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Some random internet fuck with a keyboard and too much free time.






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@Raineh Daze

Wood isn't all that weak.
@Raineh Daze

What about pikes?
Aleksandra charged through the sewers after her target - the young man who had decided it was a good idea to try to escape the two of them combined. She called out mockingly to him in English, hoping he would understand a little of it, “Come here little boy! I promise I won’t break too many bones if you don’t make me chase you through all of Prague’s sewers!” Sewage splashed up onto her legs as she stormed through it, coating them in a stench she’d rather not deal with.

She grumbled internally to herself. She could catch him if she wanted, but the little Bohemian princess had wanted to catch him herself and hopefully scare him enough to talk. As it was, she was a bit too close for that at the moment, only a couple of feet behind him - she could tell by the sound of his breathing that he knew he wouldn’t be able to evade her at this rate. She let off some speed, letting the little bastard think she was tiring. Now, if the little princess wou-

Something in the muck snagged at her boot, sending her sprawling in the filth of the sewers. She kicked violently at it, realizing after the offending object went sailing into the wall of the sewer that it was an abnormally large rat corpse. Disturbingly large. Nightmarishly large, in fact. She dragged herself up, chest, face, arms, hands, legs, all of it was completely covered in a reeking mixture of feces, urine, rotten food, and other… even less pleasant things. She would’ve retched at the truly horrific smell, but rage held her stomach under control - right up until she felt some of the putrescent mixture seeping through her clothes to… places.

She heaved reflexively, splattering the wall next to her with her breakfast and lunch. The little shit was getting away, but her stomach wasn’t letting her move for the precious few seconds it took to empty.

Wiping her mouth out of habit, her eyes widened as she realized what she’d just done - barely managing to repress another surge of vomit, she spat, clawing her gun out of its holster as she forced herself to move through the sludge in a fury induced charge.

She rounded the corner, haphazardly waving the pistol and her sword as she howled insults in his general direction, having forgotten to use English. “Ёб твою мать, собака!” She caught a glimpse of him, bringing her gun to bear and firing off a shot that grazed his shoulder and little else before he turned another corner with her hot on his heels.

As she pursued him around the final corner she saw up ahead the blockage in the wall, grinning savagely. Now she’d have him all to herself. “Иди сюда! Щас по ебалу получишь, сука блять!” She sped up, only noticing Lucie through the red haze when she was a couple meters away.

She looked her dead in the eye, growling, “Дайте мне его.” She dug through her pockets, pulling out a small vial, holding it maliciously as she advanced on him.

(Translations:
“Ёб твою мать, собака!” = “Fuck your mother, you dog!”
“Иди сюда! Щас по ебалу получишь, сука блять!” = "Come here! Now I’ll fucking kill you, bitch motherfucker!"
“Дайте мне его.” = “Give it to me.”)
@AtomicNut

Blade Runneeeeeeeeeeeer
Tarrya rode sullenly alongside Garrett. She had never been comfortable in the saddle - despite being taught the basics of riding growing up she had never taken a liking to horses, or saddle sores for that matter. Even as a lieutenant of the company, when nobody would’ve looked twice had she taken a captured warhorse or two for her own use, she had preferred to fight and command on foot, sacrificing the mobility and height advantage for the security provided by her own two legs. Not that she would be commanding anyone anytime soon - this order had ridiculous notions about eligibility or command, just as bad to choose a young girl for her time of birth as to choose a young man for his family connections. As it was, the horse she currently rode was a far cry from the impressive steeds she had sold after the occasional capture of a knight, she was hardly a massive weight, even with her armor, but the beast seemed to lag behind the other horses all the same, struggling with her weight. He didn’t have much longer, she reckoned.

Branches seemed to mock her as they poked her in the face, just how they would do so she was unsure - but she had never been fond of thick forests. Too many friends had met their end in an ambush from thick woods before. Of course, the commanders of this little detachment would probably not even factor that in - and so far she hadn’t seen the faintest hint of a scouting party sent out to reconnoiter the area. It was almost as if there was an untrained sixteen year old in command, or something preposterous like that.

She kicked the spurs of her horse, urging the animal on again to catch up with Garrett. He seemed to be joining a few of the other knights in a small little circle, probably discussing tactics. She smirked to herself, overhearing a small fragment of conversation - at least the girl seemed to realize charging in bellowing was a poor course of action. Maybe with some experience she would turn out competent after all; only time would tell however, and no amount of heavy armor would save them from any poor decisions she made now.

And still no sign of any attempt at recon- she perked up, one of the knights had actually suggested sending out scouts! Incredible! Perhaps more than a handful nobles knew basic tactics? Most of them didn’t, in her experience, but this woman made her hopeful. She knew the woman would likely not notice her - after all, she was simply a commoner to them, beneath their notice. Unlanded nobility were not exactly the most prestigious members of society, and she had been adventuring with a mercenary company for the better part of a decade. In all likelihood, this woman would likely consider her simple common dirt to be ignored. Nonetheless her scowl softened, almost approaching a faint smile, and she nodded towards the woman, clearly wanting to offer her own input but remaining silent.
And CS posted. Time to start writing intro.

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaand a CS!


@VitaVitaAR

We're off to kill some bandits, some dastardly bandits of Thaln!
Don't worry, y'all will get plenty of cynicism to counterbalance the cute regardless :P

As a side note, almost done with CS!
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