Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by AlteredTundra
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AlteredTundra

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It has been a year since this special brand of sarcasm has hit the Guild's pages. They were a hit, whether it be the Anime, Film, or Television varieties. People loved them, so much so that I'm bringing them back for a second go-around. This time, however, they are going in spam, because it's where they truly belong. How glorious, right?

And now, without any further ado, a few rules to keep in mind!
Here's how it works:
1. Choose any well-known film - either individual titles or as a collective series
2. Write a summary - just a short one of 1 to 2 sentences will suffice
3. The catch? The synopsis has to be in such way that it makes the movie sound (utterly) worthless

TL;DR:
= Refrain from using profanities as much as possible. You don't need to resort to lame curses to be humorous.
= Seriously, no essay rants. No one is going to bother reading that and it's not even remotely funny
= To anyone who may be fans of the movies mentioned in this thread, this is purely for entertainment and no bashing is intended. Don't like what you see here? Then don't even come in here in the first place.
= Recurrence of titles that have already been done is allowed, but please don't plagiarize other people's summaries.
Tsukune

Originally by Tsukune

Let us have some fun with this, yeah?
Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by SouffleGirl123
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SouffleGirl123 Guild's Sweetheart

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Twilight; It's not pedophilia if he looks 17
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Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by AlteredTundra
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AlteredTundra

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The Departed - Jack Dawson didn't die - he pulled a Captain America, got frozen in an iceberg for a few decades, and became an undercover cop.
Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by AlteredTundra
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AlteredTundra

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Big Hero Six - *fist bump* Bah-la-la-la-la-la
Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by Lady Selune
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Lady Selune Lamia Queen, Young and Sweet.

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The Matrix: Woah.
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Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by TwelveOf8
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TwelveOf8 The second apostle is mine.

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Pulp Fiction

The most badass English lesson followed by the most badass piece of relationship advice ever put to film.
Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by XxLyraxX
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XxLyraxX

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Sharknado
Because it's completely normal for sharks to be able to climb ropes with their teeth, whilst being suspended over a bus.
Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by AlteredTundra
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AlteredTundra

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Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter - A totally realistic, accurate portrayal of Honest Abe's life and not at all a work of fiction.
Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by TwelveOf8
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TwelveOf8 The second apostle is mine.

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Trolls 2

They're eating her, and then they're going to eat me. Oh my Gooooodddddd!
Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by Briza
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Briza

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Ostrov

A cowardly man spends his entire life seeking repentance for that time he shot his best friend in the chest and then proceeds to request to be buried in an old box with fish nets after curing a girl who liked to quack like a duck.
Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by ClocktowerEchos
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ClocktowerEchos Come Fly With Me!

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Batman v. Superman: MMMMAAAAAAARRRRRRTTTTTTTTTTTHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
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