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9 yrs ago
Current Dreams are just a reality away from memories.
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I see you like stalking too eh? Just know that while you're reading this, I'm reading all your posts from 5 months ago and silently judging your taste. Ha Ha. Or not.

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Siena Santana





Sander Lorraine | Marcus Howell



π•Šπ•–π•‘π•₯. 𝟟, 𝟚𝟘𝟚𝟘 / / π•Œπ•Šπ”Έβ„π•€π•ƒβ„• 𝔼𝕒𝕀π•₯ / / π”Ύπ•£π• π•¦π•Ÿπ•• ℀𝕖𝕣𝕠 / / πŸ™πŸžπŸœπŸ‘

Collab with @Baklava @RedDusk @Chasers115 @PapiTan


Marcus slowly made his way down the ladder, as carefully as he could without losing his one-armed grip and tumbling into the darkness below. It was an awkward movement, an almost-hop down each rung as the sunlight grew dimmer even in the short distance between him and the sewer ground. The smell hit him almost immediately; it was some sort of terrible amalgamation of sewage, dank air, and some godawful addition. Basically, exactly how he expected a super old sewer to smell like. The sudden, dull clang of metal told him that his feet had reached the walkway, and he let go of the ladder, evaluating his situation.

Beyond the circle of light that beamed down into the subbterranian pit, he couldn't see a damn thing.

He muttered angrily to himself as he fished around in his pockets. Pulling out his brand new phone, he fiddled with it for just a brief moment, before a moderately sized cone of light erupted, and he swung it around the chamber, evaluating his surroundings with the addition of much needed light. Corridors seemed to branch off in every concievable direction, while a cesspool of muck sat slightly lower than the walkway he was currently on. After looking down the available routes, he picked the one directly in front of him and started walking; his light brightening up every corner in his slightly fearful state.

Goddammit. Of all the places that they could have hidden this kid, they chose the maze-like underground sewage system? He was gonna be pissed if he actually found the healer down here; but not quite as pissed as he'd be if he didn't. The image of him wandering around lost, only to come back up and find that Kusari and Siena had wiped everyone on his team sprang to his mind. Another image of him wandering around in the dark only to come face to face with Kusari and immediately get drowned in the shit river also sprang to mind. He shivered slightly, not knowing whether the sudden chill was from that little mental scenario, or the drop in temperature.

Thank god. Another source of light. He wandered over to the shaft that shone brightly into the room, looking up to see if-

He walked in a giant circle. Double goddammit.




BAMF!

She was acutely aware of the fact that she was falling, and though her inertia had yet to start, it would soon. Quickly, Siena sent her eyes around, left, right, and then strai--

'Marcus?!!!'

She hadn't counted on the boy still being exactly where he'd started from. Oh no.

"W-w-waaaaah!" The sound came out planted firmly between a high pitched trill that might have been mistaken for a bird and an equally high pitched squeak that was not unlike a Pika. It was unfortunate for both parties, really, that Siena's instinct won out over her mind, making her original plan to teleport to ground level a moot point.

Marcus nearly jumped out of his skin as something within the twisting tunnels shrieked loudly at him. Some sort of horrible monster that would surely be feasting on- oh no wait, it was just Siena.

'Siena!?'

He looked straight up just in time to see her crashing down upon him. There really wasn't any time to do anything except for return her yell with his own yelp of surprise, quickly followed by a yelp of pain as they both went tumbling to the ground. He heard another crunch from his arm - it hadn't completely broken again, but something had definitely come un-set. The electricty fired through the offending limb one more time, and Marcus shuddered from his position on the ground. He could feel a heavy object resting on top of him, and it wouldn't take a genius to figure out what it was.

"Oh hey Siena...just dropping in?" he said, his words strained through his teeth and followed with a painful chuckle. Said chuckle was interrupted by a softer, more obviously-in-pain tone. "Please get off of me."

Again with the pain of crashing into something. Twice in less than five minutes? Maybe she shouldn't have been going wild with the teleportation thing. On the one hand, at least she hadn't smashed her face into something solid like concrete, but on the other hand...

"S-Sorry!" A pause as she glanced down. Did she break his arm?! Terror seeped into the girl's expression as she sprang to her feet, her mind suddenly alight as though Marcus had thrown gasoline into every crevice before haphazardly dropping a lit cigarette to the ground. Oh god, oh shit she didn't mean to break his arm. That wasn't supposed to happen, oh geeze. Her next words were barely separated, and if not for the shallow breathing, probably wouldn't have been. "Oh no, oh geeze, I didn't mean to b-break your--Ch-Christmas can fix that, right? Oh shit, oh shit...!" BAMF.

"Oh no...that was already like that actually." Marcus started to say, wiggling slghtly hoping that Siena would get the message and stand up. "Your little friend Kus-"

Panic rampaged like a wildebeest being hunted as Siena started making jumps as quickly as her body would let her. Just to the edge of her vision. BAMF. Land. Look. BAMF. If one closed their eyes, it might have sounded like the steady beat of a clubbing song. With her own senses being acutely amped up by the sudden rush of adrenaline, Siena blindly tried to follow the wisps of the tracking sense she had borrowed. He would leave soon, shit, shit, shit. She needed to find Christmas to fix Marcus's arm! Or at least...something like that.

"-ariHOLYSHIT" Marcus said, his statement interrupted by the girl's frantic teleporting. The world around them changed at a ridiculous speed, accompanied by an acrid smell that he couldn't place. Not that the sewers needed anymore acrid smells, but it was an assualt against the senses nonetheless.

Just as he was about to open his mouth and tell Siena to stop freaking out, the world changed again. This time, he was absolutely ecstatic that the girl had franctically teleported before he could say anything, as the world around him suddenly turned foul.

SPLOOSH

Honestly, a lot of things crossed his mind. First being repulsion, second being the absoulte determination to not open his eyes or mouth for anything less than DC politely asking (and even then he might tell the 'god' where to shove his suggestion), and third being the realization that he was about to literally drown in shit. He panicked, trying to throw Siena off of him with his good arm so he could get his head above water, and the world changed again.

BAMF!

This time, they were back on dry land. Though that didn't help Marcus's situation at all.

"Oh no, uh...um..." Too many walkways and now only a fading trace that she could barely hold onto. [i}Where was he[/i]? "Okay, wait...calm down, Siena..." Breathe. Her voice came soft. One breath, two. Honing in on the tones she sought, the brunette released a shaky breath. She should have stolen the flags off of Marcus. Maybe they would have given him medical attention if he wasn't involved in the match.

'Find Christmas. Hide him. Refresh the names.' How was she supposed to do all that? Certainly someone on the opposing team had a way of tracking her healer down if they'd known to go for the sewers.

"Ugh...Christmas, where are you...?"

BAMF!

When Siena teleported the last time, Marcus had managed to squirm out from underneath her. As she disappeared into thin air, he was left on the metal railing, covered in sewage, with the only light being the murky beam that came from his phone, which he had kept a death grip on during the entire exchange.

He lay there for just a moment, contemplating all the decisions that had got him to this point. He had expected a nice, friendly game of superpowered Capture the Flag, and less than five minutes in, this: His arm was broken, his nose was also broken, he was covered in sewage, and he was most certainly about to lose that enchilada he had paid for.

This might have been the lowest point in his life.

He slid himself backwards to the wall after expelling his lunch, and just sat there. Maybe he'd just stay here until someone came down to find him. He looked down at the ankle cuff, where Fred was definitely laughing his ass off, and grumbled.

"Freddie. This dry cleaning is going on your tab. And I'm gonna request the most expensive goddamn soap they can get.

The cuff beeped once in reply, but, unlike last time, several seconds of staticy silence passed before it ended the transmission with another beep. A third beep immediately sounded after that, followed by an almost mockingly grave Fredric, "Sorry, Mr. Howe--" Beep. The transmission cut out before he finished. Beep. "Sorry, Mr. Howell. Try not to--" a muffled wheeze could be heard on the other end, "--open your mouth too much, alright? Hang in there."




The trail began at an open manhole. The pungent stench of wastes was not easy on his enhanced senses, so he focused on the alluring scent of coffee instead. Forgoing the metal ladder, Sander hopped into the manhole, landing with a thud on the concrete beneath. Another delectable aroma assaulted his nostrils, threatening his control, so he did the only reasonable thing: he dashed forward, leaving the source of the smell behind.

With distance between himself and the smell of spring onions, Sander could focus on his target again. He once again barrelled down the path, sprinting as fast as he could.

'Someone's coming?!' The sound of footsteps echoed, the speed of their approach too fast for any normal person. With her team being largely incapable of tracking, Siena could only assume that meant it was someone from the other team. Gritting her teeth, she dared not glance back. Not yet. Keep moving, even if her heartbeats were thundering like a stampede of hooves against her ribs.

The tracking sense flickered further.

'No, nonono, stay. Stay...! Stay!' It was like trying to hold onto a greased rope, with each returning surge being nowhere near its previous strength.

'Why, Miss Santana. Don't you know a Santana doesn't simply give up?'

A familiar voice. One that Siena had heard go from gentle and soft to stern and rigid in the blink of an eye countless times before. Maya was right though--Siena had watched her mother on television, in parties...that woman was relentless. It wasn't something Siena had thought could be appreciated until that moment.

So Siena pushed herself a little harder in response to the steady supply of adrenaline being pumped through her veins.

BAMF!




Christmas hadn't moved at all in the last few minutes, eyes naturally sliding towards the bright beam of light from the flashlight in his hands--hands that were still wrapped firmly around his stomach as much to quell their shaking as it was to hold himself together in some sad way. To go from blacking out in the middle of a battlefield to sitting in the depths of a rancid sewer was probably poetic justic.

He'd consider it appropriate. Like throwing away trash. The knowledge that it was just a game hardly helped the sinking resignation that no one would come for him all the way down here. As an afterthought, to assure himself he wasn't just being wholly selfish, he appended a hope that the soldiers had placed the other girl somewhere better.

It didn't make him feel better about himself.

Luckily a faint scream cut through the near-absolute silence of the sewers, distracting him from his pathetic self-pity. But the way it echoed, he couldn't tell where it had come from. It was validating in a shameful way how much he had wanted someone to come for him, but at the same time it had been a scream. He had seen how dark and dangerous the maze of a sewer system was, having nearly stumbled several times despite an escort leading. What if something had happened to whoever had come for him?

Then they wouldn't be able to find me, his thoughts veered towards himself again as he once more affixed concern about why they had screamed.

Did the order to stay hidden still apply if someone was actually in danger? It was just a game, and Daisy had mentioned it was supposed to be non-lethal. He shifted his feet inside his shoes, feeling the resistance of the filmy sludge layer on the floor.

He was supposed to help. That was the thing "good boys" did. Adhering to a definition of behavior was at least something he could do, even if he wasn't quite sure how good of a person he actually was.

No, he was sure. He wasn't.

But his muck-stained shoes left filthy footprints behind him anyway as he stepped onto the small set of stairs leading into the nearest passageway, towards the scream (he hoped). A reminder that he had heard before--something about staying in one place if you were lost--fell to the wayside as he moved on the manufactured impulse of being a good person.

Not ten steps into his ill-advised attempt to convince himself he wasn't entirely self-serving, he caught a repeating staccato of an echoing explosion--or something that sounded like small pockets of air detonating. The way the sound reverberated and layered on each successive burst while getting louder made him think it was perhaps a better idea to just run in the opposite direction, attempts at goodwill be damned. He hadn't heard the scream again for some time, so this should be fine, right? The person was probably...fine. Or dead. And either way, he wouldn't be needed--

No, please, he cut his reflexive thoughts off before they could convince him to just retreat.

The ringing of the strange sound's echoes had stopped, and Christmas strained his ears to catch anything else, only to realize in the cacophony that was the louder noise, he had missed what sounded faintly like rapid footsteps. And they were getting closer.

Sander’s shoulder brushed the dusty wall as he made a sharp turn, heading straight for the prize. His eyes could make out the shape of the walls ahead, so he did what came most naturally. He pulled an arm back, then slammed his fist into the wall with everything he had. His hand went clean through, a deafening crash echoing through the darken halls. Sander didn’t seem to notice, his mind locked onto the destruction ahead of him as he brought his fists down again and again.

The first thunder of sound against the concrete wall to his right made Christmas jump with a sharp shout. Then the jackhammering of something on the other side breaking through the wall and the spreading cracks made blacker in the beam of the flashlight finalized the decision for him. He turned to the stairs on the opposite side and ran, nearly tripping over his own feet to get away.

It occurred to Siena that trying to see in the dark was counterproductive. Shoving a hand into her pocket, she double tapped the screen of her phone to light it up, flicking down and immediately making use of the flashlight icon. A beam of white light escaped from the back of her phone, illuminating her path just in time to hear the sound of a boom.

What. The actual. Hell?

Quickly, she moved herself to the new edge of her vision, heart racing and mind numb. The second rumble came even louder when she reappeared. She was getting closer to the sound? Bad. Bad, bad, bad. She turned the corner away from the sound, barely even having time to completely take in the end point of her next jump before the rapid succession of sound of her telltale teleportation began to fill the room.

She landed again. That rumbling really hadn't sounded good.

"Christmas?! We've gotta get out of here, wherever the hell you are!"

A female voice rang out in the distance, but between the deafening impacts against the wall and the echoes of the strange explosion noises again, Christmas couldn't make out the words. His thoughts were focused on escaping whatever was obliterating a wall to get to him. Though he had wanted someone to come find him, he hadn't meant for them to kill him.

As the last of the debris bounced harmlessly off him, Sander launched himself into the room through the opening he had created. He turned his head toward the scent, resuming his inhuman dash.

Christmas had rounded the corner of the adjacent room just as the sound of shattering cement eased into the crumbling of rubble and then ceased completely. Whoever it was had broken through. He didn't turn around, taking the path of least resistance towards another short set of stairs that led back into one of the large sewer conduits. With no time to think, he dashed towards the right.

A figure cut through into the beam of light Siena was using for light. Too sudden for her to get a good look. No time to check, hopefully that was Christmas, or at least whatever was breaking down walls in the sewers. Siena threw herself through the motions of a sprinting start, one arm outstretched towards the figure coming straight at her as she sent herself a short distance forward, blinking out of sight in a puff of smoke only to reappear closer to her hopeful mark with her makeshift flashlight.

"Grab on if you want out!" The shout was about as commanding as a frightened sixteen year old girl could muster, but hopefully it would be enough.

Christmas crashed into a person just as he turned back to check if he was being chased, dropping his flashlight in the collision. The impact wasn't as rough as his cry of surprise, but he also distinctly noticed that this was a girl thanks to two particular sensations where his torso collided with hers. Before he could reel back, she had grabbed him and the space around him vanished instantly.

Sander rounded the corner just in time to catch a flash of light and a female voice. As well as his roommate’s turned back. He leapt forward, barely an arm length away from that head of blond hair.

Then they vanished. His momentum launched him forward, right into the unforgiving embrace of the concrete walkway. He landed heavily with a resounding thud, but with the blood high still activated, he could still shrug off the impact. Pushing himself to his feet, he sniffed the air again, catching the faint scent of coffee still lingering in the air. And something else, sweeter. Like fruit. Jam. With an angry grunt deep in his throat, he turned, heading back to the entrance of the manhole.

He had to get to them. The flame in his chest flickered and dwindled, heralding an end to the blood mage’s rampage.
Sander’s third upgrade is unlocked. Now he is able to share his invulnerability with one target he had drunk from in his stage 3. He didn’t have to touch the target, but they would have to stay within 2m of himself. While this ability is activated, both him and the target will glow red, however, the duration of stage 3 will be halved for Sander.
γ€Žπ•Šπ•’π•Ÿπ••π•–π•£γ€




π•Šπ•–π•‘π•₯. 𝟟, 𝟚𝟘𝟚𝟘 / / π•Œπ•Šπ”Έβ„π•€π•ƒβ„• 𝔼𝕒𝕀π•₯ / / 𝕃𝕖𝕔π•₯𝕦𝕣𝕖 ℍ𝕒𝕝𝕝 β„€: β„π• π• π•ž πŸšπŸ› / / πŸ™πŸ›πŸ˜πŸ



This was ridiculous.

Sander leaned back, dread slowly settled in the pit of his stomach, as he processed the information. It happened all so fast. First it was the white-haired stranger in the hall with confusing words and a punch that were more rage than malice, then now this 'game'.

It was the Facility all over again.

”Pay attention”, followed by a snap of fingers.

The light was blinding. He cranked his head sideway, cold weight of the chains of his limbs, slick warmth of blood on his skin.

β€œStay with me.”


He blinked the unpleasant memory away, forcing his gaze back on the board, though he had no such luck with his trains of thoughts. Even after Fredric had been replaced by some sickly man who carried the not-so-pleasant scent of rotten fruit, his head was still churning, doubt and fear and frustration bled into a potent mixture. At this point, the line between his own thoughts and those elicited by the Stigma was getting blurred. Had any thoughts his own to begin with?

He had nothing. He was nothing.

To think that he was more than his power. To hope that he could be.

Simply ridiculous.


He didn’t want to do this. Yet, at the same time, he did. It was a choice he couldn’t have made, and as pathetic as it was, parts of him was glad that choice had been taken away from him. Everything was better when they were mandatory right? That way, he could blame someone else for his own incompetence.

Zhange was right. There was never a monster. He was just a wimp who needed his choices made for him. He hid behind the blood high, because that was all he had. He couldn't face life on his own.

He sighed, burying his face in his hands, pressing cold fingers against his forehead. As if the simple gesture could push the sense back into his head. It didn’t work, but that was nothing new. The teacher droned on and on about subjects that was far beyond his understandings, so he decided to focus on something else. Anything at all, really, since he didn’t wish to drown any further in self-pity and regrets. The elective block form came to mind, so he grabbed the form and began reading through everything. There were 8 in total, all of them unremarkable to him. It had been nearly five years since, and he could hardly remember which electives he picked back then. Another quick look through the list, and Sander decided to pick P.E as his elective. Hopefully, they would let him use the track. As for the rest, he just numbered them in order from the top down, barely even stopped to think what the subject could possibly consist of.



With that done, he moved the sheet of paper to the edge of his desk, shoving it beneath the stack of paper and text books, content to just stared at his folded hard for the entirety of the lesson.

Oh wow guys. Are we pretending to be all dead?
γ€Žπ•Šπ•’π•Ÿπ••π•–π•£γ€ γ€Žβ„‚π•™π•£π•šπ•€π•₯π•žπ•’π•€γ€




ℂ𝕠𝕝𝕝𝕒𝕓𝕠𝕣𝕒π•₯π•šπ• π•Ÿ ℙ𝕠𝕀π•₯ / / @RedDusk@January


π•Šπ•–π•‘π•₯. 𝟟, 𝟚𝟘𝟚𝟘 / / π•Œπ•Šπ”Έβ„π•€π•ƒβ„• 𝔼𝕒𝕀π•₯ / / 𝕃𝕖𝕔π•₯𝕦𝕣𝕖 ℍ𝕒𝕝𝕝 β„€ / / ~𝟘𝟑𝟘𝟘



The Squishable manatee worked wonders for Christmas's mood. He had been less than thrilled at the prospect of being left to his own thoughts without the distracting comfort of his Vita, but now, staring at the ridiculously soft stuffed toy on his desk, a lot of his worries--well, he wouldn't say they melted away, but they certainly didn't drown out the 38-centimeter plush staring back at him.

He gave it a long hug, reminded of the one he had left behind.

Mr. Chair.

The old Mr. Chair was probably gone now. His mother wouldn't have kept any of his stuff that hadn't gone with him to USARILN East.

He had been quick to comply with the entourage of guards escorting them all to a classroom, some of his fellow students' faces he vaguely recognized from the first day and the battlefield, though both events had been a confusing jumble of terror and screaming. Worried that they would be sent out again? Yes. Scared that he would pass out and wake up only to find the battle all over again? Absolutely. Panicked at the thought that he could die in so many ways and that his power only exacerbated the issue? 100%.

And then there were the whispers and chatter about new students having already died. He couldn't even remember who had been where in that fight to identify who was missing. If anyone asked, he'd be scared to admit that he had no recollection of the deceased students. Not good, to be the only one who didn't know the details. He regretted not asking for specifics, but given the events of the past few days maybe he would rather not know.

So it was a bit of mood whiplash, then, that they were taken to a regular classroom to attend regular classes. The sudden nostalgia of being treated somewhat normally in the blur of adjusting to his new environment gave Christmas some traction on the downward slide of his thoughts. He was okay here. He was okay in this moment, in this classroom, in this place. Or perhaps despite this place.

A subnatural seemed to be leading the class, and it had surprised Christmas how the man had undeniable command of the regular staff around him. Almost as surprising as the man being the same one he had encountered in the hospital before. Someone important, then. And he was overseeing their group.

But before Christmas's thoughts could start hobbling towards another series of conclusions he'd really rather not think about, the sudden entrance of yet another person he had encountered before startled him. The lady from the dining hall. And she came with a group of guards bearing gifts like a demented version of Santa Claus and his reindeers.

Now a Squishable manatee was parked on his desk, beside Lawrence's worn copy of Meditations. Meanwhile, quiet yips and mewling came from various corners of the room, courtesy of the students who had requested pets.

The woman (Daisy?) had told him to make good choices, and he had only blinked stupidly at the order (suggestion?). The choices he made weren't usually because he wanted them, but because he had to make them in some capacity.

His gaze had followed hers when she had glanced at Sander, but the moment had passed quickly enough.

And then classes had begun in earnest, and he realized belatedly that he couldn't write with his right hand in that state. He considered just ignoring class and hugging Mr. Chair for the rest of the duration until lunch, but the need to follow regular procedure compelled him to pull out the notebook and pen from the open drawer below the desk's surface.

Meditations perched on a corner of the desk and Mr. Chair sat snugly on his lap before Christmas started taking notes--or trying to take notes. Writing with his left hand was bizarre. Lettering came out as deranged scrawls rather than the tiny handwriting he usually commanded. By the time classes ended for lunch, Christmas had filled up a good 15 pages of his notebook with large, uneven scribbles, taking up far more space than he truly needed, especially with the lesson on sentence diagramming.

He took his time huddling in his seat: second to last row in the back, furthest on the right. If possible, he would've remained in the classroom, but he didn't really want to stay behind by himself. Gathering his Squishable up in the fold of his right arm and grabbing Lawrence's book with his left hand, Christmas edged towards the exit, pressing his hip against the push bar handle to nudge the door open before slipping out.



π•Šπ•–π•‘π•₯. 𝟟, 𝟚𝟘𝟚𝟘 / / π•Œπ•Šπ”Έβ„π•€π•ƒβ„• 𝔼𝕒𝕀π•₯ / / π”Ήπ•¦π•šπ•π••π•šπ•Ÿπ•˜ 𝔻: π”»π•šπ•Ÿπ•šπ•Ÿπ•˜ ℍ𝕒𝕝𝕝 / / ~πŸ™πŸšπŸ˜πŸ˜



When lunch break arrived, Sander was one of the first to leave the room, but he monitored the coffee scent as he walked. After realizing that his roommate hadn’t moved yet, he decided to wait outside, leaning against the patch of wall right next to the exit. It was long before the scent drew closer, so he switched his ability off, then turned to the door, greeting the blond boy with an easy smile as he emerged.

β€œHey, Christmas. Want to get lunch?”

Laden down with a Squishable manatee almost as large as his torso and carrying a book in the other hand, Christmas started at his roommate's waiting presence and fixed his eyes on the floor to stymie any further reactions while considering the question.

"Um," he finally answered, "is it okay if I put...uh...this back in the room?" He moved his right arm to wiggle the plush creature.

Sander stared at the stuffed manatee for a few moments, eyebrows raised, though he quickly schooled his expression back into neutrality.

β€œSure. Need a hand?”

The question was like a pop quiz. Was it okay to say he'd rather keep hugging his stuffed animal? Maybe it was rude to refuse.

Deciding on a compromise, Christmas tentatively handed over Mr. Chair with a soft "Sure" and "Thank you," figuring Sander could hold the more comfortable of the two items.

Sander took the stuffed animal, then mirrored Christmas’ action, tucking it under his right arm. With that done, he turned and headed back to their shared dorm. Once they arrived, Sander’s eyes immediately came to rest on the mini fridge set up right next to his bed. Almost as if he was in a trance, Sander moved toward it, nostrils flared as he extracted the scents from the air. It felt cold and unappetizing, like days old leftovers, but he didn’t find the gamey, earthy undertones of animal blood. Placing the manatee on his bed, he leaned down and opened up the fridge, rummaging through its content. Bags and bottles of red liquid greeted him, and he could tell from scents alone what they were. Some were not like the others though. Sander reached out to grab the lone red canister, then tentatively gave its exterior a sniff.

Definitely not animal blood.

Biting down on the urge to crack the canister open there and then, he placed it back and retrieved some other bottles, which he proceeded to open up and sniffed.

While Sander sniffed the contents of the new mini-fridge, Christmas left Meditations on his desk and carefully retrieved Mr. Chair from his roommate's bed, settling into a seat on his own bed while he waited for Sander. He snuck a few curious glances at the bottles and bags, but didn't stare, preferring to repeatedly pet his stuffed animal instead.

Whoever gave him the fridge had some sense of humor. Sander remembered correctly he did not ask for tomato juice or kool aid. Regardless, they were already delivered, so he might as well make use of them. Casting a glance at Christmas, he realized how unusual his actions must have looked, so he quickly regained his composure and grabbed two bottles, one tomato juice and one kool aid, before shoving the rest back in the fridge.

β€œSorry about that.”- He walked over to the blond boy β€“β€œWould you like some drinks? I have tomato juice and…strawberry kool aid.”

"Oh--um, thank you," Christmas set the manatee aside, looking at the drinks Sander offered. "The tomato juice...then?"

β€œGood choice.”- Sander handed over the bottle to the healer, before opening up the kool aid for himself and taking a gulp. It tasted just as horrible as he remembered, but he swallowed his grimace, opted to simply walk back to the fridge and place the bottle back inside. His fingers brushed the red canister though, and after a moment of hesitation, he grabbed the thing. He needed it later, anyway. For Ground Zero. The canister felt like it was the same type they gave him back in the Facility, so he figured it would be fine out in room temperature.

β€œDo you need anything else?”- He hefted the canister in his hand, feeling its content sloshed about. Fortunately, the metal shell muted most of the scent, unappetizing as it was.

Christmas shook his head, giving his plush one more squeeze before standing up with the bottle of tomato juice in hand. If he was being honest, he was grateful Sander took the time to...invite him to lunch? Bring his Vita to the hospital? Talk to him?

But it felt strange. Between his vigilance against what he knew would eventually become his dependency on someone else to take care of his problems yet again and his selfish need for companionship, he hadn't considered why Sander was going so far to oblige him.

Now that the thought had surfaced, though, there was no quelling it. At the same time, there was no way to ask without seeming ungrateful. As Christmas shuffled out the door behind Sander, he ruminated on his roommate's reasons for--he'd like to call it "putting up with him."

The dining hall was quite busy at this time of day and the usual receptionists at the lobby scanned their cards through without protest. Inside, Christmas looked around for an empty table, spotting one in the far corner, close to the bar in the back. He didn't bring it up, yet, waiting on Sander's decision for which floor and which seats to take.

Sander glanced around the dining hall, searching for an empty table until he found one near the bar. Which did bring back some memories of his talk with Zhang the previous night. He looked almost lost for a brief moment, staring down at the red canister, then at the blond boy by his side. However, reality pulled him back soon enough.

β€œThere’s a nice spot in the back.”- He gestured toward the empty table β€“β€œYou go on ahead. I will get the food this time. What do you want?”

"Uh, whatever you get is fine--probably," he mumbled the last part, waiting for Sander to move towards the trays of food before making his own way towards the corner table. He was careful to skirt and avoid people before they could bump into him, eyes frantically darting around as he tried guesstimating where someone would go from their direction of movement. Nothing as precise as math. Just his usual trepidation when he actually had to navigate a crowd on his own. Bumping into someone was a veritable nightmare, after all.

He practically fell into the seat with relief when he got there, wishing the dining hall wasn't quite so boisterous but simultaneously grateful for the liveliness surrounding him. Settling into the mixture of chatter and laughter going on around him, Christmas left the bottle of juice on the table and absentmindedly fiddled with the gauze on his right hand, wrapping and unwrapping the strands as he tried not to think too much on the disturbing sense of gratification he felt from someone taking care of him again. Unpleasant, and he swallowed like it would make that bitterness go away.

Sander spent the first few minutes just staring at the food displays, pondering his options. Admittedly, he had never been particularly great with choices. Meals, to him, had been neatly portioned trays of food slid in underneath the door of his room for the longest time. Even now, he had trouble recalling what his favorite dishes were, before all of…this. His gaze drifted aimlessly, before he settled on a plate of spaghetti with meatballs. The choice would have been rather odd, considering the enemies they faced in the last battle. Then again, if Sander were being honest with himself, that violent experience felt hardly unpleasant to him. Quite the opposite, actually. The blood high painted every frame of his memory with a golden hue, and they easily entranced him like some helpless moth.

For Christmas, Sander grabbed a sizable piece of steak and some kale salad with apple and cheddar, mostly because he thought they would help with flesh wounds and blood loss. After gathering all the food, along with two cups of coffee, he squeezed them all onto a single tray and headed back. The coffee sloshed a little bit on his spaghetti when he finally got there, but Sander didn’t really care. He took the seat opposite from the blond boy, before pulling the spaghetti and coffee toward himself. The rest he pushed toward Christmas.

β€œHere you go.”

"...Thank you," Christmas murmured at the plate. Leaving his right hand at his side, he prodded the kale salad clumsily with the provided fork, his left hand still proving repeatedly that he would likely never become ambidextrous.

β€œYeah. That sounds great.”- It didn’t take a genius to figure out the conversation was once again drying up, and Sander wasn’t sure how to keep it going. He was so used to being the one answering questions, not asking them. Silence stretched between them as Sander continued picking at his plate, half-hearted waiting for Christmas to say something more.

The timid blond would have picked at his plate in silence, too, except there was nothing left to pick--there hadn't been for quite a few minutes now. He was unsure how to hold a conversation, and Sander seemed unsure about what to ask. And somewhere in the gap between their misunderstandings were the real questions both had awkwardly chatted around.

"Can--may I ask something...?"

"Sure. Go ahead."- Sander looked up, an encouraging smile on his lips.

"Um," he swallowed, gulping down air and saliva to assuage the nerves. The tactic had never worked before. Christmas wasn't sure why he thought it would now. But the words had somewhat aligned themselves on his tongue and he let them fall before his mouth could decide on something entirely different. "Earlier you...said it doesn't--it doesn't have to be all I am. But--uh," he almost lost it, but blurted out the rest just in time. "But what about you?"

"What about me?" -The smile lingered, but the blood mage's expression was unreadable.

"...Would you..." the shuttered expression could have been enough to deter Christmas. Would have, under other circumstances, but he had already traipsed into that landmine they had danced around for the past ten or so minutes, and there would be no leaving unscathed. "If that was all you were, would you still take it?"

Sander worked his jaws again, barely-there movements that he had the habit of making before he chose his words. However, minutes passed and still, no words came out. He found himself glancing sideway at the bright red canister, its obnoxious colour taunting him.

β€œIt is all I have left.”- He mumbled, voice low and gaze steely as he stared the blond boy down. However, he diverted his eyes soon enough, expression mellowed into a mix of shame and resignation.

Of course Christmas shrank into his seat at the glare. Of course he was afraid. But this he understood. And it was like catching insanity together.

"Then use me. It's all I have left, too."

His voice was quiet--that much would likely never change. But it was firmer than anything he had said before.

Sander’s only response was to let the fork in his hand drop, silverware clicking against porcelain. He lifted his gaze to look at the blond boy, but still didn’t say a word. What there was to say? His head was in turmoil, trains of thoughts fought to stop and go, and his words just failed him. So for the longest time, he just stared, looking, but seeing nothing.

β€œIf that’s what you want, then why me?”- Eventually, he asked β€“β€œYou can heal others.”

β€œIt doesn’t matter to me where it comes from.”

Christmas looked away, eyes roving across the other tables of seated subnaturals and staff members. Some looked immensely carefree while others sat with harrowed eyes and gaunt expressions.

""Because we are roommates and you have been nothing but nice so…" he repeated Sander's reasoning from before in a soft voice.

A moment as someone nearby swore, scalded by hot coffee. Christmas's gaze flicked to the injured party sitting two tables away before he turned back to Sander. It was easy to ignore little things like that around him. Also easy to notice if he looked for them. It was true. He could heal others. The doctors had wanted to decide that much for him, anyway.

"If...." Always conditionals. Never certainties. "If I wanted to start somewhere, I think...I'd want to be the one choosing." He didn't clarify if he meant only his power. He wondered if he needed to.

β€œSo you chose me?”-The failure. The mistake. His mind helpfully supplied, but Sander finally settled for the familiar term he was used to β€“β€œThe violent X.”

β€œYou are not making this easy for yourself.”- He shook his head, but knew well enough that it was not his place to tell Christmas what to do. Others were entitled to their own choices. The only ones he questioned were his own.

The least he could though, were making sure he would not endanger the boy anymore than he already was β€“β€œIf you are not doing this for yourself, do this for me. I only ask that you don’t offer it to me so easily.”

β€œThis school has resources. They can get me what I want.”- He reached out for the canister, holding it out in front of him β€“β€œDon’t worry too much about me. I can heal on my own.”

"I...chose the roommate who..." Christmas placed his right on the table in a splay of loose bandages "tried to fix...this," he nodded at the hand, and meant something beyond that. "I think you're...probably stronger than--"

He breathed out slowly, stopping himself mid-sentence and settling back into his seat, eyes fixed on the empty plate in front of him.

A lurking, feverish emotion hummed at the bottom of his frayed nerves and Christmas closed his eyes, good hand clutching his stomach on instinct as a familiar sensation cropped up there, too. "Just butterflies in your stomach," he had once been told. He had never worked up the voice to tell them it was more like hornets.

The dining hall's analog clock ticked towards 12:44.

"I-I'll head back in a bit. I'm sorry. You can--you can go ahead."

"Are you okay?"- Sander stayed put, eyeing the healer carefully, noting the hand on his stomach.

Christmas took a shuddering breath. "I'm sorry. For--um--" he winced as a small pang of stomach pain jolted through him "--bringing it up. I'll--I'll head back in a bit."

Sander glanced at the clock on the wall and moved to stand up, but he didn’t leave just yet. Christmas seemed suddenly unwell, and he was concerned β€“β€œThe infirmary is not far away.”- He said, half a suggestion and half an offer.

Another harsh breath in as Sander stood to leave. Christmas shook his head to the comment. "Thank you for--" a short exhale "--lunch."

"Don't worry about it."- Sander recited once again, the courtesies were second nature to him -"See you." - Reluctantly, he gave the blond boy one last worried glance, before heading back to the classroom, taking the red canister with him.

Once Sander had left, Christmas checked the time on the clock again. If he remembered right, they were expected back at the classroom by 1300. It would probably be enough time for his reflexive stomachache to ebb, though he might just barely make it. A barely audible groan escaped his lips as he leaned his head against the wall next to their corner table, waiting for his pounding pulse and hammering heart to slow down.
γ€Žπ•Šπ•’π•Ÿπ••π•–π•£γ€




π•Šπ•–π•‘π•₯. 𝟟, 𝟚𝟘𝟚𝟘 / / π•Œπ•Šπ”Έβ„π•€π•ƒβ„• 𝔼𝕒𝕀π•₯ / / 𝕃𝕖𝕔π•₯𝕦𝕣𝕖 π”Ήπ•¦π•šπ•π••π•šπ•Ÿπ•˜ β„€ / / 𝟘𝟑𝟘𝟘



Sander settled for a chair further from the board, contented to just fiddle with his newly acquired laptop rather than paying attention to the lessons. Half of the stuffs they were teaching seemed familiar enough, so he figured he could afford some slacking. Academic achievements had never meant much to him anyway, and he doubted it was any different with the Director. She said it herself; he was to be a combatant here. He didn’t think he would need extensive knowledge of algebra to do that. Instead of paying attention to Ms Rivera, he booted up the laptop and began to surf the web. The laptop had most of the basic programs installed already, but he figured he could get a few more. After all, this was his personal computer, or as personal as it could get here. While waiting for a download to complete, he decided to check on his old email address as well. It was one of the few last mementos he still held on to from his old life.

No new email in the inbox.

Right. Why would they send emails to a dead person? He should have known better. Silly thoughts for a silly boy.

Closing the laptop with a barely audible click, Sander returned his eyes to the teacher, but his attention was still faraway, chasing stray trains of thoughts into nowhere. Many of his fellow students had requested weapons, amongst other things. He thought about weapons when he was still filling out the sheet as well, but figured it didn’t matter. He already got a Glock 41 sitting at the bottom of his duffel bag; he didn’t need another firearm. Even then, he was better off unarmed. Ammunitions were not available in abundance, and he knew from experience that ripping into flesh with your bare hands gave off quite a visceral sense of satisfaction. Not that he would ever admit that to anyone, or even himself. He just liked to think that he wanted to keep things simple, and that was that.

But she wanted him to at least try. They both did. Maybe at least he should make the effort? A weapon sounded like a good point to start.

One mistake after another. When would finally he learn?

Sander blinked dumbly, before pressing a hand to his face. Right. No weapon. It was a bad idea. Ground Zero seemed to be a better one at this point. In fact, it would be better if he skipped the afternoon training session altogether and focused his effort sating the Stigma in Ground Zero. Alone. It was especially disappointing, considering he used to go at least a week without incidents before. But what else could he do?

He only had himself to blame, really.

He would double back to his room later, after lunch. They had already given out most of the requisitions; one day too late, but it was better than nothing. They must have leave the rest of his requests back at the dorm. Those were not things you carry around in public, after all. If he were more sensible, he would have left the classroom there and then, leaving for Ground Zero as soon as he was able. But he was stubborn. Deep inside, he still had that tenaciousness that she instilled.

Another mistake. Another choice he would soon regret. That was all he could do. Regret.
Oh yeah. Almost forgot.

Sander's #2 upgrade unlocked. He can now tag one target through physical contact to draw blood from a distance. This method of consumption is slower than the other two, but he could better control the input. The ability has a maximum range of 100m, and once used, both him and the target will be engulfed in a red glow.
γ€Žπ•Šπ•’π•Ÿπ••π•–π•£γ€ γ€Žβ„‚π•™π•£π•šπ•€π•₯π•žπ•’π•€γ€




ℂ𝕠𝕝𝕝𝕒𝕓𝕠𝕣𝕒π•₯π•šπ• π•Ÿ ℙ𝕠𝕀π•₯ / / @RedDusk@January


π•Šπ•–π•‘π•₯. 𝟟, 𝟚𝟘𝟚𝟘 / / π•Œπ•Šπ”Έβ„π•€π•ƒβ„• 𝔼𝕒𝕀π•₯ / / π”»π• π•£π•ž π”Ήπ•¦π•šπ•π••π•šπ•Ÿπ•˜ 𝔸: π•Šπ•¦π•šπ•₯𝕖 πŸ›πŸ™πŸŸ / / πŸ˜πŸœπŸ™πŸ›/~πŸ˜πŸŸπŸ›πŸ˜



It was a dream.

Christmas knew the unreality of it immediately despite the dense, waist-high grass and heavy stormclouds stretching across an endless, monochrome plain of muted yellow. The smell of rain clung to the air and a strong wind rattled the tall, rusty swing he sat on, bare feet dangling over the spears of grass bobbing rapidly in the breeze. Simple, iron beams specked brown and red with corrosion cut a rigid image of the swing set in otherwise uninterrupted grassland. His hands still gripped the creaking, cracking chains, afraid to let go in the face of the looming tempest. Beside him, an empty swing seat swayed wildly in the harsh drafts of air.

The storm was too much. Too far beyond him in his plain white T-shirt and gray shorts. And it was silly, but he didn't want to stand on his bare feet, afraid the grass and dirt would swallow him up before the storm could.

His left hand clutched the chain of the seat harder, fearing the compulsion to let go. As if in response, one of the fractured links near his white-knuckled grip crumbled to pieces, the scraps of tarnished metal floating upwards and away.

One end of the seat swung downward and Christmas tumbled to the ground, landing on his side in the shuddering waves of yellowed grass battered down by the violent air.

The rough texture of dry leaves suffocated him--pressed down on him, their lengths falling across his body. It was almost like drowning.

He snapped awake in much the same position, heaving breaths and the pounding of blood in his ears vivid and shocking enough to denote this as reality. Several steps of awkward stumbling took him to the phone on his desk, and a shaking finger turned on the lock screen to check the time. 0421. His roommates had, thankfully, not been disturbed by his sudden awakening and Christmas braced his unbandaged hand against the edge of his desk, breathing as quietly as possible in the aftermath of the dream.

It felt like he had lost something--though whether that something was good or bad, he couldn't be sure. A soft, faint sense of exhilaration danced in the farthest reaches of his thoughts as his mind automatically, almost without his consent, focused on a small ripple of difference in his power.

Confusion only lasted the barest moment before he just knew what that difference was. That was almost as frightening as not knowing.

Several long minutes of trying to focus on anything--anything at all--passed before Christmas tiptoed carefully back to his bed and settled in under the sheets. Another hour and he finally managed to doze off.

The prolonged sound of running water stirred him sometime later and Christmas took far too long to comprehend that it was now morning and that he still very much remembered what he had seen earlier in his dream. Hoping to forget about it had only cemented it in his memories. Both Sander's and Kusari's beds were empty and he blearily wondered if they were both showering together.

The bathroom was occupied and sleep still clung to him, heavy across his eyes and shoulders. He took that in stride, glad to soak in the haziness of waking up for a few moments longer before the silence of waiting bothered him enough to justify sliding out of bed and grabbing his Vita from the desk. Bare feet and the chilly morning quickly propelled him back, however, and he curled up in an upright bundle with the sheets, cozily tapping away on the console's buttons with his good hand while his mind fled far elsewhere.



π•Šπ•–π•‘π•₯. 𝟟, 𝟚𝟘𝟚𝟘 / / π•Œπ•Šπ”Έβ„π•€π•ƒβ„• 𝔼𝕒𝕀π•₯ / / π”»π• π•£π•ž π”Ήπ•¦π•šπ•π••π•šπ•Ÿπ•˜ 𝔸: π•Šπ•¦π•šπ•₯𝕖 πŸ›πŸ™πŸŸ / / ~πŸ˜πŸŸπŸ›πŸ˜



It happened again.

Sander found himself kneeling in the water once more, an insignificant speck of dust in the face of the great beyond. More of that vast ocean dripped into him, and he welcomed it, revelled in that brief moment of strength. It felt almost like power. Almost like hope.

Until he woke up.

Sander blinked blearily, watching the faint morning light streaming in from the window. It felt far too early to get out of bed, but he sat up regardless. For the first time since that battle, he didn’t wake up shivering in cold sweat, so there was no point in wasting a perfectly good day in bed. He would save that for his worse days. With that in mind, Sander pushed the cover aside and headed straight for the shower.

As lukewarm water caressed his back, Sander stared at his hands, his mind faraway. The Change happened again. He knew it. He felt it. And he was sure they had ways of finding out as well. He knew the Change before, but it had never happened this rapidly. It shouldn’t. He was not sure how to feel about this. Parts of him were scared; he didn’t want the monster to become stronger. Yet, what if the Change strengthened his control? He remembered hope. He remembered power.

Back then, the prospect of control felt almost real.

There was only one way of knowing. But he didn’t dare to think about it. He couldn’t. He would fail, like all those times before. Just because he thought he could be someone else. Because he dared to want. Dared to hope.

His fault. All his. They died, and he did nothing.

He blinked, watching his white-knuckled fists slowly uncurled as he took in deep breaths. No, he shouldn’t. He didn’t want to shatter any parts of his arms, and he most certainly didn’t want to break anything in the shower. There was no point in making his roommates even more miserable. He would go the Ground Zero later. Soon. But it was disappointing. He was usually better than this when it came to his Stigma.

After his morning ritual, Sander exited the bathroom, a white towel draped over his shoulders as he headed back to his desk. Glancing in Christmas’ direction, he noticed that the boy had already awoken, and was currently playing on his Vita again. It was a few moments, before Sander realized he was staring, so he turned back to his desk, searching for anything to busy himself with. There was a spare requisition form at the corner of his desk, but hesitation still pulled at his mind, so it wasn’t long before he turned back to his roommate.

β€œHave you ever seen the ocean?”- He said suddenly, the question seemingly came out of nowhere.

Christmas blinked once at the question, pulling his mind rapidly from the depths of his daydreams as he struggled to both form a reply and process the query all at once.

The answer came out as a muddled "Huh--yes?"

As usual, questions and direct interactions caught him off guard. He was used to not having a presence to the extent that people could nearly step on him before they'd notice he was there. At the very least, that lined up roughly with what he consciously preferred.

β€œNo. Um, not that ocean.”- Sander looked vaguely surprised, then frowned slightly once he realized how stupid his question was β€“β€œI mean, the ocean... space thing. In your dreams. Have you ever seen it?”

He stared at Sander, the mention of "dream" bringing back the visage of that endless, sun-parched plain blanketed in storm clouds.

For a long moment, he sat still, eyes fixed on Sander's face without truly looking.

"...I don't know if..." his eyes slipped down to the ground again as he furrowed his brow in confusion, "...What do you mean?"

β€œI mean…we see things. I see things when… the change happens, and…”- Sander let out a frustrated sigh β€“β€œYou know what, never mind. I’m just not making any sense here, am I?”

β€œAnyway, how was your sleep?”- His eyes caught sight of the bandaged hand first, before the question popped into his mind β€“β€œYour hand is better?”

Christmas nodded, eyes still searching the ground for the answer to Sander's previous question. He could still see that landscape so clearly. It only took a glance in his mind's eye for the full image to return, clear and distinct.

"Sander?" he called out the name quietly, roving eyes locking on to a meaningless point on the Berber-esque carpet.

β€œYeah?”

"Would you...would you tell me what you saw?"

β€œUm…”- Sander floundered, searching his vocabulary. Despite his tendency to mince words, he had never been very good with them. That much hadn’t changed over the years β€“β€œI saw an ocean. At least, I think it was an ocean. It was…vast. Went on forever. And it…uh…dripped. Then it was all over.”

It bled power into his veins and hope in his heart and for a moment he thought he could take on the world.

And he would have. But Christmas didn’t need to know that.

More silence spanned the gaps in conversation. Without noticing, Christmas picked at the edge of the bandage on his right hand.

"I saw a field," he whispered into the folds of the blanket wrapped around him, retreating into the cloth as he spoke.

β€œThen you have seen the Change, haven’t you?”- Sander watched his roommates, but his eyes were far from focused β€“β€œBut it happened too fast. Not normal.”- The last part, he mumbled to himself, frowning.

Silence fell between them once more, before Sander decided to speak up, uncertainty laced his voice β€“β€œDo you think I can control, eventually?”

β€œThey both think I could.”

"T-they? Control...what?"

β€œMy…power.”

It suddenly made a lot more sense to Christmas why Sander had stabbed himself the other night. And it dawned on him that Sander...had already controlled it, right?

"...Didn't you already?" he voiced his thoughts, surprising himself in the process.

β€œI…appease it. Never control it.”- Sander drew in a breath of fresh air, trying to swallow the lump that had formed in his throat β€“β€œShe thinks I could. She thinks I should try.”

β€œShould I?”

Christmas wondered about the "she" Sander kept referencing, but he thought it better not to ask. If Sander hadn't brought it up repeatedly, he might have missed it altogether in the flurry of thoughts the conversation was evoking. Beyond that, it felt too personal to ask about Sander's life--his circle of people included.

He breathed in the fading scent of generic detergent from his blanket, a simple answer coming to mind.

"If--" a pause to gather his words, left hand balling the blanket to give his mind some kind of focus "--I were you, I...I would be too afraid to try. And I think you're--I think you're stronger than that." Than me.

Sander let out a light chuckle at his roommate’s words, no humor in his laugh. He kept his head down, once again racking fingers through his hair, the movement uncharacteristically frantic. Before he could persuade himself to clam up and slip the mask back on, Sander stood up and walked over to Christmas’ bed. Lowering himself until he could look the blond boy straight in the eyes, Sander reached out for the healer’s injured hand and caught a loose piece of bandage between his fingers. Barely a moment later, he seemed to have thought better of it, and let go.

β€œβ€¦You offered. Twice.”- Sander’s tone was suddenly sombre-β€œI think that’s already very brave.”

The smaller boy looked away, shaking his head almost imperceptibly. Automatic disagreement. He didn't venture an explanation, however.

Instead, he closed his eyes and took a breath, ashamed of himself--nothing new--as he pulled his knees even closer to his chest on a reflex.

"I'd offer again." For all the wrong reasons. Christmas sighed to the air on his right, echoing his statement from the previous night. He couldn't bring himself to meet Sander's eyes.

β€œEven when it’s not safe?”- A frown creased Sander’s brow β€“β€œWhy? You don’t have to do this. I’m…no one to you.”

The healer looked down at his right hand, swaddled awkwardly in bandages and made even worse by his fidgeting. Several layers of his amateurish dressing had loosened through the night, no doubt because he shifted often in his sleep to the rhythm of uneasy thoughts and uneasier dreams.

"Then I guess...I'm no one to me, too," he answered, hiding a blank smile behind a crease of the blanket around his shoulders. "Do you know my power, Sander?" he asked suddenly, voice muffled in the linen sheet.

Sander’s eyes caught the dishevelled bandages once again, and this time, he could no longer ignore it. He reached out once again with a tentative β€˜May I’, and once the blond boy gave him the go ahead, he unwrapped most of the bandage and tried his best to re-aligned the strands of open-weave cotton. As he worked, he paused briefly at Christmas’ strange question.

β€œYes?”

"...Then don't you already know 'why'?"

β€œSomeone once told me”- Sander suddenly seemed very interested in Christmas’ hand, eyes glued onto the stained bandage β€“β€œthat this power is just a part of us. It doesn’t have to be all we are.”

β€œIt doesn’t have to be all you are.”

Whether Sander believed his own words or not, he didn't know.

Christmas lifted his right hand, the unraveled gauze trailing from it in uneven loops and lengths. Underneath, along the width of his palm and nearly dead center, was the wound he had made for himself. It was still raw and red, barely scabbing over.

"If this--" he tapped his left index finger against the corner of the injury "--was all I am, I'd still take it."

β€œIs that really what you want?”- Sander lifted his head to catch Christmas’ eyes, the weight of the question hung heavy on his tongue.

The blond boy shook his head in response, but he offered no voice to the honest "no." The corners of his lips trembled as he repeated, "I'd still take it."

Sander’ jaws twitched as his eyes hardened, whatever mask he let slipped before had clamped shut again. β€œI see.”- He let out the faintest sigh, then slowly straightened, pulling himself to his full height. Whatever topic they were delving into, the blond boy obviously didn’t feel very comfortable, so he decided to drop it. It hit far too close to home, anyhow.

β€œIt is what it is, then.”- With that said, Sander slowly walked back to his desk, where he reached for a sheet of paper and began writing something down.

Oh, Christmas remembered that look. Something like disappointment and resignation all rolled into one. Nothing changed around him. Because he never changed.

He looked back to his right hand, where Sander had left the wrapping unfinished. It was true. Nothing changed around him even when everything was supposed to.

Not bothering with the gauze at the moment, his left hand reached for the Vita to resume progressing through another visual novel whose story he would only glean in part before losing himself to any train of thought that happened to branch from there. Before long, he was adrift in another daydream, diverting his mind from everything he'd rather not think about until he had to.

As the silence returned to their shared suite, Sander found it easier to focus on wording his request to the Director, and he did so gladly, eager to get his mind away from the recent conversation. His decision was still unclear, but he figured a bit of preparation couldn’t hurt. Really, after all that happened, he knew what his blond roommate would do should last night happened again. Still, a selfish part of him wanted to just try. He caught a glimmer of hope, and he found that he couldn’t let go. Maybe it could get better. Maybe, if he could just try hard enough.

Golden hair stained red and dead eyes looked at him, bloody hand extended.

His fault. He thought it could get better. He thought wrong.

This was a mistake. One he had made. One he refused to learn from.


Sander heaved out a quiet breath, loosening his grip on the pen. Its point had broken right off, leaving large ink stains and a puncture mark where the point broke through paper to embedded itself into the wooden desk.

He needed a new form.

However, before Sander could leave his dorm and headed over to the registrar’s office, guards poured in from the front door. At this point, Sander had become far too used to look at guns from the wrong ends. Funny how things had changed. Funny how they had not. Without a word, he followed them, but not before sparing the blond boy a glance.

Christmas was pulling on yesterday's socks and shoes, obediently following the guards after an initial bout of surprise. He held the drooping lines of bandages in his left hand, tucking them around his right hand and fingers as quickly as he could while moving. It wasn't that he didn't care about his injury, but more that he didn't think it would matter even if something did happen to the cut on his palm. His power, after all, necessitated wounds like these. Even more so now, after the dream of endless fields and endless storms.
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At around 2300 on a Sunday evening, the third floor of the dining hall was almost completely empty, save for a single occupant sitting on the leftmost bar stool in the back, quietly sipping a Last Word with mezcal while the refined bartender discussed something with her in hushed tones.

Director Zhang had finished her work earlier than expected when Kleinfelder had finalized the transcripts for the arriving USARILN West students. Far less than she had hoped for, and while she knew the man had done it on purpose to spite her--had expected it, even--the sixty or so students he had sent were not only generally useless, but also completely spoiled by the lack of regime at USARILN West. She would not only have to deal with managing them in combat, but also managing their on-site behavior.

Problems after problems, but for now those were for another day. Right now, she needed her moment of quiet consolidation before she threw herself back into the logistics of keeping USARILN East on the map. If the surprise attack by Bogeyman had been any indication, the school was now a target for the powerful subnatural. Why? She had a few guesses. None of them pleasant. Worst came to worst, there was always the kill switch. A nuclear warhead fired at the school to prevent any uprisings in the case of the Director's death, or in the case of the Director's consent. Emergency color: black. Hell on earth.

She had stopped sipping her drink at the thought, eyes staring blindly at the bottles of liquor on the shelf. Her position as Director afforded her little rest and relaxation. Shunting the bulk of crucial work off to Greten, Kardos, Schur, and Francisco had alleviated some of the management issues, but had only left her with more background paperwork that went into the red tape around Benediction, and the chaos of announcing Menagerie as the culprit for the attack. As expected, the Department of Defense had neither confirmed nor denied the accusation that Menagerie was the attacker, despite Zhang's false insistence that she had seen him with her own eyes.

How they would toe that fine line, she'd have to wait and see, but no matter what, she would move forward with her plans. She had simply needed this one small spark. If she wasn't out to kill the damn subnatural, she might have thanked Bogeyman for finally giving her the opportunity to sow the seeds of chaos.




Sander hated seeing red in the mirror.

He turned up the heat, letting the steam blur out everything. The hot water was brutal against his pale skin, but he didn’t mind. If anything, the heat was a poor substitution to the one he was losing. However, the oncoming crash was barely a fraction of what he felt days ago. It was just how his power worked; the stronger the high, the steeper the crash. He needed small doses the following days to cushion his fall, or the withdrawal would horrible. It wouldn’t kill him, but most of the times, he wished it would. Regardless, the crisis was averted, for now. Thanks to Christmas and his unusual generosity. Without the withdrawal clouding his mind, Sander finally had a chance to question his roommate’s behaviours. Times and times again, the blond boy extended a helping hand, even when he didn’t have to. Even when it was dangerous. Even when Sander didn’t want him to. For what?

The more he thought about it, the more puzzled the whole situation became. So Sander stopped. He didn’t want to think anymore. He would ask, later, when the time was right. For now, he just wanted to rest.

However, rest did not come. After a few minutes of relentless turning in his bed, Sander finally gave up. He crawled out of bed and promptly dressed in silent, putting on a simple black top and jeans, before throwing on the blue hoodie. It was the same one with the blood stain on the sleeve, which he hadn’t had time to scrub out yet. The faint scent of coffee nudged at his sense every time he turned his head, though, so he ended up leaving without it. It didn’t matter. A new coat would arrive later this week. He could throw this one out.

The cold night air finally let go of him once he stepped into the dining hall. The rush of savoury scents rushed to meet him, though he had to double check whether it was from real food or…not. Thankfully, it was. He figured a late night snack could lure him to sleep, or if that failed, he could head to the bar. Passing out in a public space might not be such a good look, but he needed sleep.

It was then he caught sight of a familiar figure sitting by the bar. No guards about, which was rather strange. But it was convenient, all the same. He had questions.

Moments later, he was already standing right behind the woman. Walking up to the bar, he placed one hand on the stool next to her and patted lightly, getting her attention.

β€œMay I?”

The Director sighed and turned to see yet another student accosting her during her small moments of rest. She took several seconds to flick through the mental catalogue of names and faces, glad that she had already committed the latest batch of newcomers to memory. Rosa, after all, had insisted on it once she had seen the difference of currents in the sky--or something of that nature. Rosa was generally terrible at describing the abstract and her long-winded attempt to explain her sight had ended in a childish sketch on the back of a report sheet that Zhang would have to reprint later.

But it wouldn't do to let the mountain of work overwhelm her now. There would be plenty of time to sigh her soul away and rub her forehead later.

"Mr. Lorraine," she raised an eyebrow and turned back to her drink, the acknowledgment both greeting and permission.

As she spoke, her right hand reached into the side holster strapped to the dress shirt beneath her blouse, withdrawing the semi-automatic with the stag horns on it. She placed it neatly next to her drink, draping her hand lightly over the grip, the message clear.

She knew.

Sander took his seat wordlessly, settling down first before eyeing the racks of bottles behind the bartender. His knowledge of alcohol was hardly extensive, but he knew enough. It would be a few years before he could be drinking legally. Though he wasn’t sure how that law applied to subnaturals. After all, he got away with murder. A few drinks would just be droplets in the ocean.

β€œYou could just taze me.”- He suggested, watching passively as the Director withdrew her weapon. Out of pure curiosity, he sniffed the air experimentally, switching his ability back on. Citrus, with a sharp undertone of mescal. Fitting. β€“β€œWouldn’t ruin your clothes that way.”

A moment of silence as he paused, turning back to look at the various bottles on the shelf β€“β€œAny suggestion? Something strong. I need to sleep.”

"Precautions, Mr. Lorraine. You of all people should know the value of safeguards," she answered before beckoning Steven towards them. "Spirytus for him, Steven. He can take it."

The bartender didn't hesitate, pulling a clear bottle from one of the shelves. The bottle had a green label pasted on the glass, spelling out the words "Spirytus Rektyfikowany." The man poured half a shot glass's worth and placed it in front of Sander.

Sander half-smiled as the shot glass was placed in front of him. Of course he knew what it was. He had seen the same bottle sitting on a shelf in his family kitchen years ago. Wrapping pale fingers around the glass, he let the coolness seeped into his skin as he mumbled a β€˜Thank you’ to the bartender. He knew better than to drink though.

The silence once again stretched between them. Sander’s eyes were calculated as he swirled the clear liquid around in his glass. He figured there was no dancing around the subject with Zhang. He didn’t have much time, and she certainly had even less.

β€œWell, did you see?”- Surely, she must know. There were eyes everywhere; he doubted the arboretum would be an exception.

"I was curious if you would drink it," she glanced at the glass in his hand, "and use Mr. Halvost again to repair the damage."

β€œI would rather not, if you don’t mind.”- He frowned, eyes didn’t leave the glass β€“β€œBut then I assume you know of our…”

He fiddled with the glass, searching for a word.

β€œEscapade.”

"Commander Kardos sent word, yes."

β€œYou read the reports. You know of my withdrawal. Why let it come to that?”-He turned to her then, blue eyes narrowed.

"Your previous research institutes were not looking for combatants--just weapons. That does not continue here," she took another sip of her cocktail, breathing out slowly in the aftermath. "You would be that much more useful if you knew self-control."

β€œI am in control. As long as you don’t let it get so bad.”- Sander balked, confused by the Director’s strange reasoning β€“β€œI don’t see how holding off on the supplements help with my self-control.”

β€œIf anything, that only serves to endanger other students.”

"I recall assigning a near-immortal to your suite. And a healer to quicken the regeneration process," she tapped a neatly trimmed nail against the gun's grip. "I don't need the frail, pathetic Sander Lorraine in control. I need the monster reined in. Every report noted failure after failure in asserting outside control. So the matter rests with you: either accept what you can be or die as you are. But I don't cater to the weak here. Not for long, at least."

β€œYou want the monster? Just give me a few pints of blood and it would come out soon enough.”- Sander’s grip around the glass tightened β€“β€œBut it is not something I can control. I don't understand where you get that notion from. Didn’t the reports tell you as much?”

β€œI almost killed Christmas today. Don’t give me the chance to try again.”

"You overestimate the reports of researchers who were so focused on your upper limits and imposing their own sanctions that they completely failed to test your effective control. You don't think you can control it? Or perhaps you want to think you can't control it? 'Blame the monster, not me'? But, speaking of 'almost' killing others, can you really tell me you failed to change?" a tight-lipped smile twitched on her lips. "I gamble with high stakes, Mr. Lorraine. You and Mr. Halvost are one of many chips on the table."

β€œThat was luck.”- Sander said quickly, but the crack in his voice betrayed his doubt. He stopped. For the first time in years, he made progress. The prospect of control felt almost real, then. Of course he wanted control. But he didn’t dare to hope. β€“β€œI’m not sure I can do it again.”

"Try or don't. Not even Foresight's sure of the future. I would have been surprised if you were."

β€œFine. I’ll humour you. I’ll try, as futile as it is.”- Sander sighed β€“β€œBut don’t involve other people. I have enough blood on my hands already.”

β€œGive me my own room.”

"Ah, yes, because trying in isolation has worked so well for you before," the Director finished her drink, placing the empty glass back onto the counter. "If you think that's trying, then submit the request at the registrar's office. I'll see to it when I return to my desk."

She stood up as she spoke, fixing her blouse and skirt. Without any further remark, the Director holstered her gun and walked away.

As the Director left, Sander turned back to his own thoughts, racking a careful hand through his hair. She gave him a choice. That scared and excited him at the same time. But then, he had choices before. Did any of them matter? He always ended up making the wrong one.

β€œA mudslide, please. Heavy on the vodka.”- He slid the untouched shot glass toward the bartender. For now, he wanted rest. He would think on everything tomorrow.

The bartender had his drink ready within the minute, whisking away the untouched shot glass with expert grace. He didn't seem fazed by the conversation. Or at all, really, which was probably natural when someone like the Director was a regular customer.

To his credit, the man never bothered Sander, leaving the boy to mull over his thoughts in relative solitude.
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