Race/Ethnicty in Attraction and Dating

[Dolerman]

Wooo, aint messing about with this one, time for something a bit heavy.

So one of the most fascinating things to me as someone who works in the dating industry, is that racial discrimination(both positive and negative) is broadly socially unacceptable in all contexts apart from dating. You can hear something like " I dont find <race> people particularly attractive" or "I find myself more drawn to qualities in <race> people". Now I'm not saying its racism and I'm not saying its not racism, but its an aspect of preference that seems to be uncomfortable to explaore so......lets explore it.

I ask you these questions.

Do you date outside your race? If so how often?

How do you view racial prefrences as whole? (in society)

Do you find yourself attracted or not attracted to certain race or races?

Can you describe why you might have these prefrences/dislikes?

Do you think your mind has changed about any of this from the past or is subject to change in the future?

I will answer theese myself, but feel free to go first. Unlike my other threads, this is a fairly serious topic so I although I would usually encourage it, I ask that the snark be kept to a minimum.

[GirlOnMarz]

Do you date outside your race? If so how often?

• So far, I've only dated black men and women, but I would most definitely date outside of my race.

How do you view racial preferences as whole? (in society)

• These exclusionary racial "preferences" are racist. Seeing this topic definitely just brought up some really bad memories from middle school. I remember these two guys (white and Latino) who literally said to my face that they'd never consider dating me because they "just don't find black girls attractive." I mean, people are entitled to their taste and you can’t really help who you fall in love with, but why would someone completely write off dating someone solely because of their skin color? Like, out of the 7 billion people in the world, you mean to tell me that there isn't one black woman that you'd find attractive? It's just so frustrating. Saying that you'd only want to date a specific race is problematic because it defines someone by their ethnicity.

Do you find yourself attracted or not attracted to certain race or races?

• No.

Do you think your mind has changed about any of this from the past or is subject to change in the future?

• I've had the same opinion on this topic for years, and I do not see it changing in the future.

[El Noche]

Q. Do you date outside your race? If so how often?

A. Yes, I do. Most of the women I am surrounded by do not share my racial origins. Also the women who have been most enthusiastic about their attraction to me have also not been of the same race as I. So most of my "dating" life involves women not of my race for those two reasons.

Q. How do you view racial preferences as whole? (in society)

A. I view racial preferences as a concept that is for the most part socially motivated, rather than mostly biologically motivated like some would argue. In my experience I have found those who publicly state that they don't date X group or so, yet in private will carry on casual flings with members of X group clandestinely. It seems more to me to be a matter of status and group cohesion. In instances where someone with hard racial leanings regarding mate selection encounters a particularly high value individual of another race, they will often jump ship, the value of their new outgroup partner offsetting the loss of status and exclusion from the ingroup.

Q. Do you find yourself attracted or not attracted to certain race or races?

A. No. Women are Women, apples are apples, some are green, some are red.

Q. Can you describe why you might have these prefrences/dislikes?

A.Perhaps if I grew up in a more homogeneous environment I would have such preferences.

Q. Do you think your mind has changed about any of this from the past or is subject to change in the future?

A.Perhaps. Though I think not.

[Dion]

Do you date outside your race? If so how often?

Yes. I've dated one white (Dutch) girl and several Asian girls.

How do you view racial prefrences as whole? (in society)

I don't care what others prefer. It's a natural thing, just like racism and sexism. Doesn't mean it's good, but I also think that if someone prefers, I don't know, black women/men due to their physical traits, that that is not a problem.

Do you find yourself attracted or not attracted to certain race or races?

I like women of all creeds and color, but there is most certainly a 'preference' although it is small. I wouldn't write someone off on the basis of the color of their skin, but there are certain physical traits in certain races that I prefer over those of others. Then again, in those other races there might be something I like that I dislike in other races.

I prefer to judge on the basis of the individual themselves.

Can you describe why you might have these prefrences/dislikes?

Physical traits, mostly, but also typical stereotypes in terms of sociality and personality. Those have mostly to do with how people (women, in my case, and probably men for those straight women) of certain races act in my country. I've formed my own stereotype of them, and I can see that there are individuals that do not match this stereotype despite being of that race - but the majority seems to match it. I don't consider that racist, because I am still capable of making a distinct choice based on the individual.

Do you think your mind has changed about any of this from the past or is subject to change in the future?

No, and I don't think it will change, because I enjoy beautiful women, and I think women of all races can be beautiful. Also, I'm not that picky.

[CherriesJubilee]

Q.Do you date outside your race? If so how often?

A. I have a few times... If we're talking skin color (a few mixed relationships. 2 White and Latino boys and one white and Asian guy) but ethnicity-wise (country) I've dated a lot of Americans (go figure, since I'm American, but most didn't live in my state) and a few Europeans, actually.

Q.How do you view racial prefrences as whole? (in society)

A.I get it for cultural reasons, but I believe everyone should try to have one friend from each general region. Having mixed friends is quite enjoyable, as well. (I personally prefer having Asian or White friends. I don't know why, but I'm just drawn to them more)

Q. Do you find yourself attracted or not attracted to certain race or races? / Can you describe why you might have these prefrences/dislikes?

A. As previously stated, I like "white" and Asian people, but I actually like them for daring because some of them tend to be emo and or possibly look great to me (I love the contrast of pale skin and dark hair or the majestic beauty of tan skin and, yet again, dark hair). I also have a need of having in-depth conversations with them, which usually takes time, respectively varying from entity to entity.... I also find some cultural aspects intriguing and I then want to get to know them and ask.

Q.Do you think your mind has changed about any of this from the past or is subject to change in the future?

A. It might be subject to change, but that would take some time and seemingly strange circumstances to occur.

[Dolerman]

Do you date outside your race? If so how often?

I've never dated my exact racial mix, so basically exculsively yes.

How do you view racial prefrences as whole? (in society)

I think some are based on just asthetics (skin tones or features) but clearly some are based in preconceptions or past experiences.

Do you find yourself attracted or not attracted to certain race or races?

Broadly I seem to be more drawn to women from the asian continent, and I mean the entire asian continent so that includes india, pakistan, indonesia, malaysia etc. But thats not a strong preference I can find myself attracted to any race really.

Can you describe why you might have these prefrences/dislikes?
In my immediate area, asians seem to have slightly stricter families and upbringings which makes them less likely to be avid party/drinking/casual drugs types which I cant stand. There are many exceptions and the stereotype is reversed in different parts of my country. But I've found when looking for a girl who would rather have a cup of coffee and a conversation as apposed to a night out on the weekend, they have slight majority asian.

Do you think your mind has changed about any of this from the past or is subject to change in the future?
Probably not, I dont think I'll stop finding certain races attractive or suddenly find one race my sole focus. But maybe I might look at my dating history in 10 years and see a slight demographic majority change. Why that is? I wont know until it happens, if it happens at all.

[Ace of Hearts]

How do you view racial prefrences as whole? (in society)

I don't care what others prefer. It's a natural thing, just like racism and sexism.

@Buddha

[Dolerman]

@Ace of Hearts can we stay on topic please?

[Ace of Hearts]

@Ace of Hearts can we stay on topic please?

@Dynamo Frokane

[ham]

Do you date outside your race? If so how often?
Yep, whenever the occasion arises.

How do you view racial preferences as whole? (in society)
In terms of friends, I think a person should try to diversify their friends to understand cultural differences. In terms of relationships, I think understanding the cultural differences and learning to close the gap between the two is where we should start in opening up to different cultures.

I don't think the discussion should be "Let's see pass race" but more "Let's understand what our culture stands for then see their differences and go from there". I think its far better to acknowledge than to dismiss (not to imply that anyone's doing that in this thread).

I hope to see more opportunities open up in the future as cultural boundaries are defined and understood.

Do you find yourself attracted or not attracted to certain race or races?
I'm not sure but I'm open to any possibility based on where we are at in our lives.

Can you describe why you might have these preferences/dislikes?
I don't think I have any preference because I grew up with a lot of diversity. I think more people either notice people's personality or attractiveness despite their inherent racial traits.

Do you think your mind has changed about any of this from the past or is subject to change in the future?
I'm sure it will change depending on where society will head. I usually counter societal norms but it isn't consistent. I hope that if I do change my mind it is for the better and not the worse.

[Lady Absinthia]

Okay, going to start out with this - I am mixed but primarily of Caucasian decent. So will go with "I'm a white chic" for purposes of answering these questions.

Do you date outside your race? If so how often?
Yes, I have dated people of Hispanic, Middle Eastern, African and Asian decent in the past.

How do you view racial preferences as whole?
I think everyone has a preference to what they are or are not attracted to, whether that be race or body type or even eye color. I feel there is nothing wrong with it as long as it is not tainted by a general mental prejudice of a certain race.

Do you find yourself attracted or not attracted to certain race or races?
I could say that I have no preference when it comes to race but my dating history alone would prove that to be a lie. Looking back on the men and women I have been involved with I primarily date people that are Caucasian, so yeah looks like I have a preference. Like a box of chocolates - I'll eat any of those little truffles that strike my fancy but I do have favorites I lean towards.

Can you describe why you might have these preferences/dislikes?
Personally I chalk it up to genetics. We are animals. Animals tend to be attracted to certain markers that makes the other desirable; whether that be certain proportions or not. For me, I am a Sapiosexual so it is more about the mind than the body. Why mostly Caucasian? Probably demographics - I am just around and exposed to more "white" people than I am of other ethnicity's; so the dating pool was always slanted in one direction.

Do you think your mind has changed about any of this from the past or is subject to change in the future?
I don't think it has changed much from when I was younger. I was dating both outside and inside my race when I was teen and just chalked it up to be attracted to people's minds and personalities back then as I do now. Doubt it will change in the future because frankly, I am happy with my outlook and sexual preferences, but if it does it does. Change is part of life.

[Garattee]

Do you date outside your race? If so how often?

Yes, I only date women of east asian descent.

How do you view racial prefrences as whole? (in society)

I suppose its fine, its been normal for me my whole life.

Do you find yourself attracted or not attracted to certain race or races?

I honestly dont find any woman who is non-asian attractive.

Can you describe why you might have these prefrences/dislikes?
Well I suppose I grew up watching a lot of TV from those reigons and the people on screen is what I became used to and found attractive. Plus for some reason, I get attention from almost only asian girls.

Do you think your mind has changed about any of this from the past or is subject to change in the future?
No I dont think so.

[TheMadAsshatter]

Do you date outside your race? If so how often?

I haven't yet, but I can see myself doing it.

How do you view racial prefrences as whole? (in society)

I think that it's normal in terms of dating; just like being attracted to people with certain hair color, eye color, freckles, facial structure. When it comes to dating all it's about is being attracted to certain phenotypical features.

Do you find yourself attracted or not attracted to certain race or races?

I think I prefer Caucasians as a general rule, but I do also find Middle Eastern and Asian women to be pretty attractive.

Can you describe why you might have these preferences/dislikes?

Just what I find attractive, but it could also be that I generally find that the above mentioned ethnicities tend to have features that I find attractive.

Do you think your mind has changed about any of this from the past or is subject to change in the future?

No, and possibly.