“No, no, I don’t mean any offense,” Petyr stammered, “It’s just-...well, you seem a little old to be courting.”
Ardonne smiled weakly. She was taking her time with the meal - partially to amuse her benefactor and partially to savour what it was going to be like being in a nice warm tavern for the last time. There were plenty of last times today. Just that morning she hugged her mother for the last time... Ardonne looked away for a moment and busied herself with dinner. "My mother had to remarry first. I needed to support the family." She drank her ale and watched Petyr's expression for the crinkle in the brow, the grimace, the doubt...there wasn't any. He was genuinely curious.
"Well, with me by your side you'll never have to worry about work again. I started looking into those books you like, too. There aren't many calligraphists in the province, but I was considering a wedding gift. Which tale was your favourite, again? The bear in the woods?" Petyr was a warm and personable man. For the fifth time that day Ardonne considered a life with him and took a deeper draught of ale to steady her resolve. It was bitter and room temperature.
"Oh, you needn't do any of that. I'm simply content to move out of Bresh." It wasn't a whole lie. Ardonne emptied her bowl and her flagon and lingered over it wistfully. Last hot meal. All gone.
"Oh but it'd be an excellent investment. You can read it to the little ones and when they're old enough they can pass it on to our grandchildren." Ah yes, there it was. Ardonne smiled blithely and rested her hand on her stomach, wondering if a human life felt like a full belly. Then again, she'd helped her mother birth her younger brother...it seemed more laborious than a heavy meal. She had finished her ale but the bitter taste revisited the back of her tongue at the mention of it.
"Perhaps I can teach them how to shoot," she ventured out of curiosity.
Petyr laughed. "If you still remember how by then! It'd be a good story for our son."
Ardonne smiled blithely.
It wasn't good enough. Petyr caught the dullness of her stare, the clenched jaw and the faraway expression. "Is your fever coming back, my sweet?" He asked nervously. "We don't have to rush anything. I promised your father two weeks, but I'm sure you can rest easy until you feel better."
Ardonne bit down on the opportunity and dropped the act, expressing her fretful nerves and everpresent nausea. "Well, I did not want to impose upon you," she murmured softly, fidgeting with a lock of her hair and looking away from him.
The merchant was keen to pander her. It would have been perfect. It should have been perfect, but Ardonne recoiled at the thought of a life with him. "Money is no object. Not when it comes to your health," he reassured her, reaching for her hand and giving it a squeeze. She wrapped her fingers around his. Last hand to hold.
"Would you mind if I rested tomorrow? I want nobody to disturb me. Just...a loaf of bread, a pitcher of water. My stomach is-...unsteady." Not an entire lie either. Ardonne felt the bile ride again as she faced her decision as if it were inevitable fate.
"Of course, my dove. Would you permit me to bring you to your chambers this evening? If I'm to be away from you for the whole day…" Petyr's smile was hopeful and mischievous and Ardonne's heart ached for him. It felt like a cruel twist of the knife to put him into such a situation.
"Yes, but if you go any further than my door then I shall ride home to my father." Petyr's smile faltered and Ardonne cursed herself for being so steely. "I mean no disrespect, this is our first private outing. And I've heard such tall tales about some of the coarser village boys back home…"
Petyr laughed and Ardonne exhaled in relief. "I'm no mere village boy, my dove! I shall fetch you your bread and water."
Within the hour Ardonne had locked the door and barricaded it. She was staring at her naked body in the mirror. Last time she'd see her reflection. She took stock of what she had made of herself, poked and prodded her blemishes and got changed into her hunting gear. She checked her quiver. She packed her bread and poured her water. It was still light outside. She checked her belt and her field guide, fingers slipping absentmindedly over her real father's name in its browned ink on the contents page. "I'm so sorry," she croaked, looking for his ghost. The stress of it all made tears well in her eyes. She took a shuddering breath and stared at her face, willing herself to feel his hand on her shoulder, praying for a sign, anything…"I'm coming, dad. I'll be with you shortly."
It was like all the tales. Sometimes there wasn't a happy ending... sometimes you just had to accept your lot. She wouldn't face it as a blubbering mess. In whatever lay beyond her life, she could sit and cry for millennia. For now, she wanted to do it on her terms. Stoic, calm, and ready for what lay beyond. After she passes those cairns she will step into the limbo between worlds and she will test her mettle until the bitter end. And who knows? Perhaps she'll find her way out, a changed woman ready to face the North and take no man's order and foster no squalling babes in her stomach. And if not... she'll see dad again.
Ardonne only left once the smudges of orange had slipped below the horizon. It wasn't that hard to sneak out of the window, she'd been doing it for years back at her childhood home and Faro rural architecture was a fairly universal affair. What mattered now was making distance. They wouldn't be able to see much using torchlight but movement was quick to spot in one's periphery so she kept low and darted up towards the distant cairns, stopping only to crouch and hide behind an errant rock or the base of a tree. It was only as she made it to the edges of the woods that she noticed a group maybe a kilometre away, a little less, by the cairn adjacent to the one she was headed into.
What the group saw was a dim figure jogging up and even slightly into the heavy canopy of the forest before it stopped and lingered by one of the trees, staring unabashedly towards the gathered bounty hunters with an indistinguishable expression - it was too dark.
Ardonne thought fast. For one, there was no way anyone from the town over had noticed she was gone. Also... safety in numbers. She may be able to make some considerable distance if she travelled in a group. Then again, they may be guards patrolling the edges of the forest. They hadn't come to detain her yet...she started to panic. She wasn't expecting people to be as foolish as she was and she certainly wasn't expecting them to come armed and ready for a fight. Her flightiness kicked in as she hastily got her bow out, nocked an arrow, and fretfully skirted a little deeper into the beast's domain, watching to see what they'd do to her.