Crush my dreams!

[Raxacoricofallapatorius]

Your wishes are fishes on dishes, you are now Doctor Seuss. You're dead.

I wish I had a talent that would make me famous.

[BrobyDDark]

Your talent is shitting yourself. Your fame is people mocking you. You get no money from it.

I wish I knew all of the language's except for Pig's Latin.

[mdk]

Wewe ni mjinga katika kila lugha sasa.

I wish I were an oscar-meyer weiner.

[Raxacoricofallapatorius]

Everybody is in love with you, then they cook and eat you.

I wish I had a portable CD player so I could listen to audiobooks in places other than my car or near my laptop.

[Joegreenbeen]

You will listen to it too much that you'll get sick of reality and have a miserable rest of your life.

I wish that I could meet Imagine Dragons and go to all of their concerts.

[BrobyDDark]

You do, but then you realize that they're a shitty band with only one good song and suddenly you hate yourself for wishing to meet them.

I wish the energizer bunny would STOP FUCKING GOING AND GOING AND GOING.

[Joegreenbeen]

All of your battery powered things, like your liver, would stop working. You would die without the internet.

I wish Broby would realize that Imagine Dragons have many great songs. And to know which song Broby thinks is their one good one. And to meet Lorde, and Of Monsters and Men, and American Authors...

[BrobyDDark]

You can only have one wish at a time, so, for trying to get two, you lose the right to both. Get the fuck outta here.

I wish I could see the way I die. And I mean natural death, not wish bullshit.

[GodOfWar]

You see your slow and natural death, then start to question the right of nature to take your life. You hide yourself in a bunker, changing your overall destiny, and die quickly of unnatural and unknown causes.

I wish for forum peace

[BrobyDDark]

Fuck you. Wish not granted.

I wish for world peace.

[Keyguyperson]

Everyone is completely peaceful in all ways, and nobody ever speaks ill of someone else's decision. Some asshole who thinks nukes heal people suggests setting all of them off, and everyone agrees because they don't want to break the absolute people. There isn't life anymore.

I wish that I had infinite time to write.

[Raxacoricofallapatorius]

You become immortal and are forced to watch all your friends and loved ones age and die so that all you have to write for the rest of infinity are angsty poems the emo kids will steal and post on Tumblr as their own.

You will listen to it too much that you'll get sick of reality and have a miserable rest of your life.

@Joegreenbeen

You say that as if it hasn't already happened.

I wish my nail polish never chipped.

[Loud Angry Dead]

The government takes away your fishes for examination.

I wish that Taxes were reasonable and used properly.

[Ubermensch]

Granted, but your nation eventually becomes choked up with bureaucreatic problems.

I want to live forever with eternal youth and health.

[Vordak]

Granted, but your nation eventually becomes choked up with bureaucreatic problems.

I want to live forever with eternal youth and health.

@Ubermensch

You live eternally as a forever young and healthy Llama.

I want to achieve ultimate power and forge myself an indomitable will!

[Penultimate_Pi]

@Ubermensch
see:

You become immortal and are forced to watch all your friends and loved ones age and die so that all you have to write for the rest of infinity are angsty poems the emo kids will steal and post on Tumblr as their own.

@Raxacoricofallapatorius

Also, you would live long enough to witness the death of the sun, causing Earth to be incinerated (youth and health won't save your from that). If you can somehow manage to escape to space, then you are now immortal but mostly alone in the quiet sky, traumatized from losing most everything you knew and loved so that you go very mentally insane drifting through the endless void.

I wish I could find all of the games and toys I mysteriously lost.

[Ubermensch]

@Vordak: Granted, but a lobotomy erases all that after MIB mandate

@Penultimate_Pi: Granted, but they are broken and deteriorated.

New wish: I want to rule the world via mind control.

[Loud Angry Dead]

Granted. Now the whole world is under your command. Unfortunately, due to the fact that your brain is not powerful enough to issue commands to 7 billion people in various stages of life, culture, and languages, you die of a brain hemorrhage.

New Wish: I want to end the world in a blaze of everlasting glory within the next moments after this wish.

[Raxacoricofallapatorius]

You're dead and so is everyone else. Congrats. This is why we can't have nice things.

I wish I would stop staying up late when I have to get up early in the morning.

[Flynn]

Congrats! Wish granted. Buuuut you don't wake up anymore... Ever. Sleep coma!

I wish my shoulders wouldn't hurt so much from wearing my medieval costume.