That does not explain the inconsistency in your philosopy. Here, use my take on the examples as an example of ideological consistency.

Suicidal mother: Is bad because the mother is causing enormous life shattering pain.
Bigot: Is bad as the bigot inflicts pain to make himself feel better.
Relationship: Unlike the family, all parties are entered by choice and as such may leave by choice. You cannot simply decide one day you are not my biological parent. The incredibly strong bond between parent and child is so much stronger. I can get another girlfriend, but I only get one mother.