Max seemed to take the report in stride - outwardly, at least - and while Aaron dared to hope that meant that the horrible things his clone had been spouting had just been designed to shock him, he wouldn’t dismiss the possibility that they actually reflected his… whatever they were. Aims? He hoped not; for whatever reason he’d actually taken a liking to the guy, and even aside from his horror at the thought of him
murdering his master, he’d hate to see his head chopped off for something so utterly
pointless. Things were quiet while Max was gone, Aaron taking advantage of the chance to rest. He was honestly surprised no one had anything to say about his second report. He must have been sufficiently detailed to satisfy Varis - one thing finally done right tonight. Max wasn’t gone long, though, and soon enough he popped back out just as suddenly as he’d disappeared.
Aaron snuck a glance at him from his place on the ground, only to be utterly shocked by what he saw; Max, with posture subdued, politely asking his master for a moment. A stark contrast from his attitude prior to his trial, to say the least, not to mention his attitude from every other moment of every night. That alone would raise some eyebrows, not to mention the secrecy. What, Aaron had to report his experience in agonizing detail and Max got away with a few whispers? Different masters, he supposed, but he was surprised that Varis didn’t have anything to say about it. Or maybe he did, judging by that incredulous look on his face when he told Aaron to stand.
Varis’ order seemed a little out-of-the-blue, but Aaron made a mental note to complete it nonetheless. Malek was the senior mage of Varis’ household, technically the estate archivist if memory served, but in his head Aaron always considered him a sort of informal majordomo, judging by the broad range of matters Varis tended to contact him over. Aaron didn’t have the slightest clue what Varis would need the man for now, let alone what
here would have reminded him of it, but he’d leave his questions for when they finally got out of these woods.
He offered a polite bow of the head and a quiet
“Yes, Master,” in response before stepping back as the two vampires approached the skull. Varis surprised him a bit when he placed his hand on the thing without a moment’s hesitation, and they both vanished, leaving him and Max alone.
All was quiet for a moment after they disappeared. When they didn’t instantly reappear, Aaron let his posture relax, cracking the hand warmers in his pockets - apparently his gloves had been warmer than he gave them credit for. He had every intention of waiting for the vampires’ return in silence - it didn’t even feel awkward with Max anymore - but eventually, despite having done his best on numerous occasions to quash the feeling outright, his curiosity got the better of him.
“So how’d that go?” He asked curiously, turning a bit to face Max.
“Did I give you much trouble? You weren’t gone long.”Max barely acknowledged Aaron, going back to being as aloof as ever once the two vampires had disappeared. Of course the Retriever wanted to talk, why wouldn’t he? If this was about whatever bullshit they pulled out of his head to make that clone, Max was considering actually getting the fight with Aaron he’d been expecting in the skull. Surely he’d get at least a hit or two in before Eris popped back out and started laughing at him.
“Nah, you waxed poetic about your innermost woes and then started crying,” He lied effortlessly,
“Never would’ve expected someone like you to be hiding something like that.” Shot in the dark, but somebody as repressed as Aaron had to have
something he was ashamed of bottled up inside him. Granted, it was probably something fucking lame like ‘one time I forgot to fold master’s socks the way he wanted them!’ that was haunting him, but it wasn’t like Max had anything to lose here.
Hm. Maybe these clones
were on the simplistic side. Aaron chose to take that as reassurance; if his clone acted
that out of character then maybe all that stuff Max’s had been saying
was just wild speculation meant to shock him. Unless Max was just bullshiitting him - hard to tell, really, and it wasn’t like he expected Max to come out and say he got his ass kicked - he didn’t expect to be able to coax a straight answer out of the man when Eris and Varis could pop back into existence at any moment. Or at all, for that matter.
“Is that so,” he commented dismissively, opting not to take the bait and instead casting a glance back at the skull. After a moment, he let out a ghost of a laugh.
“Is that what you skulked off to tell Eris then? I would have expected a bit more of a triumphant return.” Or a bit more smug, at least. With at least a handful more snide little insults.
Max clicked his tongue, offering a tight-lipped exhale in vague amusement,
“You didn’t even flinch. You’re such a fucking tool.” That, or completely shameless, which was definitely a possibility given how Aaron usually conducted himself. Possibly both.
“I got Eric, not you. Which means Cinnamon is getting you by process of elimination. So, y’know, have fun with that conversation.” He wasn’t sure how open the Retriever was with Varis, but he couldn’t imagine Varis would pass up the chance to psychoanalyze him later even if the leech spent the whole time in the skull dodging sunlight beams instead of talking.
“And before you try saying anything; no, I didn’t get my ass kicked by a D-list actor. That conversation was about something else and I didn’t want anyone butting in.”Aaron let out a real laugh that time, shaking his head. Maybe Max’s clone wasn’t that far off after all. Max getting Eris though, that changed things a bit. Apparently the theory of mage vs mage and vampire vs vampire could be thrown out, and he had to admit that Max’s prediction didn’t sit well with him.
“I’m sure he can differentiate between what I do and what some exaggerated clone does,” he reasoned, more for his own benefit than Max’s, even if he didn’t entirely believe it himself. Things that crossed Varis tended to end up falling on him - the handprints on his arm were proof enough of that - and he was sure this would be no different. He had to laugh again.
“And I suppose it’d be dumb to hope he somehow ends up facing himself.” He shook his head again, spinning his ring in his pocket, before finally shrugging.
“In any case, if my clone spouts off as outlandishly as yours did, he might just come out in a better mood than he went in.”So Aaron didn’t know yet. Interesting. He didn’t know what that asshole clone of his was saying and how much was an exaggeration, but dwelling on it sounded like a quick way to end up in some sentimental nonsense about feelings. Better to change the subject.
“Dunno about yours, but our riddle said something about facing others.” Max held up a finger as he spoke to illustrate his point,
“Now, that could still be accomplished if Eric fought you - it’s our riddle, after all - but this is a bonding exercise at its core. Along with whatever prank Ryner’s pulling on the uptight vamps, anyway. Varis getting himself doesn’t solve anything unless he’s living in extreme denial in every corner of his subconscious.” Max brought up a second finger,
“But, if I’m wrong on that, each of these matchups seems deliberate. I’m the only one you couldn’t melt in a handful of seconds, so you got me. Eric’s the only one I can’t talk down in the first few retorts, so I got him. Granted, both leeches can probably talk your pansy ass down, but Eric would have more trouble with Cinnamon than you.” A third finger came up,
“Plus, it plays into the prank hypothesis for Varis to get beat up by his submissive little pet.”His deductive skills weren’t as spot on as he’d have liked them to be today, but he couldn’t think of any reason why anyone would luck out and get themselves. The answer would be too easy to anyone with even a hint of introspective ability.
The comment about Varis facing himself had been mostly wishful thinking, but Max did bring up a few interesting points. He could easily see Princess Ryner getting a kick out of Varis having to face a more powerful version of him, though the other side of that was that she should know to expect Varis to take out that kind of frustration on him when he got back. Maybe she expected them to come out of this challenge understanding each other better, or something. Or maybe she just didn’t care so long as she got her jollies out of it.
He pushed that thought aside in favour of a different line of inquiry.
“If this one is deliberate, do you think the whole test is contrived?” he asked,
“Or was it luck that we ended up in the same challenge? You’d think it was deliberate since it’s our clones in this challenge, but what if one of us had gotten a challenge wrong and gone the wrong way? Do you think maybe instead of being pre-planned, it might just generate in the image of whoever happened to come across it?” That would throw a wrench into Max’s interpretation, but he supposed however they matched pairs might also be generated on the fly. Hell, they were probably all being closely monitored, with mages behind the scenes ready to make adjustments if need be. It was all very unnecessary, if you asked him.
“And how exactly is this testing our night vision, anyway?” he added, a bit of frustration finally coming out.
“I haven’t even had my spell active since we found this clearing, and it’s not much of a Mortal Psychology test when one of the vampires is facing the other.” “This isn’t testing night vision. That’s a farce to justify the whole exercise.” Max grumbled. The ulterior motive was obvious from the onset, but given the content of the test had literally nothing to do with magic at all, let alone the spell they were being tested on, there was no doubt in his mind that this was planned extensively.
“I don’t think every single test was tailored to each individual pair, that’d take way too fucking long. But I think the start positions were deliberately set so that each pair only had a few options that they could move in, and I think certain tests were planned more than others.” Max pointed to the skull accusingly,
“Take this one. I dunno how long it takes to probe someone’s head and make a clone with all their memories, but I doubt these things can be conjured effortlessly.” “Now, assuming one of the pairs hadn’t shown up, there’s probably a few different ways this test could go.” Probably just Max vs Eris and vice versa, and likewise for the other two. Still serves the bonding exercise purpose, it’s just not as ideal as the matchups would be with four people.
“That, or they have way too many mind mages with too much time on their hands running this thing and making decisions on the fly for each pair. Which seems like a recipe for someone to fuck up an illusion.”At least, he assumed. He had no idea how any of this magic shit worked; hell, he could barely handle basic affinity magic at this point. Though it was a little unsettling to think some jackass hiding behind a tree - if you’re hearing this, asshole, you better hope I don’t see you - could pry that into his head so casually. Even if he did decide to make his clone a complete bitch. Seriously, clone-Eris was pulling out people from his memory even Max didn’t know he knew!
Aaron nearly groaned; he’d had similar suspicions, but he wasn’t excited to have them confirmed. For the umpteeth time that night he wondered why the Princess was so insistent on
bonding and
introspection and
emotional honesty. Sure, maybe those things were important for his arcane major, but why for this? And why in front of people? It was bad enough he’d have to open up in private with a mental magic instructor sworn by royal oath to secrecy, why did his Spell Theory grade hinge on doing the same thing in the forest with who-knew-how-many administrators watching? And
Varis?! Sighing, he pinched the bridge of his nose, uninterested in dwelling on the topic.
“Too many mind mages with too much time on their hands might not even be too far from the truth,” he commented, remembering what Hannah had told him about the Hive.
“Apparently the Mental majors are a little crew who link their minds up together like some kind of horrible privacy-bypassing mental group chat, I wouldn’t be surprised if they had a hand in this too.” What the fuck, some shithead that was barely older than him might have a hand in this? At least with faculty, there was a certain level of professionalism they were more or less held to. Max didn’t need a reason not to talk to people to begin with, but now he was definitely avoiding any of those mental major fucks. The whole setup was fucking creepy and anyone that willingly agreed to that was likewise fucking creepy.
“You’re telling me there’s a decent chance we’re all getting clowned on psychic social media right now?” Max groaned. He didn’t need random people he’d never met talking about him. Hell, he’d been putting off looking up his own name on the internet just in case Eris’ following had picked up on his existence yet. At the very least, they had to have seen his appearance if not his name by now. He wasn’t sure if the negative attention or the horny attention - let’s be real,
somebody had to have thought it by now - would be worse. Probably the latter. Definitely the latter.
“If I catch some self-important TA poking around in my head you can say goodbye to your kneecaps, asshole!” Max shouted up into the sky. He had no idea how they were being monitored or who was doing it, but it was cathartic to yell at his unseen enemy. Wasn’t like impoliteness on his part was going to come as much of a shock to anyone that spent any time in his mind.
A chuckle escaped Aaron, though he wouldn’t deny that the prospect was unsettling at best. But
someone had to have been in his head for Max’s clone to so efficiently dig into issues he barely admitted to himself. Or was he just that much more outward with them than he thought? If that was the alternative, he’d almost prefer the mental mages.
Almost.
“I would hope they didn’t let students pull the strings, but with Her Highness’ penchant for inclusion and participation, I wouldn’t make any promises either,” he admitted, tone somewhere between exasperated and annoyed. He’d taken on the Mental major
specifically to
protect himself from people meddling in his head, but here it was, not just incidental but
part of the test, before he even had the chance to learn to defend himself? Bit of a dirty trick if you asked him. He was surprised the Princess would sign off on such a blatant invasion of privacy.
He cast a weary look at the skull; the enthusiasm for magic that had pumped him up at the beginning was long gone, fatigue from the night’s events washing over him. At least all traces of his fight with Max had disappeared, but his arm still throbbed and his head still hurt from earlier, and he didn’t know how long that concealer Varis gave him would hold before the full force of the circles under his eyes showed through. Despite knowing some variety of tantrum was waiting for him when he and Varis finally got out of the woods, above all he just wanted to be done with it already.
“Let’s just hope this is the last challenge involving a deep dive into our heads and that they don’t take too much longer getting through it,” he concluded, pinching the bridge of his nose. He made a mental note to recommend adding Advil to those little kits they gave out to students.
“Eric already agreed to make a beeline for the exit after this. I can only hope we don’t get dicked around too much if we choose to ignore the rest of the extra credit,” Max huffed as he lowered himself into a squat and pulled out a granola bar he’d swiped from the staging area.
“What about you guys? Was this optional for you too or are we butting into your test here?” That could explain why they crossed paths, if the extra credit was simply to take on other people’s tests as well. It would promote teamwork or whatever corny crap this test was supposed to do, plus reduce the amount of work the planners had to do by throwing a bunch of people in the same test together. If that was the case, Max was definitely not in favor of raising his grade anymore. Running into even more insufferable leeches wasn’t worth any grade they could possibly give him, especially if he had to work with some wild card he knew nothing about rather than known variables like Retriever and Cinnamon.
“Coming this way was optional for you two?” Aaron asked, a bit of jealousy pricking at the back of his mind at the prospect of just charging to the end. But Varis would accept nothing less than perfection even in his state, and even if he wanted to just get everything over with, Aaron would have to admit that doing anything less than his best wouldn’t sit well with him either.
“This way was our only option, unless I misunderstood something. We had a bizarre challenge and at the end of that, it just pointed us here.” Damn, that meant this was probably extra credit for Max and Eris, but required for him and Varis. By his count that meant they hadn’t encountered
any optional challenges yet, much to his chagrin.
That meant mindfuckery wasn’t delegated solely to the extra credit, great. Max wasn’t exactly thrilled that he might end up in another situation like this as a mandatory part of the exam, but at least that lent credence to his theory that crossovers happened only during the extra credit. Not that he could really call one occurence proof of anything, but he was hopeful. All four of them would likely get the same directions after this, and he definitely didn’t need a bigger party than that skulking through a forest with him. Good news was, he could hypothetically have Aaron guide all three of them if he ever got tired of spellcasting. At least until they broke off to go for bonus points.
“This better be the only part of the test that’s this annoying. Clone-Eric really wanted to be my friend there at the end, it was creepy.” Max toyed with the discarded wrapper of his granola bar while he talked, levitating it in increasingly elaborate patterns out of boredom.
Aaron watched the wrapper float around for a moment before responding.
“Yeah, yours got pretty chummy too for a minute there,” he droned, cracking a smirk.
“Before he turned literally everything into knives.”Max grimaced in distaste as Aaron started speaking, but was cut off before he could protest. He still couldn’t tell how exaggerated these copies were. There was a bit of truth in there, in any case. He eventually gave a resigned nod in place of any retort,
“Mm. I was gonna accuse you of being full of shit but that second part sounds right. Eris didn’t even try hitting me, but you got a whole ass fight.”“Lucky me,” Aaron sighed.
“You also melted Dawn, made a whip out of liquid metal and turned those metal orbs into literal volcanoes,” he crossed his arms, though he couldn’t help but keep on smirking.
“And melted the coin, too. Even clone you is a spiteful bastard.” Max let out an amused snort. Admittedly, that sounded pretty sick. What would Aaron’s clone have done to him? Give him a headache from all the flashing lights? The coin melting was just genius, too. Fuck, maybe these clones were accurate, if a bit dramatic.
“And they said I needed to go take arcane classes. Pfft. You know more about this than I do, how long’s it take to pull that kind of shit off?” Melting shit on demand at the very least would be useful. Feliks was shaping his cane into whatever the hell he wanted, so Max saw no reason why he couldn’t turn the metal he was wearing into a multipurpose solution to fucking everything too.
“Probably three or four years, give or take,” Aaron made an educated guess. Metal was a tertiary affinity if he remembered correctly, so it might roughly coincide with his own progression, assuming what he saw the clone doing was to be the apex of Max’s power.
“I think unless you want to do something really specialized, you’re supposed to more or less realize your full potential by the time your tenure here is up.” Too long, he wanted instant gratification. Whatever, it beat studying painstakingly for years and years only to master fucking growing weeds or whatever Flower Boy was going to do. And that wasn’t even the worst affinity, Max was sure.
“That’s handy, I guess. Just in time to start my public debut off right by turning some paparazzi fuck’s camera into nails and feeding it to him.” Max mused half-jokingly. He was fully committed to his initial plan of flinging chairs at Eris’ fans until they decided to leave him alone if they ever approached him.
“What about you? Your affinity’s pretty useless for vampire shoe shining. Varis gonna put you to work assassinating his rivals or something?”Not that Max had any idea what use Eris had even considered for him. Assistant secretary - was Ismene even his secretary? He had no idea what anyone under Eris did besides listen to him whine, honestly - was his best guess, and metal magic was at least tangentially useful pretty much anywhere, but most mages seemed like they were wasting their talents.
All the more reason for those complacent fucks to be ashamed of themselves.
Aaron shrugged.
“No idea,” he admitted, though he didn’t seem too put out by it.
“Assassinating, spying on people, espionage, could be anything.” The possibilities of his affinity really were wide, ranging from sunlight to illusions, enhanced vision, proxies he could see through, and even pseudo-teleportation by turning himself into light, if his instructor was to be believed. But Varis had never uttered a word about his plans for it, or any future plans for that matter - aside from one, but that wasn’t magic-related and not generally a topic for polite conversation.
“There are a lot of ways my affinity could go, assuming I can hang onto it.” “Fuck, you don’t think I’m gonna get put on special effects, do you?” Max wondered aloud. Did Eris do his own stunts? Was Eris even in movies that had stunts or was the most intense action scene in his typical casting a thrilling fight with the female lead’s mother?
“And what’s ‘hang onto it’ supposed to mean? Do affinities change or something?” That was news to him, honestly. He hoped not, because he didn’t see the point in practicing so much if he was going to end up something else in a few years. That wouldn’t even make sense.
“Not usually, but in my infinite wisdom I chose the only Arcane major that comes with a risk of affinity loss,” Aaron retorted a little sharply, though it was aimed more at himself than at Max. He’d made up his mind, yes, but he still wasn’t at all fond of the risks involved.
Max just blinked at him incredulously. That was a thing? He couldn’t really blame Aaron, given how fucking useless a light affinity must be to some guy that thinks vampires can do no wrong, but that still sounded like a dumb move. What major even was that, anyway?
“Why?” Was all he uttered, dumbfounded.
Aaron had to laugh again, if only at the irony.
“To protect myself from exactly this sort of thing,” he replied, waving lazily at the clearing around them.
“Plus, Lady Sinnenodel collects mental mages like dolls, and I’m not interested in anyone crawling around in my head.”Ugh, he wanted to be one of
those people. Honestly, affinity loss served those nosy fucks right, and now that Max knew mental magic was a cope for people with shitty affinities anyway, he liked them even less.
“May I offer you a kneecap removing implement in these trying times?” Max asked as one of his vambraces unlocked and floated over to Aaron,
“I think they’d be just as good at getting people out of your head without fucking your magic beyond repair.”“As tempting as that offer is, my Lady might not take kindly to it,” Aaron half-joked, sounding tired. He poked the vambrace where it hovered, watching absently when it floated away, like a leaf on water.
“You’d think the sword would ward people off, but apparently not.” He added, dumbstruck, hand once more falling where his pommel
should have been and coming up empty.
“She can lose her kneecaps too, I don’t discriminate. That’s sexist, Aaron.” Max let the vambrace lethargically drift for a few moments before dragging it back to reassemble itself around his arm.
“And it’s the attitude. It’s not enough to look like you can beat somebody up, you gotta look that way in spirit too. Beat people down with sheer force of personality before you even start beating them physically.” He was explaining this horribly, but it wasn’t like he was trying to give actual advice either. Still, he couldn’t say he took Aaron particularly seriously even if the other mage had dropped him before. He just acted so… harmless.
“Yeah, that’s just what I need,” Aaron chided,
“to be frightening people away when I’m supposed to be making connections.” He could hear it now:
‘Boy, you’ve somehow downgraded from the charisma of a rock to that of a porcupine. Honestly, I’d expect more if I didn’t already know you were hopelessly spoiled in your home life. How the rest of your family manages to stumble through life without giving rise to national scandals is a mystery.’ Not that he’d ever say that out loud, even if Varis wasn’t around. That was tactless.
“Oh, did Cinnamon put you on friendship duty? Otherwise, I think you’re just wasting your time. No, I think you’re wasting your time either way, but at least with the former you can pretend you’re privy to whatever stupid politicking he’s doing.” Max’s gaze flickered briefly back to the skull. They were due back soon and as funny as it’d be to watch their reactions to the mages shittalking them, he’d probably catch more flak from that than he’d gain in amusement.
Who knew what Varis wanted from him anymore? His expectations should have been simple, but be it out of stress or sheer stupidity, Aaron never seemed to be able to get much more than the basics right. But he wouldn’t launch into that now - or ever, probably - and instead followed Max’s gaze to the skull, eyes lingering on it. The message was clear enough, and Max was right. Best to end that conversation before anyone came back.
“Maybe,” he muttered absently, letting silence fall back over the dead clearing as they waited for the vampires to reappear.
