It was actually a day camp that I use to go to when I was a kid, so that's kinda cool. The kids are elementary school aged, so like 5-11 ish so that should be fun. It's kinda weird but I am literally eight years old at heart so I get along really well with kids. Like, I will honestly admit that one of my best friends (I think about her as my protege, I try so hard to be a good role model in her life) is eleven. Heh, it sounds weird but she is a dancer at my studio and everyone just kinda hangs out with everyone so it isn't really that odd. Ahh, man! That must have been a sleep away camp? I have always wanted to go to one of those, but the only ones around here are bible camps and I'm not religious. Was it like super cliche, with swimming lessons and canoeing and crafts and all of that? XD

Hehe, I get exactly what you mean! I've always liked the idea of collaborating with someone else and writing just a really unique, interesting story. It's fun! I actually have considered being a novelist y'know! I've started countless novels, but I can never stick to it for some reason. I think writing would be better as a hobby for me, though. Maybe someday I'll finish a book but for now I think I should leave it and let writing be more of a creative outlet for me to express my feelings and not keep them all bottled up.

She punched a window? Oh damn... haha. That must have been something, did you see it happen??

The top secret horror queen has your back, no worries! Haha, first of all let me point out, that sounds like a lot of fun! Haha. try The Blair Witch Project and Nightmare on Elm Street for scary ones, although if he likes horror movie's he has definitely seen the latter. Ooh, also try . Some of my other all time favorites are Perks of Being a Wallflower (maybe too high school, though), Silver Linings Playbook and I also really liked this movie called To.Get.Her. It was unique, and had a really weird twist at the end. Oh! Also, The Lego Movie. I didn't think I would like it but it is actually so good! Alsoooo, you have really good taste in movies, just saying. Forest Gump? Slumdog Millionaire? Avatar? Spirited Away? Yes. Just yes. XD

Yeah, it's just that some of it is a little much and I'm trying to steer clear of anymore inappropriate music for solos. This year I'm doing Sexy Silk by Jessie J and one of the first lyrics are "I'll be your pussy cat". >.< I hate it so much, like you have no idea how embarrassing it is to be onstage dancing (let me also tell you that my costume consists of a red sports bra, high waist underwear shorts, with fringe, and fishnets. Oh, and a sparkly choker #great) to lyrics like that. It's awkward. As for Alt J, their music is amazing, so conceptual and unique.

Meh, I think I'll be fine. She'll just tell me to talk about my feelings and probably ask if this has anything to do with my self harm which is a topic that I hate talking about because then she'll ask about other stuff and it'll just be way too deep for me DX Oh, my family making snide little comments was actually what stopped me from admitted it for so long! My cousin kept saying how she didn't believe people could be bisexual and that you had to like one more then the other. I was sitting there like, please say that again as I continue to ogle over that attractive man and that beautiful woman, kay thanks. o.O But my parents would be cool with it, I was telling my mom something and I was being really serious about it and she grabbed my hand and started smiling at me and I know she thought I was going to come out to her. Haha, it was actually funny.

Yeah, no it wouldn't be a very positive thing, it probably is best that you two aren't around each other so much anymore. Oh my god, friendship threesomes are the best ever! I don't really get the whole hype with hanging out with someone while they're with their boyfriend/girlfriend. I mean, I've been to the movie's with my friend and this guy she was kind of seeing and it wasn't awkward. As long as I'm friends with both people I couldn't care less that they're dating.

Oh. My. God. I did it, I told her. This has literally been the most terrifying night of my life. Okay, holy shit, I messaged her on facebook and said that I needed to tell her something but not over chat. So she called me, super freaked out, and I was like: "Okay, you have to promise not to be mad at me but... I like girls." Her reaction, you ask? "Oh my god, I know. I've known for a while now." She then proceeded to be mad that I didn't tell her by jumping out of a closet with rainbow coloured confetti like I had planed, oh and I am also getting rainbow socks for a very belated birthday gift this weekend. Hah, wow.

Oh wow, you told her?? :D Good for you!! Man, that must have been tough to psych yourself up to go through with it, I'm way impressed and really happy for you! So she already knew, just like you suspected x) That's awesome. Phew, so does it feel good to get that off your shoulders? Do you think it will change anything between you two?

Heh, the camp was actually religious x) A liberal, christian camp. I liked it, even though I'm not very religious now. That is, I believe in God but I don't go to church every sunday. Anywayyys lol, there was a lot of singing, and yes you could go canoeing AND kayaking xD We had bunk beds and arts and crafts, which I loved, and best of all were the "All Camp Games" where the entire camp would get together and play capture the flag, or color wars, or gold rush, etc. Those were the absolute highlights of the week for me. Best memories x)

Yeah! I remember you telling me about wanting to be a novelist! I say just keep writing and going for it. Even if it doesn't become your main job/source of income, you do it as a hobby and then get something published somewhere down the line. Doesn't that happen to a lot of authors? They have their day job, but they also write on the side and just keep trying publishers until something happens?

Unfortunately I didn't see it happen! *sigh* xD I knew about it right after it happened because someone in my class got a text from someone in that class, and she told everyone immediately x) Oh high school drama, sometimes I weirdly miss you.

Phew, I'm glad the queen has my back, I'll take all your suggestions :D I love Perks of Being a Wallflower, I think we talked about that one! The book is one of my absolute favorites. I've never seen Silver Linings Playbook but I've hears good things about it. I don't know why I haven't seen it yet, I mean, it has Jennifer Lawrence in it, who I'm totally in love with. Lego Movie, yes! Still haven't seen that yet. I'll have to check out To.Get.Her, I've never heard of it. Thanks dude, I'm glad we share similar good tastes in movies x)

Hah, phew, yeah I can't imagine dancing to that on a stage in a costume like that. Maybe after a few drinks...? Nope, still can't picture it xD But I'm sure the dance is awesome! The song is great.

Self harm? :( You don't do that anymore right? Sorry, I'm being nosy again and feeling more soap box urges x) Cuz I like you too much for you to casually mention something like that without me feeling uneasy about it. I've never talked to counselor before, I've just used my friends as therapists lol. I think it would be hard to really open up to a counselor. I'd just talk about surface things to her. Or if I did talk about deep stuff, I'd probably do something stupid like fall in love with her x)

When you mentioned your mom grabbing your hand and smiling at you, as if she expected you to come out right then, I had to laugh because that is SO something my mom would do haha xD It would become a 'big moment,' she's way too dramatic to let it be anything but x) Ahhh, I'll wait a little longer for that. But yeah, I really don't like the stigma against bisexuals, since if I had to pick a label, which I don't want to do, it would probably be bisexual. What I don't like about having a label is that it makes it seem like you are stuck in one category and I don't think sexuality is like that. It's fluid, it's on a continuum, it evolves over time. Even if someone is completely straight, their sexuality is different when they're a teenager, vs when they're a young adult, vs middle age and so on. That this natural fluidity could stretch to being attracted to someone of the same gender does not seem outrageous or abnormal to me.

Friendship threesome are great, aren't they?? I reference Harry Potter as evidence!! But there's real life evidence too x) It's never awkward with the three of us, and when I'm with someone again, hopefully it won't be awkward for him to be around the two of us either. I have been in an awkward third wheel situation before with a friend and her boyfriend when I was in high school though x) It was actually a double date, and a blind date for me, which I swear I will never, ever do again. So it was her and her boyfriend and me and this random dude that she knew and the two of them were all lovey dovey the whole night and the two of us were like kill me now. xD It was not funny then though, just painful. The thing is, both of us put in valiant effort lol. We tried really hard to get a good conversation going but there was just no spark.

Speaking of Harry Potter, I really want to go the Harry Potter land in Florida. I've been once, but they added a new section to the park :D

Ahh, oh my goodness! My trio this year is basically this RP in dance form, holy shit. Okay, so it's about having your "desire" (the thing that you cherish the most) taken away from you. It is a really violent, tragic piece and it makes me really emotional, but anyways! Myself and one of my partners are "logic and reason" personified (I am logic and I have a white costume and she is reason with a black one). The third girl is "desire" and she has a grey costume with this red ribbon wrapped around her torso. It looks really cool and kind of bloody. So basically the entire thing is a power struggle between Logic and Reason vs Desire. At the end we start ripping the rope from around her body and she is like thrown around the stage and it is super raw and conceptual and awkward and beautiful. Then she ends up on the floor with the rope still around her wrists and it is kinda like we have made her into our prisoner or puppet or whatever you want to call it and have just stripped everything away from her. But today, we started walking off holding the rope and "reason" looked at me and the look on her face was something that I could imagine Lisette looking like (smug, powerful, malevolent) and I nearly died when it clicked how alike this and the routine are.

It feels so good! I was like explaining everything that I've said to you (minus the whole liking her thing) and she was totally cool with it. I don't think anything is gonna change at all, to be honest, she isn't weird about it at all, in fact she was the one who started the conversation about it today when we were together and she was super pumped. But she told her mom (which doesn't bug me, she is like my second mom anyways and literally treats me like one of her kids) and her mom knew too! I don't think I'm doing a very good job at hiding this... heh.

That actually sounds like so much fun! I went to a girl guides camp once when I was younger which was fun, but we only stayed two nights and it was over with too fast. The closest I've ever been to going to a real sleep-away camp was when I got invited to a Math camp in Ottawa this year, heh. I couldn't go because it was an inconvenient time but I wish I could! Not exactly like the type of camp you went to, but still!

Basically yeah, that's what most novelists do. Unless you're like Stephen King and can pop out a book like it's nothing. I'll probably keep writing my whole life, publishing a novel is one of the first things on my to-do list!

Don't ever say that, aha. High school drama I will never miss you! XD But, oh my goodness, I got to school today and one of the windows was smashed and I laughed so hard! Apparently someone threw a rock at it.

I cried during Silver Linings, I just love Jennifer Lawrence's acting almost as much as I love Emilia Clark's. I feel like Jennifer's character in that movie, though, would have been a really different/difficult role to play. Haha, anyways hope you like those movies. To.Get.Her is a low budget film but it is really worth it!

I do it sober and willingly, what does that say about me? >.< Haha, but it isn't a bad routine, and I've done well with it. But not as well as some of my other solos and oh my god now I have to brag because this is actually the most exciting thing that as ever happened to me!!! At my last competition my student choreography solo (meaning I was the one who made it up) won overall Student Choreo with a 94! I beat out this one girl who is absolutely amazing and her OC was in her best style which is acro, so that felt kinda great!

Well this is awkward, wow I am so sorry. For some reason I thought I told you about that, but I think I just told you about the whole friend drama I went through (which is one of the biggest reasons why). But no, I don't do it anymore. I get that it is super hard to understand so I won't try and make you, I don't really enjoy that I've done this but I was in a bad place and I couldn't really express all of the emotions that I had. It was just easier to feel something physical I guess. If you've ever known someone whose done it before they would probably explain it as a release, like all the negative energy just kind of disperses which seems really morbid, I know, but that is how it feels (pain actually releases an endorphin in the body that gives it adrenaline). But after a while it becomes like an addiction, I sometimes still crave it even though I know how bad it is for my body and I won't ever let myself go back there. As for my guidance counsellor, it is really hard to open up and some of the questions she asked me were really upsetting but it made me realize a lot about myself. I don't think that there is any chance of me falling in love with her though, haha, maybe if she weren't old. XD

Oh if I told my mom my entire family would know in about a day and they would probably through a party. They'd love it. I have a cousin who is gay, I don't like him 'cause he is just a seriously weird person (one year he made his boyfriend's kid get in our family pictures and then a couple months later they broke up, so now we have some rando kid in our pic), so they wouldn't be all weird about it.

... Okay, I am not sure how much I can express in words how beautiful that was. Oh my goodness. You have a really great way with words, just the way you explained that is so perfect. I keep re-reading it and crying, oh wow. "it's on a continuum, it evolves over time" Do you even realize how amazing that sounds? Okay, that was so over dramatic of me but holy perfection. Would you mind if I used that as a text post on tumblr or something like it?? Maybe a quote would be better... but please?

Haha, that is so great! Once when I was with my friend and her bf at the movies I told them both that I was the Harry to their Ron and Hermione. Harry Potter = Perfection. I think it's so nice that you're all cool with each other, like that is true friendship right there! :) You went on a blind date? I've honestly always wanted to do that, even just for the experience. I think it would be fun. Although, I do think that situation would be pretty awful, gag me XD

I want to go to Harry Potter land, omg I am such a potterhead it isn't even funny!!

Edit: Sorry if that post isn't edited very well >.< I don't know if I'll get another chance to post anything for the next couple of days, I'm going to Moncton and won't have my computer, so I figured I should get something up :p

Woah, that really is just like our RP :O That's crazy! It sounds really beautiful, what's the music that goes with it? I feel like I also see things all the time that remind me of our RP, like a comment that someone makes or a song on the radio, and I'll think hey that reminds me of Lisette, or I could see Charlie feeling that way x) Clearly it's on my mind. Nothing as perfect as your routine though!

I'm so glad it went well with your friend! That makes me so happy x) And her mom already knew too, lol. So do you think you'll tell your parents about it? It's not like you have to feel rushed to tell everyone at once, but I bet the thought of telling them doesn't seem as bad now.

It really was so much fun! I would love to be a camp counselor at a camp like that one summer, but probably not a religious one. That was the only over-night camp I went to, but I went to a couple day camps too. Oooh math camp x) I wonder what that would be like? My brother's doing an aerospace engineering camp this summer. That's what he wants to do in the future so he's super excited, even though he doesn't really show it lol.

Ahaha! xD what a coincidence! That's funny, I would've laughed too. Yeah, I guess I don't really want the drama back lol, life is much easier without it.

Oh no, is Silver Linings going to make me cry? D: Well, I do like emotional movies, I'm sure I'll like it. I think I'll watch it by myself. I never cry at movies when I'm with someone else, even my family. I'm just like, hold it in, hold it in x) We watched Fatal Attraction last night and it was so good. I'd already seen it. It's pretty scary actually, have you seen it? It's about a dude who cheats on his wife with a woman who turns out to be sort of insane. With Michael Douglas and Glenn Close.

Haha, I think it says that you are talented and passionate about dance! And oh wow, that is really impressive, congratulations!! So you create the whole dance and then perform it? That's pretty amazing. What was your routine like? What was the music? Is acro like acrobatic?

I don't know if I can say that I completely understand it, but I'm sure that it must have been a really tough time for you :/ I guess I can see how a person might get addicted to the release of adrenaline, especially if they feel like they're unable to feel emotion properly. I'm glad it's a thing of the past for you now and it shows strength that you were able to get past it. Just so you know, your writing suggests a great depth of emotional intelligence. You describe certain subtle, nonverbal cues in your characters to imply what they're feeling and you react to mine beautifully. I don't know what I'm trying to say exactly, just that, you don't have to feel emotionally stunted because you're definitely not. You feel it all! I know that I get overwhelmed with feeling sometimes until it's just exhausting x) I guess actually getting it out is a whole other matter.. Writing to the rescue!! x) Just naming what I'm feeling (which sounds kind of stupid I know) and writing it down makes it better. But obviously you must know all of this already since you're here, doing this fabulous, totally emotional RP with me, and you don't need me to tell you all this - some random girl on the internet x) Anyways, I don't mean to sound so mushy, but it's a relief to hear that it's something you're done with.

Some random kid in your pictures lol xD That's great that your family would not only be ok with it, but they'd actually celebrate!

Oh, thank you! <3 That's genuinely how I feel about it. And yeah, feel free to paraphrase it or do whatever you want with it, I'd be flattered! x) Actually, I keep re-reading your compliment, cuz it makes me feel really good x) So we're even lol.

Yay! We can both be Harrys to our Ron/Hermione friends respectively xD We need to find our Ginny though. Hah, I hope if you do go on a blind date, you have a better experience! It's a fun idea...that can turn out so badly x) Just make sure you reallllyy trust the judgement of the person setting you up xD

You should go, it's amazing!! I was 20 when I went and I bought a wand :D #dontcare. Harry Potter is the best, I'm such a potterhead too. Have you ever watched A Very Potter Musical?? So hilarious!! I wish another book series like it would come out. My friends and I and even my brother would go the midnight releases of the books and the movies.

Your post was great, no worries! Is Moncton a town? It's ok that you can't post (although I'll miss ya) because I just got the most exciting news today!! My friend and old roommate who I always mention is driving down from Canada to the states to visit a bunch of people including me and I can't wait to see her!! 8D I'm so excited I can't even tell you. I haven't seen her in so long. She's coming on Saturday, and staying for a couple days, so I might not get the chance to be on that much those few days. I'll reply before then of course ;)

Right? I told you!! Haha, that all happens to me, too! Like, all the time XD Heh, I guess we're just awesome people with awesome writing abilities! This is the song, by the way! It's called Adagio for Strings but we call the routine Adagio for Desire.


I don't think I'll tell them just yet. I don't know, I'm just not there. Like I said, my mom is a big blabber mouth (it's just part of her charm) and I don't want it to be public knowledge atm. If the wrong people find out things could be bad. Haha, but I did accidentally let it slip to two of my friends in gym today >.< My friend Skylar just recently came out and he was saying how he told his closet friend over the phone and stuff and I stupidly piped up. "Oh, me too! That's what I did." To which he reacted "But Emily, you're not gay.... wait.... are you?" Followed by an awkward silence as we walked down the roads. I finally answered the question with a twirl.

Well, actually it was a computer science camp, I would have been taking apart computers and stuff like that. I wanted to go mostly because it was an all expenses paid trip and the only thing I hate about travelling is the expense. XD Aerospace engineering, ooh fancy! He must be super smart... haha.

It might not make you cry, it's not too bad. Just some parts in it I found really emotional! Hah, when you said that about not crying while watching movies with other people all I could think was "Conceal, don't feel. Hide the pain." Werk it Frozen! Fatal Attraction seems like it would be really good! I've seen like the trailer and stuff but I really want to see the entire thing.

Thank you!! :) Haha, the routine is called Forgetting (the song is by David Grey) and it is just a really emotional contemporary piece. It's about losing pieces of yourself that you thought were important so that you can grow and evolve into a better person and become more in touch with who you are. Very fitting for me this year. And yeah, acrobatics! So like, flips and bendy stuff!

It really is a drug, and I have an addictive personality as it is so that doesn't help my case any. But yeah, I am done although I wouldn't say I have "gotten past it" yet, hah. Considering it was only last month that I actually stopped. I'm working on it, though. Also, I'm gonna say thank you... I think that required a thank you? Hehe, that actually made me feel a lot better for some reason. I do find it easier now to pour all of my emotions into my writing, it's just that sometimes I don't think that the English language has the words to describe how I feel, like I'll have all this emotion balled up inside and can't find any kind of outlet for it. This is when I use dancing, though, and let my movements say what I can't form into words. Also, thanks for caring, it doesn't sound mushy - it actual means a lot. You would be surprised at the amount of people who just don't give a shit.

Omg, I totally just quoted it, I didn't paraphrase it or anything though. It was already perfect! It's the first post! You're also welcome (encouraged) to have a look at the rest of my blog but I am warning you now there is some really heart wrenching stuff on there and also a lot of hilarious (and by that I mean inappropriate) text posts and stuff, hah. I'm glad I succeeded in making you feel good, it really is amazingly worded.

Hahaha, I don't know if I;m gonna rush into anything on the whole "finding my Ginny" thing. Dating is scary.... DX haha. I like taking risks though, and I am super personable so I could probably make a blind date work! Maybe...

I want a wand! Oh man, I am so jealous! But that actually reminds me! I'm going cosplaing with one of my best friends and I'm dressing up as Sansa Stark and she is being Cersei Lannister! Oh my god, it's going to be great (I am seriously not a big a nerd as that seems... a will make a very hot Sansa Stark thank-you-very-much *defiantly nods*). Heh, anyways! Nooo! I haven't seen that but I feel like I need to now! Haha, and I feel like that would be fun, going to the midnight releases! Did you like pull a groupie move and camp out on a sidewalk or something? XD

Okay, thanks :) But yeah, Moncton is the capital of New Brunswick so it's like a city. I'm only gone until Sunday night after the competition ends but after that I really need to start refocusing on school. My bio mark is slowly slipping through the cracks DX Aww, that is so exciting about your friend!! I can only imagine how pumped you are :) Do you have any plans for when she comes down? *cough* go get poutine, she is Canadian *cough* XD

Oh wow, the music's beautiful and totally emotional. So how long will you guys practice the piece before you perform it?

Yeah, I feel ya on the whole "don't want to tell parents cuz they might feel the need to announce it to the world for me." x) But it's cool, they'll know eventually. Haha, you answered with a twirl, that's adorable xD Coming out casually to people who are totally fine with it is the best. Man it seems like you're all set - you have him to talk about it with plus your other friend, and maybe your cousin too? There is no one in my extended family who is gay, or at least out lol, I'm the first that I know of. Of course, my extended family is Mormon...yeah. So those two things don't exactly mix heh. My immediate family isn't Mormon. After my parents got married and before they had me, they left the church because they couldn't stand it anymore. The fact that we're the only non-Mormons on my dad's side can be a little awkward at our annual family reunions (they all live in California) but we still all get along pretty well.

Yeah, I guess he is pretty smart x) Not too high on motivation for school, but he gets good grades anyway, the little dweeb. Haha, my mom's been fussing over him at home because apparently he's going to prom next weekend and still needs to get a tux and everything x) He's not exactly a smooth ladies man, he's kind of quiet around girls, but he doesn't really realize how handsome and likeable he is. He had a couple girls ask him to prom, which he doesn't even really want to go to lol.

Conceal, don't feel. Story of my life x) How melodramatic of me xD But Elsa was awesome and I think there really is an intentional message for gay youth in that movie. And for anyone else who feels like that too of course. Saying it might piss off some people though.

Flips and bendy stuff, cool! Do you do that style too?? That's way impressive. You're routine sounds amazing. I love how conceptual all these performances are.

I wish I could be like, stop don't do it anymore! But I know it doesn't work like that. I have an addictive personality too. It's mostly people that I get addicted to heh, which makes me sound like a total creeper, but there are other things too. Just so you know, it doesn't make me uncomfortable for you to talk about it if it comes up again and you want to, I won't judge you.

Aww you did post it! My ego is swelling haha! xD I definitely laughed when I saw "some random girl on the internet." I loved that. Also I spent an embarrassingly long time looking through your tumblr, I won’t admit how long x) A lot of the posts made me actually laugh out loud xD Most were totally emotional and I got sucked in. I wish I knew you in real life. How sappy does that sound? Haha, but really, I felt like I was reading my own thoughts/insecurities/desires. It was cool and startlingly relatable. Mind if I check it out every once in a while? And seriously, when the school year’s over and you’re like, oh hello free time, you should watch Orange is the New Black because you will love it x)

Have you ever taken the Myers-Briggs personality test? You might be thinking, pffft, personality tests don’t work on me, I can skew the answers. Or that they’re too generic to tell you anything new. But the results for this one are so scarily accurate, if you give honest answers. I cried when I read mine because it helped a lot of things click for me. It's not just random internet quiz, it was a psychological test developed by this dude Carl Jung, to study how people see the world and make decisions. I think I know what you might get, I think INFJ, like me, or something close. You don't have to do it lol, it's pretty long, but if you're ever bored...

Cosplaying as Sansa Stark, nice! x) I've never done any kind of cosplay before, but there was cosplay festival in Okazaki when I went to Japan! People went all out. And I know people dress up for Comic Con of course, in San Diego. Haha, we never camped out, but we did wait four or five hours more than once! Totally worth it. I guess that makes me a big nerd for Harry Potter, but I am ok with this x)

Yeah, school definitely comes first. So will you be offline like the whole week or...? Just not on as much? But yeah I'm so excited to see her, I've been running around doing errands, buying food, cleaning to get ready. I'm going to make dinner for us and another of our friends a couple nights, so adult right?? xD I also need to get one nice bottle of wine cuz that's what she likes, although to be honest I prefer beer...not so adult anymore x) I would love to go get poutine with her but honestly I don't even know where to find it here! I have never seen it in any place I've lived. Did you ever stumble across it when you went to New York? I think it's a true Canadian thing x) I'll have to go try it when I eventually come to Canada to visit her.


I have some ideas for our RP. I think Charlie should eventually be turned by one of the vampires, maybe Mila. But before then, what if we had Booker and Lisette steal Charlie away for a while until Mila decides to play a little more nicely with them? They know they can’t just kill Char because then Mila would never do anything they wanted her to do. They could somehow have her do it, accidently or otherwise, but that would take some time to work up to, not something that could happen “tonight,” the RP’s tonight. So I think it would be interesting if the night ended with Booker whisking Charlie away alive to some secret place, and Lisette hanging around to give Mila her options. There are two: Play my game and see the girl again…or don’t and have fun imagining what Booker decides to do with her. We could have them both resist their respective “captors” for a while, but eventually they might give in to their temptations just a little. When they see each other again, they might both be a little changed…

This has the added benefit of letting us play our characters one on one for a while, instead of juggling interactions between four people, which is tougher - not that we can’t handle it xD being our awesome selves, but it’ll give us a bit of a break. It’s easier to get in their heads too, when it’s one on one. We can play out the interest that Booker has in Charlie and the weird attraction/repulsion/envy that Mila and Lisette have for each other. Poor Charlie though x) But she won’t just get tossed around forever, it’ll come around. So what do you think? Foresee any problems with this direction? I kinda set it up already in my last post, but we can easily swing it in another direction.

Well, usually we start routines sometime in the summer or early fall and then compete them in spring. So we started Adagio in August sometime and we competed it for the last time this weekend. This coming year, though, we aren't having the usual two week break before beginning the next season. It's actually crazy... haha. This weekend coming up is Nutcracker auditions and then the following week we have to re-audition for the elite group I am in and then that weekend is our showcase for elite and recital for the rest of the school. Then we're starting routines for next year right away, since one of our major choreographers is leaving to travel Europe for a year.

Yeah, I'm just gonna wait to tell them. They don't need to know just yet. Okay, I didn't know what to say... so I twirled. I didn't actually mean to tell them! I have no filter, you see, so sometimes I say things without thinking and it is honestly really bad/inappropriate/compromising XD Haha, but it was really nice and we did have a great conversation. Haha, I don't know if I could ever talk to my cousin though, like I said he is really annoying. He deleted our entire family off facebook... like sorry we're not good enough for you.. :p But your extended family are Mormon? That is really cool actually. I don't know much about that religion/way of life but I do find it interesting. That must be a little weird though at your family reunions, do you guys get together often?

Wow, jealous. I wish I could just get good grades... I have to study my butt off and it is honestly kind of exhausting. But aww, he's shy! That's adorable, I'm sure that his prom will go great!

I agree, the subtle messages in that movie are great. It's definitely one of the best Disney films ever.

*laughs hysterically* I loath acro. Okay, that may be a little bit much but I don't really like it. I mean, yeah I am flexible (not as much as I would like to be... I'm working on it!) but I don't do all the crazy tumbling and contortion stuff. It wears your body down too much, even though it is really impressive. Also, thank you!

Dude, you have no idea how much I wish it worked like that.. if I could just turn off all of the negative feelings, that would be marvelous. Heh, addicted to people. That isn't creepy I do the same thing, then I feel like I am smothering them. Anyways, thanks for saying that. A lot of people would judge me for it, and a lot of people treat me differently because of it. I can't stand being pitied, and that is what certain people who know do and a little part of me can never forgive them for that. So it means a lot that you would say that.

I actually got complimented on how a quoted it!! My sister said she liked the whole 'random girl on the internet' thing and I giggled. Oh, also my best friend loved it and she reblogged and so did some rando person which I was pumped about! You have honestly made my day, oh wow. Ha, I guess now you know every single thing about me because my blog is literally like a window into my mind, honestly now you probably know more about me then 99% of the people in my everyday life. I'm really glad that you liked it and found it relatable, it really does mean a lot to me. Feel free to go on it all you want, I don't mind at all!! Ooh, I really have been meaning to watch that show... I'll have to this summer for sure :)

Okay... so I just took that test and it is so freaking accurate, oh my god. Here is a link to what I got. Like, all of that applies to me, holy man.

Aha, this will be my first time cosplaying! I'm pumped, but I'm only going if it isn't super expensive to get the costume and all of that. I've gone to a Comic con type thing before, my friend made me dress up as super woman! Heh, so yeah don't worry about being a harry potter nerd because I am just an all around nerd.. XD

I will probably just be on a little less. I'm actually not going to school tomorrow because I am absolutely exhausted from this weekend, so I'll probably get caught up on homework and write a post at some point. Exams are coming up so quickly and it is scary... DX Ooh, look at you all grown up and stuff! That sounds like such a blast, and you know what... it's also okay not to be all super adult-y. You do you, girl. How long is she staying for?? I can't remember if there was poutine in NY...I just see it all the time everywhere so I just kinda assumed. You totally do have to try it though!

Ooh, I really do like that idea a lot. The motive behind them taking Char is good, that mixed with the character's macabre personalities makes sense. I am also really into the whole giving into their temptations/changing bit there. It could really aid with character development. Although, I will admit that I am a little weary about having Charlie change just yet. I mean, obviously it is going to happen, and maybe this is just me being completely obsessed with this character (you have no idea how much I have poured into her, she is literally me), but I don't know if this is exactly the right time. What I see happening is that she changes and then after the initial strife (Char not wanting to be a vampire, hating Mila, etc.) it will get a little boring... I mean of course we could definitely come up with some other plot twist to throw in afterwards but I am almost leaning towards the idea of a tragic "Romeo and Juliette"-esque love story. (Oh my hopelessly romantic heart flutters, oh the cliche) and I also will admit that another reason is that I am a conceited bitch and I had some really cool ideas for Charlie's emotional trouble for later on; like debating what type of life she wants for herself (Does she want a family, kids and a wife with a white picket fence lifestyle? Does she want to grow old? Does she really want to live forever? etc). Although now that I think about it, I may be able to insert all of that in another way with your idea... anyways it doesn't matter too much, whatever you think is best!

That is a very fabulous idea. I mean, interactions between four characters isn't too bad, but a break would be nice, like you said. Ooh, and exploring more into these characters interactions/feelings for and with each other will definitely be fun. I am totally in for this idea!

Holy smokes, that really is a crazy schedule! :O I feel exhausted for you omg xD Isn't it a lot of pressure to have audition after audition? Or are you pretty much a pro at that by now?

Nah, we don't visit them very often since they live on the other side of the country, and it would be too expensive for all of them to fly out to meet us. We always have to go to them (which I like because I love California, and airplane trips). We don't have too much in common with them since their lives are very much wrapped up with the church and ours aren't, and yet our personalities and humor are like exactly the same. I don't really even know that much about Mormonism except what I've read on Wikipedia heh. When I try to pry info from my parents about it, they put up a wall lol, which I expect from my dad but it baffles me when my mom does it. I mean, she's the type to tell some random person in the grocery store our family's deepest secrets and life history, but she gets weirdly defensive when I ask about her religious past. But...it's not like I'm an open book about everything either, and it's obviously a sore subject, so I should probably let it go. I do love spending time with my extended family though. The last time we visited them was this past Christmas actually, so pretty recently. They're really fun to be around. Mormons are all about big families and harmonious community, so they always plan games and feasts and special outings and there are always like five newborn cousins each time, who's names I have to try to remember xD Mostly its just weird when they want us to go to church. No joke, my dad always plans our trip so that we're not there on a Sunday for that very reason x)

I'm sure it will too x) I bet he's secretly looking forward to it, even though he's dragging his feet to get ready for it.

Oh yeah, I didn't even think about the toll that must take on your body. It does look really cool though. You're probably like crazzzy flexible compared to the average person though, right? x)

Yeah, I'm like that too, about not wanting to be pitied. It makes me not want to let other people know when I'm dealing with some issue, because the last thing I want is to look like I'm asking for special treatment. I also just tend to be a little protective of my inner self. I feel like I make friends really easily, but on a superficial level. And I can talk to basically anyone about anything (and I do all the time as a cashier lol) especially their personal stuff, but it's more rare for me to really open up about my own even when the other person considers me a close friend. And it's mostly because I know people don't really care, like you said, but I think it's also because I'm better at, or maybe more interested in, understanding other people's feelings/motives than my own sometimes.

Hah, that's funny x) And I'm glad your best friend liked it! Yeah, I really did enjoy your blog, and the music too! I forgot to mention that. Anyways, I feel kind of honored or something that you showed it to me, so thanks. x)

INFP, I can so see it! And sort of similar to me, INFJ, but more like a compliment than a twin. That's not to say that you can be put into some box or cookie cutter category, just that those characteristics might be relatable to you. I read that an INFP score is really rare, like less than 5% of the population. I confess, I'm sort of weirdly into this personality stuff x) Don't roll your eyes or anything, it's pretty interesting! xD I stumbled across a couple personality profiles for INFP, like this one about being a Dreamy Idealist, and this other one that made me laugh xD It'd be silly to take the results too seriously, but it's still freaking accurate sometimes, like you said.

Oh wait, does dressing up like a zombie from the Walking Dead count as cosplaying?? Cuz I've done that!! I won a zombie costume contest with it too!! My boyfriend at the time and I won as a couple xD It was too fun. He was an artist too so we went a little overboard with special effects type makeup x) It was gory and amazing. I love dressing up, I should do a real cosplay sometime. Like, Halloween is my second favorite holiday x) So you're gonna be Sansa huh, man I feel so bad for her in the series. That was heart wrenching when she was trying to convince her creepy aunt that the even creepier Little Finger hadn't done anything with her.

Yeah, you're right, I don't know why I feel so much pressure to be more mature and adult-like lol, I have the rest of my life to do that x) I think I'll feel like a kid forever on the inside. Plus, one of the last times I hung out with this girl, we had a hand standing contest and then made a blanket fort in our apartment living room, haha so I think I can relax xD She'll be here tomorrow night and then she's leaving Friday morning and going to another friend's place and then soon after that she's going back up to far away Canada ;_;

Too bad we don't have poutine at McDonald's!

I totally get it, and yeah you're right, it's too early for her to change just yet. She's yours and so of course you should be the one to call the shots as far as how her character evolves and when. That's funny that you say she's literally you, because I definitely pour some of my own self into Mila's personality - not that I'm quite as graceful and stunning as she is heh ;) but the slight desire to be the one in control, maybe be a teensy bit manipulative, somewhat just a little arrogant/proud...jeez all the bad things xD Also empathetic. And uh, we both have dark brown hair too xD Haha, but also feeling guilt for letting someone you care about down in some way, or feeling guilt because they thought you were one type of person and you're really more awful and selfish than they realize. Obsessive tendencies, better add that too x) Moving around a lot, leaving people.

So yeah, we can certainly wait on Charlie changing. I think you made a good point about it becoming a little boring if we jump the gun on that. Having her go through that sort of emotional trouble you mentioned would be really interesting. I'm also attracted to the idea of a "Romeo and Juliette"-esque love story. But do you mean... like, she dies in Mila's arm or something? That would be so sad though x) My ridiculously optimistic heart shudders... But I guess, from the beginning, this story could never have a happy, skipping off into the sunset ending. Have you ever ended an RP before? I never have xD

Let's see how this direction goes and if it starts to get stagnant, we'll just shake it up again x) I hate knowing that eventually, all good things come to an end, but I want to keep this alive in the best way! It's far from the end.

EDIT: Heh, I also found this hilarious blog post, the Myers-Briggs Asshole Index x) It has a short paragraph for each type that exaggerates their not so good qualities.

I actually lied about the nutcracker auditions DX I thought they were this weekend but they're actually at the end of the month... this weekend is the deadline to sign up for auditions so they can make the schedule. These auditions aren’t even that bad, though. I mean it is my dance teachers who run them and they all know how we dance so it isn’t that bad. I auditioned for the Royal Winnipeg Ballet earlier this year and that was terrifying. During the master class the choreographer started yelling at the pianist. But I am far from a pro, haha! I get so nervous before things like this, and not at all before I go on stage, it's weird.

It’s really sweet that you guys all get along so well. It must be nice that just because your parents left the church, they aren’t shunned like with Amish communities. Although I can kind of understand them being defensive about it, I feel as if, and I mean this with absolutely no disrespect, religions like Mormonism have very extreme beliefs that aren’t for everyone. I have nothing at all against religion, I’m just not big into it myself. I tried to be, because my family are all very catholic, church going people, but it wasn’t for me. One thing that I do really like that you said about Mormonism is that they value big families. My mom has five siblings and each one has at least two children; so there are twelve grandkids in total and then six great grandchildren already. But that must be tiny compared to your extended family... I don’t think I’d be able to remember a bunch of names without seeing them all the time, heh. Just out of curiosity, though, do they celebrate christmas?

Depends on what your take on crazy flexible is, I guess! :p I mean I have my over split on my right leg but my left split has been teetering between there and not quite there and my center is okay. Although all of this is probably a foreign language to you.. heh.

Exactly how I feel! When my cousin found out about my issues she forced me to tell my parents, her exact words were “You tell them or I will” and then she texted me later that night “I’ve been in bed crying ever since I got home”. Who in the fuck does she think she is for saying something like that to me? She thinks she knows shit about shit because she’s 25 and lives by herself, but she honestly knows nothing and every time I see her I can’t help but see the pity in her eyes and it makes me just not want to be around her where we use to be really good friends. I get that about making superficial friends, I feel like to an outsider I look like I’m really cool/popular because I can get along with a lot of people but honestly there is maybe three people who I would consider my true friends and I can’t even really talk about how I feel with them because they have their own issues that they’re dealing with. So yeah, I get you. I think the only reason that I’ve been able to open up so much to you is because I don’t know you in real life and it is easier to say stuff over a computer screen and without fear of it coming up in face to face conversation.

Wow, I feel kind of honoured that you liked it so much XD It makes me super duper happy...

Now I feel special... it’s rare? Ooh! Hehe! I don’t think that is weird at all, you’re talking to the person who is excited about cutting up dead things remember? (holy that sounds creepy if you didn’t know the context) But yeah, personalities and stuff are really cool. The dreamy idealist so totally related to me until it hit the part about them “not falling head over heels in love”... yeah that one isn’t me. *Sighs* Tbh though I didn’t read that other one yet because I was too lazy, haha. I will eventually! Yeah, it really is kind of silly to dwell over an internet rating of what “type of personality” you are, but it’s just so gosh darn cool!

That so totally counts omg I love it! That must have been so much fun... especially winning the award because winning things is super awesome.. but all of that about over the top make up/costumes is amazing! Did you guys buy all your stuff or make it? Oh my god, I love halloween too! Next year I am wearing this leather bodysuit I wore for my jazz routine this year (it is so sassy, oh my goodness) with a tail and ears and going as catwoman >.< It works so perfectly, but I so swear I am not one of those girls who wear low cut tops and little ears and say they dressed up when really they’re just looking for attention. Anyways, yes! Sansa! I’m a ginger so it works really well, haha.

uewfgeurfge Don’t even get me started on Little Finger! He is such a creep, and I know his motives are borderline rape.. *profanity* I hate him.

Everyone feels the pressure to be grown up and mature, if I had it my way I would sit around all day watching cartoons and cracking childish jokes whilst eating pop tarts and kraft diner but y’know... I don’t even think that one would be okay at all... But you know what.. you’re right! We do have the rest of our lives to pay bills and go to work and drink wine, so werk. That’ll be super fun, I love getting together with old friends and just catching up! It’s great. And, hey! We aren’t that far away... only y’know up there with the polar bears in our igloos and stuff.

Phew, glad that you understand! I don't see anything wrong with those personality traits... not at all. Then again, I like people who aren't super flighty and uppity all of the time, 'cause that's not how I am. Wow... okay that took a spin, you all cool? I may be over analyzing the situation, but if you have anything to say, go for it. No judgment here, you should know that one, heh. I usually pour all of the bad stuff into my characters too, a lot of my thoughts/feelings about cutting can be seen through the subtle things that Char does. And she is really broken, in her life a lot of people have fucked her over and that kind of portrays how I feel a lot of the time. Also I am really distant, and lonely. She is so, so lonely, oh my goodness. I don't know if I'm doing a good job showing a lot of personality, and I know that I've barely scratched the surface with her family (did you know that she has two older twin brothers named Michael, a substitute teacher who is married with a baby on the way, and Morgan, a stud-muffin med student who doesn't want to settle down? There is more, too, but I think I'll stop myself for fear of going overboard). But she is honestly the deepest character that I have ever created.

Woah, yeah I wasn't think about going that far.... although it is certainly an idea. Okay, no, we can't do that but tbh the temptation is real. I'm the type of writer who likes to shake things up and kill off their main character, it's my edge XD I just meant more of the forbidden love, knowing that they really shouldn't be together, that in some sense it is wrong, so I guess more like modern day cliche stories, but Romeo and Juliette just sounds so much more romantic and tragic and this certainly shouldn't have a happy ending, happy endings are for losers :p No! I've never ended a RP, can we make that our goal? As sad as it sounds, I think that every great story should have some kind of an ending, and I will admit that I have briefly thought about it... not that I want this to end any time soon!

I agree, I like how so far this has been kind of telling itself with minimal planning from us, it makes it more interesting and a lot less predictable. I think that this could go far, and honestly it is already the best role play I have ever done so y'know I'm glad that this isn't the end, so soon! Haha

Oh my goodness, that was hilarious! I loved it XD

Woah, the Royal Winnipeg Ballet. That does sound really official and terrifying x) Did you do well? Why did the choreographer yell at the pianist?

They're not shunned now, heh, but apparently my grandmother went through a pretty hostile period with my mom because my grandmother was convinced that she had tempted her son, my dad, away from the church or something ridiculous like that, and that's why they left - when of course my dad openly admits that he never felt part of it when he was growing up. I love my grandmother and she doesn't feel like that anymore, but sometimes I do pick up on some tension between her and my mom lol. Of course, that's sort of how it goes right, mother-in-laws and wives having a little bit of a power struggle, that's nothing new. Mormon's have pretty strange beliefs about the afterlife and a whole weird mythology thing with Jesus living in America at one point or some crazy shit like that, I'm not even really sure to be honest. They have temple rituals and wear special garments under their clothes at all times. They're not allowed to smoke, or drink alcohol, or even caffeine. Really though, if you met a Mormon, chances are they would be totally "normal" and probably really sweet. You might know some Mormons actually. There were a few dudes in my high school who were and I never even knew until like senior year. Really they are totally normal and likeable. Their beliefs aren't for everyone, but I don't think the word extreme would pop into your head if you met one. But Fundamentalist Mormons are a whole different story xD Like polygamy and stuff? Yeah, that's extreme to me.

Oh yeah, I couldn't name all my cousins right off the bat to save my life xD Ahh, that's terrible. Let's see, my dad has six siblings, all married and everyone has at least four kids, (except for our black sheep family) but Aunt Shana has eight and then two of her daughters have a kid, and my Uncle Mike's kids all have kids. Uncle Tom just had his fifth, my Aunt Linda just got remarried and her new husband has three kids and his daughter has a kid... I should make a chart for myself, I can't keep track xD And yes, since Mormonism is a Christian religion, they do celebrate Christmas, and Easter.

Hm, please translate this foreign language xD So...you can do the splits? Haha x) Anyways, it sounds impressive!

Oh wow, that's really rough :/ I would feel just as hurt as you if someone acted that way towards me. Angry too because it would seem like they are just turning the situation toward themselves instead of trying to be understanding. She must care about you though, even if it comes out in a totally unhelpful way. Since I don't know her, I really shouldn't make any assumptions. Do you think she'll ever come around? I completely get the feeling of not being able to talk openly about how I feel with the majority of my friends. There are only a select few who come close, and even then I just feel like I'm asking them to feel sorry for me which I hate. And yeah, it's easiy to be open with you, anonymous behind this computer screen, able to edit everything I say and "pause" the conversation if I feel too emotional. But it's more than that too, I can be open with you because I get the feeling that you are an understanding person. I never anticipated our OOC chat to be anything more than, hey what should we do next in the RP, but wow it's been pretty cathartic, hasn't it? x) I've enjoyed rambling to you and listening to your thoughts.

Yeah "not falling head over heels in love" wouldn't apply to me either x)

Oh we made everything! We bought cheep hipsterish clothes from Walmart and cut them up very carefully so they looked decayed and stuff and we bought a whole spectrum of face paints to get our skin as gross as possible xD We used this wax stuff to create "gouges" and cuts on our faces, necks and hands. And omg, we got this fake blood that literally made me gag when I squirted it out of the tube because it was obscenely realistic. And then we smothered that on ourselves xD haha, it was sooo fun just getting ready. We each did our own faces and then did details for each other. Once we had the clothes on, we cut them up a little more on each other, which was fun too. Nice, your cat woman costume sounds great! I'm not sure yet what I'm going to be this year.. Last year I bought this leather corset at a Scottish festival that came to my university and I made a pirate costume with it, some fishnet stockings, knee high heeled boots, a jagged skirt and cape and a colonial style hat with a feather that my brother got from Colonial Williamsburg x) Yeah, there are always those girls running around, using halloween as an excuse to wear as little clothing as possible.

I love catching up too, I could talk to her for hours! Heh, yeah I guess you're not too far away, oh exotic Canada x) But that reminds me, I need to ask her if she has room in her igloo for me to come stay with her sometime. And say hi to the polar bears for me will you, eh?

Yeah, no, it's all good. I didn't mean to sound so dramatic, there's really no specific thing. I don't know why I'm feeling emotional right now lol, but I think it has something to do with seeing my roommate again soon. Maybe it's just stirring up some old resentments about having to move around so much. I think moving every three years maybe somehow messed me up a little. I think there's something wrong or lacking with my ability to make meaningful, non-shallow relationships with other people. I think I'm totally, totally alone, emotionally, but it's my own fault because I can't stand to feel vulnerable. But you have to be vulnerable and open, don't you, in order to have a real connection with someone. A lot of people I've known have confided in me, but I don't confide in anyone, ever. I think I've turned some potential friends off because they confide in me, then expect me to reciprocate, but I stay secretive, and they realize I don't actually trust them with my secrets and that pisses them off. I feel bad about that. In every relationship I've been in, I've felt like I was holding back. I've wrestled with coming to terms with my sexuality but there's still something in the way and I feel irritated with myself about that. The thing is, my roommate is one person who I do feel pretty open with, but she's not really in my life anymore. She'll be here for a few days and then gone again. I'm feeling prematurely sad about it, which is pretty pathetic, I mean she's not even here yet! It's just like, the closer you get to someone, the more difficult it is to leave them eventually, so staying distant is sort of easier in some ways. But moving on and replacing friendships is natural isn't it. I'm making a big deal out of nothing, everyone goes through this, not just me. I don't know why it makes me so profoundly sad.

I think pouring our "bad stuff" into our characters might make them richer and more relatable, and that's part of what makes our RP so compelling. It's sort of an indirect way for us both to work emotional stuff out, at a nice safe distance. I've actually wondered what characteristics of Charlie might be your own. Her personality comes off strongly to me. Of course, you're also talented enough to write a totally different, but equally believable character for Lisette. Do you think she gets any of your personality? Or she is your opposite? Or else, how does she fit in? I love that you have all this backstory for Charlie x) I do the same with my characters! Imagine all this stuff that might not ever even get mentioned in the RP. It gives the characters depth indirectly I think, because they become more real in your head and then when it comes to writing about them, you're just describing this person who already "exists," and it comes out naturally.

Ok, phew, I'd rather go with the forbidden love of Romeo and Juliette, rather than the dying part. But like you said, it's nice to let things just sort of unfold for themselves and be unpredictable. It makes me want to try all kinds of characters against your characters to see what happens x) You react so naturally and interestingly! At the risk of sounding too flattering, you're the best RP partner I'v ever had! xD I just gotta say it, it's so true. And ditto on this being the best RP I've ever had.

EDIT: Well, its daytime now and when I reread what I wrote in my third to last paragraph, in the wee hours of the morning, it makes me cringe lol. I'm not as mopey as I sounded, just need to get some whining out of my system I guess heh.

Another EDIT: Yes btw let's make that our goal! We'll come up with an appropriate ending and then this whole thing will feel complete, and not like something we abandoned.

Well I didn't get in, haha. I probably wouldn't have joined the company anyways. There is too much pressure at that level. Girls are pushed to have that "perfect ballet body" which is basically super skinny with no boobs. You have to look like a child, which I guess is kind of the only reason a company would look at me anyways. But the pressure causes eating disorders, depression, and other unhealthy things. Ahaha, she yelled at him because he couldn't get the counts for the music right, he got really sassy with her and it was scary/hilarious.

That must have been rough on your parents.. I'm glad that everything worked out for the better! And yeah, aha, I get the whole mother-in-law/daughter-in-law rivalry. My mom and grandmother get along well for the most part but I can tell there is a little bit of tension there, just because they are two completely different women. Okay... so I think my problem is I watch too much television and have an incredibly biased view on what Mormonism, or even Amish lifestyles, are like. I think I should probably shut my mouth now before I talk myself into a hole >.< Ahaha But polygamy, that really is extreme. I don't really agree with it, but y'know whatever... I'm not anyone to judge other people for what they believe.

:O That is so many people.. I wouldn't remember their names either, even though I am good at remembering names. Then again my family names their kids weird shit like "Ketch" (Yes, I really do have a baby cousin named Ketch..). I'm in love with the name Faust for a boy so I'm really in no position to be all judgy. But really? Eight kids? I can't imagine it, that is so crazy! But I will admit that I love big families and I've always wished I had another sibling. Hah, yeah I'd probably need to make a chart, too :p Also, oh! Okay, I wasn't sure, that is interesting to know.

Seriously, sometimes I forget that people don't know what 'Pas de boreas', 'Pirouettes', 'Soutes ' etc are. I say things like that on a daily basis so it doesn't faze me at all, but then again I'm sure that there is some soccer lingo that I wouldn't understand? Hah, in my world it really isn't impressive, but thanks anyways :p

Ugh, seriously I could vent all day about it but I don't want to be shallow. But seriously, I don't know if she'll ever treat me the same again, or if I'll ever be able to trust her again. I know that sounds extreme but if you could feel how hurt I am by it you would understand. She cares, yeah, but I'm really tired of people saying that. I don't care if she cares because she is just turning the whole situation around on herself like always. Anyways, about not be able to talk to friends. Yeah, I seem like I am this super open person who can talk about anything but I tell people about the surface problems. There is no one in this entire world who comes close to actually understanding my complex emotions and I don't know if I could even start to put any of them into words. Although I agree being able to stop and start a conversation when it gets too much, and just the whole animosity thing makes it so much easier to open up. I'm glad that you think I am an understanding person, I like to think I am. I love listening to other peoples problems, as weird as that sounds, and trying to help them. I guess it kind of makes up for the fact that sometimes I feel like I can't help myself. This is going to sound super weird and I really hope you don't think I'm a freak or sometime but I guess I kinda look up to you. There isn't really anyone in my life who I can do that with, I'm usually the one that people turn to for help and not the other way around. So I'm really glad that our OOC posts didn't stay surface, it really has helped me come to terms with a lot of things so really, thanks for that :)

That sounds so fabulous! Oh my goodness, and the whole fake blood thing! That is disgustingly awesome XD I was in Toronto a couple years ago and we were there in October, close to halloween, and they were having their annual Day of the Dead or whatever it's called. It was just kind of getting started while we were walking to the airport but it was cool to see some of the costumes. Was it for a party that you guys dressed up? Ahh, your Pirate costume sounds so amazing, really creative!

Aww, I'm sure it's gonna be a really great couple of days :) The polar bears say hey, by the way, from all the way down here in exotic Canada... XD Haha, but oh my goodness! The weather has actually been so nice lately, it's suppose to get up to 24 degrees celsius on saturday and it has been total shorts/skirts weather. But my school board has started this ridiculous new rule that girls aren't aloud to wear shorts to school anymore because it is "distracting for male students". Like seriously? That is ridiculous! Why should we stop wearing shorts while guys get to go around sagging their pants? I think it is totally inappropriate for the board to say something like that. And really? It's not my fault if they can't keep it in their pants..

I can relate to some of that, especially the part about being alone. I feel like I'm constantly surrounded by people but no one really sees me. It's like I'm not even there to them. Like today I was sitting with two of my friends at lunch and they just started making random plans to hang out all summer and do all this shit together while I was sitting there like 'Oh, thanks for the invite.' Then I felt pathetic because they should be free to make plans without me, they don't have to hang out with me outside of school. But it just hurts, you know. It hurts so much sometimes that I feel like I'm breaking away from the inside, and that my heart has gone cold because it can't take anymore pain. That's really dramatic, but it's how I feel. I know it's hard to remember sometimes, trust me I get it, but you're never really alone.. even if it feels like it. I'm always here to talk, even though it is over the computer, I am willing to listen. I don't really have the whole confiding in people problem, like I said I will tell people things but not go into detail about them, or play it off as not a big deal, like I told my best friend that I like girls and we've talked about it a bit but she thinks that I am super cool and stuff with my sexuality when really I am so fucking confused I don't know what to do. I kind of feel like my entire life I have had myself placed in this perfect little shoe box; Go to university, meet a nice guy, settle down, have a family, grow old, etc. But now I don't know if I want any of that, I mean obviously I want to go to university but all of that other stuff is just kind of mush in my mind now and it almost feels freeing at the same time terrifying. I don't know, it's just freaking me out a lot lately.

It doesn't sound ridiculous at all, that you would be sad about her leaving even before she gets here. You have a right to be upset about it because obviously she is really close to you and letting go of friendships like that is hard. My biggest fear is my best friend leaving, and I don't mean just to travel and go live somewhere else, she's suicidal and I've seen things that I wish I haven't and felt things that no one should ever feel because of it. And it is really hard to watch her struggle like she does. I was watching her on stage the other day and started crying because I just wanted to shake her and scream: "You know that feeling? The feeling you get when you're on stage nailing a routine and the adrenaline is so high and you can't remember anything but the amazing sense of euphoria and rapture? That's called being alive and it's really fucking nice." But sometimes she doesn't see that and it's so scary, even now typing all of this I am starting to cry because it makes me physically ill to think about her ever being gone and I just wish she would see that!! I'm sorry to share something like this with you, she'd never go through with it and there is a lot of people in her life making sure that she won't it's just sometimes I get so caught up in how she feels that I forget to let out how I feel, and now I feel like a selfish asshole.

I definitely agree with that one, characters with depth are so much better than just "fluff" characters. It definitely makes the story that much more interesting. Char is really special to me, and I never intended her to be when I started this but it just kind of happened. Actually, Lisette is so much harder for me to write for. I keep on trying to get into her head, like I've even tried outside writing exercises when I get bored, but she just isn't there yet. She gets my vulgar sense of humour, also I am a huge bitch 99% of the time so she also gets that. Otherwise, Lisette is her own thing. I wouldn't say she is my opposite though, for the most part I channel all of my sass into her XD What about Booker?? Now I'm curious about where he fits! Ahh, you have no idea! Charlie even has extended family... her eighteen-year-old cousin Alice is a teen mom and where that may seem like a really random thing, I made her for a reason! I mean, she's never been mentioned yet but her character serves to personify the thought that Charlie isn't 'good enough' for her family, because despite the fact that Alice had a baby at sixteen Char is still the disgrace of the family. Anyways, I'm working on getting all of this stuff out of my head and written down at some point. I'll share it with you eventually.. if I don't think it will completely ruin the mystique of the character.

More characters can be a thing... just saying we aren't limited to these four and there are a bounty of ideas and other characters that we can try out if you want. I think that keeping it to just a few is boring anyways, heh. But we can talk about that more later.. OH MY GOD THANK YOU THE FEELING IS MUTUAL <3 Really though :)

I get it, no worries :) My "wee hours of the morning" self is like that, too! I don't mind whining, anyways.

Good! But we can do that later 'cause I'm feeling a little bit too emotional already, it's probably best to save that for another day XD

Yeah wow, I can only imagine how much pressure there is at that level and how it could become a slippery slope as far as body image issues :/ The perfect ballet body. Makes me think of Black Swan. That, and toes and feet being in pain makes me think of that movie.

Oh, Amish and Mormons are super different! Mormons live just like we do, just minus the beer and diet coke haha. They come in all varieties really, whereas Amish all live a single certain way, with no electricity or much interaction with the outside world beyond what is absolutely necessary. Fundamentalist Mormons, especially the ones they show on reality tv shows, look more “Amish-ish” heh x) With old fashioned dress and stuff.

Ketch, huh. That is pretty unique…and quite ketch-y… *is shot* xD Oh man, you could make endless puns. But I actually really like unique names! Someone named Faust sounds like he will be important. I like Julian, and Remy, idk if those are that uncommon though. Remy is the name of the adorable little boy I babysat for a weekend, who would run and jump in my bed at night x) The most unusual name in my family is Hiram, pronounced HI-rem. It’s a very Mormon name, my dad says. I like it.

Heh, I don’t know what any of those words mean! x) Well I’ve heard “pirouette,” but I’m guessing that my definition, which is “to twirl around or something,” is a little less technical than yours lol. Ah man, splits are not impressive? I was gonna be like, hey, hey, I can do the splits too! Well…I pretty much can, close enough haha xD And it’s easier with my right leg in front of me. You probably have a name for that. Hm, yeah there might be some soccer lingo that’s unfamiliar to you. Fullback, dead ball, wall-pass. I think most are pretty self-explanatory though, but maybe that’s just because I know it. Yours sound more elegant x) What do they mean btw, I’m curious.

Aww, that is really sweet of you to say! You look up to me? I don’t know what to say, I have a huge, stupid smile on my face haha xD I’ve always wanted to have a little sister to boss around and give unsolicited advice to <3 But seriously, that really means a lot to me. I had a little heart flutter when I read that, lol.

And that doesn’t sound weird to me, I know exactly what you mean. I genuinely like listening to other people’s problems and trying understand their perspectives and feelings. I easily take on the role of counselor and I enjoy doing it. But sometimes, like you I’m guessing, when I’m the one who needs to vent, it seems like I find out that most people don’t really care to listen the same way I do, and I become a little bit disillusioned/disappointed with them. I also think that I don’t put nearly as much effort in expressing my own problems as I do in listening to other peoples’. I don’t really want everyone to know everything about me anyway, just a special few, once I feel can trust them. It’s ok to only have a few close friends. Better than having ten shallow ones. American culture, and I guess Western culture in general, champions the goddam extrovert xD I put on the extrovert mask easily at work and at school, but it wears me out after a while and I have to go be alone and daydream to recharge. Having really good conversations is also energizing. It makes me really grateful to have Simon, my old roommate and you around. I just need to remember this when I get into a lonely mood..

It was for a Zombie Fest being held in the town where me parents live! A town Halloween festival thing. So they had stuff like jello brain eating contests and carnival style games, a haunted house, a Michael Jackson’s Thriller performance, and of course the costume contest! This was right when the Walking Dead was super popular, so people really got into it x)

Girls can’t wear shorts because it’s “distracting for male students”?? What kind of sexist bullshit is that?? I can’t believe how poorly worded that is. It’s like saying, we can’t let the girls get in the way of our male students being successful. Or that, if a guy harasses or ogles a girl, it’s her fault, instead of his lack of control. I’m sure that’s not what the school meant when they said that, but honestly someone should have looked at that more carefully. I mean, I can understand having a “must be past the fingertips rule” on shorts and skirts, and you’re right, there should also be a rule for guys about sagging pants.

I can’t imagine anyone I’d consider a friend even at a basic level making plans with someone else right in front of me, unless they’re freaking siblings, or childhood friends or something special like that. I hope I’ve never done anything like that. I can remember feeling out of the loop sometimes in high school, so I know how you feel. It’s like, why does there have to be a popularity contest within your groups of friends?? Do you think they could be wanting you to invite yourself? You shouldn’t have to though, it’s common curtsey for crying out loud to either invite everyone or make your plans in private. That’s so rude of them. Screw them, you should make some better plans. Sorry, they’re your friends so I shouldn’t say that xD It makes me mad for them to hurt you like that though.

It feels really good for you to say that you’ll be here to listen, so I shouldn’t feel alone. I honestly feel really lucky to have randomly met you on this site. The same goes for me btw, I’ll listen to whatever you need to get out. And I say, don’t stress out too much about the future, or think that you’ve screwed up just because you haven’t followed some specific, textbook path. No matter what you do, there will always be someone who will tell you that you’re not good enough or look down on you because you don’t fit their standards, and it’s a pain to have to tune them out sometimes. I’m sure you already know that and it still probably still won’t stop you from feeling anxious about the future, but that’s ok to do every once in a while and totally natural. People who aren’t at least a little anxious about the future are the ones in trouble. Just keep doing stuff you like, do it as well as you can, and surround yourself with people that actually appreciate you. That last one is so important because you unconsciously start view yourself in the same way that the people around you view you. So ditch the assholes and look for the good ones, because it has a huge effect on you. I think that can be hard to do, especially in school where you feel stuck in your clique and there aren’t a lot of decent options anyway. Well, I know that you’re smart, understanding, and ambitious, and of course there must be a bunch of other people in your life who see that too. You’re gonna be more than ok.

Wow, I can only imagine how difficult that must be to have on your mind :( I’ve never dealt with having a suicidal friend. What you said you wished you could scream at her, that was really beautiful. And wonderfully worded too. I kept rereading it. I hate that you have to deal with something makes you so sad like this. She’s really lucky to have you. I bet you can feel what other people feel without even trying, can’t you. And on top of that, you have your own feelings added in. That’s a lot to feel at once, and it’s such a rare quality to have. Don’t feel selfish. Clearly you’re dealing with this in a way more mature, unselfish way than your older cousin ever could.

How does Booker fit in for me? Uh oh, ok, please don’t think I’m a psycho haha xD Not that every character I write has to be all about me (as self-absorbed as I am lol) but, I think Booker is sort of like a concentrated version of some of the things about my personality/desires that scares me. Like if I had absolutely no filter as far as wanting to dominate and control and manipulate people to do what I want them to do. Maybe a little bit of that has been good for me because it makes me competitive and pushes me to be one of the best in my design classes. It gives people the impression that I’m more confident than I really am. It gets channeled into motivation for good stuff. I’m certainly not saying that if my moral filter were gone, I would be magically be charming enough to manipulate anyone I wanted…but I think I do already use some of my intuitive understanding of people – their motives, what they want, how they like to be flattered, what makes them feel guilty, how to get them to do a favor for me, especially at work – and I abuse it sometimes. Not being ugly helps make it easier (just to show you how completely vain I am also). I have a horrible impulse to play mind games with people to see if I can get them to like me as more than a friend or to feel guilty in a way that favors me.

This sounds so evil. My brother would readily agree that I’m “evil” hahaha xD But I’m not, I’m a pretty laid back, understanding person. So why should I have a secret urge to dominate and manipulate? …I hope I don’t scare you away. It’s ok if you stopped looking up to me x) The girl I mentioned before – the one who would tease me in awful, amazing ways until I became obsessed with her – she showed me what it’s like to be on the opposite end of this and it sucks.

Ironically, having someone who I really admire start to like me and then later on become disinterested or disappointed in me – that is like my worst nightmare. Which is basically the dynamic between Charlie and Mila at the moment, haha. And Mila is used to being the one to leave/drop people, not the other way around. It’s just another reason why this RP is so interesting to me.

So the difference between Booker and Mila is that although they both have the compulsive desire to dominate and manipulate people, only Mila is capable of feeling guilty about it and wanting to suppress it. Booker just thinks its kind of fun to see how much he can make someone love/obsess over him. They both do it out of loneliness. Booker is too self-absorbed to actually fall in love though, like Mila can. But that also makes her more vulnerable in a way.

Welp, there’s my obnoxiously long Russian novel about my characters and about myself. I should give you the Spark Notes so you don’t have to read it all x) Send me yours, I’d love to read anything you write about Charlie or Lisette, whatever you feel like sharing. I eat this stuff up. Haha, I’m really glad the feeling is mutual! I had hoped it wasn’t one-sided x)

Yes, let’s save the ending for another day. It’s too soon to think about it now!

Yeah, it is kind of crazy. I don't think that people really see all of the pressure dancing is on girls, even on my level. I'm lucky enough to be involved in a really good group that's super supportive yet still competitive. Ooh! I keep meaning to watch that movie.. >.< But, I started watching Orange is the New Black and it is safe to say I am addicted and it is all your fault... thank you :p

I honestly didn't mean to put the religions in the same category! Ah, sorry if it seemed like that. I meant that each of them separately have been biased by television. But I think there was some part of me that figured fundamentalist Mormons were similar to Amish people, now I kind of know better. This is all really interesting!

Ahahaha! I'm using that one, "ketch-y". Oh that poor kid is going to get so badly teased when he grows up! XD Aw! Remy, that is such a sweet name! I love it, and I don't know if this is possible but it makes that kid 100x more adorable! And Julian! Love that name, it reminds me of One Tree Hill. Ooh, I actually really like Hiram, names that kind of mean something or have some sort of significance are my favourite. Like my first son I am going to name Emory Jack because "Emory" sounds a lot like "Emily" and Jack is my granddad's nickname. I also love the name Erma Grace for a little girl, Erma was my grandmother's name :)

The technical definition for a pirouette is 'A controlled turn on one foot'. I like yours better :p A paus de borea is 'three quick steps from second to fifth back to second' which in real speak means that you step from hip width apart, to having your legs crossed, back to hip width rapidly and starting with a plie (bend of the knees!). They're actually really fun :p oh, and a saute is basically just an up and down jump, from a plie, in any position (1st, 2nd, 3rd, 4th (4a), 5th or 4th across (4b)). Ooh! That is your right split, when your right leg is in front! That's the one I am best at :p And it isn't that it isn't impressive, because really it is, it's just that I know girls who can pull their leg all the way behind their head and hold it there with ease. It's beautiful and disgusting and I want to be able to do that. Yeah, no, none of that is self explanatory to me.. heh. Care to explain? Feel free to go overboard, I kind of did... XD

all unsolicited advice is welcomed here <3 Haha, I'm glad that you don't think I'm some freak on the internet. I totally thought you would super weirded out like "who the hell is this kid.." XD

I so understand what you mean about people not seeming to care. I needed to talk so I texted my best friend and her response was to imply that she didn't want to listen (even though she said she would) and that I couldn't deal with my shit and then she said: "You should talk to your guidance counsellor, you need help." Well fuck you too. >.< But that isn't right... I mean, she tried. But I feel like I am constantly here listening to peoples problems, giving them advice when needed or a shoulder to cry on but then as soon as I need someone there isn't anyone there. It's... tiring and deeply saddening. But, unlike what she thinks, I can actually deal with my shit and I'll be fine. I feel the same, it's nice to have someone here to listen when I need to vent! :)

Man, that must have been so fun! I live for stuff like that, really.

They also said "and to teachers"... I left that part out but yeah, it really is sexist bullshit and my inner feminist is dying. It's just slightly annoying because what are we suppose to wear on warm days? It was super hot today and I wore jeans and was dying! The rule isn't in effect yet, but if it happens I am going to throat punch someone. Violence is always the answer, really :p

The irony? One of the girls is my childhood best friend. Heh, and they've only been close for a couple of months. Once again, a case of me being completely overlooked. And this conversation ends here because it is getting late and I cannot be held accountable for what I say past midnight on a friday during a pity party. >.< It really isn't their faults.Today actually was a really good day with them, so yeah I'm just not gonna ruin it by over thinking things now.

To be honest I screen-shot that paragraph and it was one of the only things that got me through the rest of today without throat punching someone.. wow thanks :) You're right though, it is hard to just ditch all of your friends in high school and start new, and it really isn't that my friends are bad it's just that they don't really know much about me, so it isn't like I can blame them for some of the things that they say and do when they don't get it and they're just being themselves. Also, I think I like this whole new dynamic my life has taken. Now that I think about it, all of my plans for the future were so.. mundane and boring. I want adventure! I want to travel and see the world and meet people, not be stuck in a life because I think I need to. You're right, I think I will be more then okay. Thank you so much <3

I hate saying that it is hard for me, I mean it is and I feel her pain and it hurts so much, but it isn't like I'm the one considering taking my own life. There is too much I want to do, so many endless possibilities and I wish she would see that. Thanks for saying that I'm dealing more maturely then my cousin, I take that one as a compliment :p Hah

You're amazing. Okay... bye. Haha, to be honest you're the type of person who I would migrate towards in my real life (which may or may not explain all of my problems, but shh). Like you said, assertive people just seem so confident about themselves and where I don't have a sufficient amount of self confidence I guess I just kind of feed off of other peoples. I get the whole trying to manipulate/charm other people. I think that is just like a primal human instinct. Like trying to dominate others and all of that, although I would consider myself more of a passive person with most things. But I have been known to *cough* lead people on.. It is so awful of me, because I know how much it sucks, but I don't know I just find it.. fun? Amusing might be a better word. Like, I think I mentioned that kinda creepy guy that my friend dated? Yeah, he's kinda creepy for a reason that may involve me being a little (a lot) flirtatious. Opps.. :p (Btw, being not ugly helps, I agree! Haha)

I think the best way to put it is that you are "awesomely evil"! You didn't scare me away at all, I think it's sort of amusing actually. Maybe you're just, like, a super villain and you don't know it yet? If so could I be like your super villain side kick or something? Just a thought.. XD

Aw, that is a fear that I am greatly acquainted with. It's just something that you have to deal with in life, people who were once so important start kind of drifting away, but it's really hard and it really sucks :( It is kinda like the RP at the moment, huh? Look at us go :p

I like it! You put so much thought into your characters and it's fabulous. I'm glad that you do because now I don't feel so badly rambling about my own :p Honestly, I love listening to all of this and seeing your mindset in creating characters and their motives (motives is a big thing for me, I like everything to make sense). You're really good at it :) Btw, I don't want the Spark Notes! That is cheating, girl... XD Ahh, as for my characters! I had a break through with Lisette!

Okay, so I was really struggling with her motives, which bothered me because in what sense at all does it make for her to be so cruel and so obsessed with Mila like she is? But I have it! Lisette lived a life of poverty, slavery, racism, etc. She was constantly looked down upon and was told that she was worthless. It bred this jealousy inside of her. She was jealous of the pretty girls who got to go to school and wear nice dresses and live in beautiful houses, she was jealous of her younger siblings (her biological father died in slavery and her mom remarried a man and had four children with him) who always got more attention from her mother then she did. She basically lived her entire life feeling as if she were lower then everyone else, and that can really screw with a person. When she was engaged to get married, it helped her to almost get passed all of that negativity despite the fact that her fiancee was a royal asshole who thought more highly of himself then he should have. When she was turned into a vampire and obtained all of that power she kind of... flowered. She was good at killing, seducing and manipulating. Then she met Mila, who was older and more powerful then she was. It reignited some of that jealousy, but mostly she was just intrigued. That is, until her overwhelming need to dominate overtook her. So she is kind of like Booker and Mila, in a sense that she craves power, but it isn't so much out of loneliness as it as about the fact that she is honestly psychotic. She has a lustful need for dominance and control, despite the fact that she is so completely out of control. It's poetic!

Addicted to Orange is the New Black?? Mwahaha!! >D Mission accomplished ;}

Oh oh gotcha xD Speaking of Amish and reality tv shows, have you ever heard of the show Amish Mafia? Haha, I watched it once at my parents house and it was pretty interesting x) A very unexpected combination.

Isn't that name just adorable? It fits him perfectly x) Ooh I love both Emory Jack and Erma Grace! Beautiful names. I wonder if our parents sat around when they were teens/young adults and thought about what they wanted to name their kids? x)

Woah, so like, when you watch Black Swan you'll actually be able to name all the moves they're doing and stuff! Are those positions basically second nature to you now? Put their foot behind their heads huh, man that is impressive. Reminds me of a Cirque du Soleil performance I saw last year where these three Russian female gymnasts did absolutely insane contortions with their body and you're right, beautiful and maybe eerie/unsettling is how I'd describe it! But awesome. So is your goal to put your foot behind your head one day? x) Ok so fullback is just a position on the field, there are usually three and their main job is to defend the goal. Dead ball just means the ball is no longer in play. Wall-pass is kind of weird I guess, no walls of any kind involved - it would be if I had the ball and then passed it to a team member to avoid a challenge by the opposing team and then she quickly passed it back to me again. So it's a quick one-two pass.

Nah, of course I don't think you're a freak, kiddo! Heh, I also don't think of you as a kid either, I forget to since your writing is so good x)

Ah, man, that would upset me too :/ Not the best way to word that I guess, even though of course she cares about you. I think...just think of it like this great talent that you have that not everyone is as good at - listening and understanding I mean. It's not easy to be the one that everyone comes to share their emotions with and even if they're careless about showing it, you can be sure that they are grateful to have you there for them. I don't know if this is too forward of me, but if you are ever feeling like you just need to get something out to someone and there's no one responding to you, you can feel free to message my Kik account, username: L_Christine. I just mean as like a lifeline sort of thing, rather than a casual chat thing, like if there comes a moment when you need something more immediate than a day or two long ooc post. If you never end up using it, it's cool, just thought I'd toss it out there x) No profile picture or any of my real life info on there, just so you know. I mean, you seem like someone who can keep it together long enough to vent some other way, but you know, just like, if there's ever a time when you want a quick response or an ear to talk to or something idk.

Aw man, that sucks! I would absolutely die outside if I couldn't wear shorts these days, it is unbelievably hot and humid during the day xO Speaking of violence always being the answer, I felt extremely violent to several customers today who were being more idiotic than usual x( I had the dreaded 3pm to 11pm and I have it AGAIN tomorrow night. Shoot me. This one woman freaked out because her pizza had defrosted by the time she got to check out and she acted like it was CLEARLY my fault somehow. We also had three teenagers try to buy alcohol with either fake ids or for their underage friends. Making my life harder, those little brats. And then this one guy lingered in the store forever and I had to make the "attention shoppers the store is fucking closed" announcement twice before my manager finally had to go over and tell him to go check out. Gahaahahjdksfhljsda. I hate people.

Heh, yeah over thinking is one of my talents too Dx Sometimes I think if I were just a little less "in-tune" to other peoples motives, maybe things would be easier.. Let it all pass under the radar instead of in my face.

Hey, it's ok to admit that it puts stress on you too to have someone you love feel sad/want to hurt themselves. And you're even conscious of not putting yourself at the center of it but wanting to put her first instead. That is so mature, I can't even.. More people should be like you. More grocery shoppers to be specific. Lol jk, but seriously don't be hard on yourself for feeling sad on her behalf, it's a beautiful thing.

Ha! Thanks! xD I think primal instinct is a great way to describe it. And I think I gravitate toward people who are little willing to bend to my will to some extent, rather than other alpha types. But here's so many things that I'm really less self confident in than I pretend to be outwardly, sexuality being one of them. I don't know, maybe some of that come with age/maturity whatever. Speaking of flirting and leading people on, I really despise being accused of "flirting" when I have to be polite to some dude at the register and he just shamelessly flirts with me and all other female employees D< Grrrrr. I am NOT one of those girls who's all "I hate when guys flirt" but really they're just bragging about getting attention. I would gladly do without it, those perverts. I have to stop before I sound too bitter. There really are so many sweet customers and the "regulars" who make the day go by faster x) There's one woman with the same name as me who always says hi to me even when she doesn't come through my line, she's so sweet. Anyways, yes, you will be my evil sidekick and together we will destroy self-entitled pricks and obnoxious grocery shoppers across the US and Canada. Oh wait, that wouldn't be evil since we'd be doing everyone a favor. Hmm, we'll have to think of more nefarious schemes...

Yeah look at us, putting all our conscious and unconscious fears/desires into the RP. We are PROS.

Thank you! I love making my characters' motives realistic too. Ooo, I love your background on Lisette, it's very fitting. I had not anticipated her fascination with Mila until it emerged in the RP and it's just so natural and intriguing, I love it. Jealousy mixed with some sort of attraction is enough to make someone like her extremely possessive, especially since she also craves power/dominance. You've spoiled me, just so you know, as far as finding RP partners in the future who put all this thought and effort into their characters. Totally spoiled. I'll judge everyone to your standard without a second thought. You said earlier that Lisette is harder to write for, but her responses are always great. So are Charlie's. I especially like that you don't make her a push over and that she fights for some kind of control of the situation even when everything is stacked against her.

Yeah, mission accomplished is right. Seriously though, it's a really good show!

Amish Mafia... I think I've heard of it. I don't have cable. We illegal download shows watch netflix. XD Haha, but it sounds like it would be an interesting combination. Is it like a reality show (like breaking Amish or whatever) or made up?

I know my mom did! When she was little she wanted to name her daughter Amanda but then her older brother named his daughter that first. She still talks about how mad it made her XD Lol, oh the family drama.

Pfft yeah I would! Hahaha but honestly no, not a lot of it. There would be some moves that I would know, but for the most part I would recognize the move but not be able to name it. Ooh, Cirque! I <3 Cirque. I've seen three, not counting the movie one on netflix, and my favorite of them all would have to be the Michael Jackson themed one. There was this dancer who danced on a pole that nearly touched the top of the stadium (and I'm sure you know how high stadium ceilings are) it was so amazing, like pole dancing is actually so hard. I took a lesson once and it takes a lot of core strength. What was the one that you saw called?? Yup, okay, you see that is not at all what I would have thought those meant :p Is there a lot of soccer lingo and, like, how is it used?

Heh, thanks! For the compliment and for not thinking of me as a kid.. It's slightly annoying when people do that (my cousin does... you know the one *evil glare*). I mean if we lived a hundred years ago I would probably already have like five kids. XD Haha, oh thank god we don't live a hundred years ago..

Oh, wow :) Hah, it's not too forward of you at all! Thanks! I can see myself doing that because I would probably feel like too much of a nag but it's super nice to have that option there :) Same goes for you, by the way! If you ever need to talk.. no promises that I'll have any data to answer right away (stupid ass Samsung phone with no data package... DX) but I'm usually at home or in the studio anyways :p My username is EmilyAnneMc. Anyways, thanks :) That's really nice of you, I appreciate it!

Ahahahaha! That is hilarious, oh my god, That is exactly why I don't want to work in retail XD Some people are stupid and think the world revolves around them. But seriously? Defrosted pizza woman is dumb and she needs to be smacked. And damn those rascally children trying to buy booze! Don't they know that underage drinking is illegal *looks around awkwardly* XD

That's exactly how I feel! It's like, if someone is having an off day and they say something in a snarky way or they aren't talking to me for some completely personal reason that I don't know about I assume it is my fault. I over think and question peoples motives all of the time. I've gone to parties and wondered if I only got invited as a gag or something and no one was actually going to be there. It is a horrible, horrible talent to have, really. ):

Ahaha, maybe more grocery shoppers should have compassion :p Thanks :)

To be honest you seem really self assured :) I mean, I probably come off that way to some people too. I guess it's all in how you present yourself! But I think you're right, most of that comes with maturity. Hah, as for flirting! I don't mind it, I am such a shameless flirt towards everyone all of the time. But I get what you mean about guys obnoxiously flirting to get attention. That’s super annoying. Aww, I guess all of those nice people would make up for those who are just rude and annoying :) We could be inconspicuous good guys! Like Robin Hood or Spiderman or Catwoman.. #nerdalert

Thank youuu! I was honestly really proud of that, I knew it would click at some point. I didn't expect her to be so obsessed with Mila either, it just kind of happened :p Ditto for the whole spoiling thing.. sometimes I have to remind myself that this RP is a lot more advanced then what I will probably get with other people so I need to lower my standards some, that sounds kind of mean but I think it's mostly because we have such similar writing styles and we've gotten to know each other really well (: I find that not many people make an attempt to really get past the surface stuff in ooc chat. As for Char, I do not write push overs!! Haha I've done it before, and I've read things where the characters were really passive and whiny, and it's just not fun at all.

It so is!! Hilarious too! I'm looking forward to the second season, which comes out on Netflix and is probably available for illegal download or streaming on June 6th.

Haha, I don't have cable at my apartment either since during the school year there's no point because I never watch tv. I just pay for internet. My parents have cable though with like 100 bazillion channels and it overwhelms me so I usually don't watch much tv at home either x) It's a reality TV show lol, and they document all the illegal horse and buggy racing and other scandalous happenings within the Amish community.

Aw, I have to ask my mom now. I've probably asked her before but I can't remember. I know my brother's name is my dad's middle name and his middle name is my grandfather's first name. All my names are original, so.. :P Haha xD

Oh wow you've seen three? Nice! The one I saw was Quidam. They had a couple performances here in Raleigh and it was great! I've been curious about the movie, is it good? Lol, yeah I've read that pole dancing looks so effortless but it's actually really tough. One of my favorite parts of the performance was when these four dancers spun around on long cloth rope things from the ceiling. I'm sure there's a name for it haha. It was incredible, they twisted themselves up and then would let go suddenly and it took my breath away because every time it looked like they were just going to tumble all the way down to the stage, but of course they caught themselves just in time. It was super beautiful yo. The other part I loved is when they had volunteers from the audience come up and had them act out this romance/drama movie scene sequence. It was hilarious what they got them to do ahahaha. As for soccer lingo, I guess there's a lot, and of course there are some phrases that get used a ton, repeatedly. You have names for certain kinds of passing and plays, and then you have the lingo on the field which is short and sweet so we can communicate fast during the game. Stuff like, "line" or "down the line" if your teammate is doing a throw-in and you want her to throw it down the line. Or "mark up," which means find someone on the other team and cover them. "Drop" or like "back" if you're behind someone to let them know they can pass it back to you. These are common ones I can think of off the top of my head, but really these aren't hard and fast and probably each team communicates a little differently. Oh "clear" or "clear it" is another one, that's like "get the ball out of there!"

Hm, if we lived a hundred years ago, that would be about the time of the Roaring Twenties in America, so I'd be partying it up with the Great Gatsby and spending all my money on illegal booze in my flapper dress and short hair before the Great Depression took it all away x)

Cool, thanks! Hey would you care if I followed you on tumblr? I got one like a million years ago and only managed to put up a few posts before I got distracted and abandoned it lol x) I've been adding to it recently. Totally understand if you'd rather keep stuff separate, like really I will not take offense in the slightest. There's a selfie of me on there but I'm in shadow so you can't even see me.

Haha, the one upside is that at least I have entertaining stories to tell after work xD She and many other need to be smacked, I say. *Looks at you suspiciously* Hey, what's the drinking age in Canada again? Didn't you say it was like 14 or something ridiculous like that? Jk xD Was is 18? Haha, as if I care at all if those kids want to drink, I am certainly not one to judge lol. But come on, I mean come on. If you have your one 21 year old friend with you to by the drinks, don't all walk into the store together dumbasses. Just stay in the car Dx The managers keep track of who comes in after 9pm to watch for shoplifters, etc. and even if the rest of the kids leave the store first, we still can't sell it to the 21 year old because he/she technically walked in with underage people. It's so strict. One cashier at the store already lost his job because a cop, who just happened to be shopping there, watched him not ID someone. Just one person and poof you're looking for a new job Dx Heh, I do always like when some attractive 30ish year old woman with alcohol comes through my line and I ask for her ID and she's all, "well aren't you the sweetest thing!!" :D And I'm like yesss, score. xD

It sucks doesn't it?? xO Then I think, wow isn't it actually pretty self-centered of me to think that their attention is really directed at me or what they said is as personal as I interpreted it? But that revelation doesn't really make me feel better lol x) And awww who would do that to you?? Come on, no one would x) ..Or wait, has that happened??

Hm, if you already have your Catwoman suit, who should I be? I'll be the Black Widow, since I recently saw Captain America 2 x) It was not bad btw.

I guess it's kind of hard to get past surface stuff on here, idk, I've never talked this in depth with someone else on here. How did we manage it haha? I'm curious to go back and skim over our first few ooc posts to see how it progressed.

EDIT: So I went and took a peek the firs few posts and saw that I talked about my roommate, like first thing haha xD Because you know, you're Canadian too so you guys must know each other :P Anyways I forgot to mention that I had a really great time with her! She was lamenting about unbearably cold winters in Canada and eventually not feeling cold anymore because her skin would go numb lol. Also slipping on ice. But she said it's absolutely gorgeous now. She loves Montreal and loves speaking French all the time. She talked about the election there and student protests and said that Quebec is like the red-headed step child of Canada, is that true??

I know I googled it!! Ahaha, I'm so pumped :p Have you seen other netflix originals? Like Hemlock Grove? That one is weird but actually super good.

Cable bills are for dummies! #werk ;P Horse and bugging racing = scandalous. Hahaha, I'm sure it actually is but thinking about that from in front of my large mac desktop in my house filled with lights and televisions and phones and stoves it's a little bit funny XD

My dad picked out my first name, which is original btw! And then my middle name is the same as my Mom's. It's weird to think about though, like obviously our parents thought about what their kids would like when they were younger.. sometimes I wonder if I lived up to their expectations.

The thing with the four dancers and the hanging ribbon is called "Ribbon Dancing" oh so original, right? >.< It's up there with pole dancing for being super hard I haven't tried it, but I want to so badly! Haha, the first Cirque I ever saw was in Halifax and they got people from the audience to do this comedy skit too, it had something to do with boxes and clowns and it was hilarious XD When we were in Montreal for The Dance World Cup, three girls from my team were selected to audition for Cirque! It was so cool for them!! That's cool, how you guys communicate on the field and stuff. I guess communication is key to having a really good, well functioning team! Do you guys do like team pep up stuff, like before a game or team building activities? Every time before we go on stage we stand in a hugging circle and tell everyone what we need to focus on for that specific routine and the we stick each of our feet in the middle, shake our toes and make the weirdest noise ever (it kind of sounds like "Neeee".. heh) and we never go onstage without doing it.

I think I probably underestimated my timeline a bit there >.< Heh, oops. But OMG speaking of The Great Gatsby, I did a routine this year based off of that movie :p It was to Over the Love by Florence and the Machine but anyways that doesn't matter... (it did really well cough) But yeah, oh my god, that actually sounds like my dream life.. XD Haha

DO IT JUST F-ING DO IT THAT WILL GIVE ME 14 FOLLOWERS JUST DO IT OMG PLEASE I WILL LOVE YOU FOREVER. K thanks, bye... Oh and btw there is a picture of me on my tumblr now... just so you're warned. It isn't too direct I don't think, I'm doing my make up so I think you can kind of see my face in the mirror. *shurgs* If other random interweb people can see it I don't really see the difference. One thing you'll quickly learn about tumblr is that people are wayyyy to open then they should be for being complete strangers.

That is certainly an upside! :) The legal drinking age is 19.. if it was fourteen half of my school would probably be raging alcoholics by now, most of them are anyways. >.< I may be exaggerating a wee bit. I've never technically been "drunk" before, I think we talked about how lowered inhibitions freak me out a lot. I don't like not being in total control of myself. That is dumb, that people would do that, I mean obviously you aren't dumb and you know what they're trying to do. I don't think we have a law here about buying alcohol when you're with minors, at least not at any of the NSCCs I've ever been in. He lost his job? How old was the person he was IDing? Like don't they have to look a certain age or something? You are flirtatious! I knew it, haha. That is such a flirtatious thing to do XD "Yesss, score" Haha, I laughed forever at that.

Exactly!! I take things way too seriously, like someone doesn't text me back right away, oh they must be mad at me. Or someone starts laughing, they're laughing at me. It does feel conceited but it's just that natural insecurity, really. Everyone feels it, or at least I hope everyone does. As for the party thing, no it hasn't, but I have been to some where I was the centre of every single joke the entire night and I had to actually call my parents to come and get me because it got so bad. That was a really awful night. Actually, that happened twice and then another time at my birthday party... so three times. Fuck. This is getting sad. #thisiswhyihatepeople

#unnerdalert I've only seen a little bit of the first Captain America movie, awks. :p

4687fjbr[29034uy2b5kjbrgeoi Oh. Fucking. No. I did a dumb thing, A reallllllllly dumb thing. Oh fuck. Oh my god... *sobs* Okay, so my friend, the one I have a crush on, just broke up with her boyfriend and I have been comforting her all night and I've been assing around sending her stupid pick up lines and telling her how much she means to me, normal friend stuff, and she said to me: "I wish we could see if we could be something" and my heart was like oh you fucking just didn't do that to me. So I said "You have no idea how wonderful that would be" and then she said "it's song lyrics..." It's safe to say I am punching myself in the face right now, how could I be so dumb? Luckily I say stuff like that all the time so it was kind of easy to blow off but I know that she knows I was serious. Dammit.

No I haven't seen that yet, is it good? I'm curious, I think I'll check it out!

I know right? xD What would it be like to grow up in that lifestyle and then discover that there's this whole other world out there?? I mean, introducing yourself to the internet would take a good chunk of time just by itself! xD I guess it would be like The Village xD You know, minus the threat of terrifying monsters. You've seen that right?

Yeah I wonder that too. What if they're like, well shit we screwed up xD haha, jk I don't think they think that. They seem proud of me. I have a job and my own place, what more do they want from me?? Oh right, a husband. Oops. Well, I think grandkids is what they really want, but it's still a little too early for me to think about x) I like my parents honestly, we get along pretty well for the most part. My mom was irritated with me earlier today though because I forgot to request off the 31st from work for my brother's graduation. So I have to switch shifts with someone for that day before she disowns me. Other than that, we're fine xD

Oh Ribbon Dancing xD That makes sense. Dude, I want to try that! But, isn't it really dangerous?? How do they practice without falling and dying? Oh I guess they practice low to the ground first. I think I'll just get a hammock instead xDD But really, that would be so cool if you learned how to do that! Oh yeah, we have our pre-game rituals too. We also do a huddle and this might sound weird but one girl says a prayer and then we say our go (our team name)! Really fast, like it's all in one breath. Of course we also have pre game warm up drills. And we stretch together and unlike stretching before practice, this is almost meditative. I never thought about doing a ritual before a dance performance but it makes perfect sense!

Oh, I bet that routine was awesome! I love the Great Gatsby, the book. I've never seen the movie. The book is so good though. At the time when I first read it in high school, I could really relate to Gatsby's obsessive love for Daisy and the whole green light thing. I love that time period in American history too, it just seems like Prohibition made everything exciting. F. Scott Fitzgerald is one of my favorite authors. Youth, beauty, unrequited love, new money vs old money - I could read his stuff all day.

Hahahaha! xDD Ahh, that made me laugh out loud when I read that. I did it, so it's done x) Now you can see my super generic, hipsterish, feel good tumblr, don't judge me xP You have to love me forever now, so you know. Your words not mine. Do you know any of the songs on my tumblr? Haha, I have seen some of the super personal posts and I'm thinking...I belong here ahaha xD It honestly does take me some time to really really open up to people, so I don't know if I'll be all "here's personal feelings" right away on there heh x) Also, I foresee hours upon hours spent on there...I blame you!!! I will come to you in the next few days and be like it's your fault I'm addicteddddd xD Oh man. At least I have no school right now, phew.

Yeah I remember we did talk about that! I can't say I've been falling down drunk, just really pleasantly buzzed x) And I'm a social drinker, so I'm not throwing back beers at dinner, because first of all, that would get expensive. I'm way more into drinking at someone's apartment or my own than going out to bars, I really never do that. About the ID guy, I didn't actually see it happen but I was told that the person he didn't card wasn't even underage, he was like 25ish or something. He lost his job because the guy looked under 40 and he didn't card him. That's the law D: And you have to card them for cigarettes if they look under 30. What, who me? :D Flirtatious? ;D Not at all, darling, why would you say that? Haha! xD Ok ok, I admit I might be a little. Come on, I'm super bored at the register and it's too easy to be all, "Miss? Can I see your ID?" and get called sweet heh heh x) What can I say, boosts my ego ;)

Yeah I think it is natural and something that sort of dissipates as you get older. Trust me, I feel waaay more confident than when I was 15-16ish, and that's how it's supposed to be. I mean I still feel anxious about what people think sometimes but I think that will go away more and more with time too. Also people who look confident feel anxiety too, so it's not like anyone is alone in it. Like you said, everyone feels it. You were the center of all the jokes? In just a teasing way I hope? D< Jeez, what's their problem? That would royally piss me off. You know, if it makes you feel better, when I moved to my new middle school and started 6th grade, I was so upset about leaving my friends and felt so shy the first few days that I barely talked to anyone and a few people started calling me "mute." No one would ever call me that now, but it still stings to think about it. Kids are fucking mean. Haven't you ever read Lord of the Flies haha xD

Lol unnerd alert. You can't take back the nerd! It's stays with you!

It's ok, it'ok. Listen.. I don't how to say this without sounding totally pretentious. I don't pretend to completely understand your situation, but the fact that she sent you "I wish we could see if we could be something" is sort of.. I mean, did she send that by itself? And then said it was just song lyrics? She knows you like her, and she probably knew before this. I say that because I think I've been in a similar situation to you. She might be stringing you along a bit, which isn't very nice of her to do. In fact, it's a little cruel... am I completely off here? Like I said, I obviously don't know your guys' relationship as it is now. She must know. Or maybe I'm totally misjudging. Why'd she break up with her boyfriend, do you know?

It is really good! You should totally watch it, but it is also super weird and kinda confusing so just be warned about that. As for The Village... I've heard of it I think but I've never seen it.. should I? Is it any good? Tbh I am looking for a new show to binge on..

Pfft, that is so totally what my parents think xD No, I'm kidding. I think they're proud of me. I mean, I'm basically a straight A student, the lowest I got on a test this year was an 80, I don't screw around with drugs or alcohol and I'm not pregnant, so that is also a bonus :p Well, considering the school I go to it really is a bonus, hah. But yeah, the only thing that they ever freak about is the fact that my bedroom is a toxic waste dump and even I agree that it's getting a little excessive. But otherwise, I'm a good kid! XD As for the whole 'grandkids' thing. Yup, definitely too young for that one... I only like babies when I can give them back. Ew husbands are gross, who needs em? Aha

I like the hammock idea... XD But actually I think I will try and find some classes, there has to be one in Halifax somewhere. Aww, a prayer doesn't sound odd at all! I know this girl and every time before she goes on stage she crosses herself and she kind of wins everything, so there ya go! ;) Before we go backstage to compete in like the competitions final showcase, if we get in, we always do the same little huddle thing and are like "One, two, three *name of the routine*" People usually look at us funny but that's okay xD I think it's good to have little pre-performance/game rituals. Stretching and meditating... or meditative stretching I suppose, sounds like a good one. Getting into the right mindset and all. Have you ever done yoga before?

I was suppose to read the book for the routine (there is actually a lot of work that does into character building for a routine), but I didn't. I mean, I really wanted to but I just never got the chance. You're making this authors work sound really good, though, so maybe I'll eventually read something by him. Whenever I finish reading this Stephen King series which might be never... >.<

I actually really like your blog! I know some of the music, like Team (because who doesn't know that song?), and I've heard some music of The Shins before and I adore The xx! Their song Angels is so beautiful. And Intro, we use that one for contemp improve and stuff, and I think there might have been a duet to it a couple years ago. But anyways, yes! Your blog is really great :) You get my stamp of approval! Go follow these blogs: fuckour-lives (you may not reblog her shit but some of it is hilarious and... she's my best friend :p), jonathon, virginity, heartbreakur, and breakinq. Those are a few that I really like. Oh.. I kinda dug myself into a hole there, didn't I? Damn.. okay fine. XD As for the personal posts, yeah I was like that at first too. Especially with things about depression and self harm and all that, but you get over that. I like it 'cause it's kind of an indirect way to get all your feelings out there. Ahahahaha, If you don't get addicted I will be seriously unimpressed and probably cry. Just saying. But oh my goodness!! The email I got from tumblr when you followed me was like "I---christine is following you! Swoon <3" I laughed so hard XD

If I were to go drinking, it would be with my best friend. We had a plan to go over to her boyfriends and play disney drinking games all night while his parents were away but if my parents ever found out that I had spent the night at a guys house, especially one with no parents and alcohol on the premises, I would be literally dead, like in the ground in my backyard. So that didn't happen. I was sad, we were gonna play board games and everything too. DX Woah, that seriously sucks that he lost his job. Laws like that are so picky, but I mean I kind of get it. Ahaha, I am finding this quite amusing, honestly. That sounds like something that I would do 100%. A little ego boost once in a while never hurts!

Fuck being a teenager. Oops, did I say that out loud? XD Honestly, and if you say don't wish away your life I will punch a wall, I just wish that high school was over with already. Kids are really mean. Like, I've always been the underdog friend that people poked fun of and I didn't mind that, I could take it and laugh about it but then it just got super out of hand, I've been in situations where I couldn't even look at someone because I was scared they would call me out on something. I hate eating in front of people and am constantly obsessing over how I look, it's a shame because 9/10 I think that I look super ugly and gross because that's how people made me feel. It's better now, and I have some really great people in my life who make me feel beautiful, wonderful and happy. But like you said, it still stings a lot to think about some of the things that people have done to me. I honestly hope that I've never made anyone feel the way that I've felt in the past.

That is actually a good thing because without my nerd-ness I have nothing.

Yeah she just sent that, and it was in all capitals right after I texted her (okay no judgements the conversation was weird) "What kind of something *obnoxious winking*". And earlier yesterday, when she was freaking out because Josh was being super pissy at her, we were talking and I said "Just date a girl, they are so much less complicated" and she was like "If I could find someone to date me I would" and I said "Uh.. Me!" It was sarcastic, but y'know, and then she said "But would you actually?" And then that conversation happened so I was already a little bit like 'woah what?' It does feel cruel some of the time, but I am perfectly fine with it. I do the same thing in a way. Besides if we actually dated or something it wouldn't at all be fair to her because I wouldn't want certain people that are predominant in both of our lives to know and she would be a lot more open about it. So there is that. I just don't think I'm there yet, but it's still so fucking confusing half the time I am with her. But there is a part of me that wonders if maybe she feels the same, there have been times that I've thought that she definitely does. Anyways, fuck, I just don't know. Oh, and he broke up with her! Apparently they don't communicate very well or something. It was a super dumb reason and you probably don't wanna hear some of the names I wish I could call him XD

Wait..is Hemlock Grove a horror show? Oh, no I meant the movie The Village! By the same guy who directed Sixth Sense. Hmm, if you're looking for a new show to binge on...have you seen Breaking Bad? It's soooo good omg. Speaking of shows, are you caught up on Game of Thrones?

My parents freak out about me getting a better job than the one I have now. Which is something I myself freak out about sometimes, so I'm like guys, guys, I don't need any extra stress x) Lol toxic waste dump. My parents, well my mom, thinks I live in filth, and at the same time all of my friends tease me for keeping my apartment "too clean" as they put it. So... clearly you can't please everyone xD I'm pretty organized tbh, although I do wait until the absolute last day possible to do laundry #badass. Also my mom thinks I drink more than I really do x) But today I am the Golden Child because I managed to get the day of my brother's graduation free so now I can go sit with my parents in the sun and listen to 400 kids get their diplomas... ;_; But this is good actually, I'm angling for a new couch for my apartment for my birthday heh heh. Gotta save up those brownie points ;}

Yeah do it!! That would be so cool! I tried a few yoga classes at my university and I liked it, but I got busy and didn't keep it up. Heh, to be honest, I went to like two of the classes. Do you do yoga?

It is really good! He's such a great writer. Right now though, my absolute favorite author is Sarah Waters - she wrote two of my favorite books, Fingersmith and Tipping the Velvet. Oh yeah, I was going to read a Stephen King novel, which one should I read first again? x)

Yesss, I love The XX so much x) And Lorde. I think her entire album is amazing. Ok, I'll go check those ones out! I've already hunted down all my favorite youtube celebrities. My blog is going to reveal just how much of a crush I have on that youtuber Grace x) But it can't be helped xD Yeah, I'm convinced now that I'll definitely become obsessed with this. What have you done to me. And it is weirdly satisfying to have random strangers start following me haha xD I like it! I think I'll put some of my own photos up...and then have a heart attack if even one person likes or reblogs it hahaha. "I---christine is following you! Swoon <3" Ahahahaha xD That's funny. Oh tumblr. x) But.. how did it know you were going to swoon? >D

Disney drinking games, nice xD Alright, if your tumblr stops all of a sudden, I'll know it was filicide. We like to play Never Have I Ever.

Don't wish away your life lol. But seriously, I don't blame. I really don't miss high school at all. College ftw. I guess I miss some of the people but not the feeling of being surrounded by cliques. At the same time, I'm not exactly excited for anymore birthdays, I'm just going to feel old now D: Well 25 might be kind of exciting when that eventually happens. You have to be 25 to rent a car at most places in the US. Is it strange that I'm excited that I'm still not old enough to do something? xD

Oh I see, well maybe you guys will hang out even more just the two of you and something will happen, could be. I can definitely relate to your feelings of "does she like me same way, is there something more behind her teasing." For me, it was with that straight girl, so it was never to be. But for you, it sounds like your chances might be pretty good. Maybe something great will come out of all of this. If you feel like you're not there yet, then maybe it will happen somewhere down the line. I'll keep my fingers crossed for you :)