ineffable

Star Trader

"What do you say we explore the possibility of us? May we date, Sofie?"

Sofie flinched. It was a bad reaction, she knew and her cheeks heated up in response to her own actions but she wasn't used to this. People in her career, the ones who pursued romance anyways always had a hidden agenda up their sleeve. Relationships were just a way to mutually benefit from each other, they weren't suited for love, warmth and care. She'd never seen such a thing demonstrated in the people she was usually around with and for a lack of a better word, she would describe the whole experience as uncomfortable. However, for once she felt light and free. She could afford to be in love, to actually like someone could she? She could let down her defenses?

-'-

"YOU STUPID GIRL!" Hands grabbed her by the collar of her shirt and slammed her against the wall. Her head crashed against it and she felt a throbbing make it's way into her skull. Blood streamed down from her closed fists, results of her nails embedding themselves in her soft palms.
"You listen to me okay, Sofie?" Father knelt down in her front of her, his face livid and full of anger.
"Yes." Sofie answered, cracked lips brushing each other as she opened her mouth.
"You never cry in the face of death. It makes you weak." Father gestured at the picture of mother, one where she sat smiling, Sofie held tightly in her arms.
"But...it was mother. I loved her." She knew she shouldn't have said it but Sofie was too tired now, too upset, too angry to deal with any of the consequences she'd have to face.
SLAM!
Sofie tried hard to catch her breath as she went sliding down to the floor, blood from her fingers streaking her cheeks as she tried to rub her head.
"Love has no place in this world, in our paths we've chosen. You, child, you have to learn this...DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?" His foot stomped down on her bare feet and she screamed.
"ANSWER ME!"
"Yes." She managed as she struggled to get up. She couldn't remain on the floor, no, it would only make him angrier.
"Good."
His mouth spread into a smile and as he turned to go his hands brushed aside the picture of her mother, causing it to land face down on the ground with the glass shattered and scattered in small glittering pieces around them. A tear dripped down her cheek.

-'-

"Ed, I..."
What was she going to say? She didn't know anything of love and he didn't know anything about her. Would he be so accepting knowing what she'd done in the past? How many people were broken and bloodied because of her? And as for her herself...was she willing to let another person in? Her mother had always told her that love was real, that it was out there somewhere so was this finally her chance? The questions plagued her as she struggled for an answer. Maybe she could try it out. Her mom would've liked that. If she was still here.
"You don't know me. And...I've...I just..." The words struggled to find themselves out of her mouth. How could she admit to him who she had used to be? Who she maybe still was? She longed for love yes, but what would his reaction be?

Finally, Sofie closed her eyes and grabbed his hand, softly.
"I'm not the person you think I am."

Star Trader

@Thinslayer

Sorry, this whole thing is definitely taking me longer than it should. I just got assigned a major work project and am a bit stressed about it. Just a warning but I'm so so sorry once again.

Star Trader

@Thinslayer

Thank you for explaining to me the dating "etiquette" in the Crescent to me. It kind of changes my choice as to what Sofie will say a bit. Hopefully, I'll have a response to you by tomorrow but it's sadly not guaranteed. Been working quite hard to get a few free moments but they don't come easily :)

P.S: Thanks to you Not Another Song About Love is now stuck in my head and as good as it is (the original version) it's gonna start to kill me someday ;)

Star Trader

@Thinslayer

Ah no, don't change anything! I was just surprised he did that. I'm thinking it through and while I want to do something as a writer I feel like I should do something as Sofie

Star Trader

@Thinslayer

WHAT???????

WOAH MAN

Star Trader

@Thinslayer

I think he’s still a pretty intelligent gentleman and I’m certainly getting that from him. I’d say that he has some sort of right to be cocky though, considering his privilege so his lines if it does anything, just makes him seem young.

If anything this mix of personalities might draw Sofie in closer to him. Opposites attract, no?

Star Trader

@Thinslayer

Ahhh, caught onto that. I'll give Sofie a reply, should be done in about 10 mins! :)

EDIT: Done! A bit weird but done all the same

Star Trader

@Thinslayer

Whew! New post is up! Sorry if it transitioned so quickly. I haven't written anything remotely story like in the past few weeks and this was my lame attempt at inserting some of Sofie's history in there. Ahhh, my writing really is terrible :/

I hope you've had a great day!

Star Trader

"Your technique could use some improvement here and there, but that was a solid first try for a newbie pilot. Nicely done, m'girl. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to take a nap in my bunks. Do not disturb me until we arrive at our destination, understand? Good." Sofie blushed and leaned back further in the seat, crossing her arms and quirking the corner of her mouth into a bashful smile. She watched as Darcy walked off and gave a small chuckle before stretching her arms over her head, the grin on her face only growing wider as she listened to Ed talk. She made a show of shielding her face with her hands and a laugh managed to escape her this time, filling the room as it echoed off metal walls. It had been so long since she had laughed that Sofie almost immediately muffled it. Taking one glance at Ed's smile and at her own open expression she remembered her old friends and how they had shared so many laughs together after funny stories. Those were times when she had been allowed to be happy, away from her father...her colleagues. This moment here with Ed reminded her of that and a wistful smile appeared on her lips. Again, she remembered that they wouldn't be able to know where she was, if she had achieved her crazy dream, if she was alive at all because they were buried under cold soil and their smiles were rotting from their faces but she was sure they were watching somewhere and that they would be happy to see her in such joy.

The room turned quiet as Sofie watched the stars pass by. She had never really allowed the loss of her friends to hit her but now that it did she wondered why. Her gaze strayed over to Ed. Maybe it was finally because she was feeling comfortable with him here? Maybe it was because she was in the sky again after so many years of dreaming of it. Or maybe it was simply because it was time for her to remember that again. She didn't know why it was exactly but found that amongst the planets, the dark navy sky and the soft light falling on Ed, she didn't really care.

Sofie caught onto the silence anticipating her reply.
"I'm waiting for the day that he tells those stories...imagine us doing that someday, Ed. When we have enough stories to tell."

Star Trader

@Thinslayer

Wow that sounds like a lot of thinking went on! I'm always amazed by your ability to think in depth about certain plot points or settings. It's a really good idea and I look forwards to seeing it soon!

Also, another warning. It may take a bit for me to get back to you. I'll try my best but as of now I'm expecting an influx in work for this week :(