Nephriel

The Ties that Bind

Kat let out a small hiss of pleasure as his fangs and tongue caressed her fingers, briefly she wondered what else he could do with that mouth. She gasped and then laughed softly when he bucked his hips underneath her suggestively. "Oh, we are... What kind of wife would I be if I didn't take care of my husband?"

She smiled as he stole a grape and when he slipped it into her mouth she nipped his finger before sucking it lightly. Yes, she could be dirty when she wanted to. Not all of Kat was as prim and proper as she'd like people to believe, just the mask.

She leaned in and kissed him heatedly, running her hands up his chest and moving her hips against his... just enough to cause friction. "I'll try not to wear you out," she teased....

~FTB~

A while later, Kat lay half on top of Rae... one leg thrown over his hips as her fingers drew patterns playfully on his chest. "So, that question you asked me... Kids. I told you eventually... You never told me whether YOU wanted them."

She laughed softly when she glanced up and saw how messy his hair was again and ran her hand over to smooth it down. "Also, as much as I'd love to make sure neither of us could move out of this bed today... I could use a feeder and I'm sure you could too."

She stretched against him, brushing her body teasingly against his.

The Ties that Bind

When Gunner came over and slipped an arm around her she smiled before he sat down with her. When he handed her her water bottle Anna took it gratefully and gulped probably half the bottle down, a drop escaping the corner of her mouth. "Thanks," she glanced at how much she'd drank and offered it back looking sheepish. "I didn't realize I was that thirsty..."

As he asked her about what she was planning to brag over she thought of the easiest way to break the news to him that she'd been training with someone he REALLY wouldn't be happy over her training with. "I've been practicing resisting compulsion with a spirit user for a couple days now... I finally managed it, Gun... Fifteen minutes, that has to be a record right? He gave up before me... though to be honest I... I kinda feel like I need to pass out and my-my head is kinda killing me... and sometimes I see spots..." She held up a hand, "BUT! I did it... Can I have the rest of your water?"

Her words came out fast, stumbling... unfocused and if she was being honest she was pretty sure that she was going to go basically comatose when she finally fell asleep. "I think I pushed it too hard... but I wanted to know how much I could take..." She leaned her head back against the wall, feeling dizzy again. She knew Gunner would put two and two together... He'd know she'd been training her ass off in the gym because he was here 9/10 times and to admit she'd also been pushing herself with this too wouldn't make him happy but even he would see how being able to resist compulsion would make her feel less vulnerable... and how much it attention it would gain her by the other elites. Resisting compulsion was a big deal, it usually took years to learn because why would you actively track down a strigoi and see if you got your ass killed trying? She was lucky enough to have Jace around and owing her favors.

~*~

Seb chuckled, "I love you too... I'll try not to over do it so much. I just worry..."

As she told him the names, Seb grinned. "I like them... and I hope they're like you because if they take after me we're going to have our hands full."

The Ties that Bind

Kat had been awake for a while, she'd also been sketching the vase of flowers across the room. The way the sunlight filtered through the glass had been pretty... but maybe that was the artist in her talking. By the time Rae woke up, Kat's fingers were covered in charcoal and she'd already ordered breakfast, it was setting on the table across the room. Kat smiled when she noticed how messy his hair was and when he snatched her sketch book she huffed at him until he started kissing along her neck.

"You KNOW what that does to me Rae," she laughed.

When he propositioned her she tipped her head to the side, allowing him further access as she used the nails of one of her hands to run lightly along his back... teasingly.

"Hmmm... who am I to deny my future hubby." She smiled, "You might want to let me wash my hands first though." She wiggled her dirty fingers and then slipped from the bed. The gown she was wearing was see-through and low cut even though it reached her ankles. She scrubbed her hands then plucked a batch of grapes from their breakfast tray before slipping onto the bed again... straddling his hips after she lifted her hem enough to do so.

She plucked a grape, bit half of it off, then slid the remaining portion along his bottom lip... effectively coating it with the juice. "Open," she urged. "I hear exercise on an empty stomach is unhealthy," she winked.

The Ties that Bind

Anna smiled, "Whatever you wanna do Serena, it'll be your day." She walked in and gave her friend a hug now that the spots in her vision were fading and then slipped out of the room. She still needed to find Gunner. When she entered the Gym she found Gunner under a dog-pile of other Guardians and could hear him laughing. She smiled and leaned against the wall, waiting for him to be able to extract himself.

"I'd usually jump on a chance to kick Mark's ass but it looks like you guys have it under control."

She heard a laugh or two in response as they began righting themselves. Anna smiled, "Hey Pretty Boy, I want to talk to you."

It had been forever since she'd used the term she used to tease him with but she was in a great mood. One of the other Guardians chuckled, "Pretty boy, huh? Now I've heard it all, Marks."

Anna smiled, "Nah, I've got loads more where that came from... but I need to be able to stand without wanting to fall over first."

The guy laughed and grabbed his towel and Anna turned her attention back to Gunner with a smile, "I came to brag," she explained.

~*~

Seb watched Anna go and sighed, raking a hand through his hair. "I'm smothering you aren't I?" He hadn't really realized it till he'd watched Anna and Serena's back and forth but now that he thought about it... He'd made it a point to be with Serena as much as he possibly could and might have been... overwhelming. Okay, he knew he was. He laughed a little, "How about this... You go jump into the bath I made you, grab your ipod and lounge a bit. In the meantime I'll clean up in here and let some fresh air in. I know you're probably feeling cooped up."

He kissed her lightly, "I'm over-doing it, I know... I'm just not sure how much is too much."

He swatted her with a pillow nearby, "Ignore my presence, I'll be pretending to be invisible," he teased.

Honestly, he was excited, nervous, terrified, and happy and it was making him crazy. He could only imagine how Serena felt...

"Have you thought of any names yet?"

The Ties that Bind

A couple days passed, and Seb broke it to Gunner and Anna that he'd have to go to court with Serena. Anna had agreed to come along without hesitation but Seb understood it was more difficult for Gunner. He'd been placed at the Academy for a reason and that reason was a good one. Seb was happy to see that Gunner and Anna were no longer completely avoiding one another and actually were bothering to speak again but it was still strained... Two years away from each other and a drastic change in one of them was creating a difficult bridge to cross.

Anna had been in the gym more and more lately, pushing herself to the limit when she trained. She knew Gunner was right, she knew that most Dhampirs had the same past history and that it shouldn't get to her... She felt stupid, she knew what their world was like. Either you were tough and you got over your daddy issues or you got stuck in the commune in a never ending pity party. She knew Jace was in her past, Serena had suffered a lot worse than she had and moved on... Anna decided she needed closure, she needed to prove to herself that she COULD be strong. So, without telling any of her friends about it she'd sought out Jace. He'd been surprised by her request but it seemed like he was genuinely regretful for what had happened between she and Rae... He'd changed. She'd seen the way he fawned over his Guardian and though she brushed him off quite often he was like a puppy who couldn't help chasing after her... It was obvious how he felt and despite how flustered the redheaded girl seemed by his advances... it wasn't hard to see she felt the same.

So, she and Jace started practicing... He'd compel her and she'd fight it. It had only been three days but she'd already gotten the hang of erecting the mental wall... it was just keeping it in place when Jace amped it up a notch that was difficult. With her pushing herself so hard in her physical training and driving herself full force at her mental prep, she'd had very little time or energy for anything else. However, she'd made a point to practice with Gunner once or twice. They hadn't sparred like they used to but he ran her through some moves he'd learned and helped her on her technique. Today though, was a day to celebrate.

She'd managed to hold her walls up against Jace for over fifteen minutes. Granted, she'd gotten a splitting headache, was extremely dizzy, exhausted, kind of nauseous, and her vision was dancing with spots at the moment but she'd managed. He'd left a few minutes ago to head to the feeders, apparently she'd worn him out too. She ran a hand through her hair with a triumphant smile... She was going to tell Gunner what she was up to, what she'd accomplished, and she was going to invite him to a movie like they used to do... Not a date, no romance implied, but just as friends. Right now, Gunner was right... Anna couldn't handle a relationship and Gunner deserved her the way she used to be.

She leaned against Seb and Serena's door a moment, letting the spots die down, before knocking...

~*~

Seb had been busy trying to talk a sick, semi-grouchy Serena into letting him give her a bath... No, she wasn't anywhere close to big enough to need him to do that but he'd wanted to do something to help her feel better... So, he'd ran her a hot bubble bath and lit some candles... He'd ordered her some grapes, a sliced orange, and a banana nut muffin from the cafeteria along with some red wine... The nurse had said that a glass on occasion would actually be good for her and help prevent some of the issues that came along with pregnancy. However, getting Serena to relax for him long enough to let him pamper her was a chore sometimes.

Before he could push further there was a knock on the door and he sighed before casting Serena a look that said, 'you aren't getting out of this yet', and then answered it.

It was Anna, and she looked kind of like hell. She was pale, shaky, and looked like she might pass out at any minute but she also was grinning ear to ear and her aura was brighter than he'd seen it in a while. "Anna, what the hell happened to you? You look like hell..."

Anna waved him off, "I'm fine... just a little dizzy. Have you seen Gunner? I wanted to brag about something and I can't find him... What good is he if I can't rub some of my success in?"

He smiled, Anna was sounding a bit more like Anna today. "I'm not sure, have you tried the gym?"

"Not yet..." She poked her head past Seb and waved, "Hey Serena... What do you think of a girls night tomorrow? Just me and you? I know we talked about it but maybe now we can actually hang out a little. We'll see about getting you some you time."

She NEEDED to talk to a girl, especially Serena. She had a feeling the other Guardian would understand her emotions better than nearly anyone could and because of that, Anna felt like her advice could do her a lot of good right now... Also, she just really needed to spend some time with her friend and she knew how overbearing Seb had been lately... A little too over protective and super set on pampering Serena. Anna was sure it was nice sometimes but she could imagine being treated like she was going to break on a regular basis and Seb's over doing gifts and everything else was probably flustering the ever loving crap out of the italian girl.

The Ties that Bind

When he kissed her, Anna's head spun and she kissed him back... feeling some of the strain she'd been under slip away. Though his words hurt, Gunner was right... Anna had been down on herself for a long time. She wasn't really sure when it had started... Actually, yes she was. When she let herself be compelled by Jace for so long... When she let herself fall into becoming his own personal blood bag... When she'd LIKED it. She'd known that the response to the bite wasn't something she could have controlled, she'd talked about it with Serena enough to know what addiction did to a person... It had torn Serena down but she'd fought her way back up... Anna couldn't help but feel that maybe Serena was stronger than her in that way. She'd had it much worse and she'd moved past the shame, Anna was still stuck on self-pity.

Then, she'd started getting better... thanks to Gunner... until she visited her mother. Anna, after that, had felt... dirty. She'd felt ashamed of HERSELF and maybe that's why she'd really run from Gunner. She didn't want him finding out... didn't feel like she deserved to be happy when all along her mother's drinking and blood whoring was... in a way... her fault. Her mother hadn't told her to hurt her, she'd told her as a cautionary tale when she'd seen the scar on Anna's neck. How would she have known how much the knowledge would affect her daughter... her usually strong tough daughter.... Anna was ashamed of breaking even further.

She took a breath, "I'm so sorry Gunner..." She was. She'd only been thinking about herself and here Gunner had been, running about with the knowledge that his mother had been found... a mother that had been turned Strigoi and that he'd planned to kill. "I should have been there for you... but you're right. I... I had something, have something, I've been trying to deal with. I know it's stupid..."

She shook her head and sighed, "I start to get better and then I make the wrong decisions all over again and I end up right back where I started... After Jace, everything went to hell. You were the only thing that helped and then... I went back to the commune."

Gunner had told her about his mother, it was her turn to tell him the truth. "Apparently, I'm a product of rape. My mother saw my scar and finally decided to tell me about my father as a way to warn me away from Moroi men... Let's just say... it wasn't a pretty story. He used her, then when she got pregnant he dropped her in a commune with nothing and took off. I felt dirty... I remembered all the times my mom went to bed crying when I was young or woke up with nightmares... I feel like I break everything I touch. Hell, I'm terrified to hug Serena."

She shrugged, "I don't know Gun... Somewhere along the way, I lost me... and I don't know how to get back. I'm so tired of being scared... I used to be so happy... I felt strong... you made me feel strong. I've been telling myself to suck it up but it's just not happening. I actually..." she sighed. "I actually talked to one of the nurses after our last falling out... about all of this... apparently I'm suffering from some stupid shit called post-traumatic stress something or other... basically just means I'm stuck on stupid over the shit with Jace and the news from my mom..." She laughed, "I always thought Seb was the one we'd have to watch out for... Now I'm the one with nightmares and panic attacks and... yeah."

She glanced at him, she felt like even though they'd gotten past he hate... she'd still lost him somehow. She knew better than to think everything would just suddenly be okay again. It would take time... but to be honest... She wasn't sure she'd ever be the way she was, didn't think she could fix herself or be the Anna he'd once loved... She knew she wasn't the same... The fact was that if he waited for her to be whole... she had no idea if that would ever happen. She didn't think they'd ever be the way they were...

"I'll do my best not to keep screwing up," she smiled tiredly. "Lets see if we can get out of here..."

The Ties that Bind

Seb did his best to explain everything to Serena but she was looking at him like he had two heads. He blinked when she kissed him and then noted something he hadn't thought through... and face-palmed. "Shit..." He sighed, "Why do you let me make plans? I always mess up the plans."

He rubbed the back of his neck, "I hope they don't kill each other in there... the clean-up would take weeks," he joked. He wrapped an arm around her, "Trust me, love... I can see their auras, they still love each other but Anna is terrified of facing Gunner. She'd have run at the first opportunity. Granted, maybe melting the door wasn't such a great idea..." He smiled sheepishly, "It seemed like a good idea at the time... but maybe I just liked the idea of torturing them both a little after all the stress they put us through."

He hugged her against his side and then took a seat on a bench before pulling her into his lap. He rested his head against her back and placed a hand on her belly. "Now, I guess we wait it out... We might have to replace the door afterwards, but it's for a worthy cause... right?"

He sighed, "Serena, my parents finally contacted me... They want me at court in three weeks when the school goes on break. I don't want you there alone, without Anna and Gunner... It's the real reason I forced them together. I'm afraid of what my parents will do when they find out you're pregnant... more specifically... my father. I don't want him getting at you... getting in your head... and I don't put it past him to send someone at you... I don't want to scare you, but you deserve to know the truth. I wouldn't go but... he's using the Queen against me. She wants to see me before I'm officially 'Prince'."

~*~

Anna stopped crying out of sheer shock, her eyes blinked her confusion, and she struggled between astonishment and being uncertain if she should feel hurt or relieved as he laughed... However, at his words a wavering smile made it to her lips... She couldn't help it. When he wiped her tears away she closed her eyes a moment, savoring his touch... It was pathetic really, but she loved him and she couldn't help that... and it had been so long since he'd even spoken to her... much less touched her.

His words eased something inside her. So, he did care? He didn't hate her? She suddenly felt like she'd been extremely over dramatic, she felt foolish. "Sorry... for freaking out..."

As he explained his feelings over the past while she flinched at the bit about her not being there for him, that he'd needed her. She felt both pleased to hear he needed her and heart-achingly guilty for not being there for him... but now... now maybe he'd let her explain? It all felt so stupid in retrospect, she always got too into her head when it came to Gunner... too tied up in her emotions. He was the only one who made her feel absolutely safe and absolutely terrified all at once.

She felt her heart ache when he basically admitted he'd missed her, that it had been killing him too to be away. She took a breath, "I'm sorry... It's not worth much now but... I wanted to be there, I just felt like it would be harder for you to move on if you saw me and..." She shook her head, "Let me back up..."

"Right before we went to the Elites... my mom asked me to visit. You remember? It was break at the Academy and the Elites training wouldn't start for another week so you went ahead with them and I went to see my family..." She rubbed the back of her neck, "While I was there, the topic of my father came up. I found out... I found out some things I wish she hadn't told me." She gave Gunner a sad smile, "I came to the Elites in a bad mindset to begin with, you were the only thing that pushed me through it..."

She shook her head, "Then, training kicked off and we were both so busy. They had us separated a lot, and some things that were said made me aware that they were doing it on purpose..." She sighed, "I thought I was paranoid at first but the way the vets took to you... and they kept closing me out... putting us on different shifts. Then, I overheard one call me a distraction... and how sad it was to waste your talent. I mean, I get it... things were a lot stricter when they started out... I knew there would be people who wouldn't approve. I tried not to let it get to me, I trained harder and I didn't want to worry you so... I never said anything. You were doing so well, you had them all so impressed."

She reached out to touch his hair then dropped her hand to her leg, "I was proud of you... I didn't want the vets to think less of you because of me. I saw how happy you were, how well you were doing... You were spreading yourself so thin between training, missions, and trying to spend time with me... You were so tired and I felt guilty for making you spend time with me when you should have been resting. So, I thought I'd take a temporary ward. It would give you time to shine, time to focus, without me there to hold you back. Plus, I was scared... I was scared that if you found out the vets disapproved..." She sighed, "I thought you might want us to end... I know how important being a Guardian was to you... I thought..." She let out a dry laugh, "It's stupid..." She sighed, "I didn't have any intention of leaving like I did... Not till you told me you were taking a ward... that you were leaving..."

She bit her lip, "I thought... you were leaving because you needed space. I thought you were trying to get away from me... I freaked out... and I ran." She shook her head, "It was stupid, I know it was... but I couldn't take the idea of you not wanting me anymore. I should have let you explain... When you wrote me to invite me around, I knew I'd messed up... I didn't come at first because I was ashamed, then I didn't come because it had been so long, and then... I just figured you'd given up."

She gave in and brushed her fingers through his hair, "I've tried forgetting you... I messed up so bad... and then when I saw you here... It was selfish but... I remembered how we were... and I missed that... I still miss that... I still love you."

~*~

As he spoke about Guardians she scoffed, "You should really learn to stay away from the Guardians, your family jewels will thank you. Besides, if you want someone a little wild between the sheets... Keep in mind, you haven't managed to get between mine just yet." She winked at him, it was true. They hadn't yet slept together but it wasn't for lack of trying, they'd just had yet to have the chance. Getting their assets in order as a couple was something Kat took seriously and between that, student with questions, and their parents constantly checking to see how their 'budding romance' was going... Well, something always happened at the most inopportune time. They'd tried and been interrupted on multiple occasions. "Now that your extracurricular activities have been reduced," she teased. "Maybe we can fix that soon."

Kat giggled at him when he complained about her teasing and when he rolled into the bed with her she glanced at him out of the corner of her eye. She smiled at his offer, he knew how to please her... part of his appeal. He'd give her anything she wanted so long as she gave him his freedom... He was charming that way and she suspected that underneath the playboy he actually DID have a heart since he went out of his way to treat his conquests well. Still, the offer endeared her to him in a way and she brushed a kiss along his brow.

"You're trouble, Mr. Costa..." she smiled. She knew he'd steal her heart if she let him. "Good thing I need a little danger in my life. Court is so boring..."

The Ties that Bind

She smiled as she took a seat on the bed as he took care of himself and laughed softly, "Perhaps next time I might advise you don't go for a Guardian? There are plenty of communes and clubs to choose from. You're less likely to suffer injury that way."

Kat would be lying if she said she hadn't fantasized about a man who would want only her, whom she would be the world to... but that was on her own time... her private time. Those were for the moments she could be herself and let go of the act but even then she knew they were just silly dreams. No couple ever worked the way they did in her books, no relationship was truly exclusive in a world of privilege. So, she took comfort in knowing that she and Rae could at least get along and have a good time together. She wasn't marrying someone she'd have to tolerate for the rest of her life, she enjoyed Rae's company... and she knew what to expect from him.

"So, learned your lesson about baiting Guardian girls yet," she teased him. "That bag of ice is hogging all my fun," she winked. "If this becomes a regular thing I might begin to feel neglected." She stretched like a cat and mussed his hair as he sat on he floor, then she rolled to her stomach and broke out her sketchpad. Rae's profile was as close to perfect as they came... and she'd take the distraction to get it on paper.

~*~

Seb laughed softly and tossed Serena a wink, "Anything for you, love."

He headed out the door and checked out Anna's usual spots. Still, it took him about fifteen minutes to find her and even from halfway across the track he could read something wrong in her aura... It was... Well, the closest he could describe it was a roiling thick storm cloud.... one that looked on the verge of a very nasty storm to say the least. He hesitated before calling out to her as she neared, "Anna!"

She didn't answer and she wasn't wearing her usual training clothes, she was in street clothes and the hair that had escaped her braid clung to her face... she was covered in sweat and face was flushed. Seb had no idea how long she'd been running like this but he had a feeling it had been too long. As she came close to passing him, he caught her arm and she yanked it easily away... anger flashing before she realized who it was. The anger faded, replaced by fear. "Seb, is something wrong with Serena? I'm sorry, my phone was turned off and I-"

"No, she's fine Anna... but we need to talk."

The life faded from her eyes again and she shook her head, "Busy Seb..."

She started to take off again and again he caught her arm, "Anna, what's wrong with you?"

She looked back at him, shrugged, "Nothing... I'm fine. You shouldn't keep Serena waiting."

He narrowed his eyes, "Ross, I'm not playing. Either you stop trying to run away from me or I'm GOING to compel you."

She went still, defiance flashing for a moment before it gave way to annoyed defeat. She wished she had a towel, suddenly the sweat on her skin felt cold... "What, Seb? I'm not really in the mood to talk right now, I want to train and focus on the shit that's important."

Seb frowned, "And your friends aren't important?"

She flinched, and that seemed to snap her out of it. She sank to the bench and placed her head in hands, "Shit Seb, I'm sorry... that isn't what I meant..."

Suddenly, she just really really wanted to cry and her body felt more sore than it had in ages... Probably because she'd been running nonstop for the past 30 or so minutes... probably more... she didn't know. What time was it? She felt sick, her hands were shaking, and other than the flush in her cheeks she was pale... "I've just had a really shitty... Well, a really shitty fucking year... several years." She shook her head, "Whose fault is that right?"

Seb sat down beside her, "It's not ALL on you Anna."

She laughed, "No just the majority... and Rae? What was I thinking? That boy is a fucking snake in the grass, I knew that... I just..."

Seb felt his spirits fall, "You found out?"

Anna looked up and gave a bitter smile, "Figures you'd know first..."

"I only just found out myself Anna, I mean... I suspected but I've never liked Rae. He seemed to... care for you in his own way."

She snorted, "If you mean he wanted in my pants... then sure."

"Did you-"

"No... I couldn't."

They sat in silence for a moment, "Come back to the room with me? We need to talk... Serena would be glad to see you." He decided to omit the fact Gunner would be there. There was no way in hell he'd be able to drag her there like this if she knew. He'd have to compel her to oblivion and he REALLY didn't like to use that on his friends... never really had.

"Fine... I could use some girl time..." She went to stand and her knees nearly gave out, she cursed. "Guess I went at it a little to hard... I'm going to be sore tomorrow."

Seb smiled, "Come on..."

~*~

Back at the room Seb opened the door and practically pushed Anna in first so he could get between her and the door in case she tried to bolt. She was on the edge... He knew it... but honestly she needed to let it out. The minute she laid eyes on Gunner, she froze solid and then immediately turned her eyes away before going to Serena.

"Hey..." She hugged her friend lightly, always terrified she was going to hurt the baby somehow, and let her go. "You smell like oranges, I guess that means you've been eating? Seb should have mentioned you had company," she shot him a look that could have killed. After what she'd just told him she couldn't believe she'd been tricked into a room with the one person that could send her off the ledge she was currently teetering on.

Seb rubbed the back of his neck and moved to Serena, "Let's get you some air..."

Anna shot him a look again, this one full of wide eyed accusation that said 'you are leaving me here with him?' He felt more than a little guilty but this was the only way he'd get Anna in a room with Gunner any time soon and if that meant she'd murder him later...

He wrapped his arms around Serena's shoulders, "I'll explain... For now, lets see if I can get one of the other Guards to walk with us? You could use the air anyway. It's been... three days?"

He guided her out the door after giving her time to speak to Anna and to get her footing. He kept a hawk eye on her aura this time, he wasn't letting her fall again and though they'd walked since then he still was leary to go far.

They hadn't gotten far when he spotted a fire Moroi student passing by and thought of a way to make sure the two would work it out... A way that would probably get his ass beat by both his friends and his wife... but hey... How else were they going to work this out if they kept running from each other?

~*~

Anna watched them go and felt trapped, obviously this was supposed to be some kind of intervention and she really didn't need this in her life right now... Gunner didn't want to be around her, her heart couldn't take anymore rejection, and she was THIS close to breaking down and burying herself under her sheets till the year ended. Yeah, drama queen... but it's how she felt. If he shoved her away again, pushed her further, she was GOING to BREAK... and it sucked... It sucked to be terrified around your BEST friend. It BLEW to know she couldn't collapse into him and cry it out... that she wouldn't ever feel those arms around her again... That he'd never want to hold her or tease her or even talk to her again...

Her eyes suddenly stung with tears, "Know what... this is screwed up. I'm sorry, I didn't know you were here. I already know about Rae, so whatever speech they forced you in here to make... You don't need to. It's over, I should have known better, the end. Sorry they made you come here." She turned on her heel and grabbed the door knob and immediately let loose a string of expletives that could have made a sailor blush. "Shit, fuck, damn!!!!"

She yanked her now reddened, semi-raw hand back and shook it... gaping at the door. Had Seb REALLY just melted the door knob and lock all just to make sure she was stuck here with Gunner? Her heart rate sky-rocketed and the trapped feeling she felt earlier was nowhere near the anxiety that tore through her now. Out of desperation, she kicked the door savagely, thought she heard something splinter but wasn't sure if it was the door or her toe... She collapsed defeatedly into the chair by the door and buried her head in her hands.

"Fine... whatever..." She sat there for a moment but was afraid that when he spoke he'd blame her for what their friends were doing... Think she'd planned it to get him stuck alone with her so she could force her woes on him. She wasn't going to do that... She'd done enough to him. Still, she couldn't stay quiet either... She didn't want to give him a chance to be angry with her, she couldn't take it right now.

So, by way of placating him and keeping him from being able to yell at her or blame her for this she did what she always did when she was nervous... She rambled.

"I know I fucked up so if that's what you want to say you're wasting your time... I KNOW I fucked up. I've went over and over it in my head, wished I could go back and I tried... I tried to fix it..." She choked up a little remembering him telling her to stay away and her breathing hitched, "I WANTED to fix it... I can't fix it..." She yanked the bow from her hair, jerking her fingers through the braid to pull it out... anything to keep her shaking hands busy.

When she spoke again her voice broke, "I get it, you don't want me anymore... You hate me... whatever..." She shook her head miserably, "I told Seb you didn't want to hear any of this... I told him not to push... I swear I didn't do this." She took a shaking breath, "Just... get me out of this room... please? You don't have to say you hate me... I know you do... I know I broke us... I know you want nothing to do with me..."

The calm facade she'd been trying to play broke, and her eyes became pleading. "Just get me out of this room and you won't have to deal with me again... just please... you don't have to say it. I don't want you to..." She knew she was going to break down soon, everything she'd bottled up over Rae and him was threatening to force it's way to the forefront of her emotions and she didn't WANT Gunner to see that.

"I can't deal with hearing you say it right now even if I deserve it," she whispered. Her voice wavered and cut off and the tears she'd been fighting finally escaped. She tried to wipe them away, turned her head so he wouldn't see them. Gunner knew she HATED to cry, she rarely EVER cried... more lately than usual but it was still something she almost NEVER did. She despised herself for it, could feel the storm threatening to overwhelm her. "I need out of here...." Her breathing was semi-frantic, she didn't feel like she was breathing at all... couldn't catch her breath... She recognized the side effects of an anxiety attack and she'd never thought herself one for claustrophobia but now she was most definitely having that issue. She looked up at him, eyes full of carefully guarded fear...

"Gunner, say SOMETHING..." she knew she'd been rambling but his silence was driving her crazy and even though she was terrified of what he'd say... he had to say SOMETHING or she was going to go over the edge anyway.

~*~

Sebastian looked guiltily at the melted door knob he'd had the kid practically weld. However, he'd known Anna's first instinct would be to run and she couldn't KEEP running... She'd never face the issue that way and Gunner would never get the truth out of her now that he wanted to know. He glanced at Serena, "I'm an asshole..."

The Ties that Bind

Seb shook his head, "It's not that you're the bad guy Gunner..." He rested his hand on his friend's shoulder, "I know Anna is hard headed, I'm just saying you're both too hard headed for your own good." He listened as he talked about his mother, "Shit... Gunner, I'm sorry. You could have talked to us about it... We're here as much for you as for Anna."

He laughed dryly, "I'm not saying we can't tell her, I'm just saying... she's going to need you when she finds out."

He ran a hand through his hair, "I need to find Anna, let her know what's going on..."

~*~

Kat laughed softly, "Don't worry love, there's no need to be jealous," she teased. "I've just seen him around. He's seems to be interested in my coming and goings..." She grinned and kissed him, nipping his lip playfully, "Then again... Maybe you should worry. He is pretty intense... for a Dhampir."

She pushed the drawing aside and crawled into Rae's lap to engage in a rather long and heated make-out session... but was interrupted when someone knocked at the door. She sighed, "Maybe room service, I ordered a bottle of wine... your card. Hope you don't mind," she winked. As she opened the door though she came face to face with a Dhampir female... and the woman's face went from shock to anger.

~*~

Anna had made a split second decision to find out what was wrong, she couldn't take it... Something felt off and with how Rae had been acting lately... She had a bad feeling. When she got to the room she hesitated a moment or two before knocking. She'd never went to Rae's room... they'd always went out somewhere together. However, when the door swung open Anna wasn't expecting to see an angelically beautiful Moroi woman. Her lipstick was slightly smeared, her hair slightly messy, it wasn't hard to guess what had been going on before she answered the door. Anna felt a moment of pain before anger settled in.

The woman was smart, she didn't bother to stand in Anna's way. She moved, a look of curiosity on her face. Anna went over to Rae, yanked him to his feet by his pretty collar, and kneed him in the groin. Then, she dropped him like he'd burned her. "Oh, I'm sorry Mr. Costa... I thought I saw a vermin run into your room and then directly up your pants... Easy mistake. We Guardians can never be too careful." She brushed his shirt off where she'd wrinkled his lapels. "Have a nice day..."

Anna stormed out, the whole time she'd been in there she'd remained surprisingly calm... but the minute she was out of view she realized her hands were shaking and that she felt like she was going to pass out... She needed to set down, NOW. She was pretty sure she might be having some kind of anxiety attack... or maybe she was in shock... she wasn't sure.... It SHOULDNT be a shock, it shouldn't hurt, but it was... and it did. Anna made it outside and too a bench where she seated herself by half collapsing into the thing. Her legs felt weak. She couldn't believe she'd trusted him, couldn't believe she'd made the mistake of actually believing he was a good person.... couldn't believe she'd thought he'd actually cared. Her chest constricted, she pinched the bridge of her nose and took ragged breaths... Then, unable to stand it anymore, she felt something snap. She stood up and ran.... The track was at least a mile long.... She ran it... and ran it... and ran it.. Not once did she shed a single tear.... She was numb.

~*~

Kat arched a brow as the Dhampir walked out of the room and sighed before shutting the door. She shook her head, going into the freezer part of the fridge and finding a bad of peas... She passed it to him, "These are the reasons you should really tell me if you want to play with Dhampirs." Obviously, she was less than bothered by it. She'd been raised intelligently... Moroi men played with Dhampirs on occasion, sometimes Moroi women did the same... but in the end Moroi belonged with Moroi. Though Kat loved romance novels she didn't believe in love... it was fiction, not reality.... In the political world at least.

The Ties that Bind

Seb blinked as Gunner stormed in, he and Serena had been discussing what she'd like to eat... what she thought she might be able to keep down, when he'd burst inside. His rant kept Seb quiet and though he tried to hide it... mildly amused. Finally, something shook his friend up. "It almost sounds like you still care, Gunner." He sighed and ran a hand through his hair, "I'd be more than happy to punch him in that pretty boy face of his but... before I do maybe you should consider the consequences..." He shook his head, "Anna hasn't been herself lately, what do you think finding out about this is going to do to her? Serena and I are always here for her, but we've been here for her this whole time and it's barely helped..."

Seb decided he'd better say what needed to be said now, "She needs you Gunner, she wanted to make things right with you the minute she realized you were here at the school but she didn't think you'd forgive her... or that she deserved to be forgiven. I did talk her into seeing you, but only because she was afraid... She still loves you. I'm not saying what she did wasn't stupid or selfish, I'm not making excuses... but when she falls this time there isn't going to be anyone there to catch her... Do you really want that?"

~*~

Over the next month Anna noticed a change in Rae. He came to pick her up less often, he was late texting her back, they stayed out for shorter amounts of time... He didn't take her to the places he had before and often seemed distracted. Anna wasn't sure what was going on but she felt like it was her own fault. Maybe if she hadn't taken so long to be with him physically, maybe if she'd not been so tied up still with Gunner he wouldn't be losing interest... Maybe if she hadn't screwed things up with Gunner in the first place she wouldn't be trying to make things work with a guy who she wasn't even sure could ever make her feel the way Gunner had. Anna spent more and more of her time picking up shifts, training with other Dhampirs, and taking out her frustrations on dummies in the gym or by running herself ragged on he track when she wasn't helping look after Serena.

She tried to keep her emotions in check around her friends, Seb could see it and any worry could make his darkness worse and that could then, in turn, bleed onto Serena. She'd tried to stay focused, in her time with them, on the idea that soon she might have a baby around to cuddle and squeeze... though it wouldn't be hers it would be as close to hers as she'd ever get the way things were looking.

Currently, Anna was in the gym... beating the crap out of her fellow Dhampir Guardians as she tried focusing on honing her technique instead of the aching feeling that something was wrong. Rae hadn't called tonight and even though they'd been spending less time together he'd never failed to at least drop her a call or at least a text once class was done. Anna ducked a swing from one of her sparring buddies, caught his arm, and spun under him before standing, yanking his arm up behind him before kicking him in the ass and into one of his buddies. She wasn't as good as Gunner, but she could hold her own against these three... They were new, relatively untested, and they hadn't been expecting her to be quite so fast... or so skilled. Then again, she'd trained with Gunner for a long time... She missed it. Hell, she missed him... more than she could say.

There were still nights where she went to sleep, curled up wearing the shirt she'd stolen from him on their first night together... clinging to one of her pillows to make herself feel like she wasn't alone. It was one of his favorites and though it didn't smell like him anymore, it was as close as she could come to the man she still loved... and it was pathetic. She'd tried throwing it away for the past month and every time she tried she ended up setting in the small kitchen area of her room and feeling like she wanted to cry her eyes out... How stupid could she get? Eventually, she HAD managed to fold it up and put it away in the very back of one of her drawers and she hadn't pulled it out since... but it was still there... No one would EVER know how desperate she'd become, she hated herself for the weakness.

Anna called it quits half-way through the training session... She'd still gotten no text and she was beginning to wonder why. She grabbed a towl, hung it around her neck after drying off, and headed down the hall. Originally, she'd planned to head back to her own room... She never went to Rae's room to see him, it drew too much attention to their relationship, but she just couldn't shake the feeling that something was off. She cleaned up, put on a pair of tattered faded jeans and a t-shirt and braided her hair, before shaking her head. She put on a little lip-gloss and a bit of eyeshadow before rolling her eyes at herself in the mirror... She still looked nowhere close to anything other than a Guardian. With a sigh, she gave up and glanced at her phone again... Still nothing.

~*~

Kat moved down the hall, reapplying her lip-gloss as she did so before heading towards Rae's room. They'd planned to meet there after he stopped by the feeders as Kat had already fed. Once there she took a seat on his bed to wait for him, pulling her hair down from it's usual bun and shaking it out about her shoulders. She kicked off her shoes and took out her sketch-book. She had quite a few drawings inside, one in particular she adored. She'd been setting in the cafeteria, eating, when she'd noticed a Dhampir Guardian standing Guard only a few feet away, his eyes locked on something behind her. It had taken only a second to spot the Dhampir girl, her hair pulled into a ponytail with strands falling into her face, staring intently at her food... Her eyes flashing up every now and again to land on the Guardian who, had by then glanced away... but only till he was sure she wasn't watching.

She'd taken the opportunity to copy down his intense features, the way his eyes had been so full of longing... Oddly enough, she thought she'd seen him following her on occasion but she couldn't be sure because she'd been too distracted by Rae and not getting wound up in his game. He was a clever player, she'd give him that. He was charming and easy going and it was hard not to like him, to get caught up in his confidence, but she knew the danger there... Sooner or later she'd have to set the ground rules, but for now... she was having too much fun. Still, she wondered if Rae would ever look at HER the way that Guardian had looked at that Dhampir girl... She sighed enviously.