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[/i][/INDENT][/INDENT][CENTER][COLOR=04cf3a][sup]________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________[/sup][/COLOR][img]https://i.imgur.com/QXDwaZX.jpeg[/img] [/CENTER][indent][sub][COLOR=04cf3a][B]Location:[/B][/COLOR] [I]Canis Dorms, P.R.C.U. Campus[/I][/sub][sup][right][COLOR=04cf3a][b]Dance Monkey #4.030:[/b][/COLOR] [color=white][I][b]I Don't Think I Can Fight This[/b][/I][/color][/right][/sup][/indent][COLOR=04cf3a][SUP][sub]____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________[/sub][/SUP][/COLOR][INDENT][sub][color=04cf3a][B]Interaction(s):[/B][/COLOR] [I]The Bros[/I][/sub][SUP][RIGHT][COLOR=04cf3a][b]Previously:[/b][/COLOR] [url=https://www.roleplayerguild.com/posts/5546560][I]I Confess, I Messed Up[/I][/url][/right][/SUP]

[INDENT]
Rory slammed his laptop lid closed, rubbing his temples. He had specifically scheduled his classes so he wouldn't have to work on Fridays. Unfortunately, "my friend's keep nearly dying" wasn't a good enough excuse to delay essays more than a day and the last thing he needed was another reason for Jim and the faculty to be disappointed in him. He glanced about the room, sighing as he felt small whirlwinds circle his stomach. The room felt empty when he was the only one in it, in a way it never did before. He picked at the dirty clothes strewn around the hamper, tossing back in the accumulated laundry of two people. He lifted up the hamper, hoisting it out to the laundry machine.

While the clothes washed, Rory plopped onto the couch in the living room. His eyes darted towards Lorcán's door, that empty feeling weighing even heavier over him. Rory had never visited him in the hospital. He had went to visit Gil, but couldn't bring himself to walk in. From what the others said, odds were Gil would have just told him to fuck off if he had. It didn't make Rory feel like any less of a bad friend, though.

Rory felt his phone buzz on the couch next to him, and he picked it up while sprawled himself out. The smile formed on his lips before he even fully processed who it was from or what it was. A very cropped picture of a bit of green fabric, a sneak peek at what Haven was wearing to the dance. He reacted to the image with a heart, before locking his phone and tossing it on the ground next to him. The warmth he felt from her text barely quelled the rising currents in his chest. If anything, the storm raged harder.

Why was he able to step up for Haven, but not his best friends?

There was an easy answer to that.

Rory curled up on the couch, his skin feeling too tight and restricting on his body. Some deeper, animal part of him wanted to rip apart the flesh to let the emotions and spirit of him fly free. His breathing was shallow and quick, and he had to clench his hands into fists to maintain some grounded physical sensation.

He should have visited Gil, even if he was going to be an ass about it. He should have seen Lorcán before he was discharged, and made sure Aurora was ok. He should have closed and locked the window the night Haven was kidnapped. He should have pieced together that something was wrong with Katja sooner. He should have felt more sympathy for Amma. He should have tried to find Harper before the Trials scarred her. He should have checked in on Harper to make sure she was ok. He should have checked in on Banjo and Calliope. He should have been the one that was taken. He should have been the one who was attacked in the Trials. He was the one who should have been nearly killed. Why hadn't it killed him? Why did they want him? He was a bad friend. He was a bad teammate. He was a bad leader. He was nothing. He was nothing. [sub]He was nothing [sub]nothing [sub]nothing [sub]nothing [/sub][/sub][/sub][/sub]

Rory shook in a heap on the living room floor for what felt like hours. A soft buzzing from the phone a few feet from him roused him from the spiral. He clenched his hands into tight fists, digging his nails into his palms and counting down from ten to slowly bring him back to Earth. He wiped the tears from his eyes before reaching for his phone, checking the notification on his lock screen. He hated that his heart sank when he saw it wasn't from Haven.

[quote=Gil][color=FCE205][i][b]I'm picking up booze on the way over. Little bit of everything. 

We're letting loose tonight.[/b][/i][/color][/quote]
It took him a minute to process the message, before just closing his phone and setting it back down. He lifted himself up into a sitting position, back leaned against the couch. Gil knew that he didn't drink, and neither did Lorcán. But as Rory felt the colossal weight of his failures bear down on him, the purpose of his sobriety felt meaningless. Everyone knew he was an idiot, everyone knew he made bad decisions and said the wrong thing. At this point, who was he trying to fool?

Rory slowly picked up his phone, sighing as he lifted it up and sent a message to the guys.

[quote=Rory][i][color=04cf3a]“Gotta celebrate you two being back and recovered!!!”[/color][/i][/quote]
A soft, sad smile formed on his lips. It wouldn't make up for much, but it was a start. In the meantime... he was going to need to get back into therapy. He shot off a quick email to his aunt, checking her schedule to see when they could next meet. Once that was settled, he leaned his head back against the couch. He took a deep breath. If they were mad at him, they would say something that night. Until then, he had to get ready. Clothes first, then he'd find the party hats and streamers that were somewhere in the shared storage.

Rory slowly pushied himself up to his feet. He swiped back into his text conversation with Haven, getting a good look at the shade of green. He shuffled back into his room, laying down on the ground and pushing around a bunch of balls, sporting equipment, dirty socks, and power bar wrappers until he felt his hand rest against a handle. He pulled out the old, small briefcase and hoisted it onto his bed. He stared at it a moment, not caring to look at the engraving on the side before unlatching and opening it. Inside was some old H.E.L.P. stationary, an old thermos, and a small assortment of neatly rolled up neckties. They were of varying shades and designs, though none were outlandish or novelty. The briefcase was one of the few things Rory kept of his father, unable to bring himself to toss it.

Rory pulled out his phone, checking the two green ties to Haven's choice of dress. He finally settled on the closest match, a simple green tie with gold diagonal stripes. He removed it from the briefcase, setting it down on the bed, before a small reflective glint caught the corner of his eye. Nestled in the briefcase, among the varying ties and assorted office supplies, was a gold tie clip. He lifted it up, running his hand along the engraving. It wasn't anything much, just four engraved letters. He set it on the bed next to the selected tie.

After all, he could use all the H.E.L.P. he could get.

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