Hidden 10 yrs ago Post by NanixErka
Raw
OP

NanixErka

Member Seen 3 yrs ago

My father is selling my childhood home this year, and its really hitting me hard. I grew up in this place. I celebrated holidays and birthdays here. I went through so much in this house. I don't know how i'm going to handle it. Has anybody else been in this situation? I could really use some advice or comforting words.
Hidden 10 yrs ago Post by mdk
Raw

mdk 3/4

Member Seen 6 yrs ago

My parents are doing the same, sort of -- only the IRS is instigating the process, because they held onto the house (for those same sort of memories) way, way, WAAAAY longer than they could afford. Good news is, your memories don't live in that house anymore either, and they can't be lost or sold. You'll make much better memories in the future if you're making smart money decisions (like selling a house that's bigger than you need). And the future is a much better thing to worry about than the past.
Hidden 10 yrs ago Post by Dinh AaronMk
Raw
Avatar of Dinh AaronMk

Dinh AaronMk my beloved (french coded)

Member Seen 6 days ago

Burn the house down before anyone foreign can trample all over your abstract and totally stationary memories. Then collect insurance and sell the land to a developer.
Hidden 10 yrs ago Post by Lillian Thorne
Raw
Avatar of Lillian Thorne

Lillian Thorne NO LONGER A MOD, PM the others if you need help

Member Seen 4 yrs ago

I went through this a few years back. I was expecting it to be harder than it was. How much time do you spend in it? Or have you lived on your own for a while? I had lived on my own for a while so the house wasn't my home when it was sold and that made it easier. As mdk said, your memories don't live there any more. If you want or can, take pictures of parts of it that you want to hold onto. I know it was easier for me because when I went to visit the house just before it was sold the tree I used to climb in daily had been chopped down (years earlier and no one had told me) and the row of lilacs I used to read under was also gone. It was enough to help sever things for me. That house wasn't the house I remembered, not really. I hope things go well for you in this regard. But things are just things, keep that in mind.
Hidden 10 yrs ago Post by HeySeuss
Raw
Avatar of HeySeuss

HeySeuss DJ Hot Carl

Member Seen 2 mos ago

My childhood got sold when I was still in my childhood and my dad pulled up sticks and moved us out to Germany, then back to New Hampshire, then down to Texas, then up to Maryland. I spent the rest of my childhood bouncing around, so I suppose I can't really relate to living in a place for all that long. On the other hand, I know about dealing with that. The memories go with you, trust me.
Hidden 10 yrs ago 10 yrs ago Post by Mahz
Raw
Avatar of Mahz

Mahz ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Admin Seen 2 mos ago

My parents have been fixing up a house on the countryside that they will be moving in to soon. The last time I visited them in the house I grew up in, I knew it'd be one of the last times I'd be there and I felt a pit in my stomach. Somehow it was comforting to walk through my house with my camera recording a video. Just a snapshot of that point in time before it all changes. Now if I ever need some cathartic nostalgia, I can just watch that video and sob. Both of my cats have died since then (last year) so I've already watched the video and sobbed since they're both in it. :')
Hidden 10 yrs ago Post by NanixErka
Raw
OP

NanixErka

Member Seen 3 yrs ago

> My parents are doing the same, sort of -- only the IRS is instigating the process, because they held onto the house (for those same sort of memories) way, way, WAAAAY longer than they could afford. Good news is, your memories don't live in that house anymore either, and they can't be lost or sold. You'll make much better memories in the future if you're making smart money decisions (like selling a house that's bigger than you need). And the future is a much better thing to worry about than the past. Worrying about the future tends to put me in an existential crisis, but i'll take in mind the part about the memories. > Burn the house down before anyone foreign can trample all over your abstract and totally stationary memories. > > Then collect insurance and sell the land to a developer. I can't tell if this is joking or not. Either way it feels kind of mean > I went through this a few years back. I was expecting it to be harder than it was. How much time do you spend in it? Or have you lived on your own for a while? I had lived on my own for a while so the house wasn't my home when it was sold and that made it easier. As mdk said, your memories don't live there any more. If you want or can, take pictures of parts of it that you want to hold onto. I know it was easier for me because when I went to visit the house just before it was sold the tree I used to climb in daily had been chopped down (years earlier and no one had told me) and the row of lilacs I used to read under was also gone. It was enough to help sever things for me. That house wasn't the house I remembered, not really. > > I hope things go well for you in this regard. But things are just things, keep that in mind. I've been in this house since i was 6 months old. and I'm 20 and jobless, so I still live at home. Thank you for the advice. > My childhood got sold when I was still in my childhood and my dad pulled up sticks and moved us out to Germany, then back to New Hampshire, then down to Texas, then up to Maryland. I spent the rest of my childhood bouncing around, so I suppose I can't really relate to living in a place for all that long. On the other hand, I know about dealing with that. > > The memories go with you, trust me. Thank you > My parents have been fixing up a house on the countryside that they will be moving in to soon. > > The last time I visited them in the house I grew up in, I knew it'd be one of the last times I'd be there and I felt a pit in my stomach. Somehow it was comforting to walk through my house with my camera recording a video. Just a snapshot of that point in time before it all changes. > > Now if I ever need some cathartic nostalgia, I can just watch that video and sob. Both of my cats have died since then (last year) so I've already watched the video and sobbed since they're both in it. :') Thank you for sharing, and for the idea of filming.
Hidden 10 yrs ago Post by Prophecy
Raw
Avatar of Prophecy

Prophecy

Member Seen 5 yrs ago

Best thing to do is remember that those memories don't exist in the house, they exist in the people you shared them with. When my Grandma died and her house was sold it was really hard having to watch it messed about with. They tore down the old conservatory, bricked up a window (and I dread to think what changes have gone on inside) Because I live so close to it I found myself staring at it every time I went by - I still do sometimes. I never took any pictures of it, but in a way I'm glad I didn't. Sometimes it's nice to see the house in your mind as you saw it in in real life. I was still young when my Grandma died, so I remember the stairs being so steep and narrow, and the bed I slept in being massive. If I was looking at these things in a picture they probably wouldn't be the same. My advice would be to go round the house one last time (if that's an option) and take it all in. Go to each room, go through all the good memories and even the not so good ones that happened in that room. And when you leave the house, take one long last look at it before you go. But one you go don't turn around to look at it again. That house will be a memory to you now. It doesn't matter if it's knocked down or changed beyond recognition, because it exists to you as a memory. It's a great memory, but you don't have to dwell on it every second of the day.
Hidden 10 yrs ago Post by NanixErka
Raw
OP

NanixErka

Member Seen 3 yrs ago

@prophecy thank you very much for your advice. This is just going to be hard for me.
↑ Top
© 2007-2024
BBCode Cheatsheet