My joy of being reunited with Emmaline could not be sundered by just physical pain. If I'm wounded, I know from experience that I'll end up getting hurt by her overeager nature, and despite myself I would not have it any other way. But to hear of this latest news caused a great anger to swell in me. I did not shout or balk after the first exclamation, but I closed my lips tightly and breathed through my nostrils as I attempted to keep a semblance of calm. Unfortunately, the two women could tell a mood shift had taken place. 

"Hadrian..." Emmaline started, but I did not rise to answer her. 

"Told you he wouldn't like it," Clara remarked to Emmaline. 

"Clara?" I said. 

"Yes sir?" 

"Get out." 

She started to open her mouth, but I looked at her. The guard captain moved so quickly, for a moment I thought I had inadvertently used my will. She was out of the office and closing the door behind us in the span of a second. It left the two of us in a silence that was more tension filled than awkward. I grabbed the small cane Lazarus had set upon my lap and tried to rise. 

"Hadrian, don't. Let m-" Emmaline started, stepping forward to decide whether to help me up or to keep me in my seat. I'll never forget that moment. Not because it had any lasting effects, but it was the first time we had been at odds. 

"Don't touch me." I ordered. She drew back, biting her full lip as the words fell into the air like a box of knives. She watched as I unsteadily got to my feet. It was only by my stubbornness and the mental discipline I had beaten into me by Kronus that I was able to stand at all. One hand on my cane and my legs frozen for a moment, I wondered for the briefest if this was how the old bookkeeper Pavern felt back on Pacitus. Frail and unsteady. I loathed it. But at the moment I was too consumed by another scenario. 

"What book did you use to raise him?" I asked plainly, affording no distractions. "There had to be some work you used. What was it?" 

"Libracate Obscurus," she said after a moment's hesitation, her voice almost a whisper. I could see guilt warring with a myriad of other emotions on her. Shame, worry, frustration, perhaps even anger. But guilt most of all. I decided I couldn't look, else I would forgive her then and there. I would forgive her regardless, really. But I could not forget. So I stepped my cane forward, making my way over to the desk of the office, facing the wall as if I looked out over a window when one was simply not present. 

"My words before I was shot. I meant them. I still mean them." I breathed in deeply, wanting to choose my words carefully. Throne, the woman meant more to me than anything, but I could not hide my disapproval. It was too reckless, and it would be disrespectful of her skills to coddle her. "If what Lazarus told me were true, you showed initiative and leadership, and you should be proud of that." Shaking my head, I sighed. "But if you ever utilize such arcane practices again... I can't promise I can protect you." 

"I don't need protection," she said, perhaps a bit tartly. She was twisting the meaning of my words into their most basic function, and she damn well knew it.  

"When we decided to pursue our relationship, we promised we would do what we could to remain in the fold whilst doing so. If you had been shot, I don't know what I would have done. But it would be your job to tell me exactly what I am telling you now, if that had happened. If I had gone too far." I said, turning to her. I nearly fell, but stubbornly I kept myself upright, only a slight wobble of the cane showing the wave of vertigo threatening to totter me. "I cannot have any member of my team doing such things, no matter what happens. Kronus fought and survived traitor astartes in his time, and yet he was killed by a single bullet, almost as I was. We do not know what will happen tomorrow-" I started, but before I could finalize my point, my body finally gave way. I let go of the cane and hit the desk, elbow and arm pressed against it desperately as my legs threatened to collapse. This time Emmaline did help me, and this time I did not try and stop her. Her embrace and worry was warm, but I would not relent. 

"Promise me you won't do it again, no matter the cost." I said, pushing myself back up with her help. She was stronger than she looked, but I was still half again her weight and it took the both of us to get started on escorting my broken form back to my chair. There were those that already whispered I was far too lenient as a monodominate, that I disgraced Inquisitor Kronus' legacy. That thought, along with my feelings for Emmaline twisted a knot of emotions in me that were almost too much to bear. "Please, Emma..."