@Bunnita - Wow. Great stuff! It's really amazing how much detail you went into your character. I really loved her backstory too. Awesome job, Bunny! (can I call you Bunny? :p) And no, there isn't really anything significant about your character that I think needs editing. You're missing a bit of emphasis on the Red Seminary training and the Omestri people that you might want to add in though. You'll see what I mean at the end of this post.
@Hansa: You can totally post your character now if you want. :)
By the way, for all the folks submitting new characters, I've added a bit of miscellaneous information about the world (entries on the Red Seminary and the Omestri people) to the second post of the thread. This extensive bit of background info was very kindly created by Avery Calhoun, and it's pretty interesting and gives some cool insight into those two plot elements. I'll be adding more entries of misc world info (stuff like different demon breeds, ect) to that section later on as well.
EDIT: Apparently there's a limit to how much text can be in a single post, which fucks up my plans for having a single 'codex post' containing more world info. So I'll just post the info entries in the thread as new posts and link them instead.