Ryuu Yamauchi
ASDFASDFASDFASDFASDFASDFASDFASDF
Ryuu did a backflip and landed on his kidney. "How is that possible," you might ask, but for Ryuu, it was easy. No, this was not just any Ryuu.
It was Super Ryuu.
"I'm so super," Super Ryuu said, his glasses shattered into gazillions of shards. "I'm superer than Spuderman."
"Orly now?" Spuderman said, coming in with a web swing. "Orly?"
"Yarly."
"Die."
"Ya."
And they fought. Spuderman died.
"Romeo, Romeo, where art thou?" Super Ryuu said in his masculine, beautiful voice.
Romeo was too awed to handle the situation. He shoved himself into a NASA rocket and went to paradise.
"But I'm Super Ryuu."
So Super Ryuu flew into space, caught the rocket, and sent it back into Hell.
"Wtf bro," Romeo said.
"Stfu bro," Ryuu sternly interrupted the Montague. "Thou shall not-"
"I'm feeling very high up in the air."
"But you're on the ground."
"Exactly."
And then Ryuu knew exactly what he was talking about.
-The End-
MREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEOOOOOO
It's not over.
Super Ryuu took out a boat made of Carbon Dioxide and began to swim in four-dimensional hyper-space. On the way, he saw Uncle Ben sitting next to Spuderman.
"Why are you here with your uncle, Spuder?" Super Ryuu asked playfully.
"You killed me."
"Stfu"
Super Ryuu kindly dismissed them and went to the other side of hyper-space. With that said, he noticed that something was... OFF! It was as if...
"MY FACE IS G-"
His face was gone.
Super Ryuu wondered what he should do! He just lost his face! What was he gonna do now?!
That was simple! He just tore it back on!
"I forgot that tearing things back on solves everything!" Super Ryuu thought as loud as a horse.
With his problem solved, Super Ryuu flew through the portal at the other end. He found himself standing in a battle during the Fifth Holy Grail War!
"Oh hai Archer," Ryuu said.
"...Huh? Wait, where'd you come from?"
"China."
"...And how are you even-"
"Archer!" Saber yelled, her eyebrows furrowed darkly. "What are you doing here?! And where is your master?"
"...What are you talking about?" Archer asked her. "She's right next to m-"
But alas, Ryuu was carrying Rin Tohsaka by his hand. One hand, that is. For he was Super Ryuu, the superest Super of all the supers he could meet.
"Wah! Archer, get me off of this... thing?! I dunno what this is!!" Rin screamed in both terror and anger.
"Don't you worry, Miss," Super Ryuu said, his teeth shining more brilliantly than Pluto. "I'm constipated."
"...Thanks."
With that said, Ryuu did a reverse-fart, sucking air in before gaining massive strength. He then put Tohsaka on a Rider, who was tied up and lying down on the ground.
"...What're you doing here, Rider?" Tohsaka asked, her face completely pale in terror.
Rider simply shook her head as she grumbled, "How am I supposed to know? This guy literally stole my bike and started acting like Little Mac."
Super Ryuu farted, shooting out Lancer. It seemed that he accidentally pooped Lancer in the hyper-space.
When suddenly...!
"MWA HA HA HA HAH AH HAHAH AH HA HAH AH !!!!!11!!1ONEE!!!ONE!" A dark voice proclaimed, falling from the skies... literally. Super Ryuu immediately recognized the voice.
"GANON-F-CKING-DORF!!!!!! WHAT'RE YOU DOING HERE, YOU REDHEADED... UH... UH... SPUDERMAN?!"
Ganondorf paled before getting angry. "You just made me real mad, dood. Time to kick some Hylian -ss with my Mario Energy Power Tennis!"
Tohsaka asked Rider, "Do you have a shotgun on you?"
"If I did, I would've been long gone by now."
Super Ryuu opened his pants zipper and took out a massive lightsaber, screaming at Ganondorf, "I'm a five-year champion with the title belt, fatso!"
"Fat?! Take a look at your MOM and say that!" Ganondorf yelled, creating an Energy Ball made of Gatorade and Powerade. "Taste the rainbow!"
He then smacked the ball with his hips, sending it at a speed of two miles per hour. Super Ryuu, who was fifty meters away from Ganondorf, was instantly smacked by the Gawerade Ball.
And then a wild Link appeared to smite Ganon.
"JHSDKGFNUIASDGHOASUDHFOWJE NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!" Ganondorf screamed. "Why the h-ll did YOU appear?!"
"HaaaAAAGGHHHHH!" Link screamed in his language.
"Link..." Super Ryuu said, tears dropping out of his biceps. "You would really... do that for me? I can't believe you would TAKE MY SPOTLIGHT AJFNIJAGHUIASDOAWE"
Super Ryuu yanked the Master Sword off of Link's hands, giving him a Biggoron's Sword instead. "I'm better with WEAKER weapons!" Super Ryuu scolded Link angrily. Link nodded in awe, wondering why this guy was such a dumb-ss.
Ganon looked at Super Ryuu and then Link. "Weaker." He said, using air quotes.
Ryuu shouted, "Okay, that's it! Ganondorf, you're goin' DOWN to TOWN!"
"What?! Why?!"
"You still haven't bought the Miku leeks you promised to buy me..."
"Oh, that?" Ganondorf laughed heartily, before his expression turned into the evillest smile in the universe. "I ATE IT."
"NNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! WHY WOULD YOU EAT MY FATHER THREE TIMES?!"
"BECAUSE I FELT LIKE IT! NOW LET'S HAVE A TENNIS MATCH! A MARIO-F-CKIN'-POWER ONE!!!"
Ganondorf threw another Nutritional Ball of Energy at Super Ryuu, who finally managed to deflect it with the Super Sword. Surprised by the Super Master Super Sword's power, Ganondorf was forced to hit again.
"W-What is this pressure I'm feeling?!" The King of Smeegul whispered, his eyes widening at Super Ryuu's sudden burst of power.
"It's because... I HAVE FRIENDS!!!"
"WHAT?! NO! FRIENDS?! THAT'S MY GREATEST FREAKIN' WEAKNESS! Why would you have friends in the first place?"
Archer wondered if he was allowed to shoot them. Even Gilgamesh, who arrived just then due to the ruckus, looked as if he wanted to go drown himself in a sea of calico kitties.
Actually, that was something Archer always wanted to experience.
Super Ryuu deflected the final ball, hitting Ganondorf with a bunch of balls.
"Hn... HNN..... NNOOOOOOOO-"
Ganondorf was interrupted because Super Ryuu hated him so much. His body imploded into a portal filled with Companion Cubes, cakes, and radios. And it had a super hot babe in it!
Just kidding. There were no babes, but there were nuclear bombs with cute girls flying around. One of them looked like Adenine.
"...Huh? NUU! NUNUNUNUNUNUNUN!!" Super Ryuu screamed as if he were saying "ABC."
With that said, Super Ryuu jumped into the portal, allowing the Fate/Stay Night cast to go have a drink, chill out, and rethink their lives.
-The End-
...
...
BUT IT'S NOT OVER YET.
Super Ryuu landed on his liver, his body lying still on an SAT textbook. He was allergic to SAT textbooks. Scared by its presence, Super Ryuu fired a laser from his mouth, incinerating the book.
The SAT book laughed evilly, telling Super Ryuu,
"Super Ryuu of the Superest Supers... I have a super message for y-"
"F-ck you."
Super Ryuu farted on the book, turning it into Adenine.
"Hi, Super Ryuu! Here's a map for you!"
"That rhymed!"
"Kyaaaa! So gorgeous!~"
Super Ryuu felt a melancholic expression fall over his face... before it hardened. Harder than Freddie Mercury when he was ticked off about the Killer Queen. For behind Adenine was Dark Link! But this time, Mario and Megaman were duking it out, and behind Mario and Megaman was this random American dude and Sakurai! And behind Sakurai was an audience, and the words "SMASH BROS" shining out of some large screen that no one would ever bother looking at!
What could this mean...?
Super Ryuu thought hard... before coming up with the ultimate solution.
"Half-Life 3 confirmed."
Mario's eyes turned into pokeballs, his face scrunched up in anger. The Italian superplumber slowly turned to Super Ryuu, his eyes on threatening to unleash Charmanders from Fifty Shades of Gray.
"What... did... you... just... SAY-A?!?"
Super Ryuu's eyes hardened, his tears flowing into his brain due to the emotions he was feeling, as he shouted at Mario,
"TEAM FORTRESS 3 CONFIRMED."
Mario straightened his limbs, including his head and mustache, before he turned into a Logitech Keyboard Arwing. But before he was able to do anything, Sakurai suddenly turned off the ga-
-The End-
...BUT IT'S NOT OVE-
-The End-
Ryuu literally fell off of his bed when he woke up, landing on his head in the process. In utter pain, the otaku shriveled into a small ball as he sheltered his eyes and head, cradling himself like a whiny child.
"OW, OW, SH-T, SH-T... Urgh."
The otaku needed to have a more creative imagination. He remained lying on the dormitory's floor for a while.
Jeanne R. CortezMeanwhile, Cortez had struggled to get up and brush her teeth. Right at the moment, she was still wearing her captain clothing, and brushed her teeth faithfully in the restroom. Her eyes had noticeable dark circles, for she had nightmares about meeting a certain nurse over and over again.
Nathaniel G. TerotraxTerotrax had turned on his boombox, brushing his teeth to the beat of his light hip-hop music. Nothing interesting was happening in his dormitory... for now.