He simply let it drop. Nicholas let the stone plop right into Thames without even trying. Claire’s lips parted in surprise, but she said nothing. He wouldn’t even look at her. She expected him to laugh, for them to kiss. Playing picnic like they were in love had been going so well, what was wrong now?

She then asked if they could be under the tree and she of course obliged, being reminded of how unwell he was. Or perhaps it was more than the wound getting him down. Still, she sat down beside him, running her fingers over his arm with little response. The entire time she wondered what was on his mind, what she had done to upset him. She had given him an out and he didn’t take it. He was being sweet and flirting, saying he would keep promises that he would soon forget. It was a game, why had he quit playing?

Just as she was starting to feel comfortable, assuming he was just tired, Nicholas spoke. [i]“Why do you doubt me so? Why did you have to think that I will not spare part of my time to spend with you? Have I done you wrong?”[/i]

He wasn’t finished. And just like the night he left the bedroom, he actually seemed hurt. [i]“What am I doing wrong, Claire? Tell me. Tell me why you have to give me a chance to win back the favor you won?”[/i]

“Why would you not spare your time? Because you would not do it before, why would you now!” she asked desperately, getting angry. But he did not deserve that kind of attitude. “Oh, Nicholas,” she breathed, licking her lips with hesitation. “I give you a chance to win it back so you do not have to lie to me again. But if you want to, if you want to make false promises that will not be kept, then by all means continue to do so. Whatever makes you feel better,” Claire murmured, watching him. “Let’s take a look at my experience with you so far, shall we?” she said, unsure where else to start but the beginning. If he wanted to know why she doubted him, if he was so blind as to need an explanation, then she would give it.

“Our first night together was nothing but pleasantries. I gave you an out and you took it immediately. When we became engaged…well, I have to admit you won me over quickly, even after clearly not wanting to show me the estate,” she laughed bitterly, the heartache still there. It wasn’t so long ago, despite how much had happened since then. “You were charming, swept me off my feet as if our marriage would be a storybook romance. ‘I will be in constant contact,’ you said, and sealed it with a kiss. I waited, but heard not a word. That hurt me, did I not make that clear at the wedding?” Claire let him dwell on that a moment before going on, her fingertips at her throat where the necklace he’d given her lay.

“You continue to give kisses, but keep your hands to yourself with sweet words I feel you do not mean. After flirting that you [i]do[/i] want more than that, of course, but make no move to prove otherwise. I want honesty, but all I feel is distance. So now I am putting up my own defenses. I would rather not expect much from you and be pleasantly surprised than expect what I want, what you say you will give, and be disappointed. So please. Please do not push me to dream of being loved again, because it hurt when it was proved to be a fantasy.”

Claire groaned softly, wishing she could hide her face from him. Just get up and leave, forget the conversation and any idea that he might care. “Why are you doing this, aren’t things going well?” she asked softly, her fingers clenching over her dress. “If you believe I am wrong to doubt, that I should trust your charm and promises, and that children will one day come and we will smile in each other’s arms with whispers of ‘I love you”…then prove it. Give me a reason to have hope.”