[h2]Esme[/h2]
 Esme vaguely heard Dean’s words when he spoke to her as she stood there trying to collect herself. “I know we will.” she mumbled against his chest. She knew they would find him. She felt it. It was how they would find him that terrified her more than anything, making her feel like a scared child. When Dean pulled her into his arms and pressed her forehead against his chest, she dropped her staff and wrapped her arms around him, sighing heavily. Her mind briefly drifted to when he would hold her like this when she was emotionally unstable, and just like then, even with his own emotions unstable, helped her pull herself together a bit. When she felt his grip on her loosen, she loosened her own and looked up at him as Dean placed his hands on her cheeks and whispered. “I will.” she whispered back, closing her eyes as he kissed her forehead with a sigh. Esme reluctantly let go of Dean as he stepped away from her. With a sniffle, she picked up her staff, turned to face Duke’s truck, and walked to its bed. Sighing heavily, she pulled down the tailgate and grabbed her duffle. 

After unzipping her duffle, she collapsed her staff, made sure it was locked in place, and then placed it in her bag. As she stood there, Esme went over a checklist she had on her head on what she would need for this. She had everything she needed but ended up grabbing an extra knife out of her bag and tucked it into an inside pocket of her jacket. Zipping up her duffle and shoving it back, she closed the tailgate, turned around, and leaned against it as she waited for the others. She watched as they gathered themselves and what needed to go into this. Her gaze stopped on Natalia sitting in the Impala. Esme hoped she would be alright with that head injury while they went in to find the others. She didn’t look good at all. She hoped she would listen to Dean, Sam, and Mika and stay put until they returned. Her gaze then wandered to the barn as she absent-mindedly played with the charms on her necklace, rolling them between her fingers. A nervous habit she had never been able to break. “I know you’re in there. I can feel it.” she whispered to herself. 


[h3]A little later[/h3]
Esme followed Dean down the hill to the barn closely, but not too closely. He had asked her to stay close, so that was precisely what she would do. She had her knife in hand, unconsciously white-knuckling it at how tightly she gripped it. Her movements almost mirrored his, primarily out of muscle memory from all those years ago hunting together. At this moment, her body was just going through the motions while her mind was focused on getting into the barn and finding Duke, Anna, and Cason. Her main focus being Duke, knowing his injury. With her back pressed against the barn, she watched Dean assess the situation, giving a nod of acknowledgment when he held up two fingers to the group. Of course, there would be at least two posted out front, possibly waiting for the group to show up, and possibly more waiting in the wings for a possible trap. Esme waited for Dean to make his move, then moved around him, preparing to take on any demon that came out of the woodwork. By the time she moved around Dean, he had taken out the demon and was moving toward the other, but he smoked out. 

[i]Cowered, messenger, or both?[/i] She thought to herself moments before Dean made his own explanation. “Right. Neither do I.” she replied. Esme hesitated to move with Dean toward the barn door. She wasn’t ready to see what lay behind that door. It wasn’t until the door was open and she heard Anna call out Duke’s name that she moved. Then she saw Dean’s knowing look, causing horror to grip her heart tightly. As she ran to the door, she saw Dean reach out to stop her and heard him tell her to stop and let him go in first. She couldn’t stop. Not after seeing that look in Dean’s eyes. She blew right past Dean, dodging his arms and running into the barn. She stopped long enough to look around and see Anna and Cason against the far wall of the barn. She was relieved to see her alive, but Cason didn’t look so good. Her eyes soon fell on Duke’s bloody hat, and her stomach knotted in worry. “Duke!” she called out to him. Then she saw him. He was in a dimly lit corner with his back to them. She couldn’t tell if he was breathing or not. 

“Duke!!” Esme nearly screamed his name as she ran over to him, sliding to a stop on the straw beside him. Her knife fell from her hand as she dropped hard to her knees at Duke’s side. Reaching out, she rolled him over on his back with careful hands, her breath catching in her throat as soon as she saw his pale face and bleeding stomach. He didn’t look good, not good at all, but he was still breathing. “Duke? I’m here. We’re all here. Can you hear me?” she said to him, fear gripping her tone as she tore off her jacket and threw it to the side. Then, she tore off one of her shirts, placed it on his bleeding stomach, and pulled his head into her lap. Tears welled up in her fear-filled eyes as she cradled his head in her lap. “Duke, open your eyes, please. Please…. Duke…. Open your eyes.” she cried, brushing his hair and straw from his pale face. Esme leaned forward, placing her forehead against Duke’s, unable to control the tears now streaming down her cheeks. “I can’t…. Lose you. Not after I just got you back. Stay with me, Bright Eyes.” 

“I love you, Duke.” she breathed shakily. She couldn’t shake the feeling that this could be the last time she could tell him, especially with the state he was in. She sniffled and pressed a kiss to Duke’s head, praying for him to open his eyes and say something, anything. She’d even be happy with a little joke. Lifting her head from his, Esme looked down into Duke’s face as she stroked his cheek with her thumb. She felt utterly helpless. She was losing him, and there was nothing she could do about it. Fear and rage bubbled within her gut at the thought of losing Duke and not having the means to prevent it. Even with calling Bobby for help or taking him to the hospital, she knew, in the back of her mind, his chances of survival were slim with the severity of his wound. Even being someone with unique abilities, she could do nothing but ease his pain and keep his mind calm. Yes, it was something, but it wasn’t enough to save his life and keep him with her. Sniffling once more, she leaned down and placed a gentle kiss on his lips. “I love you, Bright Eyes.” she mumbled against his lips and kissed him once more.