[h1][center][img]https://fontmeme.com/permalink/231021/c8de3d4938a7934e3807d1d1d63ce88c.png[/img][color=#b3ccff] And
Esben Mathiassen[/color][/center][/h1]
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Before too much more of the night had passed them by, the party had finished their roundabout discussions, those who’d been unable to force any food down before assaulting the mansion enjoying a small supper before they all retired from the meeting. Most paid at least a quick visit to the bathhouses within the safehouse complex, Esben among them—while his hair had been remarkably well cleaned by Eve’s bit of magic, that still left the rest of him to wash. Not long after he’d settled in his room, all of Mizutani’s papers he’d managed to find spread on the low table before him, scanning through them once more while setting the most recent span of events straight in his mind.

Luckily, he’d long since taken to journaling his days extensively; while it did make for extra writing to do whenever he had to draft his reports, it was remarkably handy when it came to making sure every important detail was accounted for. He’d just finished writing down the day’s events, flipping back to just after they’d rescued Hien, when he heard a knock on the frame of the room’s sliding door. The relative [i]lack[/i] of noise from whoever it was ruled out quite a few possibilities, as the majority of the team wasn’t quiet enough to go so unnoticed, nor were the servants; among those left, fewer still were [i]naturally[/i] so soft footed, and the one that was wouldn’t have bothered knocking, as she wouldn’t have come unless called.

Two options left. The silhouette through the thin door lacked one [i]particularly[/i] defining pair of features, though their homologues weren’t visible...likely her head was turned.

[color=#b3ccff]”Come in, Ciradyl.”[/color]

The sliding of the door produced more noise than her footsteps did and she slipped inside the room, closing it behind her. She gracefully made her way over to the same seat she had taken the last time they spoke and sat across from him. Ciradyl wore a flowing, pastel pink-coloured nightgown that she smoothed out underneath as she made herself comfortable. A light floral scent came from her and her hair had a light dampness. Her delicate, dainty hands bore the signs she might have been soaking for longer than recommended.

[color=B2FFC4]“Thank you for what you said.”[/color] Her tone indicated that it was more of a courtesy than what she actually wanted to speak about.

She wouldn’t deny that she felt a bit of affection for the Skaellan after he eloquently defended her, but it didn’t take much to dismiss the feelings. Ciradyl's gaze lowered to the documents he was shifting through, likely searching for information that would support their efforts against Valheim or bolster Skael's position. It was not that she didn't like him at all. Quite the contrary, she appreciated his odd but professional demeanour and had deemed him a person she could depend on.

[color=B2FFC4]“I suppose I should be honored to receive such a positive review by one of Skael's finest.”[/color] There was a mix of satisfaction and exhaustion carried by her words.

Esben’s report remained unwritten for the time as Ciradyl came in and sat across from him. For a moment, he’d wondered just what the purpose of the visit was likely to be, especially as she thanked him for his input earlier, gaining a small nod in response...though between her tone, and the clearly flattering comment that came after, those wonders slipped away. The practiced grace, refined bearing, perfumed scent, those were all hallmarks to be expected of an upper class artist; but there had long since been more to Ciradyl than just the singer she had been before.

Alongside that, once again she chose to visit him in her bed clothes. The article was something befitting her status, certainly, but wearing it to such a meeting was still [i]beyond[/i] what would be considered professional, proprietous, or even simply [i]friendly.[/i]

[color=#b3ccff]”Are you trying to catch me off guard?”[/color] he asked, the flattery going unacknowledged, the well-fit, dainty nightgown ignored aside from the initial glance to note its presence. [color=#b3ccff]”Or were you hoping to gain something from me that your closest friend can’t give you?”[/color]

She shrugged her shoulders in a small motion and replied to the first question. [color=B2FFC4]“Perhaps, if it were so easy.“[/color] It did confirm something for her. What he asked next made her eyes widen for a moment before she brushed it off. He was someone who had been trained at the famous Garden so she had been intrigued with how he operated. There seemed to be a clear separation between work and personal matters. In fact, she wondered if she had ever seen him take a break from so-called [i]professional[/i] conduct since they first met. [color=B2FFC4]“Hmm. Perspective, perhaps. You gave me much to consider last time, after all.”[/color]

Was it better to be Ciradyl the Bard or Ciradyl the Spy in her dealings with Esben? She might be able to coax more of what lies underneath with the former option. The latter one would likely be more appropriate given their relationship and how he seemed to carry himself. [color=B2FFC4]“I wear this nightgown simply because you fail to offer a meaningful reaction to it. I find it comforting in a strange way. Ignoring that, It seems as though we will be working together moving forward.”[/color] Her tone had fallen into the way she had conducted herself prior to the Mizutani incident. The bard and spy were both facets of her being and she had to learn to accept that. Unlike Izayoi, the one Esben would get to know would be the spy.

Esben tilted his head to the side in a show of mild curiosity at her response, before giving an approving nod at the answer. Managing to give a reply without rising to any provocation was a useful skill for anybody, although he [i]had[/i] noticed the slight, momentary widening of her eyes, and the short pause gathering her thoughts before she replied. Evidently, though, she hadn't understood [i]quite[/i] what he was getting at behind the question.

Not unexpected, given everything else that night. [color=#b3ccff]”You've been under quite a bit of stress lately,”[/color] he stated quietly. An obvious observation to make for anybody with eyes to see. [color=#b3ccff]”And we're leaving in little more than a day. You should be relaxing, not talking about how much we're about to work together.”[/color]

Had he had a pot with him, he'd have offered her a cup of tea—instead, he at least kept two cups ready with the pitcher of water on the table, pouring one for Ciradyl. [color=#b3ccff]”I don't know that the [i]perspective[/i] I can offer will be something you'll particularly like, though I'm still happy to help where I can. But I did mean what I said earlier with everything about how you must be feeling through all of this.”[/color]

[color=B2FFC4]“How I am feeling…?”[/color] It caught her off-guard. Right. A strong mental state was necessary to maintain peak performance during operations. That must have been what he had meant. She took a sip of the water he had poured for her, holding it with both hands. Regardless, she wanted to focus on something else thus her desire to discuss strategy, methods, or anything. Anything to take her mind off it all. Couldn’t he guess such a simple motive? Her grip on the cup tightened. No. He knew, and worse of all he was right.

The only ones that could see right through her like this were Chisaki and Izayoi. This business with Mizutani and coming to face her past had clearly clouded her judgement. [color=B2FFC4]“I do appreciate the sentiment and concern. As for now, talking with you is helping take my mind off things.”[/color] A darkness coloured her expression briefly as she thought of Renzo. She had given Chisaki clear instructions to end his life with as much honour and dignity that could be given. That was likely happening right about now. His death…would haunt her the most out of all she put to the blade.

Her expression eased back into a gentle one. [color=B2FFC4]“If you are able to read through all of those, you might know me better than Izayoi,”[/color] Ciradyl mused while taking a second sip. Their conversations reminded her a lot of how it was back then. There was rarely small talk and they hadn’t begun to know personal details about each other until quite a bit later.

[color=#b3ccff]”Whoever Mizutani Tane thought you were, perhaps, though I have my doubts as to whether or not that actually lets me know [i]you.”[/i][/color] With a quick and practiced hand, he swept the splayed-out documents back into a neat pile, clearing up the space on the small table. [color=#b3ccff]”I still think Izayoi will have the rest of us beat when it comes to that. But, given that you prefer to take your mind off of tonight’s topics—”[/color]

His journal snapped shut, and he laid it alongside the documents taken from Mizutani’s office and his actual ledger. [color=#b3ccff]”Why don’t you talk about how you got to know Izayoi, what the both of you were like back then?”[/color] 

Ciradyl simply shrugged her shoulders again, thinking that there was likely insight into her character through the tinted glasses of Mizutani. Actually, a bit of colour came to her cheeks wondering exactly what Mizutani had written. She wanted to move past that topic of conversation so she decided to agree with his proposal. 

[color=B2FFC4]”It was actually because of Mizutani that we became friends. I had gone to a tea shop I loved to frequent and there was no tables available. I saw Izayoi sitting alone so I decided to join her.”[/color] She giggled lightly. [color=B2FFC4]”As you might imagine, she wasn't much for conversation but I didn't mind. Our reputations in Osprey were on the rise at the time so it was pleasant to enjoy a comfortable silence. We mused over some shared liking of bergamot tea when a group of brigands barged into the tea shop.”[/color] It was one of her fondest memories.

[color=B2FFC4]”They were henchmen of Mizutani sent to abduct me and Izayoi came to my defence so I’ll just let you picture what happened. From there, we met regularly at the same table at the same tea shop. We would speak honestly with each other and lament our personal trials.”[/color] Light faded from her eyes once again for a split moment.

[color=#b3ccff]”Mmm. The war with Edren, yes?”[/color] He declined to offer any comment on the giggle she had, remembering the time she’d nearly been kidnapped as one of her fondest memories. He’d overheard Izayoi describing him as [i]eccentric[/i] too many times just to the other members of the Kirins to lay too much judgement at that. [color=#b3ccff]”I can’t imagine you’d really gone into [i]this[/i] trade at that point.”[/color]

[color=B2FFC4]”No, my contributions were taking people’s minds off the war and later helping the sick and wounded when the war turned for the worse. My name had just begun to spread outside of Osprey when the war with Edren began. Each time I would meet with Izayoi there seemed to be a darker shadow lingering over her…so I began to tease her that I had started putting her deeds into ballads. I think if I were ever to perform one in front of her she would take my head.”[/color] A lamenting sigh escaped her lips and then when she realised the next step in the story she faltered. The mask of cheerfulness she had been donning shattered.

[color=B2FFC4]”Izayoi’s reported death was difficult to bear. The one person I trusted and cherished the most was gone. I may have been able to grieve and move on had it not been Valheim’s subsequent invasion. Our nation’s greatest champion had perished and there was no one left to hold it all together. I started taking out those who either did or would betray our nation, which is what led me to Chisaki. It was not long before I realised it would not be enough just to take out a few persons of interest here and there. The mission scope soon grew larger than I had ever imagined.”[/color] She stopped there. The cup was empty yet she still held it tightly in her hands.

From which, everything clearly led into what they had all just discussed, a topic which was—as could only be expected—still bothering her, despite the fact that the team all understood. It was as he and the others had said, regarding such feelings of guilt. [color=#b3ccff]”Mmm. Been tense for a while, haven’t you?”[/color] He slid the pitcher of water across the table, a clear expectation for her to pour herself another glass, before standing up from his cushion.

Then, pushing a small chest over behind Ciradyl. [color=#b3ccff]”Do you mind? It’ll be hard enough for you to sleep if you don’t manage to relax your neck and shoulders somehow.”[/color]

Her eyes lowered to the pitcher and poured more water into the cup, finally releasing the death-like grip she had been exerting on it. [color=B2FFC4]”There have not been many opportunities to relax.”[/color] Even now, there was a part of her that was on edge. What if Chisaki failed? Esben unexpectedly standing dislodged this thought before it could take root. Ciradyl froze for a split-second at the implications of his words, looking at him with something she had never expressed before even as the truth about her actions became known. Fear.

[color=B2FFC4]”I-I would hate to trouble you. I-I was not planning on sleeping much.”[/color] What a pathetic excuse, she thought. It might have been natural to refuse exposing a weak-point to one with a known SEED association but her trepidation had nothing to do with a potential assassination.

Esben raised an eyebrow at the sudden change. [color=#b3ccff]”It’s no trouble, Ciradyl. I won’t push if you’re so uncomfortable, but it’s like you said—we [i]are[/i] going to be working together quite a bit, and that includes taking care of each other’s needs, like making sure [i]you[/i] can relax enough to get the rest you need.”[/color]

Embarrassing was not even a word that could accurately fit in this situation. Why was it this hard to get a read on this Skaellan? First, he had so casually sat against her during the meeting and now…what was he even offering? No, she had to collect herself and project the presence held by one of her station. [color=B2FFC4]”You would use my own words against me? Fine. You may go ahead if you think it will help.”[/color] But it was all a front. Her whole body seemed to tense up.

Esben took a seat on the chest as she turned back away, shaking his head. [color=#b3ccff]”Really, it’s not half so combative as you make it sound,”[/color] he chided, raising his fingers up to the base of Ciradyl’s skull and beginning to gently massage the taut muscles in her neck. [color=#b3ccff]”You’ll make sure to tell me if anything hurts, [i]ja?[/i] Otherwise, feel free to keep talking if you’re comfortable, I’ll still be listening.”[/color]

Ciradyl couldn’t help but tense the muscles further the moment his fingers touched, but slowly relaxed as he carried on. The anxiety that swirled in her chest remained but she could bear it. Esben couldn’t have been more wrong. This was indeed a battle though one she alone was fighting. The longer it went on, however, the easier it seemed to be and the more she relaxed her shoulders. [color=B2FFC4]”I shall let you know if it does.[/color]

It was difficult to continue where she had left off with her mind racing as it was. Trains of thought came and went as she tried to figure out the right words. That was when a question of her own came to mind. [color=B2FFC4]”Esben. How do you divide your personal life and work?”[/color] It was a frank question that didn’t conceal hidden objectives.

Esben silently continued to work at Ciradyl's slowly-softening muscles with his fingertips, moving from her neck to her shoulders. [color=#b3ccff]”My personal life,”[/color] he echoed quietly, his subdued voice sounding lost in thought for the moment. His hands continued to knead at her shoulders even as it became clear his thoughts were trending elsewhere, though before Ciradyl could have reason to worry about his response he started to speak up again.

[color=#b3ccff]”I enjoy the small conversations I can have, like this, or like with Eve, Izayoi, all of you—but I'd be lying if I said my occupation here was ever far from my mind. Often, you all manage to turn things back in that direction before long.”[/color] His hands came to a stop, resting lightly on the Faye's shoulders. One finger on his right hand started tapping rhythmically, mindlessly.

Before he started to massage her shoulders again, catching a knot under one thumb. [color=#b3ccff]”I haven't had much of one for a while, I think. Not since I began to study at the Garden...there's only so much time in the day, after all. What about you?”[/color]

Her eyes closed half-way, thankful that she was facing away from so he couldn’t see her tired expression. The tension releasing from her shoulders had indeed brought sleep closer. It became a struggle to keep her focus on what Esben had been saying. Perhaps she struggled because it sounded so familiar. Was there even a divide present or had they become hopelessly intertwined? [color=B2FFC4]”Me? I do not believe I have had the luxury of a personal life since Valheim invaded, but moments like this give me hope that might change.”[/color]

A nearly quiet yawn escaped from her as her drowsiness began to take hold.  [color=B2FFC4]”I think I shall retire for the night. It would be [i]improper[/i] of me to fall asleep here.”[/color] She turned her head back slightly with a smile and slowly rose back to her feet.  [color=B2FFC4]”Thank you for listening, Esben.”[/color] Was all that was spoken as she briefly turned to face him, gave a light curtsy, and headed for the door.

Esben raised his eyebrow again as she walked for the door. [color=#b3ccff]”So [i]that's[/i] improper, but visiting me in your bed clothes isn't?”[/color] he mused, playing along with the joke for the moment. [color=#b3ccff]”If it helps, feel free to visit me any time, Ciradyl.”[/color]

Ciradyl took a step from the door after it closed, froze, and slowly turned back to the door. The possibility of catching something not meant for her ears intrigued her. Her hand absent-mindedly reached out and felt the grain of the wooden frame on her fingertips. She uttered a quiet scoff and pulled her hand back and proceeded on her way, a slightly warm feeling in her cheeks.

He stood from his makeshift stool, pushing the small chest back against the wall where it had been, taking his actual seat again as he pulled his journal back over and opened it again, flipping through a few pages towards the back of the book. Just as he kept good notes on each day's major events, he'd long since taken to putting down notes about those he travelled with—even if only to make sure he didn't risk forgetting something that may be important. Given that Ciradyl was going to be joining them for the foreseeable future, it only made sense to push sleep off a bit further to add a new page. Not that sleep had been terribly forthcoming in the last few days. Tired in the day, restless at night...

And the intermittent headaches that continued to plague him, despite what Miina and the local healer they'd found had done to try and alleviate any remaining symptoms, one of which had decided the last half of that conversation had been the best time to start coming in.

Esben pushed an offending lock of hair out from his eyes, focusing down on the page before him. [color=#b3ccff]”Maybe telling Eve she didn't need to check in on me tonight was a poor decision,”[/color] he wondered to himself as he started to write again.