someone out there believes in you.
Your pain will end, you're going to be okay.
If you are suicidal, seek help from a professional or call a suicide prevention hotline. Someone out there cares about you.
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