[quote=ActRaiserTheReturned]
Elisif might actually be ruling and governing, but The Dragonborn is the one dealing with military affairs, and thus, is actually the one ruling.
[/quote]

It's a lot like actual Medieval royalty. When the husband is off fighting the war, the most closely related female(usually the Queen) will handle the more political affairs. If Elisif is at the helm of that, I take pity on the future of Skyrim.