[h2]Esme[/h2]
Releasing her hold on her jacket, Esme brought her hand to rest on her aching chest. She still wasn’t sure why she told Duke and Mika about that night. It was like as soon as it came to her mind, she couldn’t stop it from leaving her lips, which she immediately regretted and wanted to bolt from the kitchen when she felt the sorrow and guilt coming from the two.  She didn’t want them to feel sorry for her for being in the asylum and going through what she did. Esme also didn’t want them to feel guilty for not knowing she was there. There was absolutely no way they could have known. Lifting her gaze to Mika, she shook her head softly after she and Duke finished talking. “Yes, it was pretty terrifying back then, but you have nothing to be sorry for, Mika.” she told her. “Even back then, it was a wonder that the place was still standing. And if she looked anything like I did, I don’t blame you for rushing to get out of there, especially with how many demons were there and the possibility of more coming. From what I could hear, I know getting in and out was a hell of a fight.”

Esme sighed softly, the sounds of the fighting ringing in her ears and sending a visible shiver down her spine. “I hold nothing against you for not going in and looking for others. There was absolutely no way you could have known they had someone else locked up in one of the other rooms. Not to mention, it would have been hard to find that room. They had the door well hidden.” she told Mika. “The only reason my godmother found it was because someone came and opened the door and told me it was going to be alright and that help was coming. To this day, I have no idea who they were or why they didn’t come in and unstrap me from the gurney or how they knew my godmother was coming for me.” she added. Esme still wondered who it was in that doorway back then, why they chose to keep their face hidden from her, and why they didn’t loosen her restraints. She wouldn’t even be able to pick out their voice since they spoke to her in a whisper. Esme could still clearly picture their silhouette standing in the doorway as they whispered to her. 

Slightly shifting, Esme let her fingers slip from Duke’s belt loop and looked up at Duke. Removing her hand from her chest, she placed it on his chest. “And you, Duke. Especially you, have nothing to feel sorry or guilty for.” she told him, her features soft. “I know if you knew I was there, you would have been there in a heartbeat, but even if you had been there, I’m not sure you would have been able to feel me like you used to. When I left, the link between the three of us was broken. Or at least it was with Dean.” she told Duke. Esme then reached up with both hands, causing her jacket to fall from her shoulders and reveal the bruises she had been covering, and took Duke’s face into her hands, making him look at her. “Don’t beat yourself up for not answering the Dean’s call and missing the chance to save me from that place. I knew things would be hard between you and Dean when I left, but I never thought you’d leave and cut him out of your life for a while. For that, I’m sorry.” she told him softly, looking deep into his eyes. 

“And don’t beat yourself up for what happened at the farm, either. Things happen that we can’t control, and we couldn’t have known what was waiting for us there. What matters is now. We’re together, and we’re both alive, a little beat up, but alive.” she told him with a small smile to try and get him to smile. “We’ve been given another chance, so let’s grab it by the horns and run with it. Don’t dwell on what happened. Just keep looking forward. I’m sure we’ll have plenty of opportunities to protect each other down the road.” Esme held his face a little longer to make sure her words got through, then let her hands slip from his face as she took a shaky breath, crossed her arms over her stomach, and turned back a bit towards Mika, her smile fading a bit. “I feel like we’re all going to have to protect each other in some way with what’s coming. It’s good that we’re all working to be on the same page because we will all need to work together when we face what’s coming. It’ll be hard, or we’ll never see the end because we’re divided.” she sighed tiredly. Esme suddenly felt as if she could pass out right where she stood, even with her aching chest.

But even with being tired, she was worried about what they would have to face. She worried about her vision of Dean coming true and worried about losing Duke again. There was no way Esme would survive mentally if she lost Duke again. Something deep down told her she’d take out more than a building if she lost control of herself over losing Duke again. She also couldn’t help but worry that Duke would be reckless, especially if he ended up separated from her or the others. She hoped that he’d be smart about things to come after what happened at the farm. Esme dropped her eyes to the floor and closed her eyes in an attempt to ground herself and push away the sorrow and grief, but it was proving difficult with how tired she was and no other emotions to focus on. So she focused on something that made her happy, and that slowly started to work. Once she was where she felt comfortable, Esme opened her eyes but didn’t lift her eyes from the floor.