Also. if you stab my beautiful dragon through the eye with a sword, the wrath of 20,000 orcs will be dropped in your lap all at once. Not really because I'm not like that and they are unrelated characters, but I would be tempted.

Unrelated: I totally just wrote a jail house style letter to my friend who is in rehab in Florida. Every time she calls she's like "did you send me a letter yet? Where's my f***ing letter?" And I'm like, "uh.. sure yeah I did." But tonight I did. And because it was a jail style letter, I totally snail-mail sexted her. It was meant as a joke but I made sure to say "Just because we both know your boyfriend doesn't have the balls to do it, here you are: " and then yeah. Sexting commenced. Not sure why I'm sharing this but I have a lot of stuff on my RL plate and if I keep it all inside I end up freaking out on an unsuspecting client who wants nothing more than to have their boiler serviced.