Relatively Grieving (2 A.M. Poems)
It’s been a year
and where do I begin?
I was just telling my friend
two days before
about how we thought it wasn’t gonna end.
Then Saturday came, April 25th,
wouldn’t have been the worst day that’s ever been.
I woke myself up, I was laying in bed,
the pillow had slipped from underneath my head.
It was one of the only days I woke up not wishing I was dead.
But that all came to an end.
They told me you stopped breathing.
They told me you were gone.
I wasn’t prepared at all,
I didn’t even know anything was wrong.
Nobody told me a thing.
I was clueless.
Should I have thought better? Should I have known?
After all cancer,
it doesn’t answer
to anyone.
It didn’t answer to me even when I’d plea and I’d beg,
I’d beg for you stay, I’d beg for you to live, to come back.
But you never came home.
So a year goes by quick and painful,
too quick because now they say I can’t still mourn.
Even though this hurt, it still hurts like it hurt yesterday,
the day before, the month before,
all the way back to that God forsaken day.
My grades have suffered. I wanna quit.
But it’s been a year, right? I should be over it.
Forget never wanting to die,
I don’t wanna live,
not without you here to send me the comfort when things get tough.
Words ain’t enough.
Your hugs were the only thing that got me through,
and only you
knew exactly what to say to make me wanna live.
A year’s gone by and I think of you
almost every single day.
And though I can’t see you, can’t hear you in body,
I still can’t help feeling,
you never went away.
It’s been a year
and where do I begin?
I was just telling my friend
two days before
about how we thought it wasn’t gonna end.
Then Saturday came, April 25th,
wouldn’t have been the worst day that’s ever been.
I woke myself up, I was laying in bed,
the pillow had slipped from underneath my head.
It was one of the only days I woke up not wishing I was dead.
But that all came to an end.
They told me you stopped breathing.
They told me you were gone.
I wasn’t prepared at all,
I didn’t even know anything was wrong.
Nobody told me a thing.
I was clueless.
Should I have thought better? Should I have known?
After all cancer,
it doesn’t answer
to anyone.
It didn’t answer to me even when I’d plea and I’d beg,
I’d beg for you stay, I’d beg for you to live, to come back.
But you never came home.
So a year goes by quick and painful,
too quick because now they say I can’t still mourn.
Even though this hurt, it still hurts like it hurt yesterday,
the day before, the month before,
all the way back to that God forsaken day.
My grades have suffered. I wanna quit.
But it’s been a year, right? I should be over it.
Forget never wanting to die,
I don’t wanna live,
not without you here to send me the comfort when things get tough.
Words ain’t enough.
Your hugs were the only thing that got me through,
and only you
knew exactly what to say to make me wanna live.
A year’s gone by and I think of you
almost every single day.
And though I can’t see you, can’t hear you in body,
I still can’t help feeling,
you never went away.