[i]“You are not dressed as a lady yourself, madam. But the state allows us to be this way, as husband and wife.”[/i] Claire pressed her lips together in a shy but very present smile, raising her knees up and wrapping her arms around her legs, feet flat on the bedspread. She’d always cared so much about being a respected lady in society, she couldn’t remember a time when a man saw her knees, much less the thighs above them. Would Nick prove to be the first? In fact, his offer was actually a bit disheartening. They would be doing no such thing tonight, possible ever. He had agreed to not share a bed much too quickly when sex was an option, and had agreed to sleep together all too quickly again now that it wasn’t. Maybe it was the lack of sleep causing her to overreact, but Claire’s smile faded as easily as it had come.

[i]“I sense that for some reasons unknown to me, you did not sleep well last night. There are dark circles under your eyes, wife. I cannot present you to the public looking tired. Just for today I will let you join me in my bed.”[/i]

Claire heard his little jab at it being his bed, but she didn’t respond with a sarcastic comment as she normally would. Instead the woman took a slow steading breath, looking down into her lap as she made a decision. She had no idea how this was going to go, but right then it all seemed worth saying.

Accepting his invitation Claire silently lifted the blankets and crawled in beneath them, turning onto her side to put an arm along his lower abdomen, just below the wrapping. Her head comfortably rested in the crook of his arm, as if she’d planned on lying there the entire time.

“May I tell you something?” she asked, her quiet, timid voice so unlike how she usually acted around him it actually surprised even her. “I know I risk looking like the biggest liar you’ve ever met, but that’s why I can’t go running around London telling everyone this. I also know you have no reason to trust me…but please, as my husband, try.”

One more deep, comforting breath and she pulled away just enough to look him in the eyes as she spoke. Perhaps he would see the truth there, if not in her words. “What that man said about me sharing a bed with him months ago…Nicholas, I swear to you it wasn’t true. Just listen,” she said, her words coming faster now that she’d started. And who could interrupt her when her eyes were glistening with what little unshed tears she had left, and her voice was filled with desperation. She needed him, of all people, to believe this.

Unfortunately, with the man being her old contact there was no way Claire could tell the [i]entire[/i] truth, but part of it… “Yes we were in his house together, and yes he took me to his bedroom, but I- I was under the impression it was for different reasons. He- he wanted to plan his wife a surprise birthday party, Nick, and I was to help. I know it was foolish on my part to have gone in. He forced a kiss on me,” she told him, which was true. He had been giving her papers kept in a locked compartment when his wife unexpectedly came home. Apparently Mr. Wallace had no shame and would rather be thought kissing Claire than be caught as a spy. She supposed telling that she’d stayed the entire morning had been his idea of fun, and insuring the attention was put on her and their scandal instead of the truth. It wasn’t fair a man could get away with such a thing…

“He lied-,” she choked, not holding back from showing how upset she was, “I do not know why he would want his wife to see such a thing, their marriage is none of my business, but it was all set up. What was I to do, I was the silly girl that went into the house to begin with, and it’s my word against his. He’s very well known, I’m sure I don’t have to tell you that,” she said, as Mr. Wallace was in the overseas trading industry and was quite profitable.

“Everyone assumes I’m a whore, when I’ve never even felt a man’s touch beneath my dress, much less between-“ Claire paused, realizing she was going too far. “I’m sorry. It’s just as much as I acted like I didn’t want to enjoy your company, a part of me wanted to [i]finally[/i] understand why it is so desired! What it feels like to be wanted like that, if only for a night! To be treasured, if not for who I am, then at least for what I have saved to give away that night. A feeling that everyone assumes I’ve had, when I haven’t even come close! And I certainly don’t have a mother to explain it all before the wedding. N-not that I don’t understand how it works,” she quickly assured him. Her blush would have come back at that point if her cheeks weren’t already red from crying so much. “It’s just- oh, nevermind. It doesn’t matter,” she sniffed, looking away and lying back down against his side. “I have said the truth- I’ve barely kissed anyone before you, Nicholas Rochford, and whether you believe it or not I know I am worth more than London thinks. If I could prove it I would, but I can’t. I’m just- I’m just so tired of feeling like I’m barely staying afloat, like I’m in over my head…” With this and her job as a spy. Perhaps it had been the wrong choice afterall. “I’m so tired, Nick…” Sleep was catching up with her, but she refused to let it take over until he’d answered. Claire continued to silently tremble as she had no more cries left in her, her eyes becoming heavy. “And Nicholas? Whatever you do right now, please do not lie to me. I understand if my story is unbelievable…you certainly wouldn’t be the first to think so, and not the last either. I will not be cross with you...unless you are not honest. I will not be able to forgive that, not on this."