"You have not only lost your mind, but have committed heretech against the Ommnisah so blasphemous that I have not choice to deliver you to the Egreaseiastical courts for judgment and, furthermore, to render my strongly worded Inquisitorial recommendation that you be converted to the lowest functioning servitor possible an assigned to mining operations as far from the stars as can be contrived. I also believe you will serve as a useful lesson for future Interrogator's on the point that the fact that something is suicidal dangerous and monumental stupid is no defense at all against the incalculable power of human stupidity," ... Is what I would have said if the implications of these words had registered with me. In my defense, and that of future Interrogators who will read my paper on the subject, it was so insane that I might be forgiven for missing it. Afterall, no one who could draw breath and walk around would possibly be stupid enough traverse the Warp with some kind of jury rigged drive and thus imperil his mortal soul, not to mention squishy flesh and other assets, to its denizens. Starships were immense masterworks which took decades or centuries of construction by the most learned and pious of techno-magi. My only defense was that my mind translated only that this was a shuttle, rather an impressive one, which was conveying us to orbit. Further more what kind of a criffing idiot names his Rogue Trader (if such a term can be applied) Rogue?

Temporarily defeated by the aforementioned criffin idiots limitless powers, I lifted to orbit, secure in the notion that at any moment a more substantial vessel would swell to fill the viewport. Even when Neil began making comments about translation, I assumed it was some kind of pre-docking ritual. Afterall, we were far to close to the planet to translate even if it were possible in a tub like this. You hardly had to be Gniles Boring (1) to know that translation anywhere withing a light day of a planet large enough to support life is impossible and suicidal to even attempt. This comforting, slightly bemused, and entirely misplaced confidence lasted until about a second before the view shields closed and I felt the sickening translation into the hellish Immaterium. 

"Alot of people faint when they translate," Neil was saying as I came to, finding myself laying on the deck, my stomach churning. I knew we must be in the Warp but we hadn't immediately been eaten by daemons so I had to assume that whatever tech heresy had been done here was at least effective. I opened my mouth to tear Edwards a wide and completely justified new fecal excretion center but my instincts took over in time. I was afterall a trained Inquisitor and the role I was playing would not be nearly savvy enough to be terrified.

"I suppose so," I managed, "but since I'm awake now and this appears to be your ship, perhaps a tour is in order, along with some idea of where we are going and what we are doing."


(1) Gniles Boring - An allegedly brilliant Tech-Priest who wrote 'A Simplified Guide to Warp Transit' a two hundred and seventy volume account of the physics of Immaterial travel that, to my knowledge, no one has ever managed to finish due to is incredible soporific effect.