MatthiasAngel

《Convalescence - A New World 》

@CourierSix Don't get too hyped up, you only posted once. :P

《Convalescence - A New World 》

@CourierSix Awesome. I'm looking forward to it. I think your character is one of the most interesting ones here. Everyone else is like "The world is destroyed and it sucks," and he's like "Yeah this is my world now."

EDIT: I've updated my second post. It's a bit longer and more interesting now.

《Convalescence - A New World 》

@Gunther Maybe it's not so much the number of paragraphs as it is the length of them. I was mobile when I posted that, so everything looked a lot longer than it was. In your case, with the one with like 15 paragraphs, you had several people all reacting to the same thing, so technically it was only 4-5 paragraphs long. Overall your paragraphs have been pretty easy to read, and it's all stuff that's happening currently. I'm talking a bit more about @DeepestApology.

@Treue Roleplay here if you enjoy writing at least a paragraph or two, character development, and some depth. Grammar and spelling are encouraged. Generally one paragraph (a few sentences) per post.

Sure there's no "hard max," but there's a general max. We're obviously way above the number of sentences per paragraph, but 10-20 paragraphs is, well, ridiculous. I joined a Casual RP, not just because I liked the story, setting and premise, but because it was Casual. I enjoy writing "at least a paragraph or two" and 4-5 paragraphs at the most (for high casual, anyway). Not only is 10+ paragraphs hard to keep up with, it makes me look (and feel) like I'm a lazy writer.
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A few suggestions to other writers, in regard to my journal/diary suggestion:

@DeepestApology In your (first post), you could turn the second paragraph into a journal entry. Not that your character needs to write in an actual journal; it could be memories or thoughts he's having, because it's mostly backstory.

@Section Your entire first and third paragraph could be journal entries. They're all history and memories, and you could remove both of them without having a significant impact on the current story. I personally think it'd help to have them in hider tags as either an entry or a memory/thought your character is having, because it makes it easier to catch up to your character if I or someone else need to go back and refresh what happened last time.

《Convalescence - A New World 》

@Gunther Adding a diary was actually mentioned in the CS template. I just decided to make it a frequent occurrence. It recaps the previous post, making it easier to follow: you don't have to flip back and reread the previous one. It also lets me fill in gaps and details so I can avoid frequent memories of people doing things.

On a semi related note, this is Casual. This is the first time I've ever said this: I'd appreciate it if people posted fewer paragraphs. Your writing is phenomenal, but this is Casual. You technically only need two or three per casual, and, while I appreciate the motivation to write more detailed and lengthier posts, it's making me try to think of filler content to bump up the word count, which is why I'm having problems with my most recent post: it's definitely too short, but I can't think of two whole extra paragraphs. Sure this is "high casual," but six to eight paragraphs is a little much. If nothing else, it's going to make P2P dialogue painfully dense.

You could if nothing else restrict inner monologues, memories, and/or recent events prior to the post (like Amie cleaning out another floor of the building) to the aforementioned diary/journal entries in hider tags, because right now they make it really hard to keep track of what is currently happening.

All I'm saying is, I can't keep up with 15 paragraphs, and that is not an exaggerated number.

MONUMENT.

Rated M for mature/triggering content, including language & violence

Whoops, didn't realize this was rated M. Didn't see it above the graphic. I'm not a fan of mature/triggering content, and since @Masque is willing to fill the leader slot, I'll withdraw. I can't RP a cocky/arrogant guy anyway.

《Convalescence - A New World 》

@iHxzardx I think it's kind of clear where Amie is, or at least where she's going. She's in Greater Duwamish, just to make it official. I'll add it into my most recent post. Check the map on page 4 of the OOC.

MONUMENT.

@Wobbles Personality and skill are not hereditary. It seems kind of hard to believe that one would have children that have the same skills and personality of their parents, especially to the point of restricting them from being anything else. Your child will not necessarily be a leader like you, nor will they be inclined to, but now they really don't have a choice.

Which is a great way to immediately segregate a new race of humans. Plus, there are only five people. They're going to have to repopulate the world. You immediately kill the point of different cultures when one of them has a child because the child would have to be two very different cultures at the same time.

Seems to me like the "classes" should be assumed and made more apparent over time. It'd make for better character development, because otherwise it could boil down to "I have the Leader markings so I am the leader," or "You have the Mind markings so why haven't you thought of a solution yet?"

MONUMENT.

I'm not sure I understand the facial markings either...it seems really distracting, trying to talk to someone who has face paint/marks, because face markings/paint convey a feeling or meaning, and you can't really tell what they're thinking/feeling.

Like, you say you want to help and you care, but your face markings say "warrior" so I have to look "through" the markings every time.

Maybe a mark on their hand or over their heart would be better. Seeing someone's face is crucial. It can indicate that someone is upset, lying, etc.

MONUMENT.

@Wobbles I assume the Five have retained their ability to read, speak and understand English?

MONUMENT.

This is Kriss, my character from a previous RP (that never even started). I'm posting it 1. Because I'm in bed and want to save a slot, and 2. It lists out his personality, strengths, weaknesses, biography and appearance. I'll edit it appropriately for this RP if you like him.

Kriss Mauser

Character Name: Kriss Mauser
Gender: Male
Age: 23
Height: 5'10"
Weight: 180 lbs of muscle
Race/Ethnicity: Caucasian/White
Appearance:
-Current:

Current

-In the Marines:

USMC

Besides the dog tags he never takes off, he wears a Loft Jacket (Snow Camouflage), black "USMC" shirt, Combat Pant LE01 (Snow Camouflage), and black waterproof trail boots. He has a pair of black nylon gloves and a half-mask if it gets cold and silver-tinted aviator sunglasses if it gets sunny. For more casual wear, he wears a blue fleece jacket, dark blue jeans (and the black USMC shirt, and the boots). He also wears a - Silver Falcon steel military wristwatch (specialopswatch.com/products-page/falc..), a gift from an officer who was friends with his father.

Loft Jacket: cryeprecision.com/ProductDetail/aprjl1..
Pant: cryeprecision.com/ProductDetail/aprcpq..

Personality: Disciplined, reliable, and polite, Kriss treats others with respect whether they deserve it or not. He is prepared to do the right thing, whatever it is, no matter how popular or unpopular it may be. He always has a goal, even if it's just "Make it through today alive." In the Marines, he was an active member of a team, but on his own he's a bit reserved, refusing to butt into conversations and leaving them immediately if they head in a direction he doesn't like. If you aren't already a friend, approach with caution. Friendly as he is, he is more than capable of silencing you (in more ways than one) if you seem like a threat. Please be nice.

Biography: Kriss's father, Günther Alexander Mauser, was a pilot in the TaktLwG33, or Tactical Air Force Wing 33, for twenty years. At age 40, he spent several months in America, where he met a registered nurse in the U.S. Army. Four years and one marriage later, Kristoffer Alexander Mauser was born. His father and mother brought the rigid, strict lifestyle into the home. As a result, Kriss more or less lived in his own version of boot camp. You were up on time, home on time, and asleep on time. No booze, no drugs, no cigarettes. His parents were saved Christians, so you went to church every week and dressed for it. It was a lifestyle that a majority of teenagers would kill to get out of, but it stuck to him.

He was an active participant in the JNROTC in high school, graduating and joining the US Marine Corps at age 18. He entered the Marine Aviation department (after the 28-week "Basic School," which was his home life on steroids and then some), following his father in aviation combat. He dedicated himself to Christ as well, and reads a pocket bible and prays as part of his daily schedule, which includes a detailed workout and diet routine. As a result, he is clear-minded and extremely muscular. Despite the stereotype, Kriss chose to live under the "terms and conditions" his parents set. He saw safety in having rules and a plan for your life, rather than hindrance, and it has consistently kept him out of trouble.

In the future, Kriss wants to join the "Black Knights" Fighter Attack Squadron. He has the Black Knights "VMFA-314" (the name of the squadron is VMFA-314) patch stitched onto the left sleeve of his loft jacket for inspiration.

Major In College: Kriss recently decided to go back and finish his education with a proper university degree. The Marines offer to pay 100% of student tuition expenses for remaining on active duty, so that's exactly what he did. As of now, Kriss is one year towards a degree in Civil Engineering, though that is subject to change.

Luggage:
- Clothing, casual and combat uniform
- Heavy flashlight
- Portable survival kit
- Ka-Bar knife
- Shirt-pocket KJV New Testament
- Small notebook and pencil for sketching and note-taking

Strengths:
-Body strength, speed, and endurance from the USMC boot camp.
-Kriss is a Green Belt in the MCMAP (Marine Corps Martial Art Program).

USMC Green Belt techniques

Intermediate Knife Techniques
Intermediate Weapon of Opportunity Techniques (Blocking)
Intermediate Ground Fighting w/ Arm Bars
Intermediate Bayonet Training
Intermediate Chokes (from the side)
Intermediate Throws (Shoulder)
Lower Body Strikes
Counters to Strikes
Unarmed Joint Manipulations w/ Enhanced Pain Compliance

-Knows basic survival skills and first aid.

Weaknesses:
-Risk-taker if a life is in danger.
-Average intelligence academically.
-If the group wants to do something fun but risky, he'll go, but only for defense, so he won't be much fun to be around.