[center][h3][color=C0392B]Rudolf Sagramore[/color][/h3][/center]

And yet... as one found her light, another fearfully snuffed it.

Rudolf remained quiet, mouth shut and ears open even as he forced the barking dog at the base of his skull down, below thought once more. It was all he could have done not to turn and swing his massive blade into the phantom sensation that was leaning over his shoulder as its words dripped through his head— and of course, still cut nothing in the process. By the time Esben spoke up, its piece was said.

Now knowing the realigned state of affairs, with the terms of the contract enforced as they were... he got the sickening feeling the silence was in part by his passenger's choice. After all, his own mind did plenty of talking. And where all eyes had turned to put Ciradyl under the microscope... his gaze in turn was flickering between the rest. Judging. Reading. Extrapolating. Worrying, worrying, worrying, as the monster named "Fear" began to sink in its claws.

[color=#736AFF][b]"Explain yourself. Now."[/b][/color]

He flinched.

He knew that tone. That expression. Five years ago, he had seen the [i]same face[/i] as his life fell apart. It really was no coincidence that he'd gleaned some inkling of kinship with the Faye. This... was about to be the same moment. They were the same fool, purging everything until they accomplished their single, overriding goal...

Save for a key difference. Something the spirit had missed. Maybe neglected to say... or maybe, it had meant to lead him here, keeping him in check with reality.

He followed the SEED's rundown of her actions as they came to light, noting the repartee between him and Izayoi as the details regarding the "who" and "how" and "why" were discussed. A pretty thorough report, all things considered. Poisonings, deals cut that moved rivals out of the way, even planting information against fellow conspirators... each step had a cold, cruel logic justifying it, one that panged with all too much familiarity in retrospect. Calculated moves made on a chessboard the scale of a wartorn nation, each piece sacrificed opening up more material. 

The zero-sum game of politics, in its own way, was far more brutal than the field... to think he had once trained for this. To think he could imagine and hear the same notes of approval from his own mentors that Esben and Izayoi, even Hien, were now showing... Would it not be the case that, had Edren and Osprey's situations been reversed, he might have needed to do the same?

[color=b3ccff]"...for nothing more than their own egos, not for any worthwhile reason."[/color]

... No.

[color=b3ccff]"Any others in these pages that might have attempted a rescue were likely too incompetent to meet with any success in the effort [i]or[/i] to try and use the death to their advantage when they inevitably failed."[/color]

That was right.

The others were stepping forward to speak in her defense... because her victims were all, as detailed, shortsighted fools. Incompetents to a man, chasing immediate pride instead of looking at the bigger picture. Slaves to their desperation to carve out a new standing for themselves... only unable to do so without barreling directly into ruin, the others attached to them be damned. She was, even with all of it said and done, working towards the ends of her people, not herself. That was the difference. The framing had been all wrong until now.

She had dealt with millions of devils to save millions more of Osprey's people.

He had forged a contract with one, just to save his own pride.

He was of [i]their[/i] ilk, not hers.

He felt something cold in his palm. He glanced down. A tiny point of black... the same that he had once allowed to blossom into a billowing fireball, moments before he hurled it into—

With grit teeth, he clenched his fist and snuffed it.

[color=c0392b]"We carry the results of what we do regardless."[/color] he finally spoke up, tonelessly meeting her eyes with a tense, possibly pained expression. [color=c0392b]"Corporal punishment would only belabor the point, given you've already shriven clean so much for your broader cause. It's the nature of sacrifice that none of it returns." [/color]

In warfare, you never come out unmarred. Even if you were never struck by anything beyond the wind, battle and war exact their toll.

These were the first things he had been taught, when he could finally hold a blade in his hands.

Metal rubbing against leather sounded, as he slowly drew the bone-hilted knife on his belt into his palm, staring into the steel.

Barely caught an eye in the reflection, along with the red stains of blood on his white hair. It warped as he shifted it in his grip.

Never the same, once steel and blood fly. 

[color=c0392b]"In your case, you count the lives of the people detailed here among those sacrifices, people you didn't make aware you were an enemy. It's not for nothing that you feel guilt. However noble the cause, death is likely one of the more tender mercies Valheim has to offer to the people who were in your way or theirs. And there's certainly no 'honor' to take refuge in with your methodology. That's for strong folk, who can settle it all face-to-face, man-to-man. When we sacrifice it, it's just knowing what bargains you've made. What [i]result[/i] our price is."[/color]

At what point would it be judged that incompetence merited death? While he conflated war and politics like this, what difference was there to make of being outmaneuvered in either theatre? Were he in their shoes, he certainly couldn't forsee any move he made working out before being picked off. Even now, the lot of them, these Kirins, were wary that [i]he[/i] might poise a danger to their cause in much the same vein.

Had he moved too soon? Been too blind? Maybe so. 

These people were willing to accept her, given those factors. Even Miina was stroking her head, like offering comfort to a beaten dog.

He had to admit that an unvoiced part of him, most of him really, even agreed. Given the hand she was dealt, Ciradyl had played it about as well as she could have— and those that had fallen victim certainly did seem to be, with the backing opinions of the two Ospreyan veterans present, those that would have been lost quickly [i]without[/i] the knives in their back along the way. Could you not call that much a wash? Sure.

But much like Arton... there was a [i]less[/i] ruthlessly logical part of him in there as well. One that looked upon an ostensible ally, and was being told that the totality of her war extended even to volatile assets on her side.

[color=c0392b]"It's something we'll always know, no matter what. That much is plenty of punishment, for people like you and me."[/color]

And was being told by everyone else that their hearts lied in accordance with that calculus. That if this happened again, even if Ciradyl no longer had the heart to step on another's back (and he believed this was true), the ones that were going to drag the team down were going to be excised. [color=lightblue]Dealt with.[/color] Maybe not handed over, but by no means offered any quarter.

If he was like those men and women she betrayed to save the nation, then...

He returned the dagger to its place at his side.

[color=c0392b]"It's just a matter of what comes next. One way or another, we keep waking up, life keeps going, day after day, second by second. If you do nothing with the blood on your hands, it'll seep into your soul and turn to rust. We have to see our battles through."[/color]