Lincoln sat just staring at the box, his rough fingers sliding over the smooth velvet, his fingertips taking in the most worn parts and imagining Tasha's fingers sliding over the same spot time and time again to make it all wear away. The ring was inside, as beautiful as her eyes, as bright as the first day that he had laid his own eyes upon it. He knew what he had to do and it made him wonder on the past again. He recalled his proposal and the sheer exhilaration and joy in the answer all that time ago. But with the good memories came the bad and Lincoln was left recalling feeling the worst he had ever felt in his entire life.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
After Tasha
The rain poured down and continued to freeze Lincoln in place, his entire body was shaking but it wasn't from the chill he was getting, no. He was shaking from grief, from being told that his life was leaving. His jeans clung to his legs and felt heavy against his skin, his knees ached but he still couldn't gather the strength to get up off the sidewalk and go back inside. The rain was getting worse and worse and frankly it fit his mind right in that very moment. Dark, dreary, wet, cold, it all made sense to him right there. The world was not a bright place; it was filled with pain and sorrow and heartache.
It took until his doorman
Frank came out to check on him for Lincoln to get off his knees and head back inside. Frank wrapped him up in a warm bathrobe and helped Lincoln back to his apartment. A cup of coffee, two bottles of whiskey and a lot of tears later and Lincoln finally fell asleep. It was a restless night and he was supposed to be on duty the next day but Lincoln woke up on the hour, every hour; sometimes to be sick, others to drink some more. It was safe to say that he did not make it into work that day, or the next, or the day after that, or the day after that either.
A week passed with no communication from Lincoln to the hospital and that's when one of his co-workers,
Evan, came around to his place to find out what was wrong. Of course, the news that Dr. Brinne had moved hospitals and now Lincoln not showing up for shifts, it was already a massive talking point around the hospital. No one knew what had happened but their was betting pools going on for when the real story came out. Evan wasn't a big fan of it and didn't take part, but he couldn't blame people for being curious. I mean, they had just got engaged a couple weeks ago, why would Natasha have left the hospital so suddenly?
Evan stood outside Lincoln's apartment building and hit dial on his cell. He'd tried calling him already, had left voicemail and texts but figured it was still courtesy to give a call before showing up at someone's apartment. Old school but just how he worked. When there was no answer yet again he stepped forward and walked towards the building. Frank opened the door and let him inside, glancing curiously at Evan's uniform. He of course recognised it and, against his better judgement, called after Evan as he walked inside further.
"Excuse me, are you here to see Mr. Roberts?"
Evan heard the name and frowned slightly as he turned to look at the doorman. "Yes... Has something happened?"
"Yes and no. He is in his apartment and is... safe, but he is not in a good place right now. Do you know which apartment is his?"
"I've been once or twice but can't remember the exact number, no..." Evan scratched the back of his head and looked at the ground as he admitted he was just going to go up there and start knocking on doors.
"Apartment 2-B. The door is pretty obvious. It's the one with a patched up area on it. Don't ask..." Frank sighed and shook his head as if recalling a bad moment.
"Right you are, thank you sir." Evan gave Frank a nod of approval and thanks before taking the elevator up to the second floor.
Right enough the door was glaringly obvious as the white door held a non painted area that had been patched up quickly. The area looked to be about torso level so any number of things could have caused the damage. Lifting his hand hesitantly, Evan knocked on the door hard and clear three times.
"FUCK OFF." The words were slurred, loud and angry. A thud and then shattering glass sounded from behind the front door. Brown liquid began to seep out from the bottom of the door. "Lincoln! It's Evan, buddy. Open up! The boss is wondering if you're dead or alive and if you're alive I've to come back with a reason!"
Shuffling steps could be heard, along with a clank of something metal before the footsteps grew louder and closer. A heavy hand hit the back of the door and then the locks began to sound as Lincoln worked to unlock them. The chain slid and rattled against the door and the heavy wood flew open and slammed against the wall as the back of Lincoln began to shuffle back into the apartment. Evan blinked and looked at the shattered glass on the floor, a familiar label on some a larger piece of glass showed that it had been bourbon that was inside. Stepping over the worst of it, he turned and closed the apartment door behind him and headed on inside.
"Lincoln man, what the hell happened?" His eyes scanned around the apartment. In the couple times he had been here the place was immaculate. Now? There were takeout containers, pizza boxes, empty bottles of booze, dirty clothing, bits of half eaten food and god only knows what else all over the place. It looked like a squatter had moved in and refused to leave if he was being honest.
"Lifestyle changes." Lincoln turned around and looked at Evan. His eyes were entirely bloodshot and dark circles sat beneath them. He could barely look straight, his eyes wandered to and fro as if he was looking for something but never finding it. He had a beard that was so long that Evan could barely believe it had grown in just a week. His skin looked sallow and his hair clung to his face. Honestly, the man looked like a hobo.
"Listen man, I don't know what happened and frankly it ain't none of my business."
"Yeah, y-you're d-*hic*-amn fucking ri-*hic*-i-*hic*-ight it isn't any of y-your bus-*hic*-iness!" Lincoln grabbed a bottle of beer from a nearby surface and flung himself down on the sofa. The sofa looked like he'd been using it as a bed. He swigged a mouthful from the bottle and then threw it across the room. Even though it was no where near him, Evan flinched and widened his eyes in surprise at Lincoln's attitude.
"Look, we're worried about you. The boss wants to know what's going on with you. You've left him in a bad position and he needs to know if you're going to be back into work any time soon. You've already got a week unpaid and he wants to know if you want to use any holiday time or if you're even ever coming back? He said he wouldn't blame you since Doctor Brin-"
Another bottle, full this time, flew towards Evan and hit him square on the chest. It didn't shatter against him but it hurt like a bitch. The bottle shattered as it hit the floor.
"DON'T YOU FUCKING SAY THAT NAME!" "Whoa! SHIT MAN! What the hell?! I didn't mean..." But it was too late. Lincoln was up and grabbing Evan by the back of the neck and forcefully guiding him out of his apartment and back into the hallway. "Lincoln, you're hurting me!" Evan didn't want to fight him. Something seriously wrong had happened between him and Natasha and it wasn't his place to butt in. The least he could do is to relay back to the boss and let him know that Lincoln was in a bad place and needed some more time. Evan staggered forward as Lincoln shoved him out and then slammed the door in his face.
Evan sighed and rubbed his face. The boss wasn't going to be happy but he'd tried at least. He made his way out of the building, leaving Lincoln alone to his misery.
After the door had slammed shut, Lincoln had dug out his cell from the mess that was now his apartment and hit dial on his boss's number. He listen to the ring tone and swayed from side to side and didn't even give the person on the other end of the line a chance to say anything.
"I'll call when I'm coming back. So fuck off and leave me alone." He then hung up and snapped his phone in two.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
That had only been the start of it all. Things had been bad, really bad, but Lincoln had managed to get himself through it. He has days where he doesn't remember anything thanks to the drink but something kept pulling him through the bad times and, even though she might have been the catalyst that set him off on that journey, Lincoln likes to think that Tasha pulled him back out of his darkness even if it was through his own wishful thinking. She was his light and now, in her time of darkness, he needed to be hers.
He had been so lost in the memories and thoughts that he had barely noticed the time moving on and it wasn't until Murphy called on him that he realised Doctor Kumar was walking slowly towards them. His heart dropped into the pit of his stomach but something inside him knew it wasn't the worst news, it was just bad news. Bad news was better than the worst news. This couldn't be the worst news, if it was Doctor Kumar wouldn't have been so hesitant.
Lincoln snapped the ring box shut again and shoved it deep into his jean pocket before standing up and walking directly over to the doctor.
"Did she make it? Is she still alive?" He was cutting right through the bullshit and headed straight for the point.
Cass reached out and took Murphy's hand but let him lead her towards the doctor. She was planning on being there for him if this was going to be bad news but didn't want to stop him from being able to help his friends should they need him. She half regretted coming here as she felt like she was in the way but she was also glad to be here... just in case.
