DruSM157

Drew's testy place.

Location: Belsia Sea, AW 15

The boy felt the wind whip through his shaggy brown hair and tasted salt on his tongue. The wooden canoe he sat in bounced against the waves; well, it was the best description as Old Man Fionello and his sons had shown it around the town that day. Installed above the “canoe” were pieces of wood and wire and cloth; creating a sort of canopy overhead. They’d called it a “flying machine” to which the boy and the others scoffed at it. Man was born of the earth and belonged there. But when Brio and Marco took the machine into the air off the Belsia Sea, they’d made believers out of everyone there.

The sight of the ship breaking from the waves, and then taking into the sky had been dramatic. It had truly been magical for him. He had to try it out. And so, after arguing and fighting with the Fionello family, he found himself sitting in this canoe behind Brio, the younger Fionello brother.

“Are you ready, Ludo?”

He shook his head yes.

The metal machine above them (an engine powered by those crystal pieces of Silvenite that many of the men of the village had left to mine) roared to life. Air and smoke spat out as it shook the entire vehicle with its motions, and the large wooden propeller in front began to spin faster and faster. They lurched forward, and Ludo felt his stomach sink back from the sudden speed.

And then they broke from the waves. Ludo’s heart soared as he looked out to see the sea part from the wooden canoe. It was truly magic. And Ludo knew where his destiny lie.

---

Location: Isla de Serpente, Southern Belsia Sea, AW 32

The man smoked the last of his hand-rolled cigarettes, puffing a fine mist of smoke from his mouth. Money had been tight this month, and he knew that with the talk of war in the northern nations, money would soon be even tighter.

“Ey, Ludocinni,” one of the older men in the bar called to the man in a mocking tone. “How the hell are you gonna pay me back for all that Silverino if you can’t find work this month?” In the past five years, many of the mines of the coastal areas had shut down, forcing the region to import their Silventite from the northern nations. And after Holsta’s armies had attacked their neighbor Monstu; things were looking worrisome for international trade.

“I’ll find work,” Ludo responded, though his left hand shook slightly. It had shaken since he was nineteen and received a bullet through his hand while he flew a mission over Karst. He’d nearly been shot down but had somehow crawled along at a low altitude towards friendly territory. Back then he’d been a soldier. He’d believed in his country and what they fought for. Being young afforded stupidity. And while his left hand had been badly scarred and half-functioning, he’d still walked away with his life. The same could not be said for many of his old comrades.

So Ludo had taken to the seas, flying down into the Belsian Sea, where the free city-states resided among the hundreds of small islands in the gorgeous sea. He’d been born in a coastal town on the same sea, and he supposed the Belisan Sea was as much his nation as old Riccondo was.

No, this was his home now. The Serpent Islands snaked around the central area of the sea and had become a major trading hub and tourist attraction in the area; as well as a hub of crime and piracy. That’s where pilots like Ludo were brought in: mercenaries who could offer protection, rescue, or even entertainment when the need arose. But with pressure from the northern nations; and the threat of annexation by Riccondo, people had been more afraid to hire daring mercenaries. Even the local pirates were beginning to suffer.

Ludo simply looked out the dirty mirror of the cafe, staring out at the glistening sea. It didn’t matter what the politics were, nor did it matter what jobs came. For him, the sea and sky meant freedom; freedom from the problems of land and the problems of men.

And that’s where he belonged.

Pariah Online: A Voyage into the Intangible Aether

Location: The Laughing Warg Tavern-- The City of Thorinn, Aetheria

---

For every word that the denizens spoke, Benkei held on intently. He’d spent countless hours around denizens, and none of them ever spoke the way Dariel did. The fact that he actually interjected what Sif had brought up, and gave his own opinion on things…

There was no way this was scripted. It was too focused, too particular, too familiar. Too human. Kazama had played countless games during his youth. He knew the separation between game and reality, and it fell many times with the NPC and world of the game. Hard as many developers tried, there were always the limitations that brought a player back to reality. He never thought exactly why he enjoyed the game so much, but he began to realize that it was not simply the polish of Pariah, but how perfectly crafted the world always seemed.

“I don’t think I’ve ever tried flatcakes,” Benkei said agreeably to Dariel. “I’ll have some, thank you.” He then stood up, and gently took Sif’s arm and shoulder into his hands. “Let’s talk.” he said quickly, leading her back to her table, where he sat uncomfortably close to the girl.

“There’s something wrong here.” He whispered to her, a mix of panic and excitement in his voice. ”The way these denizens are acting...it wouldn’t be aberrant game scripting. They’re thinking.”

Sif began to protest; after all the tagline of Pariah was “make your dreams a reality.” It was a system that, as they advertised, connected players to a connected “dream” where they all played. Benkei always believed it was a complete bullshit lie. Dreams? What was this, some fantasy world?

“I don’t know anything about the tech to understand the whole ‘connecting dreamers together’ aspect of it. But if you make it a game there has to be some aspect of control. Suddenly the denizens are unshackled, they can hurt us.” He gave a quick glance at Arie, then back to Sif. “It’s more…real than a dream.” What controlled the denizens? Could it be an advanced AI? The tech that went into Pariah was pretty incredible, but to give that much autonomy to a single NPC...no, that made no sense at all. An AI system that powerful would require an entire city block's worth of power. Perhaps even an entire city.

Were they something like the company’s in-game GMs, forcibly roleplaying? No, that made no sense either. This was an emergency. Even if their job was to act, situations like this would cause that facade to drop.

”I think…” Benkei’s eyes became wide with a sudden realization. A sense of horror overwhelmed his mind. ”I’m scared to say. But you see it too, don’t you?” He thought back to the English textbook they’d read during his middle school class. It was by some weirdly named British author, about some detective or doctor or something. But there was a line he distinctly remembered, and it was something that he could not get out of his head. When you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth.

Pariah wasn’t a game. But then, the horror that plagued Benkei’s mind opened up into a new question of terror: What the hell was this?

Pariah Online: A Voyage into the Intangible Aether

Location: The Laughing Warg Tavern-- The City of Thorinn, Aetheria

---

They’d all exchanged pleasantries, and the air of the tavern began to change from tense to relaxed again. Benkei did his part to treat his allies to food and drink, though kept his own servings simple: water, bread and meat. He was still in high school, after all, and did not want to break the “law” regardless of the rules of this world.

“So, I suppose Rael went after Graves. But where is Seele?”

“She went after Kazuki.”

“Does anyone have any idea where they all went?”’ He frowned. “Kazuki could very well go back to his apartment in town, though I don’t know if he would with Seele in tow.” Was his brother secretly a casanova? Would he wine and dine and seduce the young witch? He knew his older brother was cooler and wiser than he, but was he also...in his popular phase?

“I don’t know where Graves and Rael could have gone. They’re both loners, after all. The only others around here they possibly know are probably in Mystic Prophecy…”

Pariah Online: A Voyage into the Intangible Aether

Location:The Riverside- The City of Thorinn, Aetheria

---

“So come on, boss. Buck up, let's get back up to that tavern. You've got some people to keep alive."

“There’s just no arguing with you guys, is there?” Benkei sighed and shrugged, getting up. It didn’t seem like he had a choice in the matter now; he was stuck with these guys. Not that it upset him; they’d worked together and stood by each other throughout that hellish dungeon and survived. They’d survive this as well.

“Alright, let’s go back.” He and Alja made their way back to the tavern, with Benkei making sure to approach both Alex, Kalie, Sif and Siegfried.

”I owe an apology to everyone, but I’ll start with you two. I was not being a great leader by letting my emotions and my relationship with my brother pushed me to fight with Graves, and I owe him an apology if-” he sighed as Alja nudged him, “when he returns. If we’re going to survive in this game, we’re going to need to stick together and rely on each other. That means being honest and be open to sharing what we have with each other. So, I’ll start by ripping this awful bandaid off: My name is Kazuma Hoshizawa, I’m 17 years old. The only real skills I have relate to the game, and I’ll be honest, I don’t do that great in school. My reputation in the game isn’t that great. I’ve been a big jerk to a lot of players in the past, and I have to grow past that. But I promise I will drop the shitty kid act, and I’ll do my best to treat everyone in this group with respect.”

It was a start, at least. He laid everything out in front of the remaining part of the group: complete strangers.

Pariah Online: A Voyage into the Intangible Aether

This post remains a reminder that I am a fucking idiot.

Pariah Online: A Voyage into the Intangible Aether

Location:The Riverside- The City of Thorinn, Aetheria

---

Benkei waved at the girl as she left, and mulled over Alja’s words.

Not gonna ask if you're okay, 'cause that's dumb. You're clearly not. Of course he wasn’t okay. None of them were. They were all stuck in this stupid game, they could die, and they were in the hands of game engineers. Their doom was practically certain.

If you want to talk, I'm always here. He didn’t want to talk. He wanted to jump into the river and just end it all now. But there was also the truth, bubbling up in his chest. All that self-loathing and anger, all exacerbated by the constant fighting and drama.

“You know what sucks? You call me boss, people call me a leader. But I’m not one. Hell, I’m not cut out for any of this. I’m a high-school kid. I’m barely making it through exams. I don’t deserve to be called boss, or leader, or anything like that. Everyone I know has some useful skill they can bring to the table. The only skill I ever had was playing this game, the kicker is, none of the controls work anymore. It’s all just physical feedback. What’s worse, is that if all of this ends, and we go back, I have to deal with the fact that I watched others die, then I go back to being treated like trash in my own house. If I stay here, I get killed by a goblin or a bat or a stupid stone golem.” Benkei groaned. There was no good choice. There was no escape from any of this.

”I thought for just one second, that maybe we could make this place better. That we could stick together and build a world for ourselves here. But then the moment I turn around everyone’s fighting, and then I start fighting too. It’s hopeless if this is how it’s going to be."

Pariah Online: A Voyage into the Intangible Aether

Location:The Riverside- The City of Thorinn, Aetheria

---

“The river helps doesn’t it? Makes you forget about everything for a minute.”

"Helps to try, I guess." Benkei couldn't even attempt to look friendly at this point. His emotions were too wild, and everything was rushing in his head. He wanted it to stop, but he knew there was no spell or potion to fix scars that deep.

“Imagine how hard it’s gonna be tomorrow, or the next day. My group thinks that it is only going to get worse.” She said, a little tinge in her voice as she did so. “What’s left of my group, anyway.”

“I’m sorry.” Benkei frowned. They weren’t the only ones to lose people. That was obvious anyways. “We lost several. Everyone’s still reeling--I…” he trailed off, looking down at the water. “I’m still reeling from it too. I thought I could strengthen everyone’s hopes and resolve with plans, to discuss a strategy on how to make the best of where we’re at. But tempers flared and I made things worse by running my mouth. So that dream is pretty much dead.”

“That bad, huh?”

Bad didn’t even begin to describe the monumental fuck-up that was Hoshizawa Kazuma. In less than a minute, he’d undone every plan that he’d spent the entire day working on, all the discussion, everything. And he knew he’d do it again if the situation was the same. He couldn’t back down from a fight if his brother was involved. It was his weakness; that the one person in the world that he would die for was stuck in this death game alongside him. “Yeah. It’s pretty awful.”

She nodded as she looked toward the sun, “People will come around. Fights are only normal when the stakes are high. Best we can do is try. We’re not gonna survive alone. I don’t know anything about your group, but, you were together for a reason right?

Survive? Did he even want to survive? What did he have back home waiting for him? Hell, would his mother even care that her son was most likely trapped? That he’d most likely die? Probably not. They’d probably put him away in a government run hospital, and sue the hell out of the game company. They’d take the cash, use it to buy whatever the hell they wanted, and they’d forget about him. If he lived? They’d tell him to get the hell out. If he died? They’d probably toast his death. What reason had his group joined together? It was ultimately a test. A test for him.

His stomach tightened into knots. Luci blamed Kazuki but he knew it was his fault. If Aaginim didn’t try to recruit him, they wouldn’t have gone into the dungeon and- He realized he’d been staring out into space for a few seconds. “It wasn’t much of a reason. And…” he sighed. “We were all together because of me. And three people died in that dungeon. So ultimately, when everyone really starts to think about it, everything is all my fault.”

“No, it isn’t. It’s whoever is hacking this game’s fault. You probably didn’t even notice things until you were already in the dungeon and you couldn’t turn back.” She looked at him, frowning, “You can’t blame yourself for a freak accident. Just like my cousin can’t keep blaming herself for what happened to us; and we weren't even in a dungeon. People died yesterday. For no reason.”

“You’re too positive.” Benkei grumbled, burying his face into his hands again and groaning. For him, there was no positivity, there was no silver lining. It was all his fault. And he was too much of a coward to take responsibility for it.

Pariah Online: A Voyage into the Intangible Aether

CW: Suicidal Thoughts

Location:The Laughing Warg Tavern - The City of Thorinn, Aetheria

---

Graves left. Kazuki left. And Benkei was left alone.

He felt the eyes on him. The cold stare of the matron, and the glares of other people. He’d gone off, like he always did. And this was the price he paid.

He preferred the beatings.

He turned away, not speaking to anyone else as he made his way towards the door as well. Not following anyone, just...leaving. Just finding somewhere else to be. All he felt right now were feelings of anger and shame, something he played Pariah to escape from. And yet, here they were, following him here too.

He didn’t look at Sif as he left, but he did say, “Sorry,” out loud to her as he passed her by. He didn’t want to see how she looked at him right now. Probably with disgust like everyone did.

I can’t believe I have to be saddled with that useless brat. At least Kazuki is going to that nice prep school. But Kazuma…

It’s fine Noriko. Once he graduates he won’t be your problem any more. Then we can focus on our family.

His mother thought he was busy studying in the other room. He’d kept quiet enough when he’d heard that. He’d always assumed she hated him. He existed as a way to avoid paying child support, after all. She’d shacked up with Kazuki’s piano tutor, and they’d planned on marrying after he graduated high school. After that, Kazuma assumed he’d no longer have a mother. Not that he had much of one to begin with.

But that was how it was. No one wanted him. No friends, no family--at least, outside of his older brother. And Kazuma assumed he was dragging him down as well. So it wouldn’t be long until Kazuki left him behind on Pariah as well. He had money, and an apartment. He had skills and fans. Kazuki didn’t need his little brother.

He walked through the streets, constantly eyeing the river that passed through Thorinn. His thoughts wandered to leaping into the river. That was the Japanese way when you’d brought shame upon yourself and your family, after all. To end it there. It’d be quick, and no one would really miss him.

He’d planned on leaping into the Sumida River after hearing his mother discuss her future plans with her lover. A phone call from Kazuki had instead taken up his time. He’d calmed down after talking to his brother and instead stayed at home. Thinking back to that moment, the self-destructive thoughts abated for now, and Benkei simply sat on the stone streets staring out over the Thoros River.

Why did Aaginim want him to lead? Why did everyone else follow him and listen to him. He wasn’t a leader. He buckled under pressure. He relied on other to get him out of problems. He made more problems then he helped. He was the weakest link out of the entire group. He buried his face into his hands and sighed deeply.

What the hell was he supposed to do?

Pariah Online: A Voyage into the Intangible Aether

Location:The Laughing Warg Tavern - The City of Thorinn, Aetheria

---

Benkei’s eyes widened. His heart rushed. His fist clenched and he was ready to punch that smug fucking gaijin in his stupid jaw. Every word that followed out of Graves’ stupid mouth just made Benkei’s heart pound. In the corner of his eye, he spied a glass of ale. Every instinct said to smash it in this ugly fucker’s face and-

"Stop."

Benkei stopped. "Stop. Please. He's--Graves is right. It is my fault."

No, that was wrong. What happened in that dungeon-

“Enough Kazuki.” Benkei looked around the room at the eyes focused on them. He met their cold gazes with the glare he’d done so well to define during his days yelling at shitty scrub players. ”I don’t know what the hell you two talked about to get so heated. And I don’t care.” Kazuki could have said the vilest shit and Benkei would have backed him up, even if he disagreed with it. Because he wasn’t going to watch his brother get yelled at, spat on, talked down to. That was what he had to deal with. The fights, the broken noses, the black eyes, the bruised ribs. That was his normal.

”What I do care about is your shitty insinuation that my brother caused Aaginim’s death.” Every word of that hurt. ”If you want to start throwing blame around, you’d best remember who agreed to go into that dungeon. We’re all to blame for going in there when everything felt off. Aaginim. Atlas. Enos. I killed them. You killed them. Every one of us killed them when we entered that fucking dungeon. Don't you dare imply that they're dead because of my brother. Because if you think you're high and mighty, remember that you would be dead before you even left the third room without him.”

What was Graves? Just another bigger guy. Just another person who fucking threw his weight about and beat up punks like himself. “And don’t you dare fucking think I’m going to sit around and watch someone stand over my brother and threaten him. I don’t care how strong you are or how big you think you are. If you have a problem with me or my family, we can take it somewhere else.”

Pariah Online: A Voyage into the Intangible Aether

Location:The Laughing Warg Tavern - The City of Thorinn, Aetheria

---

Raised voices. And now Graves was on his feet, looking like he was prepared to deck Kazuki.

His brother.

“Excuse me-” he said quickly to Sif, realizing he had to act fast. Right now everything he’d worked for was going up in smoke, and he had no idea why. Honestly, he didn’t care why. Someone was being aggressive to his family, and there was no way in hell he was going to stand by and watch this.

He felt a tremor in his hands. He forced it down. He had to force it down because right now Kazuki was in trouble and he wasn’t going to be a coward. He wasn’t going to collapse.

“Hey!” His voice rose higher than he wanted as he approached Graves’ flank. ”The owners already said to keep things civil in here.” His voice was less calm and more tinged with anger and venom. The fact that Graves of all people was pulling an aggressive card with his brothers-his brother-of all people was already out of the question. ”You need to walk away and cool your head before you cause trouble for everyone.” Benkei was serious. And not serious as he had been yesterday. This was a colder serious. The kind of attitude that followed with a thrown fist.

He’d been in enough fights. Lost enough too. But he’d be goddamned if he let someone push his family around.