Her first mistake had been dropping her heartblade. When she saw Eclair fall (and that had to be Eclair, there weren’t [i]that[/i] many purple haired maids, right?), she had tried to rush to her. Her second mistake had been not paying attention to what was in front of her feet. She thought all the firecrackers had gone off! They were all the same length, all the same design, why wouldn’t they all have gone off together?! Her third mistake was thinking she could explain herself and anybody would listen. 

No, no, her first mistake had been jumping into the crowd. She was safe and had a little team and she’d left them. For what? So she could run hopelessly into a mob trying to catch Keli and Seli for god sakes?! She’d left her team behind. 

No, no that was her second mistake because she’d done the same with Sulochana. Granted, she’d left Sulochana before she knew a riot was going to break out, but she’d still left her when something important was happening instead of staying with her! That had been stupid. Stupid, bad friend Yuki. Jumping off after whatever was happening. 

No, no that still wasn’t her first mistake. Her first mistake had been sending Hazel off to enjoy the festival. She shouldn’t have split up with him! He was new to Thellamie. They should have stayed together, he could have come with her, or she could have explained to her other friends she needed to show him around first instead of sending him off to fend for himself. 

Her fault. All of them her fault. One after another. Hazel gone and in danger. Sulochana stabbed. Juni abandoned (probably stabbed too? Who knows, not Yuki, that’s for sure!!!). And she couldn’t even help Eclair, the latest in her haring off after the latest acquaintance. Stupid, stupid, stupid. 

She pounds a fist on the floor weakly, barely enough to make a sound, not enough to even alert the Nagi guard on top of her that she was moving. 

Yuki hated being alone. It happened, obviously, but she hated it. She’d just run through all her memories over and over. Mistakes she had made. Occasionally fond memories. Maybe something that tasted good, or something fun she had done. But then she’d just miss it all the more. She remembered Thellamie so, so fondly. Sure everyone had been worried, but they’d worked together and saved it and it had been so wonderful. She never really appreciated the danger last time. How could she, cloaked in light and surrounded by people helping her. Even Seli’s betrayal was okay, things had worked out, nobody had really hurt her. Not really, though Azaza had wanted to, hadn’t she? God she’d never really thought about it like that? Had dumb had she been as a kid? How blind? 

She just wanted to come back and see all her friends again. Hang out in person. Try the good food, listen to music, see the world. Was that seriously too much to ask? Were people only summoned to Thellamie for super special emergencies? Why had she even been brought back then?!

When Sulochana arrives, she’ll find Yuki with her face against the floor. There is a small dark spot on the stone, and when she lifts her eyes, they are wet with silent tears. 

[Yuki is Guilty]