[quote=Skittlez]
I have struggled with suicidal thoughts frequently since (I think I wrote my first suicide note at) 9/10. I tried to tell my mother at 12 and she only seemed very annoyed. We never had the discussion again. I still suffer from it. My sister (about to be 14) threatened to kill herself and only then did my parents get her help. My mother often refuses to give her the medicines she's been prescribed and will yell at her for being ridiculous if she cries or feels depressed. My mother doesn't want sick children. She wants perfect children. Not that I've ever been good enough for her, my sister was always the favorite. But let me tell you I have never seen a child fall so far from grace so quickly. I will never tell my mother about how I feel, or what my ex did or things I've done because she would only be annoyed and disappointed.THAT is selfish. I'm not saying suicide isn't selfish (I'll admit that it is), but it may not be the most selfish choice being made.
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I went through a similar experience. My family went through a lot of shit when I was younger, and I came out of all of it very depressed and suicidal. Like I said earlier, I went to both my mom and the church and they both just told me how selfish I was being. I think my mom just didn't know how to handle it, the church pulled the "You would disappoint god" card to some effect, and as a result I still have some deep running estrangement with my mother and hatred for how the church handled it all. Eventually my mom got me into counseling which turned out to be exactly what I needed. 

 I think suicide is a horrible thing, but I can't look at it as selfish. Because when I personally tried to talk to someone about it, they just mishandled it. I know how horrible it felt, and can sympathize to others going through the similar thing, and if they don't get the help they need I understand how it could lead to a suicide. As far as the whole selfish debate, if someone has a negative driving force strong enough to lead them to suicide I think it's ignorant for these people to stand back and call them selfish. No one knows every faucet of someone else s life, so where in all of this do they get the entitlement to pass judgement.