With my carry on slung over my shoulder, Blue’s leash and my travel bag in hand I stepped off the bus and glanced around the ever-so-busy airport. I could feel Blue getting real excited beside me and I held his leash a little tighter so he couldn’t pull so far ahead of me. He loved greeting people and I knew this was going to be a bit difficult to try and get him to the gate we needed to get to without making a million stops. I began walking, urging Blue forward with a few “come on boy”’s and “lets go”. “Okay guys, wait at the gate alright? No one boards until your teacher is there with you to make sure everyone gets on safely.” I looked over at the man who was speaking, and could have sworn I’d seen him before.. a man much older than any of the students here but surely not a teacher himself, maybe he was one of the few parents who had decided to help direct us to the places we needed to go. “We’re college kids, for crying out loud. We don’t need babysitters,” I thought to myself, though I followed behind one of the parents leading a small group of us towards the security bag check area, with Blue in tow.
I leant against the side of the bus casually, peering at my busy surroundings. I didn’t enjoy aeroplane journeys, everything about them made me uncomfortable - first of all there was the chaos of the airport, hundreds of people barging past me without a care in the world, all the noise of people talking on their mobiles and to each-other, it really irritated me, I found it incredibly hard to relax, though, I suppose that is natural. I didn’t have a problem with heights, but being packed on to a piece of unstable metal for such a long time like a can of tuna, it just set me uneasy. I don’t know why, but I was always paranoid that something would go wrong in a situation like that, however, I had been on quite a few plane journeys and I hadn’t even experienced any major turbulence before, so I was slightly reassured.
My guitar case was slung off of a strap on my left shoulder, comfortably placed next to my moderately heavy backpack on the other shoulder. In my hand was the luggage I’d put on the plane. I snapped out of my thoughts when I heard the annoying croak of an older man who I did not recognise. “Okay guys, wait at the gate alright? No one boards until your teacher is there with you to make sure everyone gets on safely.” I rolled my eyes, but followed the instructions nonetheless. With paranoid thoughts now expelled from my mind, I headed towards bag check with a slightly lighter heart.
I tossed both my bags up onto the conveyor belt and emptied my pockets into a box, sliding it up with my bags as I watched them disappear into the unknown to be x-rayed. Suddenly it stopped out on the other side and one of the security guards walked up, grabbing my travel bag and unzipping it. I raised my eyebrows as he raided through it, pulling out my tube of toothpaste, shampoo and conditioner out of it and tossing them away in a trash bin then zipping it back up, handing it to me. “Think I’m really capable of being the toothpaste bomber?” The guard half smiled and shook his head, ”It’s just protocol, sorry. There’s a shop just around the corner where you can buy your things from. Have a safe flight.” I smiled and nodded back to him, clicking my tongue to get Blue’s attention and headed off towards the ‘shop around the corner’, off to buy my necessary items.
I peered around as I waked out of the store and saw the man who had been leading my group towards the gate and jogged over. All around me it was almost irritatingly loud with people talking and music playing from a couple different stores. Reaching into my pocket, I pulled out my ipod headphones and stuck the buds into my ears, putting on some of my own music just ‘people watching’ now as I jammed quietly to my tunes. I had never been a fan of flying, or crowded airports in general. Hell, any crowded area for me was just a tad bit overwhelming. Blue nudged my leg with his big head and it suddenly brought me out of my thoughts, looking down at him as he looked up at me with a big ol’ puppy dog smile. I couldn’t help but smile too, rubbing his ear before looking around. “How long does it take to get a few kids off the bus and through security? Let’s go already!” I thought impatiently.
After successfully getting through back check without being declared a terrorist, I took to the shops. I had taken some money specifically so that I could stock up on things on the inside. After purchasing some water, a bite to eat and some cigarettes, I headed over to one of the vacant seats in the boarding gates and took it, sitting back and exhaling. I held the pack of cigarettes in front of me and peered at them. I had bought them for a fairly interesting reason, or, at least, a more interesting reason than why I bought the water and the food. I used to smoke, back in the days when I was involved in drugs, and the habit kind of stuck. Lately, I had been trying to quit. I figured that going on holiday and having no cigarettes would be the cowards way out, so I had brought them with me, without a lighter or any matches, just to flaunt them in my face. Hopefully, it would push me towards resistance.
The seats around me that were previously empty quickly began to fill up with a variety of people - I didn’t like it. Normally I wouldn’t feel stressed if someone just sat next to me, but I was feeling a bit on-edge, so when it got to the point that I was surrounded at all angles by dozens of people, I started to get a little anxious. My hand grasped the arm of the chair tightly, my fingers rapping against it rhythmically. It was unintentional that I had incorporated my musical talent in to this moment. “Shit,” I murmured in a voice too silent for anyone around me to hear. I searched clumsily through my jacket pocket for my phone and pulled it out only to find that I had forgotten my headphones. “Shit,” I repeated. I stood up, making the decision that I wouldn’t sit there and feel bad about myself for any longer. Glancing around, I looked for people that I could strike up a conversation with, but as I had already known for some time, out of the few friends I had at college, none of them had really gone on the trip. I knew one or two people that I could speak with casually, but I wouldn’t necessarily feel comfortable about it right now. I walked over to one of the walls, away from the other passengers, and leant against it, closing my eyes and inhaling as the tension filtered away slowly. I didn’t always have these kind of problems, but it seems with losing my mother and the drugs and stuff, I had began to have panic attacks every now and then, but they weren’t too major. Now I waited, trying to relax before I would board the plane.