[h3] Dean [/h3]

Dean watched and poured himself a bit more whiskey as Lexi looked at the photos he had placed in front of her. As she commented on Anna being adorable, Dean nodded and a fond smirk covered his lips. She was adorable. She had hated him off and on the whole time that he knew her, but she never failed to stick up for both he and Sam. She was a needed light in Dean’s life that he had taken for granted, a lot. There were times he was tempted to reach out to her, but with his connection with Sam, he resisted bringing up any bad memories for her…or any temptation for her to come to Kansas. He nodded his head in a wide, and exasperated way when Lexi stated that they should hope Anna didn’t show up at the bunker.

“Yeah, well…she avoids Kansas just as much as Sam avoids Colorado. They both know how things are with them.” He grumbled, taking a small drink. He paused his drink as Lexi pulled a photo of Dean and Mika, his heart falling into the pit of his stomach. He tilted his head back and pressed his lips together with a small nod, “Yeah…yeah that’s her.”

His voice was more hoarse than he had expected, emotion threatening to break that really pretty barrier he had built between himself and handling her death. He liked not thinking about it, but he knew that eventually, there wouldn’t be much of a choice. He would have to try and move on. Eventually it wouldn’t hurt so bad, but he couldn’t imagine what that day would even look like. As Lexi patted his thigh, Dean perked up a bit and he nodded, watching her with a furrowed brow as she stepped away from the table and headed down the dorm corridor. Right on cue, his phone buzzed and he pulled it from his pocket, looking at the screen with a frown.

He read over the message a few times, suddenly a bit worried about Anya and Sam being out alone. Sam could handle himself against a demon, but Anya was new to all of this. He didn’t even now if they took weapons with them. He pushed down the worry and texted Sam back with a deep breath.

[I] ‘Just take care of her. Make sure you have what you need to keep yourself safe and move normally. Don’t draw attention to yourself. And keep her close, Sammy.’[/I]

He sent the message and laid his phone back on the table as Lexi came back, a pouch in her hands. Dean turned to look at her, following her hands as she pulled a photo and pushed it toward him. His chest clenched as he realized she was opening up about her own loss, and they had reached a point of actually sharing their big traumas with one another. Hearing her correct herself into the past tense, Dean could feel the struggle in her voice and he knew that struggle well. It took a long time to be able to refer to Mika in the past tense, and he wasn’t even sure he could in normal conversation…even now.

He picked up the photo and took in how happy the both looked. The photo was beautiful and it captured Lexi’s real and natural smile to a fault, something that almost pulled a smile onto Dean’s lips. But as Lexi spoke about him, he realized how much their emotions and their loss echoed one another, “It does look like a happy day. Like…you look genuinely happy. I’m so sorry you lost him.”

Dean looked up from the photo, and he took a deep breath, scanning her face as she took a drink. He could tell that she was on the verge of becoming emotional, and he fought down his own lump in his throat, laying the photo on the table in front of him before drinking down the last of his second glass of whiskey, “That’s why we keep them, the pictures. Happier times and all that. It’s how we hold onto them. I’m sure Sam would rather I got rid of them all, but I can’t. You shouldn’t…”

Thinking of everything they had both lost, Dean was reminded of Sam’s text and he absentmindedly glanced at the mark on his arm, glaring in the dim light of the bunker. He rolled his arm just a bit, trying to ignore it as he tapped his glass on the table, tempted to pour more whiskey.

“Moving on is tough…” He randomly muttered, staring the bottle down with his eyebrows raised.