Brovo said
I hope you don't take this the wrong way, but I hope you never have to. It's usually very unpleasant, very strange, very confusing... Yet at the same time... There's a sort of terrifying peace to it. There's just... A certain tiny fraction of you that doesn't really make it. Some naive, happy go lucky bit that just... Remains dead. Every time you try to summon it you merely summon the event that killed it, and that eery... Quiet feeling of... Nothingness. I can't even describe it, it's just... Empty space. No, not even empty, just... Blank. Expressionless. Less than monotone. It's still chilling to think about.If this is even a fraction of what soldiers have to go through, I can understand why PTSD is so damned hard to deal with now.
You hope I never have to experience dying in such a way!? O_O
FLHFNKJLFHFKJLAHFSLHK! How dare you hope I never die like that! :P
Honestly I'd have to be a total nut case to take that the wrong way.
Like I said, I've never have to experience being close to death before. But I've had experiences that gives me a basic understanding of what it's like to have a piece of you die in the moment, and trying to bring it back does like you say bring the moment back instead. For me I think it was largely the ability to simply trust most people and ability to simply be complacent/happy in emotion/feelings/love, now my logical side just fires up each time and goes "Nope, you will think rationally. No ignoring me and just relaxing you fool!".
This is probably not the same thing you're referring you, which is why I leave it as a basic understanding (Plus I think I worded that above part a bit poorly :/).
I think more in what I consider to be what me somewhat understanding those it took that emptiness, and replaced it with a sort of alternate behavior/defense mechanism in place of it. Then again, this is more cases such as loss of a loved one, relationship going real sour etc. Nothing like going through dying yourself, I can't honestly say if there really is a kind of alternate behavior/defense mechanism that would of triggered in such a case or not.
I simply somewhat relate to what it's like to have an experience that takes away a piece of you, may it simply leave it empty or find something else to replace it with.