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[url=https://www.roleplayerguild.com/posts/5509391][img]https://i.imgur.com/Q5BATrT.jpeg[/img]
[/url][/CENTER][indent][sub][COLOR=#ff7514][B]Location:[/B][/COLOR] [I]Dundas Island, Pacific Ocean[/I] - [I]Pacific Royal Campus[/I][/sub][sup][right][COLOR=#ff7514][b]Welcome Home #1.096:[/b][/COLOR] [I]Doubts[/I][/right][/sup][/indent][COLOR=#AC0D01][SUP][sub]____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________[/sub][/SUP][/COLOR][INDENT][sub][color=#ff7514][B]Interaction(s):[/B][/COLOR] [I]N/A[/I][/sub][SUP][RIGHT][COLOR=2c2c2c][b]Previously:[/b][/COLOR] [color=2c2c2c][I]Daily Protein Intake[/I][/color][/right][/SUP]
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In hindsight she should have taken a bigger piece of cake. Katja had intended for it to last at least until she made her way towards the showers, but it was already gone before she arrived at her tent. She realized that she was one of the first people to leave the dining area, so that meant there wouldn’t be any lines at the showers! She quickly grabbed her shower supplies and some fresh clothes before making her way over to the shower unit.

As expected, the units were practically abandoned when she arrived. Katja put her fresh clothes down on a bench facing the shower cubicle she was planning to use. She figured that she didn’t have to store them in any secure locker, since no one was gonna be able to fit in her clothes anyway. At least, not without looking like they were wearing a tent.

Stepping into the cubicle anticipating a nice relaxing shower, Katja felt a sense of disappointment as she was met with the sight of a fixed shower head… At eye level. She made an involuntary groan at the sight of the offending object. Couldn’t one moment go off without a hitch today?

Pressing the button, the South African was greeted with an invigorating surge of cold water. There was no room to stand to the side and wait for the water to warm gradually, not for her at least. And besides, cold showers were better for you anyway. So she took the initial blast of frigid cold against her torso in stride.

As the water gradually warmed to a more inviting temperature, Katja finally began to clean herself in earnest. Stooping slightly to accommodate for the height of the shower head, she welcomed the comforting embrace of the warm water cascading over her face. Going through the motions, her mind began to wander. Several different thoughts crossed her mind, some were just mundane and fleeting. Others though, they managed to cling on tight.

The one that kept coming back was Rory. There was the look of disappointment on his face as she completely fumbled the situation, of course. But that memory was quickly replaced by the one where she held him tightly in her arms. She had been tempted to go in for a kiss at that moment. Perhaps she should have. But then she thought about how he had talked about Haven. She recalled how cute they looked on the beach the day before. Her lips curled up into a sad smirk at that recollection. 

No, perhaps it was better this way. 

After soaping up, Katja let the water cleanse her of the dirt of a hard day’s work. The rivulets traced the contours of her impressive musculature, the water leaving a sheen on her skin as it purified her. She felt a tingling sensation as the water pressure was massaging her tired, aching muscles.

She’d get her revenge on Banjo for today. One way or another.

Thinking about that made her think about the conversation she’d had with Banjo and how he had joked about her supposed feelings for a certain raven-haired teammate. Just recalling that reddened her cheeks. And while she might want to blame it on the steam surrounding her, Katja knew that she’d only be fooling herself if she did.

She wanted to chalk it up to Banjo being Banjo and looking for an excuse to get under her skin. But then she remembered that Rory had basically implied the same thing, right before his slip of the tongue.

Was it really that obvious to everyone else? Was she so oblivious to her own feelings that she didn’t see what others clearly saw? No, no that wasn’t it.

She knew what she felt. She felt many, many things when she was close to Amma. First and foremost was respect. Respect for her strength. In power, yes, but especially strength in character. There was a sense of a challenge too, to crack her shell, break through those walls she had raised around her person to isolate herself from the outside world. And if there was one thing Katja was good at, it was breaking through walls. If she couldn’t do it in one try, she’d wear them down, but through them she’d go!

Katja pressed her back against one of the cubicle walls, almost thoughtlessly sliding to the floor as she explored her feelings further.

There was more to it though. She knew that.

There was a deep sense of longing. She always felt it when she caught a glimpse of those locks of jet black hair, that intricate ink work on a delicate and pale canvas. Often accentuated by glimmers of red and silver, always playfully dancing around her. And then there was the look she had in those piercing blue eyes of hers. It was hard to look away from them, yet if she stared too long she felt like she was drowning. There was a feralness to those eyes that could make most feel like they were being sized up by a predatory animal. But not to her. No, she saw it as a challenge. One that she would gladly meet.

But there was one more feeling, one that overshadowed all others, and that was insecurity. 

It felt like Amma was a sun, radiant and powerful, while Katja was a planet stuck in her orbit, unable to break free, yet also unable to get closer. Stuck forever in this endless loop. It was the closest analogy she could ever think of to describe the situation of the past year. Katja wanted to be her friend, she had wanted to be one from the moment she first spoke to her. No, not just a friend. She lied to herself if she thought that. She wanted to be more than that. But, as she had told Rory before, she really didn’t know where she stood with Amma. Did Amma even enjoy her presence? Or was she just an annoying, lumbering giant who she only rarely tossed a bone to get rid of her?

Katja looked up. The shower had ceased working God knows how long ago and she could hear voices coming from the other side of the cubicle door. More people had started flocking in to get a shower before heading to their tents. Getting up from the floor, she started drying herself off. The softness of the fluffy towels was a nice contrast to the hard surfaces she had been leaning against. 

She opened the door after wrapping the towels around her. Just as she predicted, her clothes lay there untouched. Whether this was due to the innate trust people had at PRCU or because they were just too big for anyone but her didn’t matter. Katja took a little longer putting her clothes on than she usually would. The idea that Amma was in the tent, perhaps awaiting her arrival, stirred a feeling of trepidation within her. 

Katja made her way back over to their tent with the same sense of both eagerness and anxiety. She walked around in an oversized shirt (yes, they make them in that size) and had one of her towels wrapped around her waist. She opened the front flap of the tent with some nervousness. She half expected her tattooed tentmate to sit inside, isolating herself from the rest of the group as she sometimes did. She was however met with an empty tent, completely untouched after she had left for the showers.

After putting her dirty clothes in a plastic bag, storing it in the corner, and hanging the towels outside to dry, Katja sat down on her sleeping cot with a sigh. Whether it was one of relief or disappointment, she did not know. Not wanting to dwell on it for too long, she decided that the best way to distract herself would be to listen to some of her music. Putting her earphones in and turning the volume up, her mind became too overwhelmed by the loud noise to concern itself with other matters. Katja smiled to herself, satisfied with this internal peace of mind as she pulled her legs up on the sleeping cot, closing her eyes and resting her head on her knees as it slowly bopped in tune with the beat.


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