Henry was lit off of his fucking ass, which was perhaps a bad choice, given the nature of the situation he was in.
He was taking his mother to lunch, in this case to Captain Cuddles. It seemed like, at the time, the best option of the several he’d thought of. He needed to talk to her, and to do that, he needed to eat. And to eat, he needed to go to a restaurant. He wasn’t like Hailey, though, and he wasn’t about to be caught dead at one of those five star joints the Greens owned; besides, he needed to keep his moms away from the sauce. If he didn’t do that, then there was almost no point to this plan.
After all, the bitch would get as turnt as he did at parties. Only, she did it off of red wine and other assorted mom drinks. He did it off of… well, whatever he could get his hands on. The options were varied. Henry was chewing now, staring intently at his moms while he munched on his third breadstick since they’d sat down four minutes, and twenty seven seconds ago.
“Moms. We need to talk.”
Captain Cuddles wouldn’t be her preferred choice to eat, and neither would the fancy Green restaurants. Evelyn was a beach woman at heart. Even with her gothic roots, she was drawn to the ocean so either a simple picnic on the sands of Malibu beach or eating at a pier cafe with outdoor seating, where she could watch the waves and feel the breeze, was ideal for her. However, this wasn’t about her. This was about Henry and he took priority to anything she wanted, since he meant the world to her.
In front of her was mostly fruit to pick at and a side of salad, since she did not like the grease of pizza. Honestly, Evelyn was incredibly picky and if her food wasn’t up to par, either homemade by Ty or specifically made for her, she would not eat. At all. Her body was probably more filled with alcohol than actual food, which… wasn’t healthy at all, but kept her engine rolling. With her fork, she pierced into a cut strawberry without the leaf, and took in her son’s handsome features. Once again, the daunting realization that he was growing up, no longer wanting anything to do with her, set in. With a distant gaze, she gave a half smile, “About?” before placing the red fruit into her mouth.
“YOU, duh. You got pops stressed so hard the dude stole my goddamn weed. If it’s that bad with that dude, who the fuck knows, how bad it is with Mother. She’s probably gonna kill that Justin kid — by the way, when were you gonna tell me she could speak Korean, huh? That seems like, you know, AN IMPORTANT DETAIL. Fuck.” Henry waved his hand, the waiter came by with the pitcher of vanilla Dr. Pepper. Henry held his glass out and watched as it was filled up. He needed more pizza. Once the waiter walked off, Henry looked toward the lunch buffet, but just made a slightly distressed noise and just took another bite of a fresh breadstick. He’d deal with his moms first. “You need to chill the eff out, ya feel? I ain’t tryna bury my moms at sixteen because she couldn’t handle not droppin’ back whiskey, because she thinks her kids don’t love her no more. Fuck outta here.”
Henry grabbed his glass of Dr. Pepper and slammed it back. Fuck, his mouth was dry. Fuck cotton mouth. Couldn’t they make a breed of this shit that didn’t have this problem? Henry made a mental note to look into this. Crunching on a piece of ice, he again held the empty cup out and it was again filled up. Once more, Henry dropped it back without much delay or hesitation. “Shit.” He took his palm and massaged his forehead. Where to even begin? He wasn’t sure. How could he be sure? The woman sitting across from him had more problems than the fucking Middle East.
“You gotta step back and take a reality check. We growin’ up. We’re becomin’ ad-ults. Me? I don’t want you to throw a fuckin’ party for me. All I do is party, Moms! I gots a girlfriend now, I just wanna spend my birthday with her, damn.” Henry poured another piece of ice into his mouth, and spoke with his mouth full as he loudly crunched on it. “We can have a birthday dinner or whatever, just me, you and her. Maybe Pops or Mother can come, I don’t care. Maybe both. But I ain’t six! I ain’t twelve! It ain’t cute no more that you throw me and Cyndi duo birthdays because you let Pops dick you down on his birthday. That ain’t cool. If anything, shit’s embarrassing. We don’t even like the same shit! Separate the parties.”
“And, another thing, I don’t hate you. I’m just busy. Christ. How could I hate you? Your my MOTHER. I CAME FROM YOUR UTERUS. But I’m growing up! I’m becoming a man! I’m getting ready to advance my life. I’m finding my way. I’m trying to figure things out, and I don’t wanna be smothered. Takes a hand off approach, and watch me, uh… shit, what do those cringey moms on Instagram and Facebook say? Watch me blossom into something you can be proud of. You think about that for a sec.” Henry stood up, and when he did, he looked down at the booth for a second, and let out a long breath. “Fuck, I’m way too high…” He headed over to the lunch buffet, and stared at it for a second, then looked at the kitchen… fuck it, Remy could make another pizza.
Without a care in the world, Henry dumped the half a pie left on one of the trays onto a plate, and headed back to the booth. Sitting down across from his mother, Henry spoke again — this time with a mouthful of cheesy greasy goodness. “You want my advice? You best call up Auntie Jules and you and her better start suckin’ Pops’s soul through his dick in tandem, because Hails graduates this year, and he is NOT gonna handle that well.”
“I appreciate the advice.” Evelyn calmly responded, all her emotions hidden behind her cold mask. Silently, she took a sip of water, before shaking her head, “You aren’t being entirely fair, Henry.” Until he had children of his own, he would never understand and god forbid he had a child before he turned twenty. She had three vastly different spirited children and the main reason she combined his birthday with Cyndi’s was because… Cyndi didn’t necessarily have friends that weren’t her internet fans. Sure, it was a selfish thing to do but it was necessary.
“When do you allow me a chance to talk about your mother? The moment I say her name, you either curse me out or walk away, so me telling you about the things you could find out from talking to her yourself is near impossible. Up until you met Min-seo… you didn’t really care about knowing ‘important details’. And you know exactly why I combine your parties. Don’t act like you don’t. Your sister adores you even on the days you make her cry. Yes, it’s incredibly co-dependent of her but what else am I supposed to do? She isn’t like you or Hailey. I can’t just hope she’ll magically make friends on her own.”
Talking about all this was causing her to lose her appetite. Placing her fork down, she pushed her plate of fruit away from her. “And I know better than anyone that you ALL are growing up. But, like you said, you DID come out of my VAGINA so yeah, it is hard to deal. And it’s unfair of you to think I should just be okay with that. Everyone takes out their frustration on me. I can barely keep the peace with my children and my lovers. Some days our family barely feels like a family. And ever since Silvan died it’s incredibly hard to pretend to know what I’m doing. Because I don’t and it seems like none of you are grateful for anything we try to do for you.” The mask was fading and the sorrow that filled Henry’s mother’s heart was taking surface. She didn’t have an instrument or alcohol to turn to. She was forced to just sit there and talk about her feelings. This made her uncomfortable. Honestly, if she didn’t want to hurt his feelings she would leave.
When the plate of fruit was pushed across the table, Henry pulled it closer to his side. If she wasn’t gonna eat that shit, then dammit, he would. No food left uneaten; they weren’t savages. Wastefulness was a sin. Henry stared at his mother in the eyes, and it seemed like he might say something… meaningful, and soulful… before Henry simply threw a piece of strawberry onto a piece of pizza and ate it. Two bites in, he shook his head. “That was fucked up. Why would you just let me do that? Ah, shit, this was a mistake.” Gagging slightly, he swallowed it down. Slowly, he placed the piece of pizza down, and then decided it was time to look up and address everything his mom had said. Her sadness briefly turned into disgust when she watched the tragic, grotesque scene that was her son eating strawberries with his nasty ass pizza and then his words caused her to crack a smile.
If Henry had his way, they’d be passing a doobie around, but damn. She was really whining wasn’t she? He wasn’t a paid professional, he couldn’t handle this kind of issue, all he could do was his best. He wasn’t his father, he wasn’t his mother. He didn’t have the keys or the buttons to press, he could just explain things from his perspective, as best he could anyway. “Normally in a situation like this, you start at the top and you work your way down, but I’mma start at a certain point.” Henry leaned in real close to his mom, and spoke quietly, “moms you can’t just say ‘vagina,’ you’re a grown ass woman. You’re supposed to have some maturity. Respect for the pizza parlor.” Henry leaned back and yawned, “what if I tried the watermelon on the ‘za, bro? Nah… nah that’d probably be worse. Watermelon’s kinda grainy…”
“I ain’t boostin’ Cyndi to friends, you gotta see that. You think just because we have a birthday party together, she’s gonna come up to my room, and pass the joint around and play NBA 2k with me and the boys? That ain’t how it’s workin’, come on. You want Cyndi to make friends? You need to get mother to stop smothering her, and maybe she’ll find some of that innate charisma that comes with the bloodline…. what about honey dew? Take this away. Eat this before I make another mistake.” Henry pushed the fruit plate back to his mother, playing 4D chess. She had to eat something, he knew how she got. “We’re plenty grateful. Geeze. If I wasn’t grateful for Benedict and Arnold, I woulda got read their exotic, water dog, giant guinea pig lookin’ asses eons ago. You gotta relax. What do you want me to do, introduce Cyndi to people? She wouldn’t like my people! She’s sucking that Justin dude’s dick now, seems like she’s just fine.”
“She isn’t like you or Hailey, the fuck is that supposed to mean? You tryna say Hailey and I are alike? Alike how?”
“Strong personalities. Opinionated. Passionate over the things you love. Probably secretly enjoys yelling at each other, like Alyssa and Ty do with one another, though honestly share a mutual understanding that neither is willing to admit. You both care or Hailey wouldn’t have tried to have a family dinner and you wouldn’t have cheered up your baby sister. Oh, and you both seem to have a similar type.” Somehow, Eve’s gloom was no longer there and perhaps it’s because her son had a way of making her smile even if he was being foolish. She grabbed her fork once more and started actually eating. “And you’re right. I should try to give Cyndi some space. I think we could start with Min and Parker, though? I feel like she would get along lovely with them. Hasn’t she already had a few phone calls with Parker while she was in Seoul because you never had time for your phone?” In went the cantaloupe. Observing him carefully, she respectfully chewed with her mouth closed.
“I told you already, I’m busy as fuck. Similar type? You mean Korean? Bitch, that’s racist.” Henry scoffed, rolling his eyes as he ate another bite of pizza. She really was running her mouth, wasn’t she? Going on and on and on. “Fine, fine. I’ll tell Min and Park to hang out with her. Yes, she’s talked to Parker. Yes, I didn’t have time for my phone. But similarly, Parker was always on my phone, so it wasn’t even like, my fault. Yes, I did send her to voicemail like, six times. I don’t wanna bullshit on the phone, dude. Look, if you want me to baby Cyndi and raise her myself, you’re trippin’. I’m already dealing with Parker.”
“I’m not saying RAISE her, but you could GUIDE her. Do you know how weird it would be if I came to your school trying to push her to go to social events? That’s just uncalled for. She’d absolutely hate that. Like, maybe convince her to join the dance club too? I’m sure her people would be there. That reminds me… what do you know about Justin? Do you think he’s a good fit for her? I can’t help but think she’s only dating him because she’s never had a boyfriend before and both you and Hailey are committed now.” Yes, she was yammering on, but this was her chance to get on the same page as her son, while finding out intel about everything else. “And, you choose to ‘deal’ with Parker because you enjoy taking care of her. Why can’t you help your sister out a little more too?”
“It’s different, dude! It’s different! Why do I have to guide her? Get Hailey to guide her, Hailey’s a better guide than I am! She, like, runs the school or whatever. Parker’s different, she’s like, my daughter… kinda. I’m attached to Parker! She has problems, she needs help. Cyndi’s a Green, she can go wherever she wants and command the situation and run the shit.” He paused to think about Justin for a second, before he shook his head. “Hell nah, dude. Justin ain’t it for Cyndi, but whatever. Maybe once she gets laid she’ll stop being such a child. It could be good for her, to date him and dump him or whatever. Who cares? She’s a child, live and let learn.”
Taking in his words, Evelyn chewed the piece of grape slowly. After she swallowed, she tapped her free fingers on the table, trying to map a plan to make this the most successful year for Cyndi, in terms of her being a teen and not some destined super idol. “Hailey wants nothing to do with the school, and your sister for that matter.” That dinner was honestly disastrous. Everything that could’ve went wrong, did, and Eve saw the gasoline poured all over her eldest after Cyndi confidently spoke some fighting words over a matter she knew nothing about because she was countries away. Stressful. This was all so stressful. If only she had wine. Leaning her head back to tiredly scan the ceiling and the textures of it, she sighed, “Can I clean your room? It would make me feel better.” Her OCD had a desire and if she couldn’t figure out how to solve her children’s issues, she could at least keep her house in order.
“You could…”
Henry paused, and took a sip from his drink. Staring at Eve, he cracked the slightest of smiles. Henry didn’t know how his mother was going to take this, nor did he quite frankly care. Normally, Henry would have exploded in a symphony of no’s and excuses, reasons he didn’t want his mother in his room, but this time was different…
“...but Min already cleaned it, since she’s moved into it.”
Oh.
Her fork slipped out of her hand, falling to the ground, and for an instant, Eve was stunned. His room was cleaned and not by her. And he didn’t throw insults and no’s at her, causing her to force her way into his room anyway. “It’s cleaned already?” She whispered to herself. More of a rhetorical question, while she digested this newfound information. There was a part of her that was downhearted, but it was only a small portion of her heart that enjoyed to do that for him as his mother. There was a soft smile that appeared on her face. Min was a good girl. The Green Mama was starting to appreciate everything the young girl’s done for her son, so far. “That’s wonderful, Henry.” is all she said in response.
Henry nodded, stuffing more pizza into his mouth. “Yeah, she is kinda wonderful. I told her last night, you know… the big L word… She said it back, so it’s okay…. look, you should talk to her. Take her to lunch or some shit. I like her a lot, so I’m hoping she sticks around for a while… you can help with that. And you better make sure Mother is on top of making sure that the girl I’m sleeping with doesn’t get sent across the ocean because her little princess got pissy and threw a tantrum.”
“I’ll take care of it.” Before Eve realized it, her fruit was gone. Did she actually eat all her food for once? “And sure, just let me know what works best for her. I’d love to take her to my vineyard. Or is that too excessive?”
“I don’t know. I just know Mother is gonna try to talk to her, and that makes me excessively uncomfortable, and I’d love for you to do it first. Want some pizza?” Henry asked, shoving his plate over toward her. His work was done, for now.
Grimacing at the sight of the incredibly cheesy and greasy food, Eve knew her son wouldn’t take no for an answer. Not when it came to her eating. “Okay.” Hesitantly, she picked up the pizza and stared at it, really not wanting it. Forcing herself, she took a tiny, very tiny bite, and then put it back down, giving him a forced ‘yum’ look, before saying reassuringly, “Your mother likes Min. Out of everyone, you impressed her the most.”
“Oh thank god. I’m stressed about her… you don’t understand. Mother is wild, and I don’t want her to try and like… make Min hate me. Talk to her. Please? I’ll make Cyndi do something forward if you want…. So she stops bein’ such a little baby. Good job eating the pizza, I’m proud of you,” he said, taking another bite of the pizza himself. He shook his head. Min and his mother was a… mortifyingly uncomfortable proposition…
“I hate pizza.” Evelyn grabbed the napkin and urgently wiped the shine off her fingers. She’ll take some time to prepare Min for Alyssa and make sure Alyssa wasn’t up to no good. Her job never stopped in the Green household. She hoped she made Silvan proud. “Very well. And I won’t throw you a birthday party. Even if it’s your big eighteen.” Salty. This made her tremendously salty, but this was what he wanted and she couldn’t change that.
“And I hate interactin’ with Cyndi, so it looks like we’re both makin’ sacrifices. You wanna throw me a party? You really, truly, wanna do a party for me? Then you’ll take the parents far, far away for a weekend, and give me the keys to the Estate. If you do that, you come back, and we’ll talk about a little shindig for me and Cyndi together. Either way, I already told you. Dinner. Me, you, Min, and whoever.”
When he proposed a new option, her pointer finger tapped on the table showing her intrigue, as it made a light tempo. If she took Alyssa, Ty, and Jules away for a weekend, he would be okay having a party. This could get her in… a lot of trouble… like punishment after punishment, but was it worth it? Her son would be enjoying himself and be happy.
Yes, it was completely worth it.
Sure, this was spoiling him — she did that often. Even so, this was a risk she was willing to take. “Deal.” Short but enough.
“Ayyyyyyyyyyyyyyy. Let’s get the fuck outta here, my high’s wearing off.”