Hero

Pariah Online: A Voyage into the Intangible Aether

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Kazuki was tired.

The obvious answer was that he had gotten maybe two hours of sleep combined, but he felt like his very soul was weighing him down. Maybe he should look into Buddhism, having no earthly attachments sounded really good right now. The air was sticky and his stupid robe was starting to cling to him. He needed a bath. And a proper change of clothes. He was sure he probably had one of his beginner outfits somewhere in the house. A bath, some food, then he'd let himself collapse into bed and let his thoughts overwhelm him as his emotionally stunted self refused to let him cope healthily. Actually, he could use that time to study the texts he had bought.

It was exceedingly difficult not to think about the fiasco in the tavern, but for once, he didn't linger. No matter how many times he replayed the scenario in his head, it would have ended the same way. He would admit in hindsight that he probably looked like a hypocrite--all his talk of banding together and then turning around and wanting to exclude someone wasn't the smartest idea he had. He shouldn't have brought it up right away; any trust he had gained was definitely gone. He probably wouldn't get another chance, either.

Oh well, he could always take up Robin's offer and go to Iblenar. It actually wasn't the worst idea now that he thought about it. He and Hammer could pool together their wealth and hole up for a long while. He could throw himself into crafting completely and perform in his spare time. He didn't think they'd have any issue if he brought along Kazuma, either. They could always teach him to craft, too, Kazuma was smart enough that he would learn, he was sure of it.

The sound of Seele's voice had surprised him, though hearing that Kazuma had also left didn't. As tempted as he was to take her up on her offer, he couldn't help but let out a heavy sigh. He was headed home anyway, he may as well keep going. "Benkei just needs time to cool off. He'll be fine," Kazuki finally replied, giving Seele a weary look. "I don't understand why you're here. Did you get the full story, or did you come running after me without thinking?"

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Pariah Online: A Voyage into the Intangible Aether

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Fuck.

There was no stopping any of this. Kazuki couldn't stop Kazuma, he couldn't stop Graves, he couldn't even stop himself right now. Alex was kind, but much like Priscilica, he was wasting his time. Kazuki had literally shot himself in the foot--how many times had the same thing happened in school? He was asked something, he answered honestly, then everyone got mad and things would happen. It would've been funny if he had any sense of humor. The game was just mimicking reality at this point, letting him know that no matter where he went, things would stay the same for him.

Kazuki watched Graves leave, running a hand over his face. Graves was wrong, if they were a bomb, they wouldn't have survived yesterday. They wouldn't all be standing there right now--as much as he hated to say it, they succeeded where others didn't. But there were a million other ways Kazuki could have gone about it--for one, he could've shut up, for two he could've gotten Kazuma under control a lot sooner. No, he was pretty sure Graves was going to explode anyway.

It was all his fault.

Looking back down at his feet, he shook his head, letting out a tiny, shaky breath as he gently took Alex's hand off his shoulder. He couldn't handle anything right now, he needed to get his shit together and he wasn't going to be able to do that with everyone staring at him. "Please excuse me, I need to be alone," Kazuki apologized to the group with a bow, unable to look at any of them properly once he straightened up.

He made his way to the door without another word, the outside air a little fresher than the tavern's heat. He almost laughed at himself--where did he think he was going to get to run away to? He had nowhere to go. Still, being outside was a little better, and so he picked a direction and walked, a hand gripping the strap of his bag as he let himself drown in his thoughts at last.

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Pariah Online: A Voyage into the Intangible Aether

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He couldn't believe he let himself get so emotional. Fighting was stupid, arguing was stupid, but there he was getting all worked up. He was supposed to be banding together, not egging on a hothead who was coming at him prepared! But for the first time in a long time, Kazuki had to admit to himself that it hurt to hear. Graves didn't even have to finish the sentence--just hearing it out loud shook him. It was cathartic in the strangest way, he couldn't wrap his head around it. What the hell was wrong with him? Why would he want to hear that? It made everything so much worse, it made it so much more real than he wanted to be.

Seeing Kazuma had snapped him back to reality, recognizing the situation. For fuck's sake, this was literally the opposite of what they were supposed to be doing. And once again, it was his fault. Kazuki moved between Kazuma and Graves, placing a hand on his brother's shoulder to stop him as he looked him in the eye, shaking his head. He knew he needed to properly explain himself, to get things back on track. Not that he thought there was a point--any hope of unity was shattered because of him. He had to at least try to salvage it.

"Stop," Kazuki said, his voice a little louder than intended. "Stop. Please. He's--Graves is right. It is my fault." In every possible way.

Choosing to bite his tongue and feeling like it wasn't going to help anyway, Kazuki looked directly at Graves, having to resist the urge to look away. "I am sorry," He stated it clearly. "I spoke based on what little I know and a terrible first impression." And a bad second impression, and bad third impression...in an odd sense, he was right that that girl caused issues. Go figure.

"This isn't what I--what we came here for," Kazuki made an effort to put things back on track. "And I'm sorry. I wanted us--all of us--to come together."

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Pariah Online: A Voyage into the Intangible Aether

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So much for things going smoothly.

A small, tiny voice said that Kazuki should apologize. His initial assumption was completely biased and aside from an unpleasant comment before everything happened, he had no real reason for his words aside from a gut feeling. Nothing Graves said was wrong. Nothing he said was inaccurate. Well, this is probably what he got for trying to be social. He should have considered this a possibility, but he hadn't really thought Graves would get so emotionally defensive over someone not worth it. No, the best thing to do was to calm down. Apologizing was for the weak, but for the sake of unity, it was probably needed.

At the last sentence, however, Kazuki's eyebrows shot up for a second before he narrowed his eyes, his eyes cold and every previous thought thrown out the window. He knew it. He knew he wasn't just being paranoid or hard on himself. He knew that this is what they'd pin on him.

“I’ll never forgive you.”

"Say it," Kazuki challenged Graves, ignoring Alja for a moment.

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Pariah Online: A Voyage into the Intangible Aether

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Kazuki had to resist the urge to roll his eyes--why in the world did Graves assume he was talking about Rael? Was he the only one that saw it? Well, Graves was all about battle and violence, maybe picking up on subtleties wasn't one of his strengths. Which wasn't a bad thing, but he supposed being diplomatic would only get him so far. While he would have chosen another word for it, Graves was right, he should be his usual blunt self. There wasn't any point in hiding his intentions, and the last thing he wanted was for him to think the wrong idea. This was definitely ironic considering he had previously hoped he wouldn't end up with either of them yesterday, but no one needed to know that.

"Fair enough," He decided to be as plain as possible. "I don't believe the Augustine assassin is to be trusted. Their contributions were minimal yesterday and unlike the rest of us, doesn't seem to be able to hold it together without causing issues. Clearly she's the reason behind both altercations that had just happened; she'll bring nothing but problems going forward."

Biased? Yes. But it didn't matter, no one knew enough about him to call him out on it. Rael was too valuable of a DPS to let get away anyway. He would have to figure out how to get Alja on board since the argument, but he figured so long as the troublemaker wasn't in the way, he could probably figure something out. Weeding out the weakest was probably for the best. If she wanted to spend all her time sobbing, she could do it in the safety of the town and not while they were doing things.

"I know Rael has shown some personality issues in the past, but I think she's more reliable in a fight. She handled the news the best out of everyone--it's telling of her character," Kazuki continued. "I'd rather have her as an ally. She's a little reckless but it produces results."

"But I have to ask," He couldn't really stop his curiosity. "Why did you think I was talking about Rael? Alja and Sieg also got into it, too."

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Pariah Online: A Voyage into the Intangible Aether

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Wow, they agreed! A massive relief for sure, but Kazuki was so sure he was going to have to make more of a case. Maybe he undersold his diplomacy. It was a nice boost of confidence considering the last twenty four hours and he wasn't going to complain. Both men had already more than proven themselves and he felt he could trust them both. Graves' confidence would be a boon and he didn't seem as wild as he was before. Alex had already given him a good feeling and his acceptance did wonders for his nerves, even if his drinking concerned him a little. But he still trusted the two more than most, and he knew his brother would put any differences aside for the greater good.

However, the same could not be said for the entirety of the group. To his dismay, Kazuma was already talking to Sif, but he supposed it couldn't be helped. And of course there was something of an argument that further cemented the thought--apparently Alja and Rael were going at it, and who was next to them but Kalie, who looked like she was on the verge of tears. As quickly as it started it ended, though he caught Siegfried going over to probably tell Rael off. He didn't even have to know what happened to guess that the 'roleplayer' had caused it.

"That being said, we should be careful who we do choose to associate with. I'll be the first to admit I'm wary of certain people," Kazuki would admit that much, shaking his head. "For one, I sincerely doubt anyone from Mystic Prophecy would want to even look at me right now, let alone associate with me. For another...we should all at least try to get along. Anyone that causes issues should be avoided, no matter how innocent they look. Other players can be unpredictable, and it helps to be wary."

He couldn't quite stop the bitterness in his voice at his last sentence, but he felt the need to address something Alex mentioned. "So long as we keep our heads on our shoulders and take things as they come, we can probably handle it for the most part," He replied. "We have to throw away most of the things we knew about this 'game' and treat it as reality. For some, it'll be easy. For others, not so much."

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Pariah Online: A Voyage into the Intangible Aether

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Graves' arrival had been convenient and Kazuki was glad to see him. There was something about his consistency that was refreshing, even if it was accompanied by a metaphorical gut punch. Oh no, was that what everyone thought of him? Was his failure just going to follow him around forever? It was one thing for his every spare thought burying him in anxiety over it, but somehow hearing it out loud was a thousand times worse. At least Graves was open about it, what of the rest? Would they just look at him in pity? Would Alex be reminded and reject his offer? Was it his destiny to drown in his failure and be blacklisted from any parties because they want a competent healer despite him pouring over medical texts and doing his best to improve oh no what if they saw him buying the books and laughed at his attempts--

Before Kazuki would drown in his thoughts, Graves mentioned a meeting, snapping him back to reality. Yes, of course, he should take advantage of the fact that Graves had openly approached them. He was still convinced the man was probably better off with the guild but if there was any chance at him possibly being open to the idea of sticking with them, then Kazuki would be a fool to pass up the opportunity.

"Actually--" Was he saying that too much? 'Actually'? No, it was happenstance. "--you're someone I wanted to talk to as well," Kazuki admitted. "I was just mentioning to Alex that his performance yesterday proved that he was someone to be trusted, and now that you're here, I'll extend that to you as well. There's no denying your skills and I understand if you feel you're better off elsewhere, but I was hoping you'd consider sticking to Benkei and I--and Alex as well, if he agrees."

Even if he felt like he was repeating himself, he figured it was best to explain. But whereas he thought Alex had one approach, he thought it was best to change it up a little for Graves. Aside from not wanting to come off as repetitive, different targets required alternate methods of recruitment. That thought did not sound manipulative at all regardless of what his conscious told him.

"I don't think anyone yesterday would deny your abilities and strength came to the rescue a multitude of times, and your synergy with the others was unparalleled," He continued. "I think coming together as a group would benefit everyone. The rules have changed in more ways than one, I don't think it's unreasonable to believe that there are strength in numbers. We don't know what else has changed aside from the monsters, as well as..."

He trailed off as he thought back to Marianna. "...the rest of this world. When I was on my way back from the shop, a NPC approached me and spoke to me of my performances. It's not surprising that they remembered as a majority of my revenue came from them, but it was strange that she approached me first. Everything about the conversation was strange, I almost thought I was talking to another player," He shook his head, a little more determined. "Which is why I would like--why I was hoping we could also count on your support."

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Pariah Online: A Voyage into the Intangible Aether

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It had definitely felt like a long time, Kazuki agreed with that much. Still, he couldn't help but slightly raise an eyebrow as Alex drank. The tavern obviously reeked of alcohol, but he was a little surprised to see someone his age--were they the same age?--take a swig like an experienced drinker. Then again, he couldn't really blame him, even if he wished he had arrived beforehand to stop him. There was just something wrong about seeing an obviously sullen Alex trying to drink his woes away. Gone was the warrior archer from yesterday, replaced instead with a young man that seemed like he was in over his head.

Not that he was one to talk.

Alex spoke of a letter and followed where he had gestured to, only now seeing Seele and Alja. It looked like Alja was in the same boat as Alex with Seele comforting her. Was there ever a moment she wasn't comforting someone? He had to admit it was admirable to see her the same as yesterday as she continued to be there for everyone. He never did thank her, did he?

Kazuki tore his gaze away from Seele and looked over to Kazuma for advice, only for the latter to have gone elsewhere. Alright, he supposed recruiting Alex would now fall to him, the socially inept Kazu. Well, if he succeeded, maybe afterwards he could catch Seele and Alja. Reaching into his bag, he pulled out a handkerchief and offered it to Alex. He was pretty sure the poor guy didn't even realize he had ink all over his chin.

"Actually, 'plans and stuff' is why we're here," Kazuki told him with a slight shrug. "Ka--Benkei and I thought that maybe banding together would be more effective than staying apart. At the very least having more people to rely on isn't a bad thing nowadays."

He had no idea if what he was trying to say even made sense, but he knew he had to try. "Yesterday happened and we're all still here. We're still alive, and that only happened because we were together," He continued, pausing for a moment as he scratched his cheek. "Truth be told, I--It's difficult to find people that are trustworthy. People that are reliable. You're someone that people can rely on and you pull through when needed."

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Pariah Online: A Voyage into the Intangible Aether

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Suddenly Kazuki was wishing he could turn invisible.

He didn't think he had ever been anxious before, what the hell was this world doing to him? Then again, having to show his face to people who knew of his failure was also a first--there was a bitter thought at the back of his mind that figured at least a beating was more predictable and would eventually end. But Kazuma was right, there was strength in numbers and as disastrous as the dungeon had went, on their half, they managed. No, that was giving the group too little credit; they all survived and lived to tell the tale. And with the glitch firmly in place that was more of an accomplishment than it should have been.

He had to admit he was still slightly distrustful, although he admitted he wasn't sure if there were any specific reasons or if because he was expecting them to blame him the same way Luci had. Well, there was one for sure he was uneasy with partying again: the scythe user spelled out trouble for him. She reminded him too much of Minako and he would be damned if he was stuck with someone like her again in this world. The way she roleplayed, the way she tried to apologize to him, it stirred up some uncomfortable memories that he would rather stay far away from. Then there was Rael and Graves to consider. The former had more than held her own, and Graves was a madman but effective. It was less about wondering if they would want to stick with them and more about if they weren't already scooped up by the other people that remained in the guild. Alja, too, probably, that last ice attack was really something. He supposed Alex and Seele seemed more the type to join up with them, but maybe they were more comfortable elsewhere.

That said, together they had been pretty balanced. Everyone had pulled their weight considerably and synergized considering they had never partied together as a group. Initially he had been asked if he could handle healing alone and he managed. Seele was a fantastic support alongside him and he had to admit he liked working aside her even after the announcement. Still, they didn't have any long range attackers, and his healing had been proven to be subpar at best. Maybe he could work more on his offensive spells as well, he should add it to his list.

Kazuki exhaled, shaking his head at himself. Why was he thinking so hard about all this? Kazuma was the one that would do all the talking, anyway. He should stick to what he knew, and that needed some serious work. His plan had been to study while all the talking was happening, he wasn't exactly a diplomat nor was he popular. Still, it left a bad taste in his mouth, he may as well put in the effort. Even if only one person decided to join them, he would count it as a success.

The tavern was much more bustling than he had anticipated, but then again, every other player had wisely chosen to seek shelter in the cities. Taking a look around, he was a little relieved that he hadn't seen anyone from Mystic Prophecy. Not that it meant they weren't around, but out of sight, out of mind. He did, however, spot the familiar brunet hunched over a paper.

Approaching the man, he tapped his shoulder. "Hello," He ended up greeting him.

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①⑨⑥⑧

S T A R F I R E

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The thrill of a good fight was something Koriand'r didn't realize she had actually missed. Whatever strength she had had been used toiling away under a hot sun or being little more than a glorified trophy occasionally, but the teachings of the Warlords of Ookara were instilled in her the same way breathing was. It would have felt a little more justified against the spineless Psions, but she had to admit, the Gordonians gave much more of a fight--all the better to release years of frustration and pent-up anger. It felt so good to whack something living, to feel the rush as she dodged an attack.

Of course it was nice to have some allies on her side, too!

The Blue One (whose name she really should have asked by now) managed to surprise her yet again, especially as he was so foolhardy to intercept an attack. But the real surprise was that the bolts from the Gordonians' weaponry did nothing to him. She had a high pain tolerance but the electric charges hurt, so the fact that he could just shrug them off like that astounded her. Perhaps she had underestimated his planet after all.

There was no time to remain in awe, however, as the Green Lantern seemed to not have the ability of flight. It must vary between the colors of the people on this planet, she would need to remember that. "Then you take point, I shall return in just a moment!" She told the flying blue guy before zipping downwards, discarding her makeshift club in favor of grabbing the green one away from the not-friendly green one.

Placing him down on the group, she offered him a grin, though it didn't last as a Gordonian landed on her. It stepped down on her abdomen, speaking in its native tongue as she lifted her hands up, the green energy glowing in her hands until she blasted the thing off her. As she clumsily got to her feet, she made another attempt at breaking the cuffs, frustrated as she was unable to free herself.

"Would you be so kind as to remove these so I may better fight against my former slavers?" She asked the Green Lantern as sweetly as she could. "I would be much more effective with freer hands."

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_{@Asura@DocTachyon}